From Now Until Infinity (2) (9 page)

I grab a napkin and pen and quickly scratch my song request on it. Colin looks at me questioningly. I ignore him and take a five dollar bill out of my purse. I make my way through the crowded tables to put the napkin and money on the piano. The piano player picks up the napkin and reads it. Then, she flashes me a wink and knowing smile.

I almost hug myself. I’m so pleased with how clever I am. When I sit back down, Colin leans over and whispers in my ear, “What did you do?”

I smile at him and lean in so he can hear me, “I’m just having a little fun. Trust me.” I kiss him on the cheek and squeeze his knee as he pulls me close to him. I cuddle into his side basking in his attention.

I anxiously wait for my song to be played by the piano players. Colin and I sing loudly to
Sweet Caroline
(which I think is a particularly fabulous song)
, YMCA,
and
All the Single Ladies.
I’m on my second rainbow and having a blast. Colin and I are so carefree and young. It feels great.

Then, the first notes of my request begin to play. It’s the Aggie War Hymn. Colin smiles at me and gives me a fist bump. Sure enough, a guy with bleached blonde hair and lots of piercings and tattoos walks up to the stage and slaps down a twenty dollar bill and says, “LSU Fight Song.” The Aggie War Hymn stops and the LSU Fight Song begins to play. Colin looks at the blonde guy, smiles, and nods. Colin stands up and places two twenty dollar bills on the piano. The LSU Fight Song stops and the Aggie War Hymn continues where it left off. Colin and the other guy go back and forth laughing until I swear hundreds of dollars have been dropped for the Aggie War Hymn. Mr. Blondie holds his hands up in defeat to Colin, and the Aggie War Hymn is allowed to be played to completion.

I take it that Colin knows Mr. Blondie because he grabs my hand, and I follow him to the table where he’s sitting. Colin and the guy hug each other and perform some sort of secret hand shake. Colin motions toward the exit, and we follow Mr. Blondie and the girl that he’s with out of the piano bar and into the Pat O’Brien’s outdoor courtyard.

We grab a table near the beautiful fountain that has fire in the middle. When we’re settled, Colin has a chance to introduce me. “Caroline, this’s Tyler Alexander and his beautiful and very patient wife Liza. Ty’s a running back and one of my best friends. He’s also the guy who I told you about who lives in New Orleans during the off season and introduced me to the band that we saw play last night.”

I nod my head in understanding and extend my hand to Tyler and Liza. “The band was amazing. I really enjoyed them,” I reply shooting Colin a shy smile. I really enjoyed having animalistic sex with Colin to their music. Colin smiles back at me knowing what I’m thinking. “I’m Caroline Collins.”

Liza has a questioning look on her face. Colin picks up on her confusion. “Sasha and I are no longer speaking. Caroline and I dated for a couple of years and then took a few years off. Now, she’s mine.” He makes this statement as if he’s catching Liza and Tyler up on the weather in our part of the country.

Colin leaves the word “mine” dangling in the air. I look at Liza and Tyler’s faces. They’re perplexed. I know that Colin and I are going to have to have this conversation numerous times over the following weeks and months. I attempt to explain and put Colin’s dear friends out of their misery. Once again, Colin has blindsided his friends. He’s going to have to get better about communicating or at least warning people before they meet me. Then the
“what ifs”
start in my head again.
What if he didn’t tell them about me because he’s not planning on this being permanent? What if we accidentally ran into them? He didn’t tell me we were meeting his friends.

“Colin and I dated seriously in college. We were going to get married. Life took us in different directions. We’ve reconnected and realized that breaking up was a bad idea.” As I hear myself speak, I know that what I’m saying isn’t sounding any better. This is so hard and I sound like a hussy. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both. I hope that we can become friends also.”

Colin puts his arm around me reassuringly. Liza is the first to speak, “Caroline, I’m sorry if we’re a bit surprised. We were just expecting Sasha when we heard that Colin was in town.” Her words eliminate one of my
“what ifs.”
Colin just didn’t bother to tell me we were meeting friends. That shouldn’t make me feel better, but it does.

Before Colin can say anything, I speak up, “I know that this is sudden, but please give me a chance.”

Then, Colin adds, “Y’all, I’m getting a second chance at my first and only love. Please be happy for me.”

