From Ashes (4 page)

She jumped and looked up at me, her brows pulled together in confusion and hurt. She didn’t say anything, just studied my face for a minute, before blowing out a deep sigh and standing up to walk toward their room.

“I’m sorry for reminding you about your dad. I didn’t know.” I still didn’t know. What did horses have to do with her dad?

Cassidy stopped walking and looked over her shoulder at me for a second, then continued to the door.

I stood there staring at the door, feeling like an ass, even after Tyler walked out of the room and started hooking a gaming system to the TV. Did telling Cassidy I’d teach her to ride really hurt her so much that the girl who asked why I didn’t dress like a cowboy just disappeared? Everything in me screamed to go to her and talk to her, but the shower started, so I turned back to the living room. I told Tyler I’d watch him play and flopped onto the couch. I tried not to picture Cassidy in the shower while I listened to the water running, but that was damn hard, so I focused as much of my attention as I could on Tyler shooting people and tried not to think about her and the hard-on I was trying to cover with a pillow.

When Cassidy came out less than an hour later, her hair was wild and slightly wavy, and she had less makeup on than last night too. She looked beautiful. Without all that dark stuff around her eyes and stuff on her face, her honey-colored eyes looked even brighter and you could see a splatter of very light freckles on her nose. Not saying she hadn’t looked gorgeous last night, because she did. She took my breath away. But I preferred this almost completely natural look. She was wearing green Chucks, jeans with the bottoms rolled up to her calves, and a worn black Boston concert shirt.
Boston. This girl is perfect.

“Ty, I’m ready.”

She still had yet to look at me since she walked in the room, and though I wanted her to, I was enjoying being able to take her in. I noticed her bottom lip was a little too full for her top lip, and her nose couldn’t have been more perfect if she’d chosen it herself. Her eyes flitted over to me quickly, then right back to Tyler; her cheeks got red and I couldn’t help but grin.
There’s no way she doesn’t feel this too.
She started biting her bottom lip, and again I thought about what it would feel like to kiss those lips. I’d never wanted to kiss a girl this damn bad.

“Tyler!” She tapped his leg with her foot and he looked at her, then back at the screen.

“What’s up?”

“I’m ready, are we going or not?”

“Yeah, just let me finish this match and we can go. Like eight minutes.”

I had already sat up when she entered the room so she could sit on the couch with me, and she was eyeing it now, but instead turned and went into the bedroom. She stayed in there while Tyler played two more matches and didn’t come out until he went to get her.

I took them all over Austin that afternoon, and while she was polite and would respond whenever I asked her a question, she wouldn’t hold a conversation with me and made sure she was always by Tyler’s side, farthest away from me. Maybe I was wrong about her feeling whatever this connection was, because she definitely didn’t seem like she was having a hard time not touching me. It was all I could do to not grab her hand and keep her by my side.

When we were on the way back, she asked if we could stop by the grocery store, and we let her take over the shopping after her third eye-roll at our food choices.

“Don’t worry,” Tyler whispered as she compared packages of ground beef, “she’s been cooking for herself since she was six; she’s better than my mom.”

I hadn’t been worried, and now that added just one more thing I wished I could have protected her from. Because my dad and I worked from sunup to sundown most days, I was only ever in the kitchen to help with dishes. I thanked Mom and my sisters daily for making the food, but I couldn’t imagine having to do it on my own when I was just a little kid. I’d have to thank them again.

Other than letting us carry the groceries in for her, she wouldn’t let us help put them away and immediately started on cooking dinner for the three of us. I lay down on the couch just watching her move around the kitchen while Tyler played his game again. At one point it looked like she started dancing for a few seconds before she stopped herself, and God, if that wasn’t the cutest thing I’d ever seen. When Ty was fully engrossed in the game, I got up and wandered into the kitchen, stepping right up behind her.

“Do you need help with anything?”

Her body tensed for a moment, and once it relaxed she turned her head up to look at me. “No, I’m fine. Thanks though.”

“Could I help anyway?”

