Authors: Jackie Nacht
Tags: #GLBT, #Gay, #Paranormal, #erotic Romance, #Shapeshifter
“What’s your name?” Brendan whispered.
The feral tilted his head as if he heard but didn’t recognize the words.
Sighing, Brendan glanced down at the cold stone floor.
Not knowing what was going on, he laid on the cold surface that seemed to be his only companion. He was still so damn weak from his shift at the full moon a couple days ago and grateful for the reprieve of the stone floor, even if the floor itself was unmerciful against the last of his bruises.
Feeling a presence behind him, Brendan glanced over his shoulder, at a loss. “Colin?” Brendan whispered.
Colin was one of his Omega friends at the compound and had recently found his mate, Sloan.
When Colin reached to take his hand, the feral began to growl, a vibration that filled his whole body. He wasn’t sure why, but it bothered Brendan greatly that the feral was upset. All he wanted to do at the moment was calm the man.
“Don’t, Colin. He doesn’t like it.” Brendan stared back at the feral as Colin put his hands up.
The feral stopped growling immediately but approached the bars to pace. Back and forth, eyeing Brendan's friends who stood behind him like he was just waiting for them to come near him.
Sloan, Colin’s mate and an Alpha, stepped closer but didn’t touch, just squatted next to him, elbows on his thighs as he assessed the feral. “Brendan, we need to talk to you. Why don’t you come to breakfast with us? You need the nutrition post-shift.”
“I don’t want to leave him.” Brendan was at a loss as to what was going on. He didn’t know this guy, but he didn’t want to leave him after all the hell he had just gone through. A deep pain hit Brendan at simply thinking of walking away from him. He rubbed his chest, trying to appease the ache. It didn’t help.
“We need to talk to you. It’s important, Brendan. Let us just have a few minutes of your time.” Colin sat next to him but didn’t touch him.
“Please, Brendan.” His best friend, Dalton, came and sat with them. Another Omega, Dalton had been by his side for the last couple of days while Brendan healed from his first full moon. In fact, this was his first time getting out of bed since his change. Glancing down, he could see his arms were trembling and unsteady, a side effect of his shift. Mostly, he had healed but was still having a hard time holding objects and getting his brain and body to work together.
“I can’t,” Brendan choked out.
The group silently left, and Brendan stayed on the ground in front of the cell. He couldn’t leave the feral. The stranger needed him, so he stayed, feeling the cold stone touch his cheek as he eyed the man in the cell.
Brendan wasn’t even sure how long he laid there, his post-shifting body protesting the hard surface. His friends brought him food, which he touched little of it. The sandwich still sat on a plate next to him, so he sat up, grabbed the food and slipped it through the bars. He might have lost his appetite, but the feral kept eyeing the sandwich.
The feral eyed him for a moment, paced, eyed him again then paced some more before he struck and ripped the sandwich out of his hands, taking a huge mouthful, squatting in the corner.
Brendan held his injured hand to his chest, the scratch marks from the feral's long nails stinging.
“Don’t put your hand through the bars, Brendan. He’s not in control and could do some serious damage.” Lukas came up to him.
“He’s hungry.” Brendan stared at the guard’s cattle prods, praying that he wouldn’t use it on the feral. Lukas was a fair guard and cared for all the ones he guarded over, but Brendan still didn’t want him hurting the feral. It was Brendan’s damn fault he put his hand through the bars.
“We have a guard preparing a meal for him right now. We’ll take good care of him, Brendan. You don’t need to be worrying.” Lukas walked down the hall, surveying all the residents of the hallway.
Brendan blew his bangs out his eyes. He knew they would feed him, but he wanted to take care of the feral.
Lunch came then dinner and his friends would no longer take no for an answer. He might be small, but Brendan hated it when people tried to coddle him. He might not be the smartest Omega or even strongest, but he had an inner strength, dammit. Too bad no one else saw it.
His friends returned, and the feral approached the bars, lip curling and gripping the bars with white knuckles.
Could he rip the door off?
Brendan sized him up…yeah, he sure had the capability.
Colin sighed next to him. “Look, I know you don’t want to leave him. You know why? He’s your mate, Brendan. Please, let’s go talk to Elder Lewis and see what we can do for you and for him.”
