Gambling With the Crown (14 page)

It hardly seemed possible when her body still ached from Kadir’s possession last night. How would she ever be able to let another man touch her? Maybe crashing into a concrete embankment on a dark highway was sometimes a kindness.

Emily gritted her teeth. That was a terrible, terrible thought. Her mother died because she was selfish and uncontrollable, not because it was romantic to die with your lover rather than be parted. And hadn’t Emily already decided she was not that weak?

Emily reached over and threw the window up, determined to watch Kyr slide by as the plane began to charge the runway. The palms and desert and sandstone blended together faster and faster until suddenly she could feel the ground drop out from beneath them. The plane soared into the sky and she pressed her face to the window, hoping for a glimpse of the royal palace.

But it didn’t happen and she sat back again, her heart hurting with everything she felt. She would survive this, but it would take time. She picked up the remote and turned on the television across from her. She needed something to concentrate on, something to distract her. She found a movie and started it. Not a romantic movie, but a taut suspense thriller about some woman running from an organization that wanted her dead.

She’d barely begun the story when the plane banked. There was nothing unusual in that—except that it kept banking, almost as if they were going in a circle. When the nose tilted down rather than up, Emily’s gaze snapped up.

A flight attendant hurried over at the look on her face. “We are returning to the airport, madam. Everything is fine.”

“Justine, please call me Emily. We’ve known each other too long for all this
madam
stuff.”

Justine nodded. “Emily, then. The pilot says he’s been ordered to return. I don’t know why.”

Ordered to return.
Emily hugged her arms around herself as the plane descended. Soon they were on the ground and taxiing back to the terminal. Emily wanted to scream. She’d already made it through one departure. She didn’t want to endure another one, though it seemed as if she would have no choice.

When the door opened, a man in palace robes entered the plane. “Your Highness,” he said, bowing low. “Please come with me.”

Emily couldn’t move for the longest time as she tried to process this latest development. What was going on? Where were they taking her? Had something happened to Kadir?

It was that last thought that had her fumbling for her seat belt and rising on shaky legs to follow the man off the plane and into the waiting limousine. It was nearly dark now and a bloodred moon hung low over the horizon. The sky was that deep purplish-blue that happened only at dusk.

“Where are we going?” she finally asked when the car started to move.

“To the palace, Your Highness. The king commands it.”

She turned her head and leaned against the glass.
Why, Kadir? Why?
Her throat ached with the giant lump forming there. How could he bring her back again after he’d dismissed her so coldly earlier? He’d sent her divorce papers and sent her to the airport. And now this.

They soon arrived at the palace. Emily smoothed her skirt and lifted her head high. And then she followed the man inside. People stopped and stared as she passed. A few whispered loudly to each other.

But then the man halted in front of a door flanked by two tall guards with swords that she was positive weren’t just ceremonial. After a quick conversation, her escort turned to her. “Are you prepared, Your Highness?”

Emily blinked. He’d called her that three times now, but she was no longer Kadir’s wife. It was a mistake, but one that rattled her. “Prepared for what?”

“To appear before the council.”

“The council?”

He didn’t answer, just flung the door wide and stood back so Emily could enter. Her legs trembled as she stood in the entry to the grand room, but she told herself it was no worse than attending meetings with Kadir in his other life. She’d often sat off to one side and listened to people fight over business while she took notes. How could this be any worse?

She went into the room and ground to a halt as she realized this wasn’t a small meeting. The entire council ringed the room on a dais, their faces stern and unfriendly. Emily swallowed. But then a man stood up at the far end of the room and her eyes flew to him.

Kadir.

He looked magnificent in a black
dishdasha
trimmed in gold. Around his waist was a wide belt with a ceremonial dagger and on his head he wore a white
kaffiyeh
held in place with a golden
igal.
Her heart throbbed with love and relief at the sight of him—and, yes, annoyance. She wanted to go to him, but she knew she could not. She remained where she was and waited for someone to tell her what the hell was going on.

Kadir stepped off the dais and came toward her and the trembling in her legs grew stronger. His face was hard and dark and beloved. He was remote and handsome and she reminded herself that she had faced this situation many times before as his PA. She’d stood beside him and not shown an iota of emotion. She could certainly do so now, even if her heart cried out for him.