She continued to watch me with that same hurt and confused look from that morning. “Yeah, sure. You can make the salad.” She grabbed a few things out of the fridge and brought them over to me before grabbing a couple more items that she’d bought at the store out of a bowl on the counter. “Dice these, and—wait, do you even like avocados?”

“I’ll eat anything, darlin’.”

Her mouth tilted up at the corners and her cheeks got red; I smiled to myself and made a mental note to call her that more often. “Well, if you don’t like them, I can just put them in my bowl.”

I grabbed the avocado from her and looked at it, a little confused. “Like I said, I’ll eat anything. But how do you cut this thing?”

She laughed lightly and took it from my hand, sliding the cucumber and tomato in front of me. “Dice these first, then I’ll show you how to cut the avocado.” She handed me a knife and turned back to the stove.

I was flat-out awful at dicing those vegetables, but being in the kitchen with her had me smiling the entire time, and whatever she was cooking smelled damn good. “I think I did it right.”

“There’s really no way to mess up dicing veggies for a salad.” She turned and looked. “You did it just fine. Haven’t you ever diced something before?” I shook my head and she grinned at me. “Really? Well you did great. Let me show you how to do these.”

She grabbed both avocados and handed me one of them before picking up her own knife. I’m not gonna lie, I purposefully kept messing up getting the seed out so that she finally had to reach over and grab my hands to show me what to do. I heard her intake of breath as soon as our hands touched, and I had to look away so she wouldn’t see how wide I was smiling.

Hell. Yeah.

She finished showing me how to cut up the avocado and had me grab bowls and plates while she finished up whatever was on the stove. Every time I looked at it, she’d turn me away and say I wasn’t allowed to see her secrets. I didn’t know what was going on all day, but she was now acting just like she had that morning. Every smile and every touch had me falling for her that much more.

I touched her arm so she’d look up at me and I almost forgot what I was gonna ask as soon as her eyes met mine. “Uh, did I upset you this morning? I swear I didn’t mean to. I had no idea about your dad.”

She looked down, then back to the stove. “I didn’t expect you to know about him. And what were you thinking upset me?”

“When I told you I’d teach you how to ride.”

Cassidy huffed and shook her head once. “No, Gage, that didn’t upset me. I would really like to learn how to ride, if you ever want to show me.”

Did she think I would offer if I didn’t want to? And would it be bad if I asked what those two things had to do with each other? “Of course I will. I mean, I heard what Tyler said, but I do think you’d like the ranch. I can’t wait to take you there.” Ah, too much. Too much.

“Sounds great.” She picked up a spoon, then set it right back down and put both her hands on the counter before looking back at me. Her mouth opened and her eyebrows pulled together, then she looked into the living room at Tyler and back at me. “Dinner is about ready,” she said softly, “would you mind putting the salad on the table?”

When I turned around with the bowls, I saw Tyler staring at us and held back a sigh. I was gonna get crap for this later.

Cassidy had made crispy chicken fettuccine Alfredo, and all I could say was damn. I had to agree with Tyler that it was better than Aunt Steph’s, and it rivaled Mama’s cooking.

I stood up to help when she started clearing the dishes, but Tyler stepped in front of me before I got far. “I’m serious, man, she’s mine.”

“I heard you the first time.”

“You sure about that?”

I glanced back at Cassidy. “Yeah, I’m sure. But you’re the one who brought her here; you can’t expect me to never talk to her, or offer my help when she’s making us food. If we’re all gonna live together, you need to get over the fact that I’m gonna be friends with her.”

He remained quiet and smiled, waiting for Cassidy to return to the kitchen. “I couldn’t care less if you’re friends with her. Just don’t forget that I’m the one who’s been there for her every day for the last eleven years. Not you. I still see how you’re looking at her, I’m not fucking blind, Gage.”

C
ASSIDY

“
I
’M KIND OF
tired, I’m going to bed. Thanks for showing us around today, Gage.”

Tyler stood and walked over to me. “Want me to come with you?”

I shot a quick glance behind Ty to Gage, who was openly glaring at his cousin. “No, you guys need to catch up, I’ll see you later.”

