Full Steam Ahead (Sea Swept #1) (19 page)

“I was in the mood for violet.” Then she goes quiet, her gaze lost somewhere along the horizon. The only sounds I hear are the soothing waves and the intermittent shouts from the people playing volleyball down the beach.
 

I finally clear my throat.
 
“Everything okay, Yas? Are you … mad at me or something?”

“Sort of. I’ve had some stuff I’ve been trying to talk to you about, but you’ve been off with Jace so much the last few days, I feel like I’ve barely seen you.”
 

I almost retort that she seemed perfectly content with Austin, but Yasmin’s expression looks so serious that I just put a hand on her shoulder. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be so MIA. The thing with Jace sort of came out of nowhere. What did you want to talk about?”

Yasmin hesitates, then says, “Want to grab a mimosa or something?”

“Sure. And I’m buying today,” I say. I can’t really afford it, but I need to make things up to Yasmin.
 

“Let’s go to the bar at the other end of the beach,” Yasmin says. “None of the Baxter crew are there.”

We start walking down the shore. This must be serious, if Yasmin doesn’t want our friends overhearing.

“I’ve been thinking about something,” she says. “Something I thought I’d get your opinion on.”
 

“What is it?”
 

She toys with the edge of her yellow beach wrap. “I think I might defer grad school for a while.”

“Really?” I stop short on the sand. Ever since I met her, her future plans have been set in stone: after Baxter, she’ll get her PhD as fast as possible and become Dr. Alejo, clinical psychologist. “Why?”
 

“Because of everything that happened with … Sofia.” Her voice catches when she says her late sister’s name, and her brown eyes fill as she goes on. “I’m still so messed up about it. How am I supposed to help my patients deal with their problems when I can’t even help myself?”

I don’t have an easy answer for that. “Maybe by helping them heal, you can heal your own grief too?” I wince, because I sound like a Lifetime movie. I wish I could take Yasmin’s pain away. She and her sister had a deep bond, and watching it snap with Sofia’s passing was painful to watch even from the sidelines.
 

“I don’t know anything anymore,” Yasmin murmurs. “I miss her so much.” Her hands turn into fists, and she presses them against her eyes. I throw my arms around her

“Of course, you do. It’s only been six months,” I murmur. I have no idea what to say to make things better. “I’m so sorry, Yas.” I’m almost in tears too when Yasmin gives me a quick squeeze and straightens.

“Now I really need that mimosa,” she says, drying her eyes with a tanned hand. She gives me a watery smile. I know she doesn’t want to break down on the beach with people watching, so I walk with her towards the bar. This one has big painted wood fish swimming among the décor.

“If you end up deferring, what do you think you’ll do?” I ask as we grab stools at one corner of the 4-sided bar. Yasmin shrugs.

“Not sure yet. Find something on the West Coast, maybe.”
 

“So far from home?”

“Exactly.”

Yasmin tries to flag down the bartender, but he’s distracted by the hospitality crew girl, Elise, who stalks in with a scowl and slaps her iPad down onto the counter.

“I need seven G-and-T’s, top shelf. And please hurry, Jacob, because Mrs. Neville is in the worst mood today.”

“Isn’t she always? Coming right up.”

“Thanks.” Then Elise notices me and Yasmin.
 

“Everything okay?” I ask.
 

“Everything’s great,” she says, and smiles, though it doesn’t reach her eyes. “You girls having a fun time?” She’s wearing a beachy sundress that nevertheless looks professional, and wears her shiny gold nametag, so she must be on shift.
 

“We’re grabbing some mimosas,” Yasmin says. I introduce her to Elise, and Elise glances at Jacob the bartender, who’s adding limes to six ice-filled glasses.

“Two mimosas for these ladies, on the house, when you get a minute,” she says.

“You don’t have to do that,” I say, embarrassed because Elise must have remembered all that stuff I told her about being broke.
 

“I like treating people who don’t think the world revolves around them and their snotty trust fund teenagers,” she says, waving off my protest.

Jacob the bartender laughs, then pours a shot of something amber. He pushes it towards Elise.

“You need this,” he says. Elise makes a face, but throws back the shot.