“Your Majesty,” she said, dropping her chin when he strode up to her. The council could not fail to approve of that, she decided.

“Emily.” He reached out, and then he was tilting her chin up until she had to look at him. His eyes were softer than before and she swallowed.

“Why am I here?” Her voice was a whisper because she could not manage anything more.

He took her hand and lifted it to his lips, and her body sizzled with that simple touch. “Because I need you.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

E
MILY
SWALLOWED
AND
warned herself sternly not to read anything into this. Kadir had said he needed her many times over their four years together. Usually he needed her to take notes, make calls, reschedule meetings. Last night he’d needed her in a different way, and while her body melted at the memory of everything they’d done together, she would not allow herself to be weak now when she’d been strong for so long.

“Surely you have people who can take notes for you.”

His grin was unexpected and her heart skipped a beat. “This is why I love you, Emily. You say things to me that no one else would. You make me laugh.”

Emily’s lungs refused to fill for a long moment. “Please don’t say those words to me. I’m in no place to take them as a joke right now.”

He frowned. “I am doing this badly, then. They were not meant as a joke.”

She closed her eyes and forced herself to be calm before she could look into his gray gaze again. “You’re seriously telling me right now, right here, in front of a council of Kyrian leaders, that you love me?”

His frown deepened. “Bad timing, yes? I apologize, but I’m desperate.”

She let her gaze drift over the gathering. They still looked stern, but she was fairly certain they couldn’t hear what she and Kadir were saying. And then his words sank in and she realized what he was doing. Still playing the game, still trying to prove to these men he wasn’t a king.

“I take it your brother has arrived.” She said the words dully even as her heart froze solid.

Kadir was looking at her curiously. “Yes. I have summoned him to this meeting as well. He will be here any moment.”

“I see.” And she did. Kadir was making one last desperate bid for his freedom. Everyone believed he was the next king, but if his brother was here, then he could formally renounce the throne in front of the council and Rashid would take it. She was here to remind them how faulty his judgment could be. Perhaps he’d even decided to insist she be his queen. That would give the old boys a heart attack for sure.

He kissed her hand again and then tucked it into his arm before leading her up to the dais and seating her in one of the chairs placed against the wall. He touched her cheek, his fingers lingering for a long moment. It took everything she had not to lean into his touch. Not to close her eyes and press his palm to her skin.

He needed her to help him once more. To get him out of a predicament. So why did he have to carry the game too far and tell her he loved her? Her soul was already broken and battered because of the last few days with this man. She didn’t need to heap a false promise of love on top of the pile of rubble her life had become.

Kadir took his seat again. She tried not to look at him, but she couldn’t drag her gaze from his profile. But then the door opened and another man came in. This man looked so much like Kadir that she might have sworn they were twins. Tall, handsome, yet somehow colder and far more remote than Kadir had ever been.

Rashid looked angry, haunted, and yet he also looked as if no man in this room could defeat him. No matter what anyone did to him, his eyes said, he would always win. Because, she realized, he didn’t care what happened to him. She could see it in the set of his shoulders, the defiant look in his sharp gaze. He looked like someone who had lost everything and therefore couldn’t care about anyone. This was the Lion of Kyr, a fierce, hard, brooding man who would as soon chew his own leg off than be trapped and tamed.

“Welcome, brother,” Kadir said in English. The council swung their gazes to him, no doubt surprised that he wasn’t speaking Arabic. Kadir stood and walked down the steps to the floor. Then he turned around, his arms wide, and faced the entire council. He said something in Arabic and a man hurried over to the foot of the dais.

“Omar will translate what I say, but I will be speaking in English so that my wife can understand.”

Emily’s jaw dropped, but Kadir kept speaking. “Yes, you are still my wife, Emily. I have rescinded the divorce decree. We are married, unless you tell me you want it otherwise.”

He bowed his head a moment, and then he shook it, muttering to himself. A second later, he was bounding up the stairs and pulling her to her feet. They stood facing one another while the council, Rashid and the translator looked on.

“I will not divorce you, Emily. I love you too much. And if I am to be king of Kyr, you will be queen.”