“Sleep well, Cassidy,” Gage said.

I smiled and waved like an idiot. “Night.”

Tyler hugged me and Gage winked when I looked over Ty’s shoulder at him. Seriously, this guy was so confusing! I walked to the bathroom I shared with Tyler to wash my face and brush my teeth before slipping into some pajamas and crawling into bed. I could hear the boys talking and Gage started laughing, warming my entire body. I sighed and flipped onto my side. I didn’t understand him at all. First, he had a girlfriend, then he’d almost kissed me last night, and this morning I could have sworn he was flirting with me. Then he got upset when we wanted to go out this morning and Tyler told me that when he went to talk to him about it, Gage said he didn’t want me living here, but tonight in the kitchen he kept finding a reason to touch me and wouldn’t stop smiling at me. What the heck? I didn’t know how to even act around him.

I must have fallen asleep, because I felt a little groggy when Tyler slipped into the bed later that night.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” he said softly.

“It’s fine, I meant to wait up for you. I guess I was more tired than I realized.”

He pulled me close to his body and wrapped his arms around me. “You’ve had a long last three days, you needed to sleep.”

“True. Did you guys have fun talking?”

“Yeah, it’s good to see him again. It’s been a long time since we hung out.”

“I’m sorry I’m ruining that; you really shouldn’t have brought me, Ty.”

He leaned back a little so he could see my face. “Cassi, I’ll take you with me everywhere I go. And don’t worry about Gage, he’ll get over it eventually. I’m sure it’s not you that he doesn’t like, he just said it’s going to mess up his relationship with Brynn having a girl live with him.”

“I don’t want to do that.”
Yes, yes, I do.
I’d never experienced jealousy until I met Gage last night, and it was one ugly feeling. “When I turn eighteen, I’ll get my own place, Ty.”

“No, you won’t. He’ll get over it, and I want you with me, okay?”

I curled into his chest and nodded. “Love you.”

Tyler leaned back again and tilted my face up to his. “I love you too, Cassi.” His lips fell onto mine and I scrambled back, pushing against his chest as hard as I could.

“What the hell, Tyler?!” We slept in bed with each other, but we’d never actually kissed before.

“I’m sorry! I thought you wanted me to.”

“What? Why would I want you to?”
Oh my God, seriously, what the hell just happened?!

He sighed and relaxed his hold on me. “I don’t—I don’t know what got into me. I’m sorry, that was really stupid.”

“Is that why you brought me to Texas with you?”

“No, it’s not, I swear. You’re my best friend, I would have never left you there. I’m sorry, like I said, that was really stupid.”

I crawled off the bed and grabbed my pillow. “Maybe I should sleep on the couch tonight.”

“No! Cassi, come on, don’t do that. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, it hasn’t just been a long three days for me. It’s been even longer for you. I think we’re both too tired and we aren’t thinking clearly.”

“Cass.” He sighed and got out of the bed as well. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking doing that.” He hugged me loosely and stepped back. “Please get back in bed.”

“It’s all right, I promise. I’m just going to sleep out there tonight—I think it would be best for us. I’ll be back in here tomorrow, okay?”

“I’ll go out there, you can stay in the bed.”

I put my hand on his chest and pushed him onto the bed. “I’m way shorter than you; that couch was practically made for me. Good night, Ty, see you in the morning.”

Chapter Three

G
AGE

I
COULDN’T SLEEP.
I already hated thinking about what probably happened between Tyler and Cassidy, but having Tyler tell me he was about to go screw her made it that much worse. I’m sorry, not screw her, bang her. Like it was no big deal, just announced, “I’m gonna go bang my girl,” and left without another word. A girl like Cassidy needs to be loved and worshipped, not
banged
. I knew he was just trying to get a rise out of me—I doubted he’d treat her with such little respect to her face—but I fell right into his trap, ’cause now there I was wearing a freakin’ hole in my floor pacing back and forth. And what happened during dinner? I thought I’d been making progress in the kitchen, she’d started flirting with me again, bantering back and forth and smiling like I was the most interesting person she’d ever talked to. Then dinner started and she went right back to being polite and uninterested. I swear I was getting whiplash with this girl.

