from Pain to Pleasure (Gainesville Book 1) (3 page)

Brian squeezed her neck a bit more, all rationality gone. “You wanted him to fuck you. Didn’t you? You stupid bitch.” He banged her head against the door. “No other guy would ever want you. You’re damaged and pathetic. Ugly fucking whore.”

“Please… Brian,” she softly begged. “I—I… would… never…. cheat… on you.” It was hard for her to speak.

He slowly put her back on the floor. “No, you won’t. Because if you do, I’ll kill you.” He let her neck go and grabbed a handful of her hair. “That little display will get you your favorite thing.” He began to pull her to the bed.

“No. Please. I’m sorry. Brian, you said you changed.” She tried to pull away, but he yanked her. His fingers dug into her skin.

He threw her down on the bed and straddled her waist. Blind rage consumed him. He wrapped his hands around her neck. “Wanna see what’ll happen if you cheat on me?” He tightened his grip and watched her struggle to get air into her lungs. It turned him on to see her helpless. It always had. He knew he was twisted, but he never cared until it was over and too late.

When he finally let go, Danielle was lightheaded. She breathed deeply as she tried to gain control of her body. She had to get away before he really hurt her. Carefully, she looked around for an opening. Then a slap to the face stunned her.

“If you so much as look at another guy while I’m away, my friends will let me know.” Brian glared at her. “I got eyes all over the campus.” He looked down at her almost naked body and smiled. “Maybe I should spank you before I give you what’s coming to you.” He did that at times to humiliate her.

Quickly, he flipped her over and ripped off her panties. Then he slapped her butt several times. It made her cry out each time. A nice red mark formed. For a second, he stared at her scars.
Maybe I’m treating her as badly as her dad
. Then he remembered Alex, and the fury increased.

Danielle tried not to cry or complain. She knew that would make it worse, but her cheek stung. He hit her other one, and she cringed. At least he didn’t use a belt like her dad did. A whimper escaped as his palm connected again. She was glad her punishment wasn’t what she expected.

“OK.” Brian opened his pants. “Now that your ass is good and sore, it’s time for your pussy to hurt, too. You aren’t letting any other guy in there unless I say so.”

Her eyes opened wide, and she started to scurry away. “No. No. No. No.”

Brian grabbed her by the arm and jerked her back. “I don’t think so.” He grinned as he pinned her down on her back. “You know what fighting gets you. Right?” Her eyes opened wide, and she shook her head. “Too late. You tried to avoid punishment.” He climbed on the bed and straddled her neck. “Open up, now!”

With trembling lips, she opened her mouth and closed her eyes. In seconds, she gagged. Reactively, her teeth grazed his skin. A slap made her remember the penalty for biting. She had to fight the reflex to vomit, or he would retaliate.

His mind spun with the madness within it. “You’re not allowed to talk to that Alex guy, either!” He pulled out of her mouth and flipped her over. Her legs hung off the bed. “If I catch you even looking at him…” He shoved her face into the mattress. “Bitch, this is what you get for just thinking about cheating on me.”

Danielle’s vision faded. She couldn’t even get a little air in. She was sure he was trying to kill her. A condom packet was opened, but it didn’t matter. She didn’t feel a thing anymore. If he killed her, at least her suffering would be over.

Brian smirked when she stopped moving. He let her go and spread her legs. “You’re gonna wake up crying, Dani.” He smacked her one final time and grinned.

* * *

She woke up on the floor, her mouth and most of her body sore. The room was quiet as if she were alone. She got up and quietly cried from the pain. On the bed, Brian slept. How he could commit such atrocities, and then fall asleep, boggled her mind. It was as if he were not capable of remorse.

She slowly walked to the bathroom as she softly whimpered. She felt dirty, so she took a shower. Within seconds, she noticed a red tinge to the water at her feet. Brian had made her bleed again. She hoped Alex did not have a penis as big as Brian. Brian’s didn’t fit inside of her. He didn’t care about that, though. When they had sex, Brian rammed into her as hard as he could and usually hit her cervix deep inside. Hours later, she ached but usually not as much as she did at that moment.

