Ah'bi
wiped away the tears that had started trickling down her face
despite her near-legendary self-control. "Please be
considerate of the Guadel in this trying time, as well of any of
your peers that might have known the fallen. There are many who
will be greatly affected by the loss of two with such potential.
You're free to go to lunch now."
It
could have been Jain's imagination, but it seemed almost as though
Ah'bi's gaze rested on her for a split second longer than it had the
others.
Who
do I know that this would affect? Oh no! Va'del. They were to
sponsor him.
Jain
pushed her way past the other girls, most of whom were leaving the
room at a more sedate, sorrowful pace. A couple of them shot her
nasty looks, but with any luck most of them would just assume she
was overcome by distress and seeking a place of solitude.
The
teenager ran down the hall towards the stables, frantic with worry
that she might not get to Va'del before someone else told him the
two Guadel were dead.
Jain
came around the last corner and all but ran into a surly-looking man
who was nearly as wide as some of the guards.
"What
are you doing here, missy? I can't imagine that your instructors
granted you permission to be running around without supervision."
For
a second she was breathing too hard to answer, but she finally
managed to get words past her gasps. "I'm sorry, sir. I
wouldn't have come here but I need to talk to Va'del. Where is he?"
The
stable master shook his head. "You didn't answer my question,
but I don't suppose as it matters because Va'del isn't here. He's
long overdue to be watering the beasts. If you see him, tell him
he'd better get here soon or I'll be for whipping him in front of
the other apprentices."
Jain
had turned and started off at a run again before the words had even
died on the air.
His
rooms? I don't even know for sure where they are. The pool, he has
to be at the pool.
It
took only another minute or so for Jain to reach the section of
corridors that led to the hot spring where she met Va'del whenever
she could sneak away from the dormitories. The glow spheres were
only placed in the corridors that were regularly traveled, so she
was forced to slow to a walk once out of sight of their soft light
or risk colliding with a wall in the darkness.
Panting
as she was, Jain half expected Va'del to challenge her before she
even made it all the way to the cavern, but only silence greeted her
as she rounded the last corner.
"Va'del,
it's me, Jain. Are you here?"
There
was no reason to think there was anyone else in the cavern,
certainly no breathing other than hers stirred the warm air, but
Jain had to be sure so she reached out to the energy she was still
learning to manipulate, and shaped it into a tiny ball of light.
The
scene that confronted Jain was enough to bring tears to her eyes.
Va'del sat on the edge of the pool, with a tiny knife in his right
hand and tears staining his face.
"Don't
try to stop me, Jain. There isn't anything left for me. I can't
become a candidate and everyone hates me here, just like they hated
me back home. Everyone who's ever really loved me is dead. My
parents, I'rone, Betreec and Jasmin. Everyone."
Jain
wanted to break into sobs, but she controlled herself despite the
tears slowly escaping her eyes. "I'm so sorry, I came looking
for you as soon as I heard."
Va'del
shook his head, dully, almost as if he didn't hear her. "It
doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore."
Jain
carefully sat down. "I can't stop you physically, or even
using magic for that matter. I'm the weakest of all the girls in my
year. Before you do it, will you at least tell me what happened?
All of it. If I'm going to watch you kill yourself I at least want
to know the truth about what brought you to this point instead of a
bunch of silly rumors."
Jain
felt her heart break as Va'del looked at her with the eyes of a
wounded animal, and she momentarily wondered if he was too far gone
to even understand her. After a few heartbeats Va'del opened his
mouth and told her about his childhood, about the ephemeral,
barely-remembered parents that he thought must have loved him, and
about cruelty that equaled or surpassed anything that had been done
to him at the Capital.
Jain
crept over and wrapped her arms around Va'del as he started talking
about the trio who had sponsored him, the first adults to treat him
like a real person, the first ones to answer his questions since his
parents had died.
As
he described their deaths, Jain felt tears of sympathy course down
her face at how badly he hurt, both now and then.
The
end of the tale recounted the cruelty of nearly everyone he met at
the Capital, as well as the seeming indifference of the two people
who had the power to punish him or grant his fondest
dreams.
As
Va'del finished, they both found that they'd cried themselves out.
Jain pulled back to wipe the tears from her face and had a sudden
realization. "That's the other reason you want to go on and
become a Guadel. Because of them. To honor their memory."
There
wasn't any need to ask who she was talking about and she wasn't
surprised when Va'del nodded. What did surprise Jain was the way
that he pulled away from her after he finished talking.
"What's
the matter?" The words sounded stupid considering what he'd
just finished telling her, but somehow he knew what she meant.
"You're
not going to want to hang out with me now. Not after you know what
I'm really like. That there isn't anything good about me."
Jain
felt another surge of emotion that had nothing to do with the fact
that Va'del was fingering the knife again.
"That
isn't true. There are so many good things about you, not the least
of which is that you care for people. You are so careful with their
feelings it hurts me to think how careless they are with yours."
Jain
slowly wrapped her arms back around around Va'del. "I don't
care what you think. I like you. Maybe more than like. I want to
be with you."
Va'del
was still gently rocking back and forth, but he wasn't playing with
his knife anymore. That was enough for now.
On'li
rubbed her temples as the other Council members finally trickled out
of the room. It was the kind of gesture that simply couldn't be
permitted when there were others present to notice the possible weakness,
but her head hurt too badly to do otherwise now that they were
alone.
Javin
helped her to her feet and then followed her out of the Council
room. She was so focused on the idea of using the short break to
get back to their rooms and eat, she almost ran into Per'ce before
realizing that the other Councilor was waiting for them.