After taking a calming breath, I headed out into the kitchen so I could grab some water. I tried not to, but my eyes betrayed me and flashed over to their door. I was itching to knock it down and drag her to my bed; I didn’t want him touching her at all. Dear Lord, since when did I get this possessive over a girl? I was about to go caveman on Ty’s ass and put my claim on her. Turning away from the door, I almost choked when I saw sweet Cassidy curled up asleep on the couch. After downing the rest of the water, I walked quietly into the living room and smiled at the sight of her. She had her arms and legs inside what must have been one of Tyler’s shirts, and was curled into a tight ball in the corner of the couch.

Part of me was happy because I didn’t think she’d come out here after having sex with Ty; the rest was annoyed that he’d done something to upset her enough that she felt like she needed to sleep out here. I called her name and touched her shoulder gently; when she didn’t respond I picked her up and carried her to my room. She was a small girl anyway, but I’d lifted hay bales heavier than her, and I was feeling too many bones. I didn’t even want to think about how her spine and shoulder blades had jutted out in those pictures. Whether she wasn’t allowed to cook often or didn’t have enough food in the house, she’d obviously missed too many meals. I’d have to make sure we always had enough food here; Cassidy needed to put on at least twenty more pounds just to look healthy.

Flipping back the comforter on my bed, I lowered her to the mattress and pulled the covers back over her. Her hair had fallen in her face, and I tucked it behind her ear so I could see her better. God, she was beautiful. I was aching to slide into the bed with her and hold her all night, but I’d probably be woken up by either her or Tyler punching me. Afraid she’d wake up and see me starin’ at her, I walked to my dresser and changed into some workout shorts and headed out to the couch. I almost groaned out loud when I lay down and was surrounded in her scent trapped in the pillow. How did Ty fall asleep with her in his bed every night? I could barely relax just thinking about her in my bed, and we were separated by a few walls.

“
G
AGE.”
I
FELT
a hand on my arm. “Gage.” This was a better dream than most; I swore I could smell her sweet scent in this one. “Gage, you gotta wake up!”

The pillow slipped out from under me and my head hit the hard arm of the couch. “What the fuck?” My eyes flew open and I saw Cassidy standing right in front of me, clutching her pillow to her chest. “Oh, Cass, I’m sorry.”

She rolled her eyes and smiled. “For the last time, your cussing doesn’t offend me.”

Yeah, but once again, Mama would smack me upside the head for even saying that in front of a girl. I smiled back. “Mornin’.”

“Ty’s going to wake up soon, you need to get up. I swear, Gage, you have got to stop putting me in your bed. One of these times he’s going to find out you do that and he’ll be mad.”

“I don’t know what happens between y’all that you feel the need to sleep out here sometimes, but it’s not right. He’s the guy so he should be out here, not the other way around.” Besides, I loved seeing her in my bed. This was the fifth time in the last month since they moved in that I’d found her on the couch at night. That didn’t include the mornings I would be leaving for my run and find her then.

“Well, I don’t come out here so you’ll take my place. If you keep doing this I’ll just start sleeping in the tub. Now, get up.” She was already stepping away from the couch and folding the blanket she had bought for her nights out here.

I took the blanket from her and put it in the closet before heading to my room to get ready for a run. When I took my phone off the charger I caught a glimpse of the date and practically jogged out to the kitchen. She was getting the coffee ready and had her back to me, so I wrapped my arms around her and leaned in close. “Happy birthday, Cassidy.”

It wasn’t weird for me to hug her anymore; every morning one of us got the coffee ready, and she came in for her “morning hug,” as she called it. I thought it was adorable, and I lived for it. It was the one time Tyler didn’t give me crap for being near her, mostly because he wasn’t there to see it. But this morning she didn’t hug me back, she just continued to get the coffeepot ready, even with my arms wrapped around her. I almost cursed out loud when I realized what else today was.