His words seem to melt the icy tension between us. Tyler picks up his beer and clangs it against Colin’s glass of water. Then, Liza and I join in doing the same. Tyler smiles. “Cheers to one of my best friends getting a second chance at love.”

I beam at Tyler. I want to hug him for accepting me and not making this any harder on Colin. I vow to make sure that Tyler and Liza never have a reason to question Colin’s decisions again. We spend the next couple of hours laughing by the fire fountain. I learn that Liza is a stylist. Her primary clients are rock and metal bands. She does their wardrobe for concerts, video shoots, awards shows, and public appearances. Tyler looks much more like a metal rock god then a football player. He has one full sleeve of tattoos and the other arm is a half sleeve. His nose and tongue are pierced, and he’s got plugs in both ears.

Liza is stunning. Her cold black hair is cut in a bob that just skims her jaw line. Her eyes are the clearest shade of blue. She is exotic and beyond gorgeous.

It turns out that Liza and Tyler met at the House of Blues when she was asked by Tyler’s manager to style his band. Tyler plays guitar and tours with his band during the off season. Liza said that she thought that she was dating a rocker and was shocked when he announced that he was heading to Dallas for training camp. They’re an adorable couple.

I’m in the middle of telling Liza about my big family, and I’ve had about four rainbows when I overhear Colin saying to Tyler, “I’m hoping that Charlie will see that not all players’ wives do the lunching lady thing.”

I can’t stop myself. I interject, “Colin, my name is Caroline.” Oh! This is so awkward. We were all getting along so well. Now, I have to explain the whole name thing.
Why couldn’t I just keep my big mouth shut?

Colin looks at me and rolls his eyes. “I’m sorry everyone. Caroline went through a name change.” He says it so demeaning that it makes me want to hit him.

I speak up, “Caroline has always been my name Colin. You just chose to call me Charlie. I’ve asked you not to.” Once again, Liza and Tyler are looking at me like I’m crazy and Colin is even crazier for giving me the time of day.

I decide to save face and apologize. “I’m sorry. Go ahead with your conversation. It’s not a big deal.” However, I’m furious. It’s probably the multiple rainbow drinks that I’ve had mixed with my hormonal swings. God only knows what and how many liquors are in them. I keep trying to calm myself down and focus on what Liza is saying but it’s no use.

I excuse myself and make my way to the restroom. I wait in a forever long line and then finally make my way into a stall. I do calming breath exercises and chastise myself for one too many rainbows. When I finally think that I have it together, I exit the stall and make my way to the sink. I splash cold water on my face and head back to the table.

Colin, Tyler, and Liza are in a serious discussion. I hang back and watch them. I know that it’s about me. Objectively, I can see how big of a shock this is for them. Liza had mentioned that Sasha sat with her at the football games. They obviously had become friends. Now, here’s Colin with a different girl and one that he seems to be so serious about so suddenly. I have to prove myself worthy of Colin’s love to his friends, and I’m prepared to do that.

When they spot me, they stop talking and all lean back to a more relaxed and comfortable positions. I lean over and kiss Colin on the cheek as I brush against him. He grabs me and makes quite a show out of kissing me back. Before I can sit down, he pulls my chair even closer to his. It’s an obvious display of marking his territory.

Not long after, Tyler and Liza make their excuses to leave. I pretend that I didn’t see the angst filled conversation and give both of them a hug and tell them that I can’t wait to hang out with them more in Dallas.

When they’re gone, Colin turns to me and looks very proud of himself. “Well, that went well.”

I study his face.
Is he kidding?
I don’t think that he is. “That was way awkward. Why didn’t you give Tyler a heads up that you and Sasha were over?’

“Fuck’em. If they aren’t happy for us, then I don’t want them as friends,” he says while he takes a swig of his water.

Oh God! He can be the biggest idiot on the planet. I have to make him understand that “fuck’em” is not an appropriate response to anything and anyone who doesn’t agree with him. “Colin, do you remember the first team party that you took me to in college?”

“Yeah. Sure. So?” He says defensively.

I ignore him and plow on, “Do you remember how angry I was that everyone knew me, and I didn’t have clue who they were?”

He nods his head and gives me the look of get on with the story.

