From A to Bee (16 page)

  I am going to review these instructions carefully before starting the real build so as not to make the same mistakes again. My corporate world is taking me away this weekend and so that is out of the question, the Easter weekend is looking most likely now.

  Thank God I didn't just build it blindly like I would normally do. What would the bees have thought? What would
my son
have thought?

  Note to self: I must buy my bee jacket and smoker. I can't imagine getting the bees and not being able to transfer them to this newly built hive. What on earth will I go for? Even just looking at bee jackets there seems to be a lot of different colours and makes to choose from so I better start doing some research.

Feeling quite exhausted today due to a hectic three-day schedule at an exhibition in London for my corporate life. I had forgotten how tiring it is to stand up continually for twelve hours and just talk to people. To add to the intensity I was asked to be on a panel as an 'expert speaker'. How that happened I do not know! It was quite fun, however, and a good experience.

  It was only on the Friday morning that I realised it was being held at Earls Court – such is my way of dealing with things very late in the day. When I got there I realised it was the Ideal Home Show at the same time. Being an exhibitor in another show hall meant I could gain free access to it. I knew that one of my Twitter bee contacts was there working on the Omlet stand, makers of the Beehaus. Having had quite a lot of correspondence it would be nice to say hi and a perfect opportunity to see the hive itself before possibly ordering one.

  When I got the chance to pop in on Saturday evening, I have to say I was quite impressed. The description of it being a brightly coloured freezer box was spot on; the one in the show was almost fluorescent in colour. It did look better in reality, though, which was a relief. Another bonus seemed to be its ease of construction, and as there was no wood in sight there was no woodwork needed. Perfect! The Beehaus looked ideal for my second hive for comparison's sake, and I couldn't wait to order one.

  A comedian recently commented that he knew he was getting old as he had actually met all of his friends. I know exactly what he meant now that I have all these online 'friends'. Saturday was the first day I physically met one of them and fortunately Quinn was as nice in person as he was on Twitter. It's always difficult to know what they are really like in little snapshot sentences of 140 characters but Quinn seemed a lovely guy and as camp as a row of pink tents, which only added to his charm. An asset to his company certainly, he further convinced me to purchase a Beehaus at some point but I simply cannot justify the price tag at the moment. Starting up beekeeping isn't exactly cheap and this is just one purchase too much for now.

On reflection, I wish that I had sat back at the start of this year and made myself a list. After all, I am a bit of a list man. Literally every day I write lists for almost everything that I do. Unless I can tick things off throughout the day I am a little bit lost and that is pretty much where I am now. I seem to be obtaining equipment a little bit randomly and as and when I think about it.

  Today I decided I had to buy a bee suit, and so did a great Internet search. It seems there are lots of options out there. I did a detailed search, looking at the colours, quality and price. I have to be honest, usually I will try to get away with the cheapest option but I wasn't that keen to go for the bargain basement option here. The last thing I wanted was to wear out a bee suit quickly and discover a hole mid-inspection which the bees would have discovered moments before.

  Instead I went to the company that most people seemed to accept as the best suit company out there, B. J. Sherriff, and ordered my suit. Apart from the fact that most of my association wear their suits, I think it was more the fact that they have this great big 'Sherriff' badge as their logo on the breast of the suit so it reminds me of playing Cowboys and Indians as a child. I never got to be the sheriff as a boy and was constantly shot at by my mates and had my bows and arrows broken in two. Now was my chance!

  As a result of the suit purchase, I also ordered a variety of other items, which included a rather large and shiny looking smoker and something called a hive tool, which I knew to be important.

  Looking forward to when they arrive, if only to try on the bee suit.

The package arrives.

  Today I am feeling another step closer to my one pot of honey as my bee suit, smoker and other fancy, highly technological equipment arrived. Since we live in the middle of nowhere, our post usually arrives about a year behind everyone else's and so I was quite surprised it arrived so quickly. Though I had ordered an extra-large bee suit, large smoker and hive tool and was expecting a huge parcel I was amazed to see that it was in fact tiny; little more than Easter egg-sized, apt for the time of year but far more exciting!

  I opened the box with anticipation, with Jo in tow wanting to see what on earth I was going to look like.

  When I opened the parcel the first item that caught my eye was a fantastic shiny smoker. When I say shiny I mean mirror shiny. The extent of the shine brought back memories of my years as a mountain climber at university. Back then, shiny equipment was looked down upon. We would get to the mountain with all of our climbing gear wrapped around our waist and I remember the day that I had just bought my own gear and headed up to the base of the mountain with pride. I felt like a cowboy who walks into the wrong bar and the music stops, like I had just said something really inappropriate in the lull of conversation. Everyone was looking at me and I could see them looking at each other and I am sure I saw one whispering to the other, 'Oh look, here's a novice'; and they would all stop climbing and watch me attempt a climb. I remember so well the urge to get out each individual bit of kit and scratch it so no one would know next time. Every time I get something shiny I think of that moment and it always makes me smile.

  Now I imagined reaching the apiary, and as others saw the sparkle of my new smoker they would gather round as I tried to light it, ramping up the pressure until the puffs of smoke came regularly, white and even – which is always a joyful moment, apparently.

  Continuing through the package, next out was the 'hive tool', which is used to help you get out each frame