Spinning her around so she was facing me, I cupped her cheeks and bent down so I was closer to her eye level. “You gonna be okay today, darlin’?”

She nodded and gave me a sad smile, her arms lightly wrapping around my waist. “I’m fine, it’s just hard. I wish he was here.”

“I know you do.” I heard Tyler moving around so I let her go and pressed start on the coffeepot. “So what do you have planned for today? Tattoos, buying cigarettes, voting?” I winked and nudged her shoulder.

“You’re so dumb. No, to all of the above. I don’t have many plans; I need to go to the bank though. Now that I’m eighteen, the bank accounts are in my name and I can use them.”

“Bank accounts?”

“Yeah, before he died, my dad started a savings account and a college account in both our names. But I wasn’t allowed to touch them until I turned eighteen. I wish I already had some of my own money, but when I turned sixteen and said I was going to get a job, Mom . . . well . . . let’s just say I wasn’t allowed.”

I ground my teeth and forced my hands not to ball into fists. “You need a ride? I mean, you can wait for Ty if you want, but I don’t have any classes today, so I’ll take you if you want to get it done early.”

“That’d be great, thanks, Gage.” She set about pouring the coffee into two mugs for us, and a travel mug for Tyler.

Just as she finished, Tyler walked out and grabbed her hand, taking her to their room. I was glad they weren’t in there for more than two minutes; not much they could have done in that time.

“What’s up, man?” Tyler shouldered past me as he grabbed his cup. “Take care of my woman this morning for me, okay?”

I knew Cassidy must not have come back in with him if he was being all possessive. “Sure thing. Gonna go for a run, then I’ll take her to the bank to get all that stuff taken care of.” I looked around to the hall, then back to him. “We still taking her out tonight?”

“Yep, you call everyone?”

“Yeah, most of them are coming. Jackie, Dana, and Lanie for sure; Adam, Ethan, Grant, and some of the other guys will be there.”

“Sounds good, I’ll see you later this afternoon.”

“Later.”

I sat at the table and started drinking my coffee, waiting for Cassidy to come join me like she did every morning, but she ran into the kitchen, gave me a small smile, and ran back to the room with her mug in her hand. Couple minutes later I heard the shower turn on so I put my mug in the sink and left to run.

When I got back she was sitting on the kitchen counter holding a bottled water for me. I gave her knee a light squeeze and downed the bottle. I kept catching her staring at me and tried not to smile. At this point, I honestly had no idea what was going on between her and Tyler. If they were actually dating, they were one odd couple. She always wanted to be near him, but he never talked about their being a couple unless she wasn’t around. And even then, it seemed like he was just trying to remind me that she wasn’t available. Most days we slipped into comfortable banter, and our mornings alone usually resulted in subtle flirting, but there were still the days when she’d look at me like I’d hurt her and shut off. Today wasn’t either of those days. She was quiet and looked crushed, but I knew it had nothing to do with me.

After my shower, I walked back into the kitchen to find her in the same spot and jumped up onto the counter next to her. I sat there silently until she leaned into me, resting her head on my shoulder. We sat there for a few minutes without speaking, and my arm kept twitching. I wanted to put it around her so bad, but I didn’t know if it would bother her, so I kept it at my side. When she sighed and sat straight up, I figured it was better that I hadn’t.

“You ready?”

She nodded and slid off the counter, looking at me expectantly.

“I promise we’ll make this a good day for you, okay?”

“I know.”

She remained silent until we were at the bank and the banking officer called her into his office. Cassidy grabbed my arm and pulled me in there with her; her whole body was shaking. I’d never done it before, but when we sat down I intertwined my fingers with hers and smiled in relief when she clutched my hand tighter, rather than removing it.

“Hmm . . . you said Cassidy Jameson?”

“That’s correct.”

“It looks like the primary account holder withdrew all the money last week.”

Cassidy blanched and instantly stopped shaking. “Th-that’s not possible. My dad was the primary on the accounts. He died twelve years ago.”