Dalton stepped up next to him. “We’ll be gone for an hour. Let’s just get some answers for you.”
Brendan stood shakily, not wanting to leave the feral.
Oren, another one of his Omega friends, smiled encouragingly at him. Oren was usually the jokester in the group, but right then, it seemed he was just attempting to get Brendan to put one foot in front of the other.
As Brendan walked away, he heard the feral lose it again, and Brendan made an attempt to go back to him but not before Knox, another one of his friends and an Alpha, grabbed him and pulled him away.
“No! No!” Brendan fought like crazy. It was no use; he was too small against the large Alpha.
“We're just going to get some answers, Brendan. Calm down.” Knox tried to reason with him and got a hold of his arms to keep him from swinging.
Hearing the feral snarling, Brendan was beyond reason. He didn’t stop putting up a fight until they were in front of the Elder Lewis's office, which had a whole team of guards inside.
Rayce was in the corner of the office, shirt off and ribs taped. Colin’s brother Peyton, who had been walking with them, ran over to check on him.
“What the…” Peyton reached for Rayce, but the guard pulled back.
“I’m fine. Go with your brother.” Rayce was firm, and by the look on Peyton’s face, Brendan thought he may have taken the words hard.
Peyton was young, at just nineteen, and the guard had treated him as such in front of a crowd of people. For someone who wouldn’t let anyone near Peyton before the last full moon, this was a huge switch for Rayce.
What had changed?
Peyton glared at the guard before walking over to stand next to Colin, who didn’t look pleased at the tone Rayce had used with his brother.
“Elder Lewis?” Brendan stepped forward, and all eyes turned toward him.
Elder Lewis eyed him with sympathy. “Sit, Brendan. We need to talk. We can debrief more later and go over the changes taking place, gentlemen. Keep questioning the other residents and see if anyone can identify him.”
The guards walked out, leaving Brendan and his friends alone with Elder Lewis.
Brendan began to shake as he sat. He didn’t want to be there; he wanted to be with the feral.
“Malach informed me of the incidents that happened when the feral came into the compound this morning and your reaction to him, Brendan.” Elder Lewis stood before the large glass window, his arms crossed.
Brendan nodded. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say, and Elder Lewis had always intimidated him to the point that he was constantly tongue-tied around the man. Pretty much all the Elders, the guards and the alphas.
Hell, thinking of the list, freakin' everyone intimidates me. Terrific.
“You know what this means?” Elder Lewis's eyes seemed to see his inner thoughts.
Brendan cleared his throat. “Colin thinks he’s my mate, sir.” Brendan would have given anything for his voice to be strong and sure at that moment, but it failed him miserably, coming out shaky at best.
“Malach and I think that as well. That’s why your emotions are already involved even if you don’t know the feral yet. You two are bonded, and the feral needs you now. You may not know him, but your mating instinct is to care for him. What do you know about ferals?” Elder Lewis walked around his desk and sat in the large leather chair next to Brendan.
“Not much, sir. Just that…they’re wild,” Brendan muttered.
“I’m going to be perfectly honest with you. You need to know the facts. Can you handle that?”
“Yes,” Brendan croaked.
“A feral is a shifter that didn’t handle their first shift well. In fact, it went terribly wrong. Somehow, their mind broke during the shift and sanity was lost. We’ve have a few here, but there are more at other compounds. You know your shift is painful, and there are some wolves out there that mentally break during their first shift. It’s not as common as it used to be. We have classes, prepping and you have tools to help you before and after, but sometimes, that isn’t enough. Currently, we have no information on the feral that arrived today. We don’t know who his parents are, how old he is, what pack he came from or even how many shifts he’s gone through. I’ve been calling around and haven’t any answers yet.” Elder Lewis paused, waiting.
Brendan nodded for him to proceed.
“A feral’s life is short. They don’t have the mental strength to control their shift during the full moon, so rage consumes. When the full moon passes, their human side is mentally broken to the point that they are wild but can’t shift. You need to have the ability to focus to shift during non-full moons, leaving them vulnerable in the wild to hellhound attacks.” Elder Lewis clasped his hands.
