Game Changer (Hell's Saints Motorcycle Club) (10 page)

“Raine.” He frowned still holding her away from him. He dropped his grip on her and moved towards me.

Ellie pulled at him and he growled at her. “Get Off Me.”

I took a step back, feeling broken. Damn. I wished it hadn’t hurt seeing them together like that but it did and not just a little bit. Especially after the time we had just shared. What was going on? Was it really that easy for Diego to go from me to Ellie and then back again? I knew what I needed to do. I needed to keep walking and let tonight be forgotten.

Walkaway Joe.

Diego stood in my path. Big arms crossed, feet wide apart. Blocking my way and blotting out my view of the she devil he had just seconds ago been wrapped around.

Ellie, on her part, wasn’t going to be forgotten that easily. She moved quickly to put herself in front of Diego and way too close to me.

“Yeah, that’s right. Pocahontas,” She sneered.

Oh no, she didn’t.

“Me and Diego, for two years now.
Me and Diego
.”

“Shut up, Ellie.” Diego face dark and body tense. Watching me.

“Really, honey, she should know.” Ellie looked back at him, smiled brilliantly and tossed her hair.

Then she was back on me, at full attention and she wasn’t smiling.

“Yeah, that’s right,
Raine.”
She spat may name out as though it tasted bad on her tongue.

“Diego took you for a ride on his bike tonight, but it’s me that he has been riding in
his bed.
You were sitting on his bike, I was sitting on his face.”

OH MY GOD! WHO SAYS THAT?

“Come to think of it, I was wearing that same sweatshirt the last time I went down on him. Yeah, on my knees for my man with nothing on but his sweatshirt. Is that why she’s wearing it, baby? Because you like the smell of me on her?”

Her words hit me like they meant to and pierced a spray of heavy artillery right through me. My stomach cramped and my fingers were so tight at my sides I broke skin. I felt that shot everywhere. It filled me with such a deep ache that it didn’t even leave any room for me to go into. So I had to just stand there, all out and take it. Then I wrapped my arms so tight around me that my ribs hurt.

Jules flew into action and wrapped his fingers around Ellie’s throat, almost lifting her off the ground. Diego and I were locked in an eye battle. He almost looked as shocked as I felt. Almost.

“Shut up you fucking skank.” Jules Roared.

Ellie wasn’t done. She still wasn’t done
.

How could she not be done?

“Let me go Jules!” She spat out. She twisted violently. Her eyes on me with hate. She was heaving and there was spittle at the edges of her mouth.

Jules let go of her neck but wrapped his big arms around her middle trying to drag her away from me. She was so angry she was convulsing.

“How stupid are you bitch? You think for a minute he is going to choose a beat up, beat down dirty little Indian whore over me? You think you’re special? You think he’s into you? You’re just the flavor of the month, bitch.”

Then she sneered, “
You’re being used Raine
. And if you don’t believe me, just wait and see. Wait long enough, you’ll even get used to it. Christ, half your body is black and blue. You’re used to it already.” Ellie’s voice cracked. “You feeling me bitch?”

I heard something in her fall apart and I
watched
Ellie then. Under all that venom and teased hair and heavy makeup Ellie was young. And desperate. And hurt. And fighting for something she felt slipping away from her. We were not unalike in that way. But life had twisted Ellie in a way that I had worked hard to keep from happening to me. And to Claire. Ellie was spiteful and mean and dangerous. Ellie was poison. And Ellie was wrong.

I was all over it then, and cat spitting mad.

“You done? You done now, Ellie?”

Then I took a step closer and leaned into
her.

“I get that you’re not happy seeing me with Diego. I get that you don’t like me being anywhere near him. I get that he has had you … let me see if I’ve got this right….. in his bed, on his face, and what was that last one? Oh yeah
, blowing him
for the past two years. I get that you’re his regular fuck buddy and to you that means he’s your man. Am I feeling you so far, Ellie?”

Jules was holding on to the finally subdued Ellie, and Diego hadn’t taken his eyes off me the entire time. His eyes dark with fury and his mouth grim. I couldn’t even look at him. My eyes were hard on Ellie and hers were harder on me. I had her full attention, and she was certainly feeling me.

