Authors: Andrea Smith
“Quiet baby,” he breathed into my ear, his warm breath sending shivers through me once again.
His thrusts increased in rhythm. I could feel beads of perspiration on his smooth back. He was totally into this every bit as much as me. I felt the silver cross on the chain he wore around his neck brush back and forth against my breasts as his momentum picked up.
“Come on, baby,” he urged, his voice thick with lust. “Let’s do this together.”
That was all he needed to say. My climax unraveled around me as I met him thrust for thrust, trying my best not to cry out.
His mouth, once again, covered mine to silence me. He was having difficulty keeping silent as well. I heard several low moans escape from him as he pumped his orgasm into me. I contracted around him which drove him to groaning deeply as he finished emptying himself into me.
We lay intertwined together for several minutes afterwards. He lightly traced my damp skin with his long, lean fingers. He planted soft kisses all over my face and neck, whispering how sweet and perfect I felt to him.
All too soon, he raised himself up and out of me, leaving the bed.
“Where are you going?” I whispered loudly to him. He was gathering his clothing from the floor, getting dressed.
“I’ve got to go, babe. I shouldn’t even be here.”
“But we still have to talk,” I continued. “I need to know more about what’s going on with Jack.”
“Donovan’s your contact for that,” he replied, pulling his boots on. “Remember, Diamond, I
wasn’t
here. This
didn’t
happen.”
“Okay, okay,” I whispered back, rolling my eyes at him. “Can you at least tell me when ‘
this
’ is
not
going to happen
again?”
He came over and sat down next to me on the bed. I got a dimpled smile from him on that one. He pulled me to him. I was still naked.
He tilted my face up and kissed my lips softly several times.
“I don’t know. Keep your door unlocked each night though. I’ll visit when I can, okay?”
I nodded; a feeling of sadness was creeping back in.
“Hey,” he said softly, “take care of my son, baby.”
With that, he disappeared quietly into the darkness of the July night. I might’ve thought it had been an extremely lovely sex dream if I hadn’t spotted the nice, big hickey he’d left on my right boob.
Damn.
Well, at least it wouldn’t be noticeable to anyone else.
chapter 40
I didn’t see Slate for several days, even though I’d left the doors leading from my room to the terrace unlocked each night. I fretted about how he was. I had no clue what part he was playing in this investigation.
I was betting Donovan was his boss. I knew there was no way I could mention Slate to Donovan. He’d been extremely adamant that whatever contact we had was to remain just between us. There was no way in hell I’d put Slate in danger from the Outlaws or his boss. Still, I missed him constantly.
Lindsey had been moping around a bit the days that followed our July 4th cookout. I asked her if anything was wrong. She shrugged it off as simple boredom at her job with Banion.
“How’s Eric?” I asked, cautiously.
“Who?”
“Lindsey,” I said, shaking my head and feeling totally like a shit. “Did you two have a disagreement or something?”
“No, nothing like that. He went back to Purdue, I guess. Said he was taking a late summer course. I think he was simply bored with Banion Pharmaceuticals or maybe just bored with me.”
My heart went out to her; such a beautiful and talented girl she was. She would naturally think it had something to do with her. For whatever reason, Lindsey needed a wake-up call for her own self-esteem.
What the hell? She was just like me in that respect. I could blame Jack for that, but the truth was Jack only did what I’d allowed him to do. Guess it was time to blame ‘Mom.’ I certainly didn’t want Lindsey blaming me. I needed to give her the best advice that I could.
“Lindsey,” I said in my admonishing tone, “you need to give yourself some credit. If Eric said he needed to go back to school for a summer course, then why would you doubt his honesty? Besides, you yourself said it was a friendship.”
“I know, you’re right,” she admitted. “It isn’t really about Eric at all. It’s more about the fact that I can’t seem to maintain a relationship with a guy, at all. Is there something wrong with me?”
“No, not at all, sweetheart. You’re only nineteen, honey. Not even officially nineteen yet. What’s your hurry?”
She looked at me with a hangdog look, so unlike Lindsey.
“I know that I’m in no hurry to marry, but it’s just sort of like when I’m ready, I’d like to know that a good and decent man will be interested. So far, even my high school and freshman college relationships have been a failure. Mom, can I tell you something and you won’t judge me?”
Was I prepared to hear this? Was she going to tell me she’d let some jock screw her because she felt she owed it to him? Worse yet, was she going to tell me that Lance had gotten her ‘in trouble’ and she had taken care of it?
“Of course, sweetheart. I’m your mother, you can tell me anything. I love you unconditionally.”
“I’m still a…
virgin!”
she choked, tears filling her eyes as if it was a confession of shame.
My sweet baby girl.
“Oh, honey,” I said, giving her a hug. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. It simply means that you’ve used good judgment and are saving yourself for the right man.”
“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve been able to do simple math since first grade. I mean, I know that you and Daddy were… . . . intimate when you were way younger than me. I know that you were pregnant when you married. I mean, how did you know that he was the right man?” She was looking at me expectantly. Wanting an answer that just didn’t exist.
