Fuck Valentine's Day (14 page)

2

The
next morning I wake up and have to force myself out of bed. It's a
weekend which makes things so much worse. On days when I have class,
I have a purpose, an obligation that I have to fulfill. On weekends,
I just wait around for something to happen. Today, my roommate comes
home early looking happier than usual. I wonder if she scored with
the other chick, but I hope not. If so, then she's setting herself
up for failure because that girl, whose name I don't know, is the
type that grows up and looks for a guy like Rick. They get married
and have babies and think they're happy because that's what people
like Rick and this other girl do. They think they're happy because
they don't know any better. I do. Not because I know what it's like
to be happy, but because I know what it's like to be miserable. If
you live your whole life in the darkness, then you don't have any
trouble recognizing the light.

“
There's
a party at one of the frat houses tonight, do you want to go?”

“
Which
one?” I ask. Lacey, my roommate, doesn't know because she
doesn't give a shit about frat houses. She doesn't give a shit about
men at all. I wish I was like her. Maybe if I was into girls, I'd
have an easier time falling in love with someone that wasn't a
complete piece of shit? But then again, Rick isn't a complete piece
of shit, and I don't want to fall in love with him either.

Lacey
shrugs and takes off her sweater, tossing it over her computer chair.

“
It's
tonight at six, do you want to go?”

“
Any
party that starts at six is a party that I'm not interested in,”
I tell her as I stand up and stretch. Lacey gives me a weird look,
and I notice that my skirt's ridden up a bit. I push it down and
gather up some clothes. I feel disgusting. I didn't change last
night, and I can feel that guy's sweat all over me.

“
Come
with me, please,” Lacey begs, and I know she's afraid to go
alone because her girlfriend might ignore her and run off with some
frat boy. It's happened before. “I'll give you twenty bucks.”

“
Keep
your money,” I tell her as I grab a towel and the basket that
holds my shampoo. “I'll go, okay? I'll meet you here
tonight.”

“
Five
thirty,” Lacey says to me with a smile as she brushes a comb
through her pretty, blonde hair. “I don't want to be late.”
I try not to roll my eyes and tell her that nobody gives a fuck if
you're late to a frat party.

“
Sure,”
I say as I leave the room in a hurry, rushing to get to the bathroom
before everyone else does. There's this communal atmosphere that
descends over the room when there's more than three girls in the
bathroom at one time. I don't understand it, and it makes me
uncomfortable. I never join in the conversation and have to use the
stall at the very end, the one with the broken faucet, so I don't
have to look at them looking at me and wondering what the hell is
wrong.

I
get to the bathroom just in time and manage to shower, get dressed,
and put on makeup before anybody else comes in. When they do,
they're all wearing blue and yellow face paint and talking about
the game.
I don't know if it's
football or basketball or baseball, but what I do know is that it's
an integral part of their lives that I don't understand. I leave as
quickly as I can and head back to my room, toss my stuff on the floor
next to my bed, and stand there for a very, very long time.

When
I spy the book on the desk next to my bed, I feel a sense of relief.
Reading. I can get lost in a world and spend days there. Besides,
reading a book gives me a goal. It's that sense of purpose that puts
a temporary bandage over my uncertainty and lets me waste away the
rest of the day without anymore negative thoughts.

Books by C.M. Stunich

The Seven Wicked Series

Houses Novels


• The House of Gray and Graves
  
• The House of Hands and Hearts
  and Hair
  
• The House of Sticks and Bones
  

The Huntswomen Trilogy


• The Feed
  
• The Hunt
  
• The Throne
  

Indigo Lewis Novels


• Indigo & Iris
  
• Indigo & The Colonel
  
• Indigo & Lynx
  

Never say Never Trilogy


• Tasting Never
  
• Finding Never
  
• Keeping Never
  

Stand Alone Novels


• She Lies Twisted
  
• Hell Inc.
  
• DeadBorn
  
• Broken Pasts
  
• Fuck Valentine's Day
  

About
the Author

C.M.
Stunich was raised under a cover of fog in the area known simply as
Eureka, CA. A mysterious place, this strange, arboreal land nursed
Caitlin's (yes, that's her name!) desire to write strange fiction
novels about wicked monsters, magical trains, and Nemean Lions
(Google it!). She currently enjoys drag queens, having too many cats,
and tribal bellydance.

She can be
reached at [email protected], and loves to hear from her readers.
Ms. Stunich also wrote this biography and has no idea why she decided
to refer to herself in the third person.

Happy reading and carpe diem!

www.cmstunich.com