“I get because of your fuck buddy status that you don’t appreciate a……..hmmm what was that again? Oh yeah, a beaten up, beaten down, dirty little Pocahontas coming in to threaten that. I get that you think I’m too stupid to understand that I’m nothing more than a flavor of the month. I get that you think beaten up whores like me should be used to life’s little disappointments.”

Oh yes I did, and I wasn’t done yet.

“I’m definitely feeling you, Ellie. Now listen up, because this is you feeling me.”

“Pocahontas, just to be clear, was the daughter of Powhatan. He was the chief of the Algonquian Indians. She was an honest to Christ, real Native American princess. I’m not her. My name is Raine, Ellie. You got issues with me, you call me by my goddamn name.”

She was watching me and you know I was
watching
her. None of the crazy was gone from her eyes, but she was listening.

“I met
your man
a week ago. In that time I’ve been threatened by him, rescued by him, and judged by him. I’ve had dinner with him and been for a ride with him. What I’ve not been is fooled by him or used by him. Or, and hear this clearly
, fucked by him
. So you don’t get to call me a whore. The Diego trophy is still all yours girlfriend, and it certainly sounds like you have earned it.”

I paused for a minute to let that sink in. Then I full on started again.

Oh yes I did.

Because really?
Really?

“You’re right about one thing Ellie. That black and blue you see on me is from a man. He hit me and I left. The reason I went back wasn’t because I needed him, but because I needed something he had that was mine. He found me and he beat me again. That’s not something I plan on ever getting used to. There’s no reason for me to ever go back there again. The hope I had of him loving me died with that first punch. If he ever comes back to get me, I’ll not go back to him. I’ll kill him. You still feeling me Ellie?”

Ellie’s eyes were on me brittle with hate but also just a glimmer of understanding.

And I had more.

“I don’t fight over men. I don’t respond to threats made by women who want to fight over men. Whatever there is between you and Diego is none of my business. And honestly, despite the crazy you’re wearing, I get this is what it costs you to love him. I get it and I’m sorry for the part I might have played in making you feel this.”

And I honestly was. No woman should be made to feel that much pain over loving a man. I didn’t like being part of what caused that.

But because Ellie was too far gone, she wouldn’t take the out I had just given her.

“Bitch you don’t even know what it takes to love a man like him.” She just couldn’t quit.

I took a step back then. There are some woman who will just never get it.

I was talking to Ellie, but I was looking straight at Diego.

“I do know. I know exactly what it takes. It takes everything. It takes it all. And every time, every single time you dare to hope it’s gone for good. It sneaks right back in and then it takes some more.”

It was 12:01.

Crow had seen that crazy chick approaching Raine and was on it. When Jules moved in on her throat he was only half a step ahead of Crow. Jesus, what was Diego thinking? You don’t go from a woman like Ellie to a woman like Raine without doing some serious damage control first. He had left her out there. Again. When Diego moved to go after Raine, Crow stood in front of him.

“Brother, you need to clean this up first.” And he nodded right at Ellie. Diego knew Crow was right, but had to make one thing clear.

“Me taking a minute to do that should not be mistaken as me opening that door, you get me brother?”

Crow walked away thinking that’s exactly what that meant.

*****

Diego had headed Ellie off when she went for Raine the first time. Then she had thrown herself at him when he had tried to tell her it was over. What Raine had seen was Ellie’s last ditch attempt to persuade Diego another way. Then she had turned her fury onto Raine. The twisted look on her face, the spittle foaming at her mouth, she had gone full on crazy. A full on assault. Holy Fuck, Ellie wouldn’t shut up. Ellie had Raine on the ropes and kept slugging.

Diego knew Ellie had it in her, but honestly he was shocked at the venom that came spewing from her mouth. He knew that anything he said would just make it worse, so he watched, ready to pick up Raine and physically remove her if it came to that. But it didn’t come to that.

Because his girl had handled it.