“Honey, I’m going to be honest with you because you’re a woman now, and you deserve to be treated like one. You’re right. I was young and I felt ‘pressured’ to have sex way earlier than I should have. Luckily, it worked out for me. I had the most wonderful child anyone could ever have wanted. The truth is, your father and I have had our share of differences.”
“I can see that, Mom. I can see that you aren’t really close at all. I mean what’s the deal with separate bedrooms? I don’t for one minute think it’s because of your pregnancy. Then there’s…. .”
She suddenly stopped talking. She was looking extremely uncomfortable with where the topic of conversation was headed.
“There’s what, Lindsey?”
“It’s just that Daddy seems inordinately interested in his assistant, Susan. I’ve noticed it at work. It’s really starting to piss me off. I think you should call him out on it.”
Lindsey loved her father regardless of his indiscretions. Hopefully, she would continue to love me the same way once she learned of mine. Now wasn’t the best time to find out though.
“Lindsey, it’s complicated. Please trust that I’ll do the right thing?”
“I think there’s much more to this, Mom. If you truly believe that I’m an adult - a woman - then why can’t you be upfront with me about it?”
I was torn as to how to answer my daughter. She was old enough to handle the truth, most of it anyway, yet she loved her father. I didn’t want her feeling pressured to take sides. She’d opened the door for this, perhaps it was an opportunity.
“Okay, Lindsey, if you want the truth, you shall have it. I only hope you can handle it.”
She nodded, taking a seat at the kitchen table. I took a deep breath, opting to just spit it out, short and simple.
“Your father and I don’t love each other. We probably never have. We both love you very much and always will. I’m pregnant with another man’s child.”
There it was…the Reader’s Digest version. She would either continue to love me, or she would hate me forever. It needed to be said, though.
I watched Lindsey’s face as she digested the news. I saw no shock or disbelief at all. Had she always suspected? She reached across the table and took my hand in hers.
“Oh Mom,” she said softly, “does Daddy know about the baby not being his?”
I nodded, tears welling up in my eyes. “I suppose you think I’m the worst kind of mother,” I said, half-sobbing.
“No,” she said softly, giving me a hug. “How could I possibly think that about you? All of these years, the years when I became aware of things between you and Daddy, I wondered how you had hung in there for so long.”
“What do you mean?”
“I wasn’t blind, Mom. I had friends that I spent time with, going to sleepovers and camping trips with their families during the summers. I saw the way their parents interacted with each other. It was way different than the way you and Daddy interacted. I never actually saw you laugh together, or hold hands, or even kiss. I don’t mean to hurt you Mom, but I see Daddy laugh with Susan. They talk all the time, have lunch together. They’ve invited me, but I politely decline.”
“Oh, honey, I’m not hurt that you’ve told me that at all. I figured as much. In your father’s defense, he was up against my father when I found out I was pregnant. He was pressured into the marriage. He wasn’t pressured into loving you, though. Please know that.”
“I do know that, Mom. I know that both of you love me and have always put me first. That’s why I have no problem at all with you putting yourself first for a while. I know how Granddaddy can be. He’s extremely set in his ways and domineering. I have one other question for you, though.”
“Go ahead,” I replied, nodding. I mean how bad could this be? The worst part was over.
“Do you love the father of the baby?”
How can I explain this to her?
She didn’t ask for an explanation, though. She asked a simple question.
“Yes, Lindsey. I love him.”
“Does he love you, Mom?”
I didn’t have to think long or hard about that question. Slate had never given me any reason to believe that he loved me, though I knew he cared about me. Those were two different things altogether.
“I don’t know. I truly don’t know.”
chapter 41
It was two days before my birthday. I was lying on my back with my feet up in the stirrups waiting for Dr. Bailey to come into the examination room.
I had the paper sheet across my knees, offering a small bit of privacy to protect what dignity I still possessed. I’d learned quickly when I was pregnant with Lindsey, that modesty goes out the window when it’s all said and done.
I thought about the discussion that Lindsey and I had the previous day. I was relieved to finally get it out there. She hadn’t pressed me for any further info on the baby’s father. I wasn’t ready to divulge all of that anyway.
I did ask that she not let her father know that I’d shared this with her. I explained it was a matter of pride for him. She understood. The truth was, I couldn’t tip Jack off that the marriage was over. Though I hadn’t specifically told Lindsey that, she knew it was inevitable, given the circumstances. She assured me that she would keep everything confidential for as long as necessary.
The nurse had been in and taken all of my vitals. Everything looked fine. I looked up at the ceiling and giggled at the sticker that had been placed near the light fixture. It read, “Smile - your doctor is watching you.”
Just then, I heard a bit of a commotion out in the hallway.
“Sir, excuse me, you can’t go in there,” the nurse’s voice called out.
What the…?
“You said exam room three, right?”
Oh dear God. That’s Slate’s voice . . .
“Are you Mr. Dennison, sir?”
“No,” he said with a smirk, “I’m the father of the baby.”
My cheeks were flushed a rosy pink by the time the door opened and Slate sauntered in, as if he had every right to invade my privacy. He shut the door behind him, not bothering to notice that he’d shut it in the nurse’s face.
“Nice position you’re in babe,” he said. “Wonder if we can buy one of these tables for your room.”
“What the hell?”
The nurse pushed through the door just then, extremely upset.