Full Disclosure (Homefront: The Sheridans Book 2) (23 page)

- RYAN -

“Are you okay?” I’d have to be bat-blind
to not see how uncomfortable Kim has been all night. I know this is a huge step
for her, going out in public with me while she’s on the payroll.

“I’m fine,” she says simply. “It’s been a
wonderful night. I’m not exactly used to going out to dinner on a Wednesday. I
feel like it should be the weekend tomorrow.”

“It will be the weekend soon enough.”

She stops a few steps outside the door of
the restaurant. “I, uh, asked my parents if they’d take Connor for the night on
Friday so that we could have a little more time together. They said they
would.”

I can’t help the smile that stretches
broadly across my face. “I’ll ask my parents to do the same with Hannah.” I
take her hand, pulling her toward me in an embrace. “What do you want to do? Fly
to New York? Florida? Chicago? Anyplace within a twelve hundred-mile radius,
and it’ll be yours for the night, Kim.”

She laughs uncomfortably. “Or maybe we
could just stay at your place?”

“That’s fine with me. Might be hard keeping
my hands off of you while I fly a plane, anyway.” I kiss her thoroughly, hoping
that she won’t mind it, right here in the middle of the sidewalk of Anders
Street. The purr I feel gathering in her throat tells me that she doesn’t mind
at all.

I pull away from her when her phone
sounds again. “Are you sure you shouldn’t check that?“

“No. It’s just Allie or Cass.”

“Don’t they know you’re out tonight?”

“Yeah, they definitely know,” she says
amid a sigh.

Frowning slightly, we turn the corner to
head toward my car. Why would they be texting her several times when she was
out on a date with me? Could that be one of the reasons Kim looks so
distracted?

“Are you sure everything is all right?” I
ask her, opening the gullwing door to my Mercedes.

“It is,” she says, exasperation seeping
into her tone. She stops herself before climbing into the car. “No,
its—look, can we take a walk? I’m not ready to pick up the kids yet.”

“Sure,” I reply, dropping my car keys
back into my pocket, and slamming the door shut. “Where would you like to
walk?”

Her body stills on the street, glancing
around. Most of the shops on Anders Street are closed for the night. After the
development is complete, I can imagine some of the empty spaces along this road
will be taken up by more restaurants, a few shops, perhaps even a bed and
breakfast for people looking for a country getaway not too far from the city.

But right now, it’s still struggling.

“How about down by the water?” she
suggests.

I nod my reply, though I’m feeling
uneasy. We started this relationship down by the water, and I’m hoping she’s
not planning on ending it in the same place.

It’s an easier walk to the edge of
Newton’s Creek now than that night we first kissed. A road has been cleared for
construction equipment, and I don’t have to carry her piggy-back this time,
which is a damn shame.

Part of the site is bordered by fencing for
safety, but it’s still open by the water. I take her to the same spot we stood
that night a few weeks ago.

“What’s going on, Kim?” I ask her. “Did
someone say something at work?”

“No,” she says quickly. “Actually no one
said a word about us. I heard a few whispers and a couple conversations came to
a quick halt when I entered the room, but no one said a word to my face.”

“I’m sorry,” I tell her, taking both her
hands in mine. “I really don’t want this to make your life at work awkward.”

She shrugs. “It is what it is.”

“Is that what’s been bothering you?”

“No. Well, yes, it bothers me. But that’s
not the main thing. I’ve—
dammit
.” She ends her sentence abruptly,
and for no reason that’s apparent to me.

“You’ve what?”

“I feel like I need to tell you
something, and I can’t seem to get the words out.”

“Did we move too fast?”

“No. I mean, yes, probably. But that’s
not it either.”

I open my mouth again, but then clamp it
shut, realizing that whatever is bothering her probably isn’t something I can
guess too easily. In business, I benefit from being able to tell what’s on an
adversary’s mind before it bites me in the ass. I’m good at this. I can tell
when a deal is going to sour before it happens.

In relationships, I seem to lack this
talent.

Her eyes are staring at the ground
beneath her feet. “I need to tell you something,” she repeats. “But I need your
word first that this will never go anywhere. You can’t tell your parents, your
brothers, no one.”