While Ellie continued her battery, Raine had gone perfectly still. Her hands were at her sides and she was listening. She absorbed each blow. Ellie pressed her advantage backing Raine into the ropes. Raine took in all the shit that Ellie was handing her.

Until she didn’t.

Then she had come out swinging.

Diego banged on my very locked door much later that night. I ignored him and his ridiculous pounding. He had stood on the other side of that door yelling my name and threatening to “kick in this fucking door right now.” I had to pull the pillow tight around my head to drown out his voice and eventually he went away. Actually, eventually I heard someone come and drag him away.

I had stood my ground with Ellie but it had taken a toll on me.

Two years.
Ellie and Diego for
two years.
I didn’t know how to feel about that. I didn’t know what to think of a guy who would spend
two years
with a woman like that. Two years and he had never taken her on his bike. This seemed to be the core of what set Ellie off. I hadn’t one clue, not one insight into this whole MC thing, and I didn’t think I wanted to.

But I sure as hell knew Crazy. I had spent my life avoiding Crazy and I certainly would never willingly start a thing with Crazy’s man. I wasn’t about to open my bedroom door in the wee hours of the morning to let that man in. Not at dawn, or twilight either. Opening that door would bring me nothing but trouble. And heartache.

The trouble I could handle.

The heartache would kill me.

Just seeing her with him wrapped in his arms proved that. For just a little while last night at dinner I had let myself imagine what it would be like to be loved by Diego. I imagined it all to be wonderful. A little house with a fireplace and flower pots in the window. Wind chimes and stained glass. And babies. Lots of brown eyed, soft skinned chubby little happy souls. I would love them and the man who gave them to me
. As long as we both shall live.

Then it all came crashing down on me and I felt like such an idiot. Then she had called me Pocahontas and beaten up and I felt humiliated and pathetic. I swear to God I was ready to just turn and run. I wanted to run and run and run as far as I could away from her, from him.

But then her voice cracked and I
saw her.
And when I saw her, I saw myself, or what I could have become if I hadn’t been fighting to keep that down for my whole life. So I had tried. I tried to explain and apologize and bring her into the Sisterhood of Lost Souls. But Ellie was too far gone. I didn’t know what happened between Diego and Ellie after I left, but I hoped I would never see either one of them again.

I got up and got dressed. I wanted to be out of there before any one saw me. I felt like I needed to put more than a few hours between my total humiliation and those who had witnessed that.

But, that was not going to happen. Jules was manning the kitchen and must have heard my shower running because there was a hot cup of coffee and some cinnamon toast waiting for me. When I tried to wave off his offer of coffee and head for the door, he took pity on my nervous glance around. He told me that Diego had “apparently cleaned up the Ellie mess and they had reached a mutual agreement (whatever that meant) and he had gotten rid of her” (holy shit, whatever that meant).

Then Jules explained that “the getting rid of” meant that Diego had given Ellie the transport to catch a plane, train or bus; her choice as long as she was gone by this morning. That meant Diego would be gone at least most of the day, then he was going to do some MC business which might take a couple of days. Crow was out doing a restock at one of the bars that the Saints owned downtown.

Good news and good news.

The day was already looking up.

Too bad Diego wasn’t taking that plane, train or bus with Ellie. I was singularly unimpressed with the shipping her off thing. Crazy finds its way back. It always does. I wasn’t ready to face Diego and I was thinking that the not ready thing may turn into a never ever ready thing. Pure self-preservation. He wasn’t the man for me, and besides that, this whole thing had hurt me a lot. I honestly didn’t think I could be with a man who could be with a woman like that.

So I had my cup of Joe with Jules and munched on some toast. I told him that I planned to take Prosper’s car out for the day and get some errands done. I wasn’t familiar with the area but was hoping there was a branch of my bank around and maybe a mall. Now that I had my life savings back, I could take a moment to do some retail therapy and time away from the compound to think about my future. I couldn’t stay holed up here forever. I needed a job.

