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Authors: Ryan Matthews

BOOK: Future Queens of England
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Hugh, Uwe, Gareth and the others, unable to contain themselves any longer, ran towards the stage.  Tony sat alone, left behind.  He shrugged and his attention turned to his drink.  He picked up his Dirty White Mother and silently took a sip.  He held the liquid in his mouth for a moment and let the alcohol burn the underside of his tongue before swallowing.  He forced himself to focus on the stage, to focus on his future.

 

Chapter
Six

 

After the party was over the group walked back towards their dormitory tired but with their spirits still high and the buzz of excitement still lingering.  The whole school united, sharing the same feelings, exhilarated about their future.  As they ascended the large staircase they took care to step over the bodies of a few students worse for wear who couldn’t face the seemingly long trek back up the foreboding steps to their rooms.  Everywhere seemed to echo with the laughter and slurred singing of the final revellers as they reluctantly called it a night.  Tony was in tow, as usual, and was unusually quiet.  As they reached the double doors which led to their living quarters Hugh held the door open in a chivalrous fashion.

“After you,” he slurred comically.

“Why, thank you Sir,” Uwe slurred back to Hugh.

“Come on, everyone in,” directed Hugh.

They stumbled past Hugh almost falling into the room, more through exhaustion than from alcohol.   Their clothes damp with perspiration.  Tony stood before the threshold and hesitated.

“You too Tony.  Time for bed,” Hugh ordered.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay up a bit longer,” Tony said, “the night’s still young.”

Hugh stifled a yawn, “Come on Tony, we’ve got a busy day tomorrow.”

Tony faltered, “I might go back down and get some fresh air.”

“Oh I get it,” Hugh said slowly having worked out the reason for Tony’s reticence.  “You’ll be a lot safer in here than down there by yourself,” he assured.

Tony nodded, “Yes, I suppose so,” and with that he gingerly entered the room.

Bruce looked up as Hugh and Tony walked in.

“What was all that about then eh?” Bruce enquired.

“Keep your nose out of it Bruce,” Tony snapped.

“Ooh, no need to be so rude,” replied Bruce camply.

Tony gave Bruce the finger.

“Promises, promises,” Bruce said suggestively.

Just then Uwe shouted from the bathroom, “Hey, look what I’ve found!”

Gareth, Hugh, Keenan and Bruce all ran to the bathroom to see.  There laid out blind drunk in the bath tub was Marc. 

“I have just the cure for this,” Uwe said.  He reached over and turned the temperature control on the shower as far anti-clockwise as it would go, then he twisted the pressure control dial as far as it would go in the other direction.  A jet of ice cold water erupted from the shower head and blasted Marc’s head and body. 

“Oh ducky, you are cruel,” laughed Hugh.

Marc rose from the bath tub, scrambling to escape but losing purchase on the sides of the bath several times and sliding back to his original position.  The screams of laughter bounced off the tiled walls as Marc extricated himself from the bath and the torrent of freezing cold water.

“Here,” said Gareth handing Marc a towel, “dry yourself off.”

Marc snatched the towel and dried his face and hair.  He wandered back into the main room looking like a drowned rat.

“Now,” announced Uwe, “I must get ready for bed.  Please give me some privacy.”

They vacated the bathroom as instructed, returning to their respective beds and left Uwe to enjoy his privacy.  The room was filled with activity as drawers and wardrobes were opened and closed, hangers were jangled and curtains were drawn.

Tony stared at his bed and thought deeply about how he was going to get surreptitiously undressed with them all in the room with him.  As he pondered this conundrum he pulled back the duvet on his bed to reveal something drawn on the sheet that protected his mattress. 

“Who the bloody hell did this?” shouted Tony angrily.

They all stopped what they were doing and hurried over to Tony’s bed to see what the fuss was about. 

“I said who the hell drew this?” Tony demanded irately his voice growing more furious by the second.

They all studied the drawing on Tony’s bed, it appeared to be cartoon ghost drawn with a thick black marker pen onto the bed sheet.  It was almost comical in appearance, it had a Klu Klux Klan hood but with a wilted point that bent twice at ninety degrees, once at the top of its head and again at its peak.  A thick v-shaped mono-brow sat above its laughing eyes and a sinister smile sat in the far corner of its face. 

Puzzled, Hugh asked, “What do you think it means?”

“I think it means that someone is going to get a good kicking if they think that they can take the piss out of me,” replied Tony angrily.

“Now try and relax Tony,” Hugh said softly and calmly, “if you actually hit anyone I imagine that you’ll breach the terms in which you are here.”

Tony’s face was filled with rage, “I don’t give a shit!”

“Well, you might feel differently about that in the morning,” Gareth said trying to rationalise things. 

“No one screws with me and gets away with it Gareth,” threatened Tony.

“Look Tony, I don’t think it was a personal attack,” reasoned Hugh.

Tony started to calm a little, “Yeah, maybe.  But what am I gonna do about it?”

“If I were you I’d sleep on it,” chortled Keenan.

The others fought to stifle their laughter.

“Yeah, you’re a funny guy Keenan,” Tony said bitterly.

“Sorry Tony,” Keenan said, “I couldn’t resist.  What’s it supposed to be anyway?”

“How am I supposed to know?  It’s a ghost I suppose,” Tony said staring at the crude drawing.

“Or a ghoul,” said Hugh, “I hope you don’t get grabbed by the ghoulies in the dead of night Tony.”

Nobody laughed and Hugh blushed accordingly with embarrassment.

“Actually, it’s a phantom,” stated Uwe.

The group stopped staring at the bed sheet and moved the gaze to Uwe.