I stare at her. “You have my word.”

“Even if this relationship ends, and you
find someone else. You can’t tell her either.”

I hardly like the sound of that, but I
nod my agreement. “I will never tell a soul, Kim.”

“I—well, it’s something that
happened to me in college. I was at a party with this guy I didn’t know very
well. I—I don’t remember…”

Her voice trails momentarily, staring
across the rambling path of the river as though she’d rather be anywhere but
here right now.

“I was stupid,” she finally continues. “I
had a drink, you know? I was underage. But I drank anyway. I don’t remember
anything past that. I woke up the next morning in his bed. I—we’d had
sex. I guess.” Her brow furrows sharply. “I mean, I
know
now. I just
didn’t—I don’t remember any of it. He was gone when I woke up.”

A chill enters my spine, freezing it cold
as I straighten my body. “He raped you.”

She shakes her head slightly. “I don’t
remember anything, though. I confronted him the next day and he told me that I
threw myself at him after I’d been drinking too much. That it was my fault. That
I shouldn’t have been drinking. But I swear I only remember one drink.”

“He put a roofie in your drink, Kim.”

She expels a breath, as though till that
moment her body had been poised to explode from the pressure. “That’s what Cass
says. And Allie. That’s what I’ve always known, maybe, in the back of my mind.”

“You didn’t go to the police?”

“God, no. I never even thought to. I didn’t
think I could prove anything, and I was too scared to admit that I’d been
drinking underage. I never even told my parents. I never told anyone. Not till
last week.”

“Allie and Cass?” I ask.

She nods.

I press my hand against my mouth as her
words sink in. My blood turns from ice cold to boiling in the span of a second
and I feel a surge that I can’t define. All instinct. The instinct to kill. I
want to kill this man for what he did to her. “What’s his name?”

“Jackson—” Her eyes dart to mine
and she drops her hands to her sides, looking at me in horror. “Christ, no.”

“Jackson who? We can still bring him up
on charges.”

“No, Ryan. I don’t want you to go looking
this guy up. That’s not the point of my telling you.”

“I have connections. Maybe we couldn’t
get a guilty verdict, but we could scare the living shit out of him.”

“You promised me you’d keep quiet.”

“Okay,” I say pensively. “Then we don’t
go to the police. But believe me when I say that I can make his life a living
hell. Just give me his name, and consider it done.”

Her eyes light with fire. “Oh, that’s
just great. You’re a dad, Ryan. You’re a
CEO
, for that matter. How would
it help me or your daughter or your family if you wind up in jail for exacting some
kind of revenge?”

I raise an eyebrow. “I didn’t say I’d get
caught.”

She raises her hands in the air and
starts to turn away from me. “Forget it. Forget I said anything. This was a
huge mistake.”

“Dammit. I’m sorry, Kim. It wasn’t a
mistake. But I care about you. It’s natural for me to want to kill this guy.”

“Just forget I said anything.”

“No—wait. You make the rules here,
Kim. You tell me how to respond. I’ll do it. I’ll do anything you want.” I wrap
my arms protectively around her, not wanting her to leave my side. “I’m so
sorry that this happened to you.” Her shoulders sag and her body yields,
accepting the firm support I offer her.

“You haven’t figured it out yet, have
you?” Her voice is so quiet I can barely hear her.

“Figured what out?”

“It happened four years ago. Well, more
like five, I guess.”

I feel the muscles in my body tense. “Connor.”

I watch her nod slowly, defeated.

“It took me a few months before I even
figured out I was pregnant.” Her voice is thick with anguish. “I told my
parents it was a one-night-stand, because honestly, that’s what I believed it
was. I
had
to believe that. Especially after Connor was born. Because
thinking that I’d just made a foolish mistake was so much easier than believing
my son was—”

Her voice stops, unable to speak the
truth, so I raise my finger to her lips to tell her that she doesn’t need to.

“Your son is an amazing kid. He’s yours. He
takes after you. There’s not an ounce of anyone but you in him, Kim.”