“By the way, Georgia, I saw you and Jace earlier,” she says, voice taking on a light teasing tone. “I thought you said you guys weren’t dating.”
 

I feel myself flush. “Circumstances might’ve changed,” I say with a grin.
 

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” Yasmin says to Elise. “How did you get your job on the ship?”
 

“I guess I sort of fell into it. My friend’s aunt works as a headhunter for the Terra Azul cruise line, and …” Elise’s mouth twists. “All of my other options sort of fell through, so I figured why not?” One of her blonde brows quirks up. “Are you interested?”

“Maybe,” Yasmin says. “Is it fun?”

“Some days more than others. A lot depends on your contract and what sort of job you get.”
 

They chat as Jacob finishes making the gin and tonics, but my mind starts to wander. Out in the surf, I spot Jace swimming amongst the waves, his arms pin-wheeling with muscular grace. I watch him happily until he swims the other way up the beach and out of view. I can’t wait to get back to him by those palm trees.

I tune back into the conversation as Yasmin slips her phone from her wrap dress to plug in Elise’s email address so they can chat more about cruise jobs later. Then Elise gives us a wave and heads off with her iPad and a platter full of drinks.
 

When she’s gone and we’ve thanked Jacob for our mimosas, I turn to Yasmin and say, “I’m really sorry that I didn’t realize you were having such a hard time last semester.”
 

Yasmin sips the fizzy drink and crosses one slim muscled leg over the other. “You’ve been having your own hard times, sweetie. And I’ve been fine, as long as I didn’t stop too long.” Suddenly her frantic work pace this year, with so many clubs and Kappa charity events, make more sense. Guilt slides through me for not noticing until now that it wasn’t an attempt to shine up her grad-school application. “But now I’m not sure what I want to do,” she continues. “My sister thought I’d make a great photographer.”

“Yeah?” Yasmin’s the go-to person in the sorority for fabulous photos for our house and materials during Rush Week and such, but … “You never seemed to want to make it a career before.”

“That’s because photography was Sofia’s thing, and because she was sick I let her ‘have’ it, you know? But toward the end … You know how she loved doing those photo shoots?”

“Yeah.” I met Sofia a few times, over breaks. She wasn’t ever in good enough health to take college classes, but she was a self-taught photographer who had learned to take magazine-ready photos of simple items. She had the lights and backdrop and everything. She could make household stuff like a clock or a stapler look like art. “She was talented.”

Yasmin bites her lip, and nods. “Well, at the end, when she got too tired to do her photo shoots, she started asking me to help, to do them while she supervised. And she seemed to think I was really good. She even made me promise to take that photography class I signed up for next semester, because she said it would make her feel better to know that after she’s gone, I’m still taking pictures for her.”

I wish I hadn’t been so wrapped up in my own problems that I didn’t see hers. I wish I could be a better friend from this point on, help her figure out what to do next, but if I have to drop out when we get back, we won’t see each other much. Still, there’s email, and video chat. I vow to remember to be supportive no matter what crap I am dealing with.

Yasmin glances at her phone. I want to ask her the time, because it has to be getting close to when I’m supposed to meet Jace, but I don’t say anything. I’m here for as long as Yasmin needs me, and I’m pretty sure Jace will understand. I can make it up to him very enthusiastically later.

“Anyway, thanks for listening. I guess I’d bottled this stuff up during the semester so I could function, but I thought we’d have more time to chat on our vacation.” She bumps my shoulder with hers and winks. “And I didn’t think I’d have to compete with Jace for your attention.”

“This from the girl who sexiled Parker?” I tease back.
 

Yasmin grins, then glances at her phone again.

“So don’t you have a hookup to get to?” At my surprise, Yasmin gives me a knowing look. “I totally heard you tell Jace you’d meet him behind those palm trees.” Now I’m mortified, and it must show on my face, because Yasmin laughs. “Get out of here—I want to grab a workout anyway. But later tonight I want to hear how it’s going. Got it?”

 
“You’re the best,” I say. With a last hug, I abandon my empty glass and traipse off towards the trees.
 