My nursing school graduation was imminent, but I had decided to wait for the diploma in the mail. I didn’t have the heart to don the cap and gown and honestly, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be a nurse any more. I had taken the course of study because of how well it paid and I knew I could probably get a job just about anywhere Claire and I decided to go. I thought it would fill my life with purpose to help the sick little children and their families but really it had just made me sad. I hadn’t liked the windowless corridors of the hospitals or the arrogance of the doctors. Having the support of Prosper made me feel like I had family, and that felt secure to me. Maybe I could start thinking in a different direction now. After all, education is something that never goes away and I would have that nursing degree forever.

Jules had his head bent and was cursing over some numbers. I smiled at the top of his head. I knew that Jules was a bad ass. He was a big scarred biker dude with huge hands and tribal tattoos. But to me, he was a gentle giant and a hero of sorts. He was the first one who had come to my rescue when I called out for help on that strange and fateful day. He made me breakfast and had almost choked Ellie last night on my behalf. Jules was my friend.

I brought my head close to his and looked at what he was struggling with. It was some kind of inventory sheet. A few pages worth and by the looks of it, it was a mess. I was a numbers girl. As a kid in school I had always loved math. I loved the unshaken reliability of it. Two plus two always made four. No matter what. It was logical and sequential and fixed. Yeah, I loved math.

After a brief discussion with Jules, I found out that the Hell’s Saints actually owned three saloon type bars and were in the process of opening up a fourth. Their book keeper was going through some “transition time” (which I think was probably better termed prison time) and the bookkeeping task had fallen to Jules. He was having a fuck of a time with it. His words not mine. I looked it over, subtracted a few things where he had added, moved a couple of columns over and then checked the total. Jules looked at me like I was Houdini and gave me a big bear hug. He made me laugh and I smiled. Then he offered me a job doing the books for the newest bar, a place called Ruby Reds. I accepted on the spot and he told me there was even a real office to work in. I wasn’t sure if this was a true and serious offer for employment but Jules assured me it was. I couldn’t have been more thrilled.

I took Prosper’s car for the day. It was a five speed black Saab. It was fun to drive and had a kickass stereo system and a built in navigation system. I plugged in some destinations and was on my way. The area was really pretty and had these little caches of small towns which surrounded an urban hub. I stayed away from the major city but enjoyed driving through the small towns. Two of which had branches of my bank so I was able to deposit my money again. Snap, I felt that relief in the tips of my toes. I kept some out though. I stopped at a cool little store and bought Claire a cute card and sent her the max cash she was allowed.

Then I treated myself to day that I hadn’t had since…well, ever. I did the retail therapy thing up royally. The only thing that was missing was a friend to share it all with. Or a sister. I missed Claire. But I still managed to do it up. Honestly I had a blast.

I treated myself to a Cobb salad and two glasses of wine at a little bistro nestled in the foothills. They had a great pastry section and I spent a small fortune on scones, cinnamon buns, fruit tarts, turnovers and muffins to bring back to the kitchen house so that Jules could get a break on breakfast duty in the morning. Then I treated myself to a manicure and a pedicure. I found an organic cosmetic store and spend too much on black velvet mascara, eyeliner, shampoo and conditioner. I bought body wash, the lotion and the spray all in the same fragrance so I could layer the scents. I bought new underwear.

I bought two pairs of outrageously expensive jeans that made my ass look great and three soft sweaters in neutral colors. When the clerk told me that the navy blue pencil skirt and the off the shoulder white blouse looked fab on me, I added them to the pile. I decided on four thin V neck tee shirts in black, light pink, baby blue and bright white. I tried on and purchased a tiny black backless dress that the sales person convinced me looked classy and not at all trashy and the silver strappy sandals to go with it. I finished off the trip with a butter soft, black leather jacket, biker boots, pajama pants and camisole tops. I bought a lacy night gown in black then I bought it in white.

I bought and I bought and I bought. Oh yes I did

Then I took myself out to dinner. After that I took myself to a movie. Finally, I drove myself home to the Hell’s Saints compound where I had to make three trips out to the car to bring in all my packages. Some of the brothers were out in the yard area, I could see a small fire burning but otherwise it was pretty quiet. I laid the pastries out on the counter with a note to Jules and then I went to my room to unwrap and delight in my purchases. That night I had the flying dream again.