Her eyes well up and my heart cracks in
two when I see the tears fall.

“I had to keep quiet about it, Ryan. I
still have to. I don’t ever want anyone slipping. I don’t want him to know how
he came into this world. I love him too much for that. When he’s older… I don’t
know. No.” She shakes her head. “Not even then. I just can’t. What good would
it do? When he’s older, I’ll tell him what I told other people. That the condom
broke. That his dad wasn’t ready to be a dad. That his mom loved him enough to
make up for all that, or at least I’m trying to make up for all that. It’s hard
enough growing up without a father, you know?”

Her face stills when I cup her chin in
both my hands. “He will never find out. And no matter what, I will never speak
a word about this to anyone. I give you my word, Kim.”

I embrace her, shielding her from the
cool October breeze that sends leaves tumbling to the ground around us. And I
ache for all the things I wasn’t able to shield her from in her past.

- RYAN -

My eyes stray from the document I’m
reading and glance upward to the clock, counting down the moments till I can
see Kim tonight for our Friday date. I sit at my mahogany desk, my thumb unconsciously
playing with a deep indentation on the edge of the surface just above the middle
drawer.

I had made that when I was a kid. I
remember the day, having walked to Dad’s office after school when I was about
twelve because Dad had said he’d break away from work early and take me
fishing. Logan was at football practice and Dylan was at a wrestling match.

Deborah, who was “Ms. Stevens” to me back
then, had told me Dad was still in a meeting. But she set me up in his office
with some juice and a brownie from the JLS cafeteria. For an hour or so, I sat
in one of the small leather chairs opposite his desk. Then I moved to the imposing
chair behind his desk to do some homework.

Another hour passed and he wasn’t out of
his meeting. I was angry then, knowing that the fish would remain in the creek
tonight because he’d want to head home for dinner whenever he finally got out
of his meeting.

My ballpoint pen had practically sizzled
in my hand, all the pent-up anger of a twelve-year-old boy oozing out to my
fingertips. The pen strayed from my geometry homework and made a small gash in
his desk, and I’d felt a hint of satisfaction from it. I gouged it in harder,
making a deep crevice. And harder still, as the crevice widened into the shape
of an oval. I ground that pen in as hard as I could, marking it, branding it,
and feeling a glimmer of satisfaction that now, each time my dad sat at this
damn desk, he’d think of me, even if it was in a bad way.

Anytime I find myself tempted to make a
business meeting when I should be spending time with Hannah, I stare at this
wound in my desk and remember.

But today, as I trace it with my thumb, I
can’t help thinking of Connor. Of the dad he has and will never, God willing, know
about.
Jackson
, she’d said was his first name.

Jackson.

I can find out easily enough where Kim
went to college, and when she attended that final year before she dropped out
after getting pregnant. There can’t be that many Jacksons that were around her
age, around that time, at whatever college it was. I wouldn’t even need the
help of Leverty to track this guy down.

But what then?

And what did it even
matter—thinking this right now when I had promised Kim that
she
was the one to make the rules on this? Not me. As much as I might feel the urge
to find this guy, to find some easy, untraceable way to exact my revenge, I
couldn’t do it.

My word is my bond. That’s something I
live by. And I won’t break my vow to Kim no matter how tempting it might be. I
won’t make a single move that she doesn’t okay first. She confided this in me,
and I cherish the trust that she has in me.

I can’t right the wrongs of the past for
her or for her son. But I can do something about her future.

My cell phone rings and I pull it from my
pocket. Frowning, I answer, knowing just what the call will be before I even
say hello.

The timing couldn’t be worse. I’d been
looking forward to this evening with Kim. And as much as I love flying in the
clouds, I’d rather be on solid land with Kim tonight than anyplace else.

“Hey, Paula,” I greet the woman who
arranges the patient trips for the nonprofit where I volunteer my plane.

“Logan, there’s a patient just outside of
Cincinnati who needs to get to New York. A liver just became available for
transplant there. He and his mom need to get there tonight. You available?”

No, I want to answer. But I can hardly
say it. So I answer in the affirmative, jotting down a few details, as well as the
time I need to be at the airfield before I end the call.

