Full Court Press (47 page)

Still, he was being such an idiot. Lily was hysterical. She turned to the male nurse who had brought her up. “Can you go in there and get him for me?” she asked.

The nurse left and returned a few minutes later with Beck in tow.

“Carmondy?” Beck stared, obviously too upset to be angry.

She forced herself to be just as cold as he’d been to her. “I hope you realize that by being a total fucking jerk, you could have cost Lily all the progress she’s made. Now shut up, come in with me, and pretend like we don’t hate each other. Got it?”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him into the room.

The nurses had given up on comforting Lily and had started drawing liquid from a clear syringe, presumably sedatives.

Beck sat on the edge of the bed and touched his sister’s shoulder. “Lily?”

Her tear-streaked face turned to him and he gave his best smile. “Look who’s here.”

Carmondy leaned down next to him. “Hi.”

Lily’s big eyes showed a spark of hope. “Two visitors.”

Beck nodded. “Yep.”

“Sorry I’m late,” Carmondy said.

Lily sat up slowly. “He told me you weren’t coming.”

Carmondy shrugged and slid onto the bed. “Well, I’m here. He was wrong.” She gave Beck a piercing look. “He’s wrong about a lot of things.”

Lily scrambled off the bed and over to the corner to pick up the book she had thrown earlier. When she returned to the bed, her face was cheerful again. The nurses hesitated only a moment before leaving the room slowly. The crisis seemed to be averted.

“Guess what?” Lily asked Carmondy.

“What?”

“Guess!” Lily giggled.

“Okay...you finished the book?”

“Yep!” the girl said proudly.

“Awesome! Did you like it?”

Lily nodded vigorously. “A lot.”

Carmondy smiled, ignoring Beck’s presence beside her. “Did you start the second one?”

Lily nodded again and glanced at Beck. “But there was something I needed to talk to you about.”

“Okay, go ahead.”

Lily glanced at Beck again, without saying anything.

“Oh, I see.” Carmondy turned to him, and her voice had a fake sweetness to it. “Would you mind going and checking with the nurses or something?”

Beck obviously didn’t want to, but he took the hint anyway and left the room.

After he left, Lily hesitantly asked her about how it felt to be kissed. Carmondy gave her a PG rundown, which led to talk about boys, which Carmondy managed to segue into a suggestion that Lily let her cut her hair.

Carmondy opened the door and found Beck standing in the hallway. “We’re done. But could you have the nurses bring a pair of hair-cutting scissors and a towel?”

“What did you guys talk about?”

“Girl talk. Nothing you need to know about.”

“But—”

“No. Beck. Just get what I asked for.” She went back into the room, leaving him no choice but to get the scissors and towel from the nurse.

They had moved Lily’s desk chair in front of the two-way mirror and she was sitting patiently, reading one of the books. She looked up when he walked in, happy again.

“Hey.” He smiled. “Gonna get your hair cut?”

Lily nodded and turned back to her book.

Carmondy took the towel from him and settled it around the girl’s shoulders. “How’s that?”

Lily shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”

She took the sharp scissors from Beck’s hand and stood behind Lily. “You’re sure you don’t mind?” Car asked, running her fingers through the girl’s fine blond hair, smoothing out any tangles.

“Are you going to make me pretty, like the girl in the story?” Lily asked. “The one with short hair?”

Carmondy smiled. “I sure am. What do you think, Beck, short hair will be cute on your sister, right?”

Beck went to stand beside Carmondy. “Yep, it’ll be adorable.”

His sister beamed at him in the mirror.

“All right then, ready?” Car asked, situating the scissors in her hand.

Lily nodded.

“Okay, you just have to be careful to keep still, or I could cut you. All right?”

Lily nodded again but seemed more interested in her book than her hair.

Carmondy snipped at his sister’s hair very carefully. Within minutes, it was no longer choppy.

Soon, Lily’s hair was short and even. Carmondy moved to her bangs, but the girl kept tossing her head as if it were an annoying fly near her head and not a pair of sharp scissors. Carmondy was patient though and a few minutes later, Lily had bangs. It really was a cute haircut. Her hair now ended just below her ears and her bangs were short enough that they didn’t get into her eyes.

Carmondy brushed a few stray hairs off Lily’s head before removing the towel. “Do you like it?”

The girl looked up and examined herself in the mirror. “I think I look pretty.”

“You are pretty,” Beck assured her.

Lily looked at Carmondy with a hopeful smile on her face. “Do you think boys will like me now? Now that I have pretty hair?”

Beck froze and then slowly turned to Carmondy, who was also looking at him. They both seemed to be lost for words.

“Umm...well...I...” Carmondy stuttered and stared at Beck for an explanation.

Beck just shrugged, obviously unwilling to go there.

“Boys don’t like short hair?” Lily sounded concerned.

“No, no, I mean, yes, they do like short hair. They like all kinds of hair,” Carmondy assured her.

“But I’m prettier with short hair,” Lily said confidently. “So that means boys will like me now.”

Beck nodded slowly. “Yes...they will. Do you...know any guys?”

“No,” Lily shrugged. “But I will. Won’t I?”

Beck wasn’t sure what to say. His sister’s face was so hopeful.

Carmondy took over. “Of course you will. The boys will be fighting over you.”

Lily smiled. “As long as they don’t hurt each other.”

The rest of the visit went smoothly.

Lily read a bit and told them all about the books, even though Carmondy had already read them. She also told them about the movies she’d watched so far and gave a detailed description of each storyline and why she liked it.

Eventually Lily began to get tired and then it was time for her medications and a nap. They said their goodbyes and left her to sleep.

They left the building without saying anything, and Carmondy was determined to ignore him. She headed straight for her Jeep but Beck grabbed her arm.