"I
beg both your pardons. I imagine that you're quite anxious to get
back to Mar'li, but Sens'si and I would like to invite you back to
our chambers for a brief meal."
The
overture was so unexpected that On'li couldn't speak for a moment.
Javin was forced to answer on their behalf. "Of course, we
would be honored."
The
journey to Per'ce's rooms didn't even begin to last long enough to
properly consider all of the ramifications of the invitation. On'li
was mentally running through the probable bargaining chips that
would be dusted off and brought into the imminent negotiations when
Per'ce offered his guests chairs.
"Sens'si
will return shortly with the meal. I wonder if we might pass the
intervening time, however, discussing your impressions of our most
recent Council session."
"You
mean the panicked group of toothless old gurra that should have the
maturity required not to panic when things turn bad?"
Javin's
lips twitched as he suppressed a smile. Per'ce in turn smiled at
Javin's reaction and then nodded.
"Your
point is well taken. Much of what has been proposed today is little
more than desperate hoping. I'm glad to see that the current crisis
hasn't made off with your typical bluntness."
"Somebody
needs to be blunt around here. Nearly the entire Council has been
convinced that Va'del was the entire reason that I'rone and his
wives were killed. They've been looking for a scapegoat so they can
go on ignoring the fact that Betreec and the others were just plain
outclassed."
Per'ce
nodded once again. "I have my own share of reservations with
regards to the boy, but you're right when it comes to the response
of most of our fellows. This idea of bringing up lowlander
mercenaries, for instance, is very ill-advised."
The
trio fell silent as Sens'si returned, trailed by a pair of kitchen
workers. Once the boys had departed, Per'ce said a brief prayer
over the food and resumed.
"Any
soldiers brought up from the lowlands would invariably sicken and
die. It's unlikely that they would have the skills or the
constitution required to survive long enough to be of any use."
Javin
passed On'li a bowl of soup and shrugged. "If they don't die
off, we're just training the next batch of bandits."
Sens'si
accepted a slice of mushroom bread from her husband before looking
up gravely at her guests. "We aren't particularly worried
about the motion passing. There are enough others on the Council
who understand that our real security has always derived from the
fact that none outside the People know the safe routes up the
mountains, or even where our various enclaves are located."
Sensing
an opening, On'li leaned forward. "So what
are
you worried about? Surely you don't think the motion to suspend the
food caravans will pass? Even the biggest fools on the Council
would have to understand that would be the end of our civilization.
Once the flow of food and other necessities out from the Capital
ceases it will only be a matter of weeks or months until the outer
villages die off completely."
"No,
neither my husband or I really believe that will pass, although I
think you may be underestimating just how prepared certain members
of the Council are to get behind the idea and really push."
It
was Javin that cued in on the probable cause of concern. "You're
worried about Ja'dir?"
"Correct;
as you've no doubt noticed, we tend to favor the status quo.
Sens'si was approached by one of the wives of Ja'dir's contingent.
She'll remain nameless for now, but she was very concerned over a
proposal that Va'ma will be putting forward later today."
On'li
felt her eyebrows climbing in surprise. "If Va'ma is putting
it forward, then it's fully Ja'dir's idea. Does that mean one of
Ja'dir's contingent is actually dissatisfied enough that they're
working against him?"
Sens'si
shook her head. "I think that is perhaps putting things a bit
too strongly. Rather say that she feels Ja'dir's at the point of
going too far. He wants sanction to begin actively recruiting some
of the older daughters as wives for a select group of Guadel. He
desires to go beyond the two or even three wives that tradition
enshrines, and marry dozens if possible."
A
slight tremble to Sens'si's hand was the only signal that she was
just as horrified by the thought as On'li. "He's trying to
create some kind of elite warrior class? Doesn't he understand how
destabilizing it would be to concentrate that kind of power in the
hands of so few?"
Javin's
smile was a bitter, humorless thing. "He understands exactly.
That's the point. The bandits are just a useful pretext."
Per'ce
held a hand up. "I think it a bit premature to be calling him
a traitor."
"My
husband calls it as he sees it. Those wives won't do Ja'dir a bit
of good for months still. His mind will be too busy fighting them
for any augmentation to happen until after a real bond of trust is
developed. This proposal isn't aimed at stopping the bandits, and
it has all of the appearance of a coup in the making. It's our duty
to apprise the rest of the Council of the possibility."
Sens'si
placed a restraining hand on On'li's arm. "Please. We're not
ruling out the possibility, but you must understand that any more
infighting on the Council could be potentially fatal to the People
as a whole. We must resolve the current crisis before we start
worrying about Ja'dir's long-term goals."
On'li
almost shook the other woman's hand off, but Javin gently pulled her
back into her seat. "What do you propose?"
"We
need to kill both of the current motions before the Council and then
do the same with Ja'dir's plan to create super Guadel. Beyond that
we need to look to the decline of the Guadel as a whole and use this
crisis to put forward a solution that actually has a chance of
preventing further reduction in our numbers."
"Javin
and I have been on the Council long enough to know you and Per'ce
already have a plan. Let's hear it."
"We've
been studying the roles and registers that have survived the
centuries since the Exile and while the fact that the number of
Guadel has diminished is inescapable, there's an important
corollary. The women number nearly the same as always, it's the men
who are fewer and fewer each year."
On'li
leaned back in her chair and nodded. "That would tend to
explain the fact that by all accounts there are more multi-wife
pairings than were common when the Goddess walked with us."
Sens'si
nodded excitedly. "Exactly. The problem isn't the size of our
population, which is much larger than it was even just a few hundred
years ago. It's the fact that more and more of the outlying
villages know too much about the Guadel and the testing process.
It's becoming all but impossible to find boys who are suitable
material to become candidates."