Full Contact (18 page)

“Just because,” she finished. “And if he doesn't want to help me, then I won't be having sex with him.”

“Wow.” Shelley held both of her hands. Swinging them lightly. “I can't believe this.”

“You don't think I'm crazy?”

“I don't care if you're crazy. I'm thrilled that you can feel again. If this works, El, you could start dating. Get married to a guy who's worthy of you. Have more kids…”

Shelley teared up, and so did Ellen. The life her sister described was exactly what Ellen wanted, what she'd almost given up hope of ever having. All she had ever wanted was to marry, have children. Be a wife and a mother and raise her family in Shelter Valley.

If Jay could give her that chance again, she'd be forever indebted to him.

And so would her future husband be. They could name their first child after him.

The idea didn't hold as much appeal as the thought of having sex with Jay.

“C
OLE, THERE'S SOMETHING
I have to tell you.” Sitting in a booth in the deserted playroom of the restaurant Jay had eventually stopped at, he popped a French fry into his mouth. Watched while his son chewed and swallowed the last bite of his burger. After driving around for an hour, he'd gotten used to the idea of having a son.

If Cole was like him, he'd be fine with the idea, too. He and Cole would ride around the country on the back of the Harley. Until his son turned sixteen and had a bike of his own. Then they would ride side by side. Two guys on the road. Needing no one.

“What? You can't take me out tomorrow after school? Don't worry about it. Mom probably wouldn't have let me go anyway. She doesn't like me to have fun. She doesn't think I deserve it.”

“That's not true. Your mother wants you to have fun.”

“No, she really doesn't.” The boy slurped to finish his drink. “She says a bad kid like me doesn't deserve good stuff.”

“You think you're a bad kid?”

“She does.”

“Do you?”

“Hell, I don't know. Maybe. Anyway, what was it you had to tell me?”

You're my son.
Jay heard the words in his head. His frozen throat prevented them from sounding out loud.

“Let me ask you something, first.” He tried a different tact.

“What?”

“How would you feel about spending time on the road with me?”

“On the motorcycle?” The boy's eyes were huge.

“Yeah.”

“I'd say, let's go.”

“Could you see yourself ever living at the beach?” Part-time only. Kelsey still needed her son. And even if she didn't, Cole needed his mother. But for summers, weekends and school holidays, Jay could have his chance.

“Hell, yeah.” Then the boy frowned. “Wait, what is this? You some kind of cop or something? Am I under arrest?”

“No. What makes you think that?”

“There was this kid at school, kind of a friend of mine. Some guy came and took him off to a place where he's locked up. They called it a school, but it ain't like no school I've ever heard of. He doesn't even get to come home for Christmas.”

“I'm no cop,” Jay said. “Though I am a licensed private investigator.”

Cole held up both hands, palms out. “Hey, I haven't done nothing, man. No matter what Mom has told you. I'm clean. I swear.”

“Cole, I'm not out to get you.”

The boy sat back, his arms folded across his chest. “Then what is this? You aren't staying with us, are you? You aren't a friend of my dad's.”

“I'm not staying with your parents, but, yes, I was a friend of your father's in college. I was a friend of your mom's, too, and that's why I'm here.”

“Because you're investigating them? You're using me to find out stuff about them?”

“No.”

“What then? Who are you?”

“I'm your father.” The words, the truth, slid right out. Almost naturally. Jay took his first easy breath since pulling into Phoenix. It hadn't been that bad.

Cole jumped up with such force, he knocked their tray off the table, spilling Jay's fries all over the floor. “You're
lying!
You bastard. Take me home. I want to go home.
Now!
You can't keep me here. I'll call the cops. Say I've been kidnapped… I probably have been kidnapped. I know how this goes. You tell me you're my long-last dad, I believe you and then you take me away and do sick things to me. Well, I'm not falling for it….”

The boy's voice rose enough that people in the dining room on the other side of the wall were staring at them.

“Here.” Pulling his phone out of the case at his waist, he handed it to Cole.

“What?”

“Call your mom. You dial. You know the number and her voice. Call her.”

Cole stared for a solid minute. At the phone. At Jay.

“Everything okay in here?” A manager-type came into the enclosure.

