Full Bloom (13 page)

S
he'd had the nerve to claim she had been trying to protect him. Jacob did not know which infuriated him most—having Emily use him and her RI shares to threaten her family, or having her claim afterward that she had only done it to protect him from Ravenscroft wrath.

He could not believe she had actually thought he needed protecting, so he dismissed her claim out of hand. That meant his initial analysis had to have been right. She had finally taken her stand against her family in a big way, and Jacob found himself being used as a pawn.

It was the only logical explanation, he told himself over and over again. She could not possibly have been so witless as to actually think she had to do something that dramatic to protect him.

Could she?

Several hours later, at two in the morning to be exact, Jacob was awake, pacing the living room of his apartment and agonizing over the way he had handled Emily's bold act of assertiveness.

It was unlike him to agonize over any decision, and Jacob was as furious with himself for his own uneasiness as he had been earlier with Emily.

He stalked barefoot into the kitchen and reached into a cupboard for a bottle of medicinal Scotch. It was going to be a long night, and the knowledge that Emily was spending it not more than a couple of miles away in a lonely hotel room did not make things any easier.

He had to stand firm on this, Jacob reminded himself for the thousandth time as he splashed a healthy swallow of Scotch into a water glass. He was not normally a tolerant man, but he had long ago realized he would probably tolerate almost anything from Emily. Still, he had to draw some lines with her.

Dammit, he wanted her to want him for himself, not because she had decided he was strong enough to be used in a power play against her family.

Jacob tossed back the Scotch and prowled restlessly back out into the living room. From his window he could see the lights of the hotel where Emily was staying. It was torture to stand here thinking about how good it would be to spend the night in Emily's bed. Self-inflicted torture. He must be turning into some sort of stupid masochist.

But it would be even more masochistic to let her turn him into a club that
she could use to beat the other Ravenscrofts over the head.

It was obvious to Jacob that in the past couple of years Emily had finally begun to tap into her own strength as a woman and as a Ravenscroft. Until tonight he had been glad to see the transformation, aware that she had come into her own and aware, too, that on some level she was free to love him now.

But tonight Jacob had been shattered to discover that her motives for becoming involved with him were not the simple, straightforward result of womanly passion.

He did not doubt the passion. That had been real enough. His body tightened at the memory of Emily flowering in his arms. But tonight he had realized that she might have come to him for more subtle and complex reasons. He was worried now that she had fallen so easily into his arms because she had sensed instinctively that he was the one man she could use to retaliate against her family for years of overprotectiveness and interference.

He'd give a great deal to get his hands on that damned assertiveness training course instructor. Whoever he or she was, that person had done the job of bringing Emily out of her shell only too well. Of course, the instructor had had basic Ravenscroft material—tempered steel—with which to work, Jacob reminded himself wryly.

Jacob stared out the window at the lights of the hotel. He wanted Emily more than he had ever wanted anything else in his life. God knew he had waited long enough for her. But he wanted her to love him for himself, not because she could use him to finally take a stand against her family.

Jacob swore silently as he examined the web in which he was caught. He, of all people, should have realized how dangerous it was to get involved with
Ravenscrofts. Corner any one of them, even the youngest and the softest little female in the bunch, and you found out fast enough they all had claws.

Jacob grinned reluctantly. He wouldn't deny Emily the right to unsheath those claws once in a while. He was too much of a predator himself not to understand her need to fight back occasionally. Hell, he needed a woman who could hold her own. He had no use for wimps, male or female.

He glanced at his watch and promised himself he would see Emily first thing in the morning. He was convinced that all she needed was a little time to think. By breakfast she would have had the whole night to reconsider her actions. Jacob was sure she would realize that she had been wrong to confuse her feelings for him with her need to take a stand against her family.

It would be worth the lonely wait tonight to give her time to sort things out. She was an intelligent woman. What's more, she was falling in love with him, Jacob told himself. That love was his high card. She might be a Ravenscroft, but she was different from the others. She was too gentle to dig in her heels over this, for instance.

All he had to do was give her a little time. When she was ready to admit she had been wrong, he would be ready and waiting to graciously accept her apology.

But at seven o'clock the next morning when Jacob knocked on her hotel door
prepared for tearful remorse, he was stunned to discover that Emily had already left Portland. She had caught an early-morning plane back to Seattle.

At first he couldn't believe she had fled. She was too honest, too sweet and too much at the mercy of her own gentle conscience not to stick around and apologize for what she had done.

She was acting as if she were the one who had been abused, he thought furiously.

That chilled him. If she truly felt wronged it could only be because she actually had faced her family for his sake.

Jacob drove back to his apartment grimly wondering for the first time if he might have misjudged Emily's motives for staging the scene in her father's study.

She was just naive enough still to think he might need protection. And she was just reckless enough to try to offer the only defense she thought she could provide.

"Emily, you're going to ruin our whole inventory of tulips if you keep jamming them into your arrangement like that." Diane glowered at her boss as Emily tossed another broken tulip into a nearby trash bin.

"I haven't got much time to come up with a decent design," Emily muttered as she eyed her bedraggled creation. "The show is tonight. If I'm going to enter, I have to get my arrangement in by five o'clock this afternoon."

"I know that, but you aren't going to create anything brilliant by attacking the poor flowers. What's the matter with you, anyway? You've been acting weird since you got back from Portland yesterday. Did you and Jacob quarrel?"

"It's none of your business." Emily picked up another tulip and scanned her latest arrangement like a general preparing for battle.

"Aha, so you did have a fight. I knew it." Diane broke off abruptly as the shop door opened and a customer ambled inside. She helped the woman choose some cut flowers, wrapped them for her and collected the money. When the shop door closed behind the customer, Diane turned to her friend as if there had been no break in the discussion. "So tell me about it."

