Gabe (Steele Brothers #6) (3 page)

Just the thought of losing my father had me swallowing tears. He’d been the one and only man I’d always been able to count on and I couldn’t imagine my life without him. I needed him. That’s when I realized my mother was right. I’d never needed Jason the way I needed my family.

“You think a man needs to feel needed?” I asked, mulling over her claim. “That without that assurance he starts to feel inconsequential?”

“How would you feel?” she asked. “If you were married to the love of your life and you knew, at any moment, they could walk out the door and be just fine without you?”

“I guess I’d feel like crap,” I admitted, thinking about the way I must have made Jason feel during our marriage. “But that doesn’t excuse what he did. If he felt that way, he should have talked to me about it. Maybe we could have gone into counselling before he did something that I couldn’t forgive.”

“People forgive their spouse’s infidelity every day,” my mother reminded me. “I’m not saying it’s right or that’s how I would respond—”

“How would you react if Dad cheated on you?” I’d never asked her that question before. I’d always assumed she would have done what I did, walk away, but now I wasn’t so sure.

“I guess it would depend on the circumstances.”

I’d made up my mind about infidelity long before Jason betrayed me. For me, it was a deal breaker. No questions asked. “I can forgive him,” I said, knowing I had to. For my sake, for our daughter’s sake, not for his. “But that doesn’t mean I want him back. I don’t.”

“And that’s fine, Kendra. That’s your decision to make. I’m just suggesting that you think about why you need these walls up to protect you?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” I asked, unable to believe she could even voice that question in light of my experience with marriage. “You can’t trust anyone implicitly, Mom. You have to keep your guard up… just in case.”

She stood, collecting our cups. “Then I’m sorry to say you have no business getting involved with anyone right now, not with that attitude. It wouldn’t be fair to you or them.”

Gabe

“What’s got you in such a mood tonight?” my brother Seb asked, kicking me under the table.

Now that all of my brothers were either married or soon-to-be married, we tried to get together for beers a couple of times a month, just to catch up, since lazy Sunday afternoons watching the game were few and far between now.

“I’m not in a mood,” I lied.

Seeing Kendra get picked up by her
date
while her parents came over to watch her daughter was responsible for my foul mood, but I wasn’t about to tell my brothers that. They all knew and liked Kendra, since she was friends with my sister-in-law Macy, and thought I was crazy not to ask her out.

“Liar,” Kane said, smirking. “I bet it’s got something to do with your next-door neighbor.”

So much for keeping it under wraps. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” I said, tipping my longneck back while Kane nursed a soda, since the police force had him on call.

“What’s his mood got to do with Kendra?” Seb asked, leaning forward.

I rolled my eyes, thinking my brothers had turned into a bunch of gossip-mongers since they found women. It used to be we could talk for hours about sports, cars, and work without the subject of the opposite sex ever coming up. Now that they’d all found their better half, they were conspiring to help me find someone, not that I’d ever indicated I was interested in getting tied down.

“She told Macy she’s got a hot date tonight,” Kane said, observing me with his tongue firmly planted in his cheek.

“Really?” Ryker asked, his gaze sliding to me. “What did I tell you, dumbass? I knew if you waited too long some other lucky bastard would snatch her up. Women like Kendra don’t stay single for long.”

My gut clenched as I imagined her out on a date with someone else. Even though we’d never so much as kissed, I’d thought about it so many times it felt as though we had. And I didn’t want to think about someone else kissing her, especially not the muscle-bound jerk in the shiny red Corvette who’d picked her up.

“And you’ll never guess who she’s going out with,” Kane said to Ryker. “Mike Jefferson.”

Ryker gaped, first at him, then at me. “Are you serious?” he asked Kane.

“Who the hell is that?” I demanded, trying to place the name.

“His kids are friends with mine,” Ryker offered, shaking his head as he reached for his beer. “He owns the gym Kane, Mac, and I go to.”

Since I worked out at home or at the fire station, I didn’t own a gym membership, but now that Ryker mentioned it, I remembered him telling me his friend Mike divorced a few years ago and had been interested in Mac during their trial separation.