“If you had talked about those people to me, I wouldn’t have felt blindsided. You’ve got a way of sharing such little bits of information that it rubs your friends and frankly your girlfriend the wrong way,” I explain.

He gives me a very sour look. I can tell that he doesn’t want to have this sort of conversation so new in our reconciliation. I don’t care and continue. “I assume that you asked Ty and Liza to meet us. I’d like to have been informed that we were meeting your friends. I would’ve been more prepared to deal with their questions. You should have told them on the phone a quick version of our story so we didn’t have to have the awkward conversation in person. You may have felt indifferent towards Sasha, but Liza clearly liked her. Liza and Sasha have a lot in common. Liza was expecting to see her friend. Instead, I’m here.”

I pause for a second and then take both of his massive hands in mine. “Baby, it’s not that they don’t like me. It’s that you went about introducing me all wrong to them. Can’t you see that?”

He finally shakes his head in confirmation. “So should I send out an email to everyone I know explaining that Sasha is gone and you’re back?”

Wow! That’s one of the most callous statements that I’ve ever heard. I drop Colin’s hands and grab my purse. I push my chair back and begin to make my way out of the courtyard toward the street. I’m not sure what my plan is, but I need some space from Colin.Fucking.McKinney. I can hear him behind me trying to push through the crowd to get to me.

He finally catches up to me outside of the bar. He grabs my arm, and I attempt to brush him off of me. After a brief struggle, he takes my shoulders and pushes my back against the brick wall. All 6’5” of him is towering over me, and he’s furious.

“You said that you wouldn’t leave me,” he spits.

“I’m not breaking up with you, you fucking idiot. I just need some space.” I lash back at him matching his intensity.

We stay like this staring into each other’s eyes. When I feel somewhat calmer, I explain. “Colin, this’s our first taste of what the next few months are going to be like. Your friends and teammates don’t know our history because most of them weren’t around when we dated your first year in the NFL. All they know is that you haven’t been publicly linked with that many women. Sasha came to your games and stayed at your house. She’s a very likeable person and a celebrity at that. They don’t understand how easily you could’ve walked away from her and be so serious about me so quickly. There are going to be lots of questions and speculation.”

“I don’t care what anyone thinks. All I care about is what you think,” he hisses at me.

“Well, that’s great, honey, but I do care.” I hiss right back at him.

“Fuck, Charlie. I’m serious.” He says as he runs his fingers through his hair in frustration. “What do you want me to do? Tell me how to handle our friends and family, and I’ll fuckin’ do it.” Colin says a little bit more calmly.

I take a deep breath, count to ten, and listen to the zydeco music playing on Bourbon Street. The festive mood is in stark contrast to our heated conversation. “Tell people before they meet me that you and Sasha are over. I don’t know, maybe explain that you and I’ve dated before. Colin, if you tell your friends something it’s better than you blindsiding them with me.”

“I don’t think that you understand, Caroline. You’re it. You’re what I care about. If Ty and Liza and whomever else can’t accept you, then fuck’em. The only person that I need is you.”

His words are very sweet, but I know that the two of us can’t live in this little world where it’s just us forever. He admitted on the plane ride over here that he hangs out on the weekends with his teammates. Colin’s got to see the bigger picture here. Our life will be richer if we’ve got couple friends that we can do things with. By thrusting me on them, he’s not buying us any deep friendships.

He grasps my arm and looks at me with pleading eyes. “Okay. So I might’ve fucked up by not warning Ty and Liza that I wasn’t bringing Sasha. Yeah! I should’ve told you that we were meeting friends. Please don’t be mad at me. I fuckin’ love you so much, Charlie. Just let me be happy for a little while before real life starts.”

My anger and frustration at him melts away. I struggle out from under his grasp and wrap my arms around his neck pulling him down to meet my kiss. I kiss him with the deepest passion possible. I transfer my anger at him into this kiss. He responds immediately and tangles his large hands in my hair. My abused, swollen lips catch a break when he starts kissing his way along my jaw line and down my neck.

We’re interrupted by the Pat O’Brien’s bouncer who asks us to move along. When Colin pulls away from me, I expect him to still be angry. Instead his looks like a guilty school boy. “Sorry, I guess we got a bit carried away,” he says to the man. He’s back to the ahh shucks, good ol boy Colin.