After she had gotten dressed, she quietly packed her things. Tears fell. Her plan was to take money from Brian and call a cab from the lobby. Every little sound she mistakenly made terrified her. She didn’t want him to hear her leave. He knew where her dorm room was, but she had nowhere else to go. She hoped he would be afraid to retaliate at school. Agonizingly, she walked to the door, bag over her shoulder.

Just as she opened the door a bit, Brian shut it and held it closed. He had heard the floor creak and looked up to see her tears while she packed. He could see the pain in her eyes. That’s when he knew he had gone too far. Confusion flooded his mind. Inside, he struggled to regret hurting her. He knew he should care more.

Danielle tensed in fear. She prayed he wouldn’t punish her yet again. When he didn’t move, she shuddered.
What’s he waiting for?
She stood there, sure retaliation would be even worse than punishment had been.

“I’m so sorry,” Brian whispered in her ear instead. “Please don’t leave. I won’t do it again. I didn’t want to hurt you. I couldn’t stop myself. I promise I won’t hurt you again if you just come to bed with me. Please.” He meant every word. His mood had swung way down.

Danielle closed her eyes, unsure. She was scared that if she left, he would make her pay. However, she was tired of being blamed for things she didn’t do. She had heard apologies before. He still attacked her yet again. That night was the worst ever. He had never made her pass out.

“Dani, just take your clothes off and let me hold you. Please,” he pleaded. He stroked her hair when he saw the red marks around her neck. “I love you, and I know you love me.”

As always, she gave in. She put her bag down and slowly walked to the bed with him. She bit her lip to hold in the tears from her pain. He helped her get undressed. Then they lay down and faced each other.

Brian fought the fear her body against his created while he tried to sleep. He rarely held her in bed because of it. Memories started to surface in his mind. The beatings were bad, but at night… He pulled her closer to try to will the images away. That made it worse.

* * *

The first night his father came into his bedroom, he was 12. Everyone else was asleep. When the lamp next to his bed came on, Brian looked up at his dad. “Something wrong?”

“Ssshh, just lay on your belly and relax.”

Brian didn’t understand. “Why?”

“Don’t worry.”

He did as told and closed his eyes. Then he felt a hand on his back.

“You’re really growing up now.”

When the hand slid under his pajama bottom, Brian froze. Then he tried to scream when they were yanked down. A hand clamped over his mouth. He could do nothing but whimper as his father climbed onto his bed.

* * *

Danielle felt him shiver and knew what was happening. He had told her every detail of his abuse. She had shared just as much. He couldn’t abuse her any more that night.

“It’s OK.” Danielle ran a hand through his hair. Holding her was difficult for him. She knew he did it to prove he really could change. “I’m right here.”

“I’m so sorry.” He fought to hold back the tears while the memory faded. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m not my dad. I swear.” He sniffled and kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry I hurt you so bad. I’ll never force you again. I don’t wanna be like him.”

The next morning, Brian drove Danielle to school. She was in pain just sitting in the passenger seat. How she would get through the day was beyond her. As they drove through the campus, she shifted to try to ease the pain. Instead, that made it worse.

“God, I’m so sorry.” Brian reached over and took a hold of her hand. He watched her grimace as she gripped him hard. “Maybe I should bring you to a doctor. They’ll give you prescription pain meds.”

She looked at him. “They would want to examine me.”

“Oh.” He hadn’t thought of that. They would ask about the bruises. If they saw how much damage he had done with his hands and hips, he would be in jail in seconds. “I can say I have a migraine.”

She looked out the window as students rushed into buildings. “If you want to, but I need to get to class. Can’t be late on the first day.”

“I’ll have something for you when I pick you up, OK?”

Danielle had kissed him goodbye before she climbed out of the SUV. “OK. Thanks.” She slowly walked to her history class, while Brian drove away.

“Hi, Danielle.” Alex had grabbed the door before she got a chance to open it.

She smiled at him while she checked that Brian was truly gone. He was. “Hi.”

“What happened?” He saw a bruise just under her sleeve.

She pulled her sleeve down just as Alex lifted it. She didn’t want him to see the mark from when Brian yanked her. “It’s nothing. I just bumped into a doorknob.”

He knew she lied from the fear in her eyes. “OK.” He didn’t want to scare her off. He liked her so much that he told his brother Nathan about her. Never had he mentioned anyone to him by name before. “That’s a nice scarf.”