“So what?” I asked, scowling. “This guy preys on vulnerable women who are separated from their husbands?”

“Nah,” Ryker said, smiling. “Mike’s not like that. I’ll admit we weren’t on the best of terms when he was sniffing around Mac, but he’s one of the good guys. I’ve known him for years. Kendra’s in good hands with him.”

That didn’t make me feel better. In fact, it made me feel worse. “He’s got to be your age,” I said, glaring at Ryker. “That would make him too old for Kendra.”

I was ten years younger than Ryker, and Kendra was a couple of years younger than me. What would a woman in her late twenties have in common with a guy in his early forties? Then I thought of Kane and Macy. Their age difference didn’t seem to be an issue.

“Maybe she has a thing for older guys,” Nex suggested, grinning.

My brothers loved messing with me, and since I had so few weaknesses, when they found one, they exploited it.

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” I said, hoping to put an end to this asinine conversation. “She’s still a married woman and Jason has no intention of signing those divorce papers any time soon.”

I tried to feign disinterest whenever Jason talked to me about Kendra, but I failed miserably, hanging on his every word, often firing questions at him about when, how, and why his marriage fell apart and what he planned to do to make up for his indiscretions.

If I thought of Kendra as someone else’s wife, I was able to resist the urge to act on the attraction that had been building between us ever since she moved in next door. But seeing her going out on a date tonight made me realize that maybe my brothers were right: I was an idiot for dragging my feet. If she was moving on, why couldn’t it be with me?

Because Jason is your friend and your employee
, my conscience reminded me. Unlike Mike Jefferson, who didn’t know Kendra’s ex and the father of her child from Adam.

“He can’t hold out forever,” Kane argued. “Besides, if you were really his friend, you’d convince him it would be in his best interest to let her go. She doesn’t love him anymore. Living in limbo like this isn’t good for any of them, especially their daughter.”

“It’s none of my business,” I said, raising my finger in a circular motion to the waitress, indicating the table was ready for another round of drinks. “He’ll divorce her when he’s ready.” I shrugged. “Or he won’t. Either way, it’s none of my concern.”

“So you don’t care that she’s out with Mike tonight?” Ryker asked, grinning.

“Why would I care? She’s free to do whatever she wants. If anyone should care, it’s Jason. He’s her husband.”

Nex frowned at me. “Why do you always do that? Remind us that she’s still married to that loser?”

“He’s not a loser,” I said, feeling compelled to defend my friend. “He made a stupid mistake. Does that mean he should lose his family because of it?”

“If Mac cheated on me, I think that would be a deal breaker for me,” Ryker said, tipping back the rest of his beer while the waitress returned with a tray of fresh drinks. “I don’t blame Kendra for dumping his sorry ass.”

“I don’t blame her either,” I said. “And if it was just the two of them, I’d encourage her to get that divorce any way she could. Hell, I’d probably have slept with her by now. But there’s a little girl in the mix, one who loves and needs her daddy.”

Ryker clapped me on the shoulder. “Buddy, I know you’re a stand-up guy and you try to do the right thing. And don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of you for always taking the high road, but you have to understand sometimes marriages just don’t work out and the best thing for the kids is for their parents to split.”

Since we’d come from a messed-up, broken home, I had a hard time buying my brother’s argument. “I’ve talked to Char,” I said, hearing the little girl’s words echoing in my ear. “She wants her family back. She misses her daddy and I know he misses her too.”

“If that were true, he would have granted the divorce and worked out a formal custody arrangement with Kendra,” Kane said, looking disgusted. “If you ask me, the dirt bag just doesn’t want to pay court-mandated child support and alimony. That’s why he’s dragging his heels.”

“I tried to tell Kendra she should get her lawyer to draft something,” Brody chimed in. “As it stands, he pays her what he can and takes their daughter whenever it’s convenient for him. That’s not right.”

I didn’t disagree, but again, it was none of my business. “I know you guys all like Kendra, but you don’t know Jason like I do. He’s not a bad guy.”