Jay looked at Cole. Head bowed he sat.

“Everything's fine,” Jay said.

“Son?” The manager came closer.

“Yeah. I just need to call my mom,” Cole muttered.

Seeing the cell phone in the boy's hand, the man gave Jay another look, as if to warn him that if he tried anything funny he'd find himself on the wrong end of a pair of handcuffs, and left them alone.

He'd be watching them, though.

“Call her,” Jay said. He'd thought about telling the manager that he was Cole's father, but with the reaction that news had received, he'd figured it was best to hold his tongue on that one.

Turning his back on Jay, Cole dialed. The wait seemed interminable then Jay heard Cole say, “Mom?”

The boy sounded as though he was crying.

“Jay says he's my dad.” Another pause. “No, he's not. Dad is. You're lying to me because you guys don't want me.”

The wait was longer this time. “Whatever.” Almost immediately he repeated that word. Then again. “No, you don't.” He paused before finally muttering, “Bye.”

Slumped in the seat, Cole handed over the phone. Jay waited. Nothing was forthcoming.

The manager's curious stare through the window was becoming annoying. “You ready to go?”

“Sure,” Cole said, stepping on the fries he'd spilled, crushing them into the tile. Jay had forgotten all about them.

With a silent apology to whoever would have to clean up his son's mess, Jay followed him to the bike.

Cole pulled on his helmet, adjusted the sound level, then climbed on. He slid his arms around Jay's waist without being told to. He didn't say a word the whole trip back, not even when Jay pulled up to the security booth of the gated community and typed in the code that swung open the gates.

“You want me to come in?” he asked as Cole jumped
off the bike almost before it had stopped in front of his house.

“No,” Cole said. “And I don't want you, either. I don't care what any of you say. You aren't my dad. If you were, where have you been all my life?” Without waiting for an answer, he headed toward the house.

As if on cue the front door opened, and Kelsey stood there. An older Kelsey. She'd put on a few pounds, but not many. Her hair was still blond, long and silky-looking. But the lines on her face were all new since Jay had seen her last.

Putting an arm around her son's shoulders, she pulled him inside and, with a dismissive wave in Jay's direction, shut the door.

Both times Jay stopped on the way to Shelter Valley to call Kelsey's cell phone, she didn't pick up.

There was a message from her, though, when he arrived at his rental home.

“Jay, I'm really sorry to have dragged you into all of this. Meeting you was the catalyst Cole needed to see how much we mean to him, how much living at home means to him. It's been a wake-up call for all of us. He's promised to listen to us from now on. He understands that we have rules because we love him and that he has to do as we ask. And we have you to thank for that. I'm sorry to have bothered you, but you can rest assured that your son is loved and well cared for. We'll call you if we need you. Thanks again. Bye.”

What the hell?

 

I
T WAS AFTER NINE O'CLOCK
when Ellen finally saw lights on at Jay's. He'd been gone over five hours. Did that mean things had gone all right with Cole?

Or that they hadn't?

Sitting outside his house in her car, she thought about calling him. But was afraid he wouldn't pick up. From what she'd seen, Jay had a way of closing in on himself when he had wounds to lick.

Apparently, life had required that of him.

He didn't need to do that tonight.

And if he was fine and didn't need company? She'd say good-night and be on her way home.

Maybe to take another hot bath. A dip in the pool would be nice, too—it had reached over one hundred and ten degrees today. She could stop by her mom's—provided she didn't mind answering questions about where she'd been and why she was out so late. But it would be nice to talk to David, find out if he'd heard anything.

And if Shelley was home, maybe the two of them could watch a movie. For that matter, she should have asked her sister to spend the night with her. Shelley didn't have class in the morning.

She was at Jay's front door. Lifted her hand. Knocked. She almost jumped back when he pulled open the door.

“Hi,” he said, as though he'd been expecting her.

“Hi. You want some company?”

“Sure.” He stepped away. Once she was in the house, she noticed that he was wearing cutoffs. And his hair was wet.

“I just came in from the pool to get a drink when I heard your knock.”

She would have missed him if she'd been a few minutes earlier. Or later.

“I'm having beer. You want something?”