"There's nothing to tell," Emily said tightly. "I made another mistake. I tend to do that a lot when it comes to judging men. Have you noticed?"

"Emily, stop feeling sorry for yourself and tell me what happened in Portland."

Emily chewed on her lower lip while she considered her answer. She discovered she wanted to talk to a friend. The crushing weight of the disaster was becoming too much for her. She tossed a tulip down on the counter and looked at her assistant.

"I only wanted to protect him, Diane."

"Protect Jacob? From what?"

"My family."

Diane nodded wisely. "Uh-oh."

"I was getting the usual static from my parents and from Drake," Emily explained. "Yes, they trust Jacob, but no, they don't think he's the kind of man I should get involved with. Yes, they like Jacob, but no, he's not right for me. Not the right social background. Divorced. Too hard. Too dangerous. I'll only get hurt. And so on."

"So what did you do?"

Emily looked down at her hands. "I tried to run a bluff."

"How?"

Emily sighed. "I told them that if they tried to manipulate Jacob into leaving me alone, I would sell my shares in Ravenscroft International to the first buyer who came along. Jacob walked into the room just as I was making my grand stand."

"Oh, my God." Diane groaned and collapsed back against the counter.

"I made a major tactical error," Emily said grimly. "Jacob instantly jumped to the conclusion that I was conducting my big scene in order to retaliate against my parents. He thought I was using him and my shares in RI to get even with them for all their interference in my life."

"I gather he took exception to the way you handled the big confrontation?"

"He was furious," Emily said quietly. "He refused to listen when I tried to explain that I had only done it to protect him."

"Of course he did, you idiot. What man wants to think he needs protection, or worse, that his woman thinks she has to protect him?"

Emily closed her eyes in silent misery. "I guess I really blew it, didn't I?"

"Sounds like it," Diane agreed rather heartlessly. But there was an underlying sympathy in her voice when she added soothingly, "I have a hunch it will all work itself out in the end, though."

"What makes you think that?"

"Simple. Jacob wants you too much to let this situation go on very long. And you want him. You're in love with the man, Emily. Admit it."

"I'm in love with him." It wasn't hard to admit. She had known it on one level or another for almost five years. The knowledge was a part of her now. "But, Diane, he doesn't realize the danger he's in. He does need protection from my family, whether he wants to acknowledge it or not. They don't want him involved with me, and they'll find a way to get rid of him if I don't use those shares as a real threat. My stake in RI is all I have with which to control them."

"How can your family put pressure on him to get him to leave you alone?"

"They'll find a way," Emily predicted morosely. "It might be something very subtle, such as suggesting to him that he's no good for me and that if he cares for me he'll exit, stage right."

"Hmm. Interesting approach. Think Jacob would fall for it?"

"He might, if it was handled cleverly enough. After all, Jacob has a deep sense of loyalty to Ravenscrofts in general and to my father in particular. If Dad went to him and told him he should sacrifice his relationship with me for my sake, it's possible Jacob would believe him. Or Dad might try another tactic. Who knows? That's the whole problem."

"So you thought you'd short-circuit your family by making it clear you'd dump the shares in RI if they made any kind of move to get rid of Jacob." Diane hesitated. "You know something, Emily, that was pretty gutsy of you. There must have been a nuclear explosion after you delivered your ultimatum."

"I don't know. Jacob rushed me away before I had a chance to see how my family took the blackmail. They aren't accustomed to me taking a firm stand with them, though. The only other occasions I've really stood up to them were when they refused to give me a loan for this shop and when they wanted me to surrender my seat on the RI board of directors."

"You know something, Emily?" Diane murmured. "I've always kind of wondered why you didn't give up that seal. You're not really interested in RI. Why did you take a stand on that issue?"

Emily shrugged. "I had no choice. I made a promise."

"To yourself?"

Emily shook her head quickly. "No. To Grandmother. That's not important now. The important thing is, what am I going to do about the disaster I've created with Jacob?"

"I give up. What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." Emily fiddled with some vines she frequently used as backdrop
greenery for her arrangements. "I just don't know. Maybe this is the end of it.
I haven't heard from Jacob since I left yesterday morning."

"Be fair, Emily. He hasn't heard from you, either."

"He wants an apology for the way he thinks I used him."

"Are you going to apologize?"

"Diane, I didn't use him! I was trying to protect him. If he can't realize that, what hope is there for any kind of real relationship between us?"

"What hope is there for any kind of real relationship if you don't start communicating with him?" Diane asked reasonably.

A wave of despair and panic washed over Emily. "You're right, I guess."

"You're dealing with a man's ego here, Emily. That is not one of nature's more rational creations."

"Why do women always have to be the reasonable, rational ones? It's not fair," Emily protested, knowing now she was fighting a losing battle. She'd lost enough battles in her life to recognize the signs.

"Nature is not always inclined to play fair."

Emily picked up a handful of flowers. "Right again. I might as well bite the bullet and apologize, even though I have absolutely nothing to apologize for. You know, Diane, this really goes against the grain."

Diane laughed. "Spoken like a true Ravenscroft. Never give an inch."

"I wasn't planning on giving inches. I think I'll send the traditional apology."

"What's that?"

Emily smiled wryly and held up a rose. "The problem is," she said sadly, "even if he accepts the apology, we're still back to square one. Since he won't let me blackmail my family with those shares, I have no other way to protect our relationship. My family will start trying to wear us down as soon as they know the shares are safe. How long can a love affair last under those circumstances?"

"You won't know until you try. First step is sending the roses."

The two dozen yellow roses arrived just as Jacob was throwing the last pair of jockey shorts into his overnight bag. He answered the doorbell impatiently, intent only on getting rid of whoever stood on the other side. It was going to be a long drive to Seattle and he wanted to get going.