“You see, too much happens, they injure themselves, seizures, stroke, a number of things can happen, but the point is—you need to prepare.” Elder Lewis leaned forward in his seat.
If Brendan’s friends were in the room, he didn’t hear so much as a peep out of them.
“Prepare?”
“Brendan…there is no way to cure a feral. You need to prepare, because you’re eventually going to lose him. A few months at the most is all you have. I’m not sure how long he’s been on his own but it’s a miracle he survived by himself.”
Shock hit Brendan hard. He didn’t know the feral, but the physical blow of the harsh words would have sent Brendan to his knees if he hadn’t been sitting.
Then, all his pain seemed to crest. A keening cry rose up out of Brendan.
What the fuck? How could Elder Lewis say this to me?
Cruel. There were no other words for it. To find your mate, only to realize you were going to lose him was the cruelest form of fate that Brendan could imagine.
Brendan lost track of what was going on until Dalton stood before him, his best friend and fellow Omega. Somehow, Brendan was out of his chair, back to the corner of Elder Lewis’ office, tears tracking down his face.
Dalton’s thumbs swiped the tears. “Come on, Bren. Breathe. You can do it.”
Brendan tried to get a lungful of air only to find his whole body had gone into shutdown. Nothing cooperated.
His vision blurred, and he barely made out the image of Malach behind Dalton.
“Breathe, dammit.”
The words were harsh, and Malach stared daggers at him, but the command from the guard was enough for him to suck in a lungful of air. Then another.
“Why? Why!” Brendan screamed at Dalton.
Dalton grabbed him and held him tight, and they both fell in a pile in the corner of the office.
“I don’t know, Bren, but we are gonna help you every step of the way. You hear me? You’re not alone.” Dalton began to rock him, and Brendan felt utterly broken.
After a time, still shocked, he stood and walked out of the office without a word. He made his way down the stone hallways until he found himself back at the feral’s cell. Staring at the man inside, he couldn’t believe how hearing the fate of this man affected him like it did. He didn’t know him, but Brendan’s very soul hurt at the fate this man had been given. He couldn’t even think how he was tied to it.
Resolve hit him hard. He was going to lose this man, but he was going to be with him every second until he was gone. This man was not going to suffer alone. The least Brendan could do was be with him every second to soothe the journey as best he could. Breath hitching, he ran to his room and grabbed a stack of books and threw them on the new mattress. Pulling up the edges, Brendan wedged the mattress through the doors and dragged it down the hall to the front of the feral’s cell. Sitting on the mattress, he grabbed a book and opened it, quickly glancing up at the feral who was staring back at him with lost gray eyes.
Brendan glanced down and blew out a breath. “Chapter one.”
Upon waking up, the feral tried to put together his thoughts. It appeared sanity was in reach.
What was his name?
Pain.
Where was he?
Reason was slipping.
Who is the man sleeping on the other side of the barred door?
Please let me keep the madness at bay for a little longer.
He tried to call out to the handsome man, but a harsh growl slipped from his throat.
He’s mine.
Madness.
* * * *
Brendan startled awake as the feral on the other side lost control, screaming and tearing up the mattress inside. Scrambling up, Brendan approached the bars as the feral clawed at the mattress, causing pieces to fly into the air.
The feral stood and turned, gray eyes predatory as they pierced Brendan.
His breath quickened as he stood frozen in place. The feral was there in less than a second, reaching for him, when a hand shot out and pulled him back.
“What the fuck, Bren. You know better. You’ve been here for a week. You know you can’t approach the bars,” Dalton shouted at him.
“I…” Brendan didn’t know what to say. He felt like he was losing his own sanity.
Slumping back onto his mattress, he scrubbed a hand over his dirty hair.
“You need a shower and to eat.” Dalton stood before him.
“But…”
“No. Don’t even start on the
I can’t leave him
bullshit. I’m sick of hearing it. You’re wasting away in front of these bars. You haven’t eaten or showered. You need to take better care of yourself.”
“I’m not leaving him,” Brendan gritted out.
“Too fucking bad. You are if I have to drag your ass out of here. You will shower, and you will have a hot meal.” Dalton made a grab for him.