She hadn't had a beer in years. During her first
year of college, she'd consumed more beer than water. “Sure.”

Following him through to the kitchen, Ellen waited for him to lead her outside.

He came to the table instead.

“You said you were out at the pool.”

“I was.”

“Then let's go back out. I miss having a pool of my own. When I lived at home, I used to sit outside on hot summer nights and feel like I was the luckiest girl alive.”

She still felt pretty lucky. Most days. One particular day aside.

“I can be done for now.”

“Really, I don't mind,” Ellen said. “Don't cut your swim short because of me.”

He was different. Too subdued. As if he'd been socked in the solar plexus.

Shock, she figured. He'd had a traumatic night and was here all alone. She was glad she'd stopped by.

“I swim in the nude.”

“Oh. Well…” She wouldn't mind. “Don't you have a suit you can put on?”

“Yeah. If I wanted to bother. I don't.”

This Jay was different. She didn't quite know what to do with him. She wasn't afraid, or even uncomfortable. She simply wasn't sure how to help him.

“Can we sit outside?” she asked. He'd said once that the pool and backyard were the best part of the house. “Sure.”

Taking the beer he'd handed her, she settled into one of two lounge chairs and waited while he dropped to
the one next to her. With his feet up in front of him, Jay leaned back.

“So how did it go?”

He stared at the pool. Then at the stars in the dark sky. The cacti and bougainvillea lining the stucco wall around his yard were mostly shadows, but visible in small patches from the landscape lighting.

The light in the pool was on, too.

“Good.” Jay's answer was a long time coming. And sounded…weary.

Nothing like the man she'd come to know.

“Did you tell him?”

“Yeah.”

“And he took it well?”

“No. He cussed like a sailor and almost got me arrested for kidnapping and child molestation, I think.”

“What?” Ellen sat forward, studying what she could make out of his expression. “What happened?”

She listened while he told her about Cole's call with his mother, and the message she'd left for Jay.

“They used you?”

He shrugged. “I don't know if it was that calculated, but maybe. It wouldn't be the first time.”

Angrier than she'd been in a long time, she could barely stay seated. “They can't do that to you. It's wrong.”

“They can do it. They did.”

“Did she lie to you about being Cole's father?”

“No, that part is true. Looking at that kid was almost like looking at myself in the mirror twenty years ago.”

“Then you have rights, Jay. No matter who they are or how much money they have.”

“Leave it alone, Ellen. It's okay, really. For the best.”

“
For the best?
It's not for the best. How could it possibly be for the best to tell a man he has a son, to tell a boy he has a father he's never known, then expect both to forget they met each other?”

“McGuire's the only father Cole's ever known. More importantly, he's the only father Cole wants. I don't blame him. I'm sure as hell not going to disrupt his life with my rights and demands. It looks like things are going to settle down for him. Like he's going to get on the right road and stay there. That's all that matters.”

“Is it?”

He took a long swig of beer. “How the hell do I know?” He set down a nearly empty bottle. He'd just opened the thing. She wondered how many he'd had.

Not that she blamed him. A few beers at home by the pool seemed tame. He'd had a bad night by anyone's standards.

“You can stay in touch with Kelsey,” she said. “Maybe work something out for occasional visits.”

Jay shook his head. “Not if it's going to disrupt the family life he's got. And needs. He's at a critical age and I'm not going to cause him confusion.”

“He knows about you now. It's not like he's going to forget meeting you.”

“No, but his parents can help him deal with that—tell him I was in prison and didn't know about him. Or tell him that I was in prison and did know about him. As long as the kid's okay, it doesn't really matter.”

“You don't really believe that.”

“I don't know what I believe.”

The truth of his words was so stark, so real, Ellen felt tears in the back of her eyes.

“They might not tell him you were in prison at all.”

“McGuire and Kelsey? Sure they will. If nothing else, to scare him straight. To make sure he doesn't turn out like his old man.”

“If he did, he'd be one lucky guy.” She hadn't meant to say the words, yet, once out, they felt right.

“I took the fall for all them,” Jay said in a conversational tone, as though discussing how much chlorine he'd put in the pool. “I was the bad apple, the one who brought the drugs. The rest of them had no idea. They all came out smelling like roses.”