Jace. A tingle runs up and down my spine just thinking about him. He’s turned my life inside out, in the best way possible. He’s made me think that I can handle whatever life throws my way, without destroying myself like I nearly did. Amazingly, he has given me hope when I had all but given up on it.

My happiness dims for a split-second, because I already know it’s going to suck like crazy once our trip ends. Jace might be into me now, but I can’t drag him down once we get home. He has plans for after college, and bright dreams that I don’t figure into. I won’t let my problems get in the way of what he has worked so hard to achieve.
 

Don’t focus on that now
, I tell myself. We still have the rest of the trip, and this might be my last chance at happiness for a while. I won’t bog it down with dread of the future. I’m going to live in the moment, savor every second that I have with Jace.
 

Hurrying in my sequined flip-flops, I jog down the beach and head into the shade, hoping to beat Jace so I can strike a sultry pose. When I round the stand of palm trees, their trunks so close together that they shield the beach from view, I find that Jace has already arrived at our hiding spot. He’s the one who has struck the sexy stance, leaning back against the widest tree with his arms crossed against his bare chest. He wears a brooding expression, and something inside me turns over in anticipation. I can’t wait for his hands to be on me, can’t wait for his eyes to devour me whole.
 

“Sorry about the wait,” I say with a cocky grin. “I’ll try and make it up to you.”

“Stop,” Jace says, and puts up a hand. “We have to talk.”

My brain catches up to me, and I realize he wasn’t striking a sexy pose—he’s angry. His shoulders are tense, and there’s a line to his brow that makes my stomach clench.

“Talk about what?” I ask.
 

“I bumped into Hunter. He seems to think there’s something big you haven’t told me.” Jace’s gaze flickers over me, his expression guarded. “Is there?”
 

I don’t know what to say, so I only stand there, wide-eyed.

“Look, Georgia, I get it,” Jace says. “We’re still new and everything. But you told me that Hunter dumped you over the money, and he said that isn’t the case. So I’m asking you straight up: what happened?”

I go cold all over. Oh God, I’m going to have to tell him. And then Jace will leave me, like Hunter did.
 

“So there is something,” Jace says softly, studying me. “What is it, Georgie?”

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. All I can think about is how Jace looked when he talked about his dad earlier. His father had messed up big time, and even though he might have changed, cleaned up his act, Jace wants nothing to do with him.
 

He’s a criminal,
Jace had said.
I’ll never trust him
.

If I tell Jace what I did two years ago, how
I’m
a criminal, I’ll lose him. I won’t lie to him or insult him by pretending that it’s nothing, but I find I can’t get the words out of my mouth.

“I can’t tell you,” I whisper instead.

Jace’s expression hardens, closes. “After everything
I
told
you
?” His voice is quiet, but in it I hear a world of hurt and disappointment. Tears press hot against the backs of my eyes.

“Jace, please,” I start, but he shakes his head.

“I told you stuff I’ve never told
anyone
. And you can’t trust me with the truth about why you and Hunter broke up?”

“That isn’t fair,” I say weakly. “He and I were together for a year and a half, and—“

“What
we’ve
had together in three days is more than what you ever had with him,” Jace says fiercely, his eyes blazing emerald green. “You know that as much as I do.”
 

I do know it. I won’t deny it. “I just …” But there’s no way to finish this sentence that doesn’t cause Jace to walk away,

“You know, I thought we really had something.” His tone is hard, and every word cuts me like a blade. “I’ve trusted you completely, but I guess you don’t feel the same way at all.”
 

I’m reeling, trying to make sense of his words. This is all happening so fast.
 

“What are you saying?” I ask hoarsely. “That we’re over?”

“That’s up to you, Georgia.” We stare at each other, and he’s willing me with those green eyes to confide in him. If I don’t, he’ll walk away. But … I can’t. I managed to survive seeing Hunter’s affection for me turn to disgust, but watching that happen with Jace would kill me.

“I’m sorry,” I choke out.

“So am I,” Jace mutters, and strides off.

Chapter 20

Georgia

I stumble back to the beach.

“Georgia!” Chloe bounces over, not seeming to notice how I’ve shattered into a million pieces. “We need another person for volleyball. Come on!” She bounces away, but I ignore her waves and head for the boarding ramp to the boat.