Uwe continued, “Technically a ghost is the soul of a dead person and this does not appear to represent a human.  A ghoul is an oriental demon that robs graves and this childlike figure bears no Eastern traits,” he explained authoritatively.  “A phantom, on the other hand, is a visible spirit and that, however badly drawn, meets this criteria.”  

“I’ll be sure to remember that Uwe,” Tony sarcastically replied.

“Ah yes Uwe, that’s axiomatic,” Hugh said trying hard to sound intelligent.  He gritted his teeth and waited for someone to correct him, when no one did he smiled.

Uwe ignored Hugh and continued, “Though since none of these entities actually exist it is all irrelevant,” he went on.  “If you want a real explanation of what this is, then it’s actually a very stupid drawing.  Nothing more, nothing less.”

“So you don’t believe in ghosts, phantoms or ghouls then Uwe?” asked Hugh appearing to seek some sort of reassurance.


After your death you will be what you were before your birth,” Uwe stated matter-of-factly.

“And what’s that?” Hugh enquired tentatively.

“Absolutely nothing,” he stated coldly.

“So you don’t believe in the afterlife then Uwe,” Keenan questioned.

Uwe sneered at Keenan, “Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”

They all pondered this thoughtfully for a moment until Tony broke the silence with a raucous outburst.

“I’ve seen a few fairies here tonight though,” shouted Tony.  “In fact, I’m looking at a bunch of them right now.”  He reaffirmed his observation by pointing at them all individually, much to their chagrin.

“Will you shut the hell up,” Marc shouted from his bed, “some of us are trying to sleep!”  He turned over and pulled his pillow onto his head to drown out the noise and groaned.

“Touchy bastard,” Tony muttered still laughing to himself, “it’s not my fault that you can’t handle your alcohol, sunshine.”

Gareth nudged Hugh and whispered, “Hey, at least it took Tony’s mind off of the phantom.”

Hugh nodded and stretched, “Right.  Time for beddy bye boo now I think.”

“Aye, we’ve got a big day tomorrow,” added Keenan.

Tony scanned the room at regular intervals making a mental note of where everyone was and what they were doing.  Uwe was out of the bathroom now and undressing and everyone seemed preoccupied with preparing themselves for bed.  Giles sauntered into the bathroom with his bag of toiletries.  Tony quickly looked around the room again, then picked up his duvet and shook it out until it laid flat across the bed.  He needed to stall for a few more minutes and he crouched down to the floor.  After a few minutes Giles exited the bathroom and Gareth wandered in.  Squatting Tony reached into his bag and fumbled about trying to buy himself a few precious seconds without arousing suspicion.  Whilst his hands were in his bag they came across a magazine.  He pulled it out of the bag,
Max Power Motors
, it read and he placed it on his bedside table.  He reached in to his bag again, then out of the corner of his eye he saw Gareth wander out of the bathroom towards his bed.  He quickly lifted his left foot and removed his shoe followed by his sock.  He threw them onto the floor, he then repeated this for his right foot.  Tony now stood bare foot but fully clothed from the ankles up waiting for the right moment.  Across the room Gareth started to unbutton his shirt, this was it, this was the moment he was waiting for.  Tony squeezed his fists and cracked his knuckles and took hold of the bottom of his t-shirt.  Gareth had finished unbuttoning his shirt and started to remove it, around the room all attention turned to Gareth; even the pillow over Marc’s head appeared to move slightly and Tony seized his moment.  Quick as a flash he whipped off his t-shirt and discarded it on the floor, next he hastily undid the button on his jeans and unzipped his flies; Gareth was now taking his jeans off too.  Tony pulled his jeans down to his shins then he lifted his left leg to pull it out of the trouser leg, he then repeated action quickly for his right leg.  This went unnoticed since all attention was fixed on Gareth as he disrobed.  Tony’s jeans were around his ankles now and he stamped frantically trying to remove his feet from their denim shackles.  He hoisted his left leg up which caused him to lose his balance and he fell backwards onto the floor with a bump.  Everyone in the room turned to see what had caused the commotion and saw Tony scrambling on hands and knees towards his bed in his pants with a pair of inside out jeans following close behind.  Leaping into bed Tony pulled the duvet over him covering his body, then he quickly freed his right leg and kicked the jeans onto the floor near the base of his bed sweating slightly.  Everyone in the room stared at Tony.

“Shy are we Tony?” chirped Keenan.

“I’m trying not to give you bastards any credit in your wank bank, that’s all,” countered Tony defensively.  “And turn the main bloody lights out in here will you.  It’s like Blackpool illuminations.”  He leant over and switched his bed side light on. 

Giles walked over to the main light switch and turned it off, the room was now lit by a few bed side lamps.  Tony picked up his car magazine and opened it, he raised it slightly trying to use it as a protective shield.  He found that he couldn’t read the magazine in his current position so he placed it back on the bed side table.  Holding the duvet with one hand to keep his chest covered he fished clumsily with his other hand for the pillow.  He found it and hoisted it up behind him, then raising himself slightly in the bed he leant his back against the pillow and headboard.  Still holding the duvet up near his chin he took his magazine and continued to read it. 

One by one the others all completed their nightly routines, got undressed and into bed and switched off their bed side lamps.  Tony, however, stayed ever vigilant with one eye on his magazine and the other eye on the rest of the room, his was the last light to remain on. 

After a minute or two of not being fully able to concentrate on his magazine he found himself starting to relax a little.  He found an interesting article and gave it his full attention, he turned the page and the edge scraped across the duvet making a brief faint scuffing sound.  From across the room Uwe huffed and turned over.  Tony’s eyes left the page for a moment and watched the movement from Uwe’s bed.  Uwe huffed audibly again and shuffled in his bed.  Tony turned to the next page and Uwe opened his eyes wide in an exaggerated manner.

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