Danielle absently touched it. Brian had bought it at the hotel’s gift shop. “Um… Thanks.”

Alex thought he saw a mark on the back of her neck. When her hair moved, it was just above the scarf. However, couldn’t be sure. He probably tried to find another reason to hate Brian other than the fact he had the girl Alex wanted.

He changed the subject. “You’re taking American History?”

“Yes. I love history.”

“I’m in this class, too.”

They walked into the room and found seats next to each other. Danielle almost screamed when she sat down. She gripped the desk in front of her until her knuckles turned white. Her eyes closed as she fought tears and whimpers.

“Did you hurt something else?” Alex was angry. He assumed correctly that Brian had hit her. “You seem to be in a lot of pain.”
If she says that bastard hurt her, I’m gonna tear him a new asshole
.

She managed a quiet, “I’m OK.”

Throughout the class, Alex watched her. She cringed when she moved and didn’t do it often. He couldn’t tell what part of her body really hurt, but he got a better look at the bruise on her arm when she pulled out her notebook. It looked like fingers or something; oddly shaped.
No way was it from a doorknob
.

The entire day, Alex could not stop thinking of Danielle. Girls didn’t get to him. It made no sense at all. The bruise on her arm had him worried, though. Since she was tight-lipped about it, he tried to think of a way to find out without asking. Other than following her around, he didn’t come up with anything. Stalking her was not smart. Then she would never talk to him.

He got his chance when he saw her walk the campus after his last class. Her gait told him something was seriously wrong. He hurried to catch up with her. “Danielle! Wait up.” He was surprised when she turned around.

“Hi,” she said meekly when he walked up to her.

The grin was automatic. “Hi.” Then his expression turned serious. “I don’t mean to pry, but there’s a clinic on campus. I’ll take you there. They can help.” He put a hand on hers.

She pulled back fast. “No. Please. I can’t.” She walked away, quickly. Her heart pounded. That meant he noticed more than just the bruise on her arm.

“Wait, Danielle,” Alex called after her as he hurried to catch up. When he reached her, he matched her pace. “Hey, I’m sorry if I said something wrong, but you’re in pain. What really happened?”

She used the old standby. “I fell and hurt my arm and leg.” She could tell he knew she lied.

“OK, if you say so.” He wanted to make her tell him but knew that would backfire.

Danielle could sense that if she had the guts to tell him the truth, he would help her. Her fear of Brian and hope that he really could change overruled that idea.

“Can I walk you to the dorm?” He grinned and hoped it swayed her.

She glanced at him, and her heart beat faster. He had the sweetest smile. If only she were free to make her own choices. Then they could at least be friends. Brian’s words from the night before echoed in her head.

“I can’t.” She frantically looked around, after she had realized she had forgotten they were in public. “I have to go.”

Stunned, Alex watched her walk away. She took careful steps. His instincts told him he needed to intervene. That she needed to be saved. When she was out of sight, he hurried to find her again. He stood still and followed her with his eyes as she approached a large SUV. Brian was in the driver’s seat. Once she climbed into the vehicle, he sighed. Neither of them smiled at each other. He didn’t get it.
What’s the point of being a couple if neither of them are happy?

Friday, after Danielle’s last class, she was on her way to meet Brian when Alex caught up with her. Before he could say a word, she blurted out, “You can’t walk with me. I keep trying to tell you. Please. He’ll see you.”
If Brian knew, he would…
She closed her eyes, to calm down.

She and Alex had become friends, although she shied away when he touched her. It wasn’t because she hated his touch. It was because she liked it so much, it terrified her. They got along so well. It was strange. She loved to talk to him, but Brian’s cohorts could catch her. That was a risk she could not take.

“What’s the big deal?” Alex gave her his best smile, which worked with every other girl. He couldn’t understand why she always pushed him away when they started to get close. “It’s not like I’m kissing you. Not that I don’t want to.”

“Please.” She looked around, nervously.

They were out of sight from the parking lot, but Brian could get out and search for her. Then she saw Diego. He and another of Brian’s friends, Sebastian, had stopped in her classes several times that week to check on her. Diego frightened her more than the rest. He reminded her of Brian. His eyes showed the evil in his soul.