The banker looked at her with a scrunched brow, then began typing something into his computer. “Is your mother Karen Jameson Kross?”

“Yes.”

“She must have become the primary when he died.” He typed a few more things. “Yes, yes, she did. It shows here everything was transferred to her name, and she withdrew the money out of both accounts last Thursday.”

“Can you please tell me how much she took?” Cassidy asked through clenched teeth.

“Sure, just one second.” He went back to clicking and typing for another minute.

I kept my eyes on Cassidy; she looked like she was going to pass out at any moment. I couldn’t believe this was happening.

The banker printed out a piece of paper and slid it across the desk to us; he’d circled the total of the two accounts, just under one hundred grand.

All the air left Cassidy as if someone had punched her, and I kept my grip tight on her hand. “I’m sorry, sir,” I started, “but there’s been a mistake. That woman wasn’t supposed to be able to touch that money.”

“She’s your mother, right, Miss Jameson?”

Cassidy didn’t move; her eyes were huge and she was staring at the floor. “
Mother
is a very loose term for her,” I answered.

“Was she still the legal guardian?” The banker started to sweat and was reaching for his phone.

Cassidy jumped out of the seat. “Just let her have it,” she blurted out, and turned for the door.

I ran after her, catching her just before she hit the doors of the lobby. “Cass, look at me.”

She turned around and my heart sank when I saw her emotionless mask back on.

“Talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to say. She took it, that’s the end of it.”

“What can I do?”

“Nothing.” She shrugged out of my grasp and continued out to my truck. “I’m just going to get a job and get over it.”

I bit my tongue and held the door open for her before going to the driver’s side and sliding in. “Cassidy, you can talk to me. I know this upsets you, don’t act like it doesn’t.”

“What do you want me to say, Gage?!” she snapped as she struggled to get her seat belt buckled. I reached over and took it out of her hands, buckling it for her. She sat back with a huff and mashed her lips into a line.

After cranking the car and turning on the AC, I left the car in park and just watched her, hoping she’d finally let me in. We could talk for hours, but as soon as it got personal like this, she shut off and would run to Tyler. Every. Time. Her phone chimed and while she searched through her purse it chimed again. She read it, her jaw dropped, and she shakily started tapping on the screen, holding it to her ear. I saw her eyes fill with tears.

“Ty,” she choked out, “Ty, please call me back.” A line of tears fell down her left cheek as she ended the call. I’d never even seen her tear up before this.

“Cassidy.” The need to hold her was too much; I took off her seat belt and pulled her over to me. “Please talk to me, who texted you?”

Her shoulders shook as she clung to my arm, but she didn’t respond. Her phone was resting on her leg and I picked it up. Giving her the time to stop me, I opened up her texts and had to read them twice to make sure I was reading them correctly.

MOM

Just got a call saying you tried to withdraw money from the accounts. You really think you did anything to deserve that money? I had to put up with you for 18 years, someone needed to pay me for that.

MOM

OH! Almost forgot . . . Happy you-killed-your-father day.

I cursed and squeezed her tighter to me. “Cassidy, I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve that.” I cupped her face and stared deep into her whiskey-colored eyes; my heart broke seeing this beautiful girl cry. “You’re amazing and perfect, and your mom is a worthless human being.”

“I just don’t understand why she hates me.” She sobbed and put her face on my chest. “I understand some of the drinking, but not Jeff, not her leaving me to completely fend for myself, not the—not the—” She choked on another sob and tried to pull away but I held her there.

There was nothing else I could say in that moment. If there were words that could have comforted her, I would have said every single one of them. But she didn’t need words, she just needed someone there. I leaned back against the driver’s-side door and pulled her onto me so she was leaning into my chest. Wrapping my arms around her, I tried to let her feel everything I wasn’t allowed to tell her. That she was unlike any other girl in the world, that she was wanted and cherished, that I loved her with everything in me. No reason trying to tell myself that wasn’t what this was anymore; there was no doubt in my mind I was in love with Cassidy. She consumed me in a way I never thought imaginable, and hell if I didn’t love that too.