My Friday night won’t be what I’d
planned, but it’s selfish to be angry about it when someone’s life is hanging
in the balance.

Pressing my lips together, I lift the
receiver on the phone on my desk and punch in Kim’s extension. “Hey,
beautiful,” I say, hoping the greeting might soften the last-minute
cancellation that I’m about to deliver.

“Hi,” she replies quietly. I can picture
her in her cubicle, lowering her voice, hoping that no one will figure out who
she’s talking to. She’d have been more comfortable had I texted her. But some
things you just can’t say in a text.

“Something came up tonight. I have
to—” My teeth suddenly clench together, remembering. I want to tell her
about how I volunteer to fly patients to hospitals. I want to tell her that
someone needs a liver transplant tonight and seconds count.

But I know I can’t. Not right now. She’s
told me more than once that talking about diseases makes her hit the panic
button with Connor, and seeing as she lost her brother to cancer, I can
understand why. The last thing she needs right now is to be looking up biliary
atresia online and checking Connor for symptoms.

Of course, I’ll need to tell her about
this soon. It’s a part of my life that I’d like to continue indefinitely. But I
won’t tell her now, when she’s already probably reeling from the revelation
that wrenched itself from her soul Wednesday night.

“—fly to New York tonight. It’s a
bit of an emergency,” I finish awkwardly.

“Oh no,” she replies. “Is everything all
right?”

“It’ll be fine. I’ll explain tomorrow, I
promise. I’m actually leaving in a few minutes. I would have called earlier,
but I literally just found out about this now.”

“That’s okay. Really. Are you sure you don’t
want to meet up after you get back?”

“I won’t be back till late. Probably
around midnight. Could we move our plans to tomorrow night?”

“Of course.” Her tone sounds a bit
brighter now.

“I’ll make it up to you.”

“I know you will. You’re a man of your word.”
The way she says the words, they seem to carry more weight than they ordinarily
do.

“I am that. I’m dying to see you again,
Kim. I—”
Sweet Jesus
. I nearly slipped. Nearly said I love you
even though it’s not something that had occurred to me as even being a
possibility till this moment. “—can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Same
time?”

“Same time.” I can hear the smile in her
words and it warms me as I hang up the phone.

Holy shit.
I’m really in love with her. It’s
completely illogical to fall this hard, this fast for a woman. But looking
back, I think it started happening that first moment when she rescued me in the
parking lot. Dad was right. It does hit like a lightning bolt.

My fingers itch to call her back at her
extension and tell her right now. But a covert conversation on the phone while
she’s in her cubicle is hardly the romantic setting she deserves.

Tomorrow then. Dinner someplace special.
A late night swim in my pool, I ponder, making a mental note to turn up the
temperature of the water now that there’s more of a chill in the air.

I pick up the phone again and call my
mother. “Hey, Mom. Just found out I’m needed to fly someone to New York. Can
you pick up Hannah from school?”

“Of course. I was planning on having her
tonight, anyway. She’ll have to stay in aftercare for a while, because I’m
taking your dad to a doctor’s appointment this afternoon. Is that all right?”

“It’s fine. She loves aftercare.”

“Will you make it home in time to still
have your date with Kim?”

“No. We’ve moved our plans to tomorrow. Are
you free for another night of babysitting?”

“Of course. In fact, you better take
advantage of us while you can.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, your father and I have decided to
do some traveling this winter.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I’ve always hated Ohio winters and
now that he’s got you taking over for him, we finally have some time to make
some memories together.”

The irony of what she is saying doesn’t
escape me. They need to make memories together before Dad loses them
completely.

“Mom, that’s wonderful.”

“I think so, too. We’ll bring his nurse
with us. We’re thinking Hawaii, Australia, Tahiti…” She rambles on for a couple
minutes about her plans before I have to close the conversation, needing to
head out to the airfield.

And as I pull out of the JLS parking lot
and point my car in Amelia’s direction, I can’t seem to stop the smile on my
face, thinking of my parents after so many years of marriage, finally taking
the time to make some memories, all to themselves.