From This Day Forward (23 page)

“The Nathan I know loves to dance. Why are you over here holding up the wall? Have you not seen all the ladies eyeing you?” Grinning, Patrick raised his glass. “Here is to you and Grandfather. You have not killed each other yet.”

“Should you not be dancing with all those ladies? Or have you given up finding a wife as Grandfather wishes?” Nathan peered at Rachel laughing at something Mr. Baker said. And then there was Mr. Chester hanging on her every word.

Patrick’s expression became serious. “She will not approach you. You will have to approach her.”

“Who is ‘she’?” Nathan asked while his gaze stayed glued to Rachel, now going out on the floor with Mr. Peterson.

“You know who I am referring to.” Patrick glanced over his shoulder at Rachel. “Ask her to dance. You have barely said two words to each other since your arrival.”

“It looks like she has enough partners to keep her busy for a while.”

Patrick studied him for a long moment. “You are jealous.”

“No, I am not.”

His brother waved his hand. “You can protest all you want, but I don’t believe it.”

Nathan needed the subject of their conversation to change. He didn’t intend to discuss Rachel with anyone. They all assumed the reason he was helping her was because he was interested in her. They were wrong. He cared for her, of course, but he felt obligated to see her settled. That was all. Then he would go about his life as he had before she disrupted it.

“What did you and Sarah think you were going to accomplish with this little reunion between me and Grandfather?”

“Just that, a reunion. We want our family back together.”

“We cannot go back to the way things were. Too much has happened for that to ever occur.”

“He will not be around much longer. Since you were at the plantation last, he recovered, but he has yet to get his former strength back. Lately his gout has been giving him a lot of problems too. So much so, he has turned over most of the running of the plantation to me.”

“He must not be doing well. Why didn’t you come get me?”

Patrick’s eyebrows rose. “You would have come to Pinecrest after what Grandfather did the last time you were there? Demanding Rachel and her maid leave?”

“I would have tried. You know I would have.”

“Yes, you would have, and he probably would have thrown you off the plantation again. He cannot throw you off
this
plantation. Try to see him before he leaves tomorrow.”

“I do not expect it to work, but I will see him.”

“Thank you.” Patrick inclined his head.

“In spite of what has happened in the past, I still love him. He is the one I followed around on the plantation. I wanted to grow up to be like him until I realized I did not love the same things he did. But I tried. I was willing to run Pinecrest and still be a doctor. There are other planters who are doctors.”

“What is stopping you from being a doctor now?”

Memories I cannot shake. Screams of men in pain. Sounds of cannon fire, which only signaled more wounded who would be brought to me. The sight of desperation in the men’s faces, wanting to live but knowing they were not going to make it through the night. And worse, the look on the English soldier’s face when I killed him.
“I am tired of losing my patients.”
Tired of being haunted by the memories
.

“How about the ones you have helped? Rachel. Grandfather. And that has only been recently.”

“When I trained to be a doctor, I had visions of helping others. Curing them. Easing their pain. I know that it was not realistic, but during the yellow fever epidemic, I thought I could do something to keep everyone from dying just because I wanted to.” Nathan laughed, but there was no merriment in the sound. “I have accused Rachel of being naïve, but I am as bad as she is.”

“You two have a lot in common.”

“Patrick,” Nathan said with a frown.

“I know. She is not to be discussed. I will leave you to contemplate your future. I see Anne is free, finally. At least this Stuart is going to dance.”

As his brother slipped through the people on the dance floor to approach the daughter of a neighbor, Nathan scanned the room for Rachel and found her participating in a reel with a son of a prominent merchant in Charleston. For a moment her gaze zeroed in on him, holding his full attention, until she swung away and was lost in the crowd.

Nathan then searched the large parlor, which had been cleared of some of its furniture to make an area for dancing. When he glimpsed his grandfather by the entrance alone, a grimace on his face, Nathan sighed. Perhaps it was the right time to approach him and see how he was. The ashen tint to his face worried him. From his pallor it appeared he was not spending any time outdoors, which was not like him whatsoever.

Nathan started toward his grandfather and saw him twist about and, using his cane, limp out into the foyer. Nathan followed him down the hallway to the library. As his grandfather entered the room and shut the door, Nathan hung back, not sure of the wisdom of bothering him when it was obvious he wanted to be alone. He and his grandfather had always liked their solitude, not like Patrick or Sarah. He could respect that. Perhaps he should talk with him tomorrow, before he returned to the farm.

Nathan hesitated. A niggling in the back of his mind prompted him to make his way to the library. Grandfather had not looked good. He had noticed his hair was damp. Had a fever returned? He had not been coughing, but still…

“Nathan, is your grandfather all right?” Rachel asked behind him.

Pivoting toward her, he noted the flush to her cheeks, the concern in her eyes. Sarah’s lavender gown fit Rachel perfectly after a few alterations, which she had done the evening before. The color heightened her beauty even more, and the short sleeves and scooped neckline emphasized her femininity. This was his opportunity to ask her to dance.

“I am not sure. He didn’t look well. I was going to check on him. For the past half hour he has been standing off by himself. That is most unusual for him at a party like this.”

“Then I will not keep you. I hope he is fine.”