Emily’s heart pounded. The words coming from his lips were so beautiful, so amazing, but she told herself not to believe them. It was a performance, and a good one. But oh, how it hurt. How much she wanted it to be real, for this amazing man to truly want her as his wife.

The interpreter finished speaking and the council started to murmur. She couldn’t tell if it was an angry murmur or what because her blood hummed too loudly in her ears. She couldn’t drag her gaze away from Kadir, though she desperately wanted to. She was just like all those other women, wanting him so much, wanting to believe everything he said, reading more into it than there was.

“There is another solution,” Kadir continued, this time turning to face the room. He held her hand tightly in his. “My brother, Rashid, can take the throne. He is the eldest. He has no wife. His business is oil, whereas mine is building skyscrapers. A good skill, but not quite the one Kyr needs.”

Rashid stood, tight-lipped and furious, but he did not speak. His arms were folded over his chest and he glared at them both. Emily knew then that this performance was as much for Rashid as for the council.

Kadir led her down the stairs and over to Rashid. His gaze flickered over her but stayed on Kadir.

“I have seen his last decrees, Rashid. He did not name his successor. He was stubborn to the last.”

“He wanted us to fight over it, then.” Rashid sounded bitter.

“Or maybe he decided to let us choose.”

Rashid’s snort said he didn’t believe it for a moment. “If that gives you comfort, brother.”

“It does not. But I know in my heart that you are Kyr’s king. And I am your faithful servant.”

Rashid’s eyes blazed with fresh agony. “Kadir—”

“Take your place, Rashid. Take your nation and be the king you were meant to be.”

The two men stared at each other for a long moment. And then Rashid looked over at her and Emily’s belly churned.

“You truly love this woman?”

“With every atom of my being.”

Emily couldn’t stop the sob that choked out of her then. Both men were looking at her. Kadir seemed alarmed.

“Sorry,” she said, yanking her hand from his. “I can’t—I can’t...”

She rushed toward the door and yanked it open and then she was running blindly down the hall in her too-tall shoes. She tripped and stumbled, catching herself against the wall. Then she reached down and ripped off the shoes, tossing them so she could run barefoot through the palace.

“Emily!”

Kadir’s voice behind her sounded frantic, but she didn’t stop. She couldn’t. She kept running, past people who stopped and stared, past servants and deliverymen, past the dignitaries who were gathering in Kyr for the old king’s funeral. Tears streaked down her cheeks, blurred her vision, but she kept running until she burst into an outdoor gallery that flanked a giant grassy courtyard ringed by palm trees. Water tinkled in a fountain at the center of the courtyard, an extravagance in the desert.

“Emily.”

She spun to find Kadir behind her. The moonlight on his face revealed confusion and apprehension. Or maybe it was just a trick of the light. Maybe it was what she wanted instead of what was.

She backed away, hitting the lip of the fountain. Somehow she managed not to fall in, but what did it matter? Her dignity was already ruined. She’d burst into tears in front of him, in front of them all, and she’d failed in her performance as his wife when he’d needed it most.

“Why did you have to say that?” she demanded. “Why did you have to taunt me that way?”

Kadir came forward, holding out a hand as if trying to gentle a frightened animal. “Say what, Emily? What did I say that upset you so much?”

She couldn’t breathe. She pressed her hand to her stomach and tried to concentrate on pulling air into her lungs, but it hurt so badly. “You lied, Kadir. In front of them all. You lied so your brother would take the throne.”

“I did not lie.” His face was a thundercloud now and she marveled at how he could be so indignant when she was the one who’d been wronged.

“You said you love me.” It hurt to repeat the words, but she shook her head and continued. “You said it so the council would think you were a bad choice to rule this nation. I understand why you did it, but it’s wrong to say something like that.”

He came closer then, his eyes narrowed. “What if I meant it?”

She snorted. “You can’t mean it.”

“Why not? Because I am a player? Because I tend to pick women based on their bra size rather than their intellect?”

He somehow managed to prick her conscience. Last night he’d grown angry when she’d said something about his smooth talking. And she’d admitted to herself that he was not unfeeling. But that was before he’d used love to get what he wanted.