“Why do you keep defending him?” Kane asked. “Is it because if you convince yourself that Jason made one dumb mistake, that he really does deserve Kendra, you might have a hope in hell of fighting your attraction to her?”

Bull’s-eye.
“I’m just trying to stay out of it. They’re both my friends. If they can work things out, I’d like to see them try.”

“And the way you feel about her doesn’t matter?” Ryker asked, narrowing his eyes. “You’re willing to step aside and let some guy who’s already proven he doesn’t deserve her, have another shot?”

“You make it sound so cut and dried, man. It’s not.” I’d lost sleep trying to figure out what to do about Kendra and I kept coming to the same conclusion: she was another man’s wife. Even if she and Jason did get a divorce, it would still be awkward trying to build a relationship with my friend’s ex. “What about guy code? That’s got to count for something, right?”

“Any other time I’d agree with you,” Kane said. “But Jason didn’t treat her right. We all know that. I’d bet my last dollar that wasn’t the first time he cheated on her. It was just the first time he got caught.”

I feared my brother might be right, but since I couldn’t prove it, I wasn’t about to speculate.

***

Kendra

Lizzie was right about her boss being a great guy. Mike was charming, had a great sense of humor, and was clearly devoted to his kids. But there’d been no spark. Not when he reached for my hand to help me out of the car or when he’d rested his palm on the small of my back as we made our way into the restaurant.

“So, tell me about the guy who was crazy enough to let you go,” he said, leaning back in his chair after re-filling our wine glasses.

“Jason and I were young when we met,” I said, taking a sip of my favorite chardonnay. “In retrospect maybe we were too young.”

“You regret getting married?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Never. Char was a product of that union and she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

He smiled. “Yeah, I know what you mean. There’s no love quite like the love you feel for your kids, is there?”

It was nice to talk to someone who understood how hard it was to be a single parent, to be everything your child needed while trying to maintain your identity. “Definitely not. When she was born, I thought about all of the things I’d have to teach her. But I never considered all the things she’d have to teach me.”

“Such as?”

I brought the glass to my lips, concealing my grin. “Patience.”

“Amen to that,” he said, chuckling.

“She tries my patience just about every day, but I wouldn’t trade a single second of my time with her for anything.”

“Do you and her dad share custody?”

“We have sort of an informal arrangement.” I wasn’t interested in getting into the dirty details with a stranger, which was the reason I’d deflected his earlier question about Jason. “He’s a part of Char’s life and I am grateful for that. I know a lot of guys bail on their kids. At least Jason hasn’t done that.” Char would have been devastated had the end of marriage meant the end of her relationship with her father.

“How is she handling the separation?” Mike asked. “My kids were much older when my ex and I split. So it was easier to make them understand. Besides, they felt the tension, heard us arguing, so they knew things weren’t good.”

“It’s true what they say about kids being resilient. She’s handled it a lot better than I thought she would.”

I set aside the remainder of my wine, accepting the waiter’s offer of coffee instead, but declining dessert.

When we were alone again, I explained, “She has a great support system, so I’m sure that helps. She’s really close with my parents, and she loves the new neighborhood, especially Lizzie’s little girl. They became fast friends.”

Mike grinned. “She’s a doll. Both of Liz’s kids are great.”

“She said you let her bring them into the daycare at the gym sometimes, when her babysitter bails on her. That’s nice of you.”

He raised a broad shoulder. “It’s no big deal. I know how hard it can be trying to juggle work and kids. Especially without a partner. Liz’s great at what she does. I’m just happy to have her on board.”

It seemed to me Mike and Liz would be perfect for each other, so I had to ask, “You two are just friends?”

He laughed. “I have a policy against dating my employees. Let’s just say I had a bad experience once, learned that lesson the hard way.”

I could certainly understand the need for a policy like that, but he was missing out an opportunity to date a great woman. Assuming Lizzie was interested in him as more than a friend, which was unlikely since she’d been the one to suggest I go out with him.

“If you were to bend the rules…” I smiled, letting him fill in the blank. “Or if you and Lizzie had met elsewhere, would you have asked her out?”