“You can say that after he threw you off his land?”

She tilted her head. “Yes. I don’t want any harm to come to him. He is your grandfather. I don’t agree with his blanket hatred of anyone English, but I can see his side. He lost two very important people in the Revolutionary War. Losing a child would be the worst tragedy. I know that since I have had Faith.”

“After I check to see if he is all right, would you dance with me?”

She smiled, a smile that brightened her eyes and gave her a radiant glow. “I would love to. I will wait out here. I don’t want your grandfather to get angry because he sees me.”

Nathan stepped close—so near that her scent of roses, from a special soap she had brought all the way from England—surrounded him. “I am sorry about our argument earlier. I don’t want us—”

She pressed her gloved fingers against his lips. “We have to be able to express our feelings and concerns. The fight was just as much my fault as yours. Seeing your grandfather did not make matters better.”

He clasped her hand and turned it so he could raise her palm and kiss it. “My grandfather does not deserve your compassion. Wait here and I will be back in a few minutes after I satisfy myself that he is fine.”

Nathan crossed to the door of the library and pushed it open a few inches. Peering inside, he saw his grandfather standing in the middle of the room, his back to Nathan, his cane moving back and forth as though he had tremors.

Nathan went into the library, leaving the door ajar. “Grandfather?”

His grandfather shifted around partway, his dilated eyes fixing on Nathan. Sweat rolled down his face. He wobbled then crumpled to the floor. Nathan surged forward and caught him before his head hit the wooden planks.

Nathan eased the old man down and brushed his hand across his forehead. Heat burned his fingertips.

“Rachel,” Nathan called out.

She hurried into the library. “What is wrong?”

“Get John and Patrick. Grandfather has had a relapse.”

As she left, Nathan turned back to his grandfather, who started shivering, curling up and clutching himself. Nathan had seen this many times before. This wasn’t the same ailment he’d had six weeks ago. This was malaria.

Twelve

“George has agreed to take you all home to the farm. I should be along in a day or so. Until then he will stay there. I wish you would stay here. Sarah would love your company.” Nathan stood in the upstairs hallway at Liberty Hall outside the room his grandfather was in.

“There’s so much that needs to be done at home. Besides, for the past two days your sister has had company. I am sure she would appreciate some quiet.”

“True. ’Tis hard enough all the work she normally has to do to be the mistress of a plantation, but now that she is with child she needs to rest.”

“She told me she feels fine, better than with Sean.”

“She would tell you that to keep me from worrying about her.”

“How did you talk Mr. Baker into staying with us?”

“It was not hard. He fancies himself in love with Maddy.”

“I thought that. I think she returns his affection.”

“Grandfather has had malaria before. Hopefully, he will recover as he did last time. I have given him cinchona bark and I am trying to keep his fever down. Otherwise ’tis out of my hands.”

“And in the Lord’s. We shall be all right. Nothing else has happened in the past three weeks. Whoever was in the swamp has moved on. I cannot see anyone wanting to live in such a vile place.” Rachel shivered, remembering the few times she had gone a short distance into the bog around her farm.

“You could cultivate the low-lying areas with rice and indigo. That would produce more money.”

“We can talk when you come back to the farm. Right now, concentrate on your grandfather.” Because if he didn’t, he would blame himself if his grandfather died. Rachel did not want that for Nathan. He carried enough guilt because of the soldiers he could not save and Eliza and her baby. Impulsively she reached up and brushed her lips across his cheek. “This may be your opportunity to repair your relationship with him. I shall not be around to distract your grandfather.”

She pulled back, but Nathan grasped her upper arms and hauled her against him. He angled his head and slowly lowered it until their mouths met in a deep kiss. He wrapped her in an embrace that plastered her to him.

Leaning back, he seized her gaze, a smoldering look in his eyes. “I have wanted to do that for weeks. I know ’tis not wise…” He swallowed hard, averting his glance. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. It will not happen again.”

He separated himself from her and stepped away then pivoted and wrenched open the door of his grandfather’s bedchamber.

Rachel wilted back against the wall, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she gulped in air to fill her lungs. The sensations his kiss created caused her heartbeat to race. Finally she made her way downstairs on trembling legs. She clutched the banister to keep herself upright. Only the sight of Mr. Baker, Maddy, Faith, Ben, and Emma waiting for her at the door reinforced the need not to give in to the feelings Nathan aroused in her.

Emma ran to the staircase and took her hand. “Liberty is in the cart ready to go home.”

Home
. The word came so easily to the child’s lips. “Is that what you are going to call the puppy?” Rachel slipped her arm around the little girl, dressed in another gown she had sewn for her.

“Ben cames up with the name. I like it. He is goin’ t’ be as big as Jasper.”

Where was she going to come up with enough money to get the necessary supplies to make the farm profitable and still feed all the people and animals? The last trip into Charleston had taken the rest of her money she brought from England. Now all she had was what she got from sewing. In a couple of months, if all went well, she would have cash from the crops. She stared at all the people she was responsible for and a heaviness weighed on her.

Somehow, Lord, You will provide. Worrying does no good
.

Although common sense dictated the wisdom in those words, she could not totally rid herself of worry. She had four mouths to feed. She could not let them down.