“I’m just your temporary wife, Kadir. And your former employee. You can’t love me after one night of sex.”

“No, I don’t love you after one night of sex.”

Her lungs deflated again. But at least he was being honest.

He grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look up at him. “I love you because I can’t live without you. Because you’re my best friend in the world, the one person who knows me for who I really am and who loves me in spite of myself.”

“I never said I loved you.” Her voice was a whisper and her pulse was a hot rush in her veins.

He smiled and there was a world of feeling in that smile. For her. “But you do. I know it, Emily. I know it because I feel exactly as you feel. As if my world would end when you walked out of it.”

“That’s not love. That’s infatuation.” She sniffed.

“I don’t believe that for a minute.”

Panic flooded her as old fears sprang to the fore. “But what if it’s true? What if one day one of us wakes up and decides this is no longer enough? What if we want more than the other can give?”

His brows drew down, his eyes searching hers. “Why are you saying these things?”

Emily trembled. “My mother left my father when he got sick. For another man. She claimed to love Dad, but when he needed her, she left.” Her throat ached. “If she hadn’t left us, she wouldn’t have been in the car with that man when he, when he—”

“He what, Emily?”

“He drove into an embankment. They were killed instantly.”

He yanked her into his arms and hugged her tight. “I’m sorry, so sorry. But please tell me what this has to do with us.”

She clutched his robes and hid her face among the folds. He smelled so good. When she was in his arms like this, she never wanted to leave. But what if she had no choice?

“What if I turn out like her in spite of my best intentions? What if I make a bad decision? What if, six months from now, you decide you’ve had enough of me? What will I do then? Something stupid?”

He squeezed her against him. “Other than falling in love with me, I am pretty certain you are incapable of stupid things.”

“I never said I loved you.”

He gently pushed her back and gazed down at her. “No, you didn’t. And I want to hear it.”

Panic twisted in her belly. “I’m afraid, Kadir.”

“So am I. I just gave up a throne for you and maybe it was all for nothing.”

She laughed, but it wasn’t precisely a happy sound. “You did not give it up for me. You never wanted it in the first place.”

“No, this is true. But I would have taken it to save Kyr. And I would have given it up to have you, even if having you meant ruining Kyr.”

“Don’t say that!” She glanced at the surrounding courtyard, worried that someone would overhear him. Surely he was committing treason to even think such a thing.

“I’m not worried. Besides, Rashid is king now. I can say what I wish.”

“He agreed?”

“I didn’t give him much choice, I’m afraid.” He ran his hands down her arms and bent to meet her gaze again. “We are not finished yet. I’m waiting for you to admit you love me.”

Fear was a palpable thing in her chest. “What happens in six months? A year?”

“I have no idea, but I know that whatever it is, it will happen with you at my side.”

He sounded so certain, so confident, but how did he know?

“If I left you now, you’d get over it.”

“Eventually.” He sighed and took a step back. “Emily, all I want is your happiness. If leaving me is what will make you happy, then I’ll grant you the divorce. But I have no fear about the strength of our love, if you will only admit the way you feel.”

“You aren’t worried I’ll leave you in six months? Or twenty years?”

“No.” He spread his arms and flourished his palms as if showcasing the merchandise. “Six
days
with all this and you will be incapable of ever looking at another man.”

Emily couldn’t help but laugh, in spite of the fear still gripping her heart. “You’re incorrigible, Kadir.”

“I believe
delightful
is the word you are looking for.”

Something gave way in her heart then, some last little lock that was holding tight to her fear and pain and binding her in chains of unhappiness. And when it did, when her heart could finally beat again, the feelings swelling inside it were all for this man. Her love was bright and hot and true and she knew it would last.

Just as his would last for her.

“Yes,” she said softly, “I think that
is
the word.”

Kadir dragged her into his arms and kissed her hard. “You are mine,” he growled when he finally let her breathe again. “Mine forever.”

“And you are mine.”

“This is a deal I’ll happily accept.”

They kissed under the moonlight until Kadir swept her into his arms. Emily wrapped her arms around his neck, giddy with love and excitement and sheer joy as her gorgeous sheikh strode into the palace and up to their suite of rooms.