“Carmondy.”

She jerked her arm out of his grasp. “What?”

“What the hell is your problem?”

She shook her head disbelievingly. “I knew you were an asshole, Beck, but doing that to your sister? You made her cry because you hate me all of a sudden? That’s low, even for you.”

“I didn’t know that would happen.”

“I told you, but you didn’t want to believe it. It was selfish and I can’t believe I ever considered you a good person.”

“I messed up.”

“No kidding.” She headed for her car again.

“Damn it, Carmondy! Listen to me!”

She opened the door to her Jeep before looking back at him. “No, Beck. I tried to get you to listen to me and you wouldn’t. Now it’s too late. Kendall was right. You dumping me was the best thing that could have happened. I’m leaving. I will see you next Sunday.”

Beck stepped back, his face dark with what actually looked like sadness. “Carmondy,” he whispered, but she slammed the door and put her Jeep into drive.

It took all of Carmondy’s willpower to not slam on the brakes and go running back to him. She had to keep telling herself that just because he seemed different now didn’t change the fact that he was a total asshole and he’d broken up with her. He’d been an asshole from the start and she’d been a fool to keep telling herself that he had a heart.

As much as she tried to tell herself that she was over him, that she needed to be over him—she wasn’t. She couldn’t ignore the little things that Beck had done for her when he didn’t even realize it. There was no denying that he’d changed since they met. Car was pretty sure he wasn’t a nice guy, but that didn’t make him a bad guy either.

God, she was so confused.

If you took all the bad things that Beck had done and added them up, he’d be a complete and utter asshole. But if you took all the nice things he had done, he’d be a total sweetheart.

So the question was, which one outweighed the other?

Yeah, he yelled at her, said things that he knew would hurt. He ignored her and let his sister take the burn for it.

But the way he had kissed her the last time they had really been together, or when he’d thought she was asleep, the way he comforted her when she had her first asthma attack, the way he’d trusted her enough to introduce her to his sister at all really was amazing.

It wasn’t like she’d been the perfect person either. She’d spied on him and almost slept with his best friend. She’d practically blackmailed him into a relationship.

Things had been going great. Why did he break up with her? The second he seemed to actually be having real feelings for her, he turned around and shoved it all back in her face.

Carmondy sighed. Either way, whether he was nice or not, he was always going to be hot and cold and she wasn’t sure she could handle that. She deserved someone who could control their emotions better, so she wouldn’t have to walk on eggshells. She deserved someone with a conscience, someone who regretted it when they were an asshole.

Beck didn’t seem to regret anything.

Nope, Beck wasn’t worth it. No guy was worth the emotional rollercoaster she’d been riding the past few weeks.

Right?

W
hen Carmondy got home from the hospital, she jumped in the shower, spending a long time under the hot stream of water, trying to get it together. The afternoon had really taken a toll on her. When she finally got out, she pulled on some shorts and a T-shirt and was just about to go to bed when someone knocked on her door.

She opened the door, expecting it to be Kendall or Anderson, only to find Beck standing there instead.

They just stared at each other for a moment. He looked like hell, his eyes bloodshot and his face haggard. He was still the most gorgeous guy she’d ever seen though.

“What are you doing here?” she spat out, glaring at him.

“We need to talk.”

“No. We don’t.” She tried to shut the door on him but he caught it with his arm, stepping half into the doorway.

“Carmondy. Just two minutes. I just need two minutes.”

“No,” she snapped, trying to shove the door closed.

He pushed into the room easily. “Don’t make me feel like I’m breaking into your apartment.”

“Then get the fuck out!” She tried to shove him out but he stepped out of the way and let her slam the door, shutting them in together.

She was getting frustrated. “Get out of here.”

“Just hear me out and then I’ll leave if you want me to.” He took a deep breath and waited.

She crossed her arms and looked up at him. “Fine. One minute.”

He nodded. “Uh...do you want to sit down or—”

She didn’t make any attempt to move the conversation to the living area.

“Okay...look, Carmondy, I don’t…this past week has been...hell.”

She blinked, her hard expression softening just a touch.

“I...wow, this sounds so cliché, but I can’t stop thinking about you, dreaming about you. I...yeah. I miss you. I know I fucked up. I know what I said to you isn’t excusable. But—” He faltered. “I messed up. I know it. You were right. I was scared. Because the other day, I realized just how much you meant to me, how you were the only girl who’d even tried to get to know me, to really know me, even after all the times I pushed you away. And…yeah. That scared the hell out of me.”

She looked at him for a while before speaking, trying to still her racing heart, trying to tell whether or not he was serious. “So what...I’m just supposed to just forgive you?”

“No. Kendall said that after I apologized, I’d have to prove to you that I meant it.”

“Kendall? You brought Kendall into this?”

“And Andy. I needed advice.”

She rolled her eyes, amused at the thought that he’d actually gone to Anderson and Kendall for advice on how to get her back. That had to be a good sign, right? It was so unlike him. “Whatever, ok. They’re right, I don’t believe you. What are you going to do to prove it to me?”

He put his hand in his jacket pocket and pulled out some steel handcuffs. “I had an idea.”

Her pulse accelerated. God, how could she still want him this much after everything that had happened? “Care to elaborate?”

“Okay, well, I don’t know about you but I’ve been...craving you. A lot.”

“You mean sex?”

“Yes, but not just sex. Sex with you.”

“How so?”

“I called over a friend, for a little...mouth action and...I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want her to suck me off. I didn’t know why, but I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because of you.”

“You called in a girl to give you head?”

“Yes.”

“When?”

“Thursday.”

Wow! She couldn’t believe this was how he was apologizing to her. “Okay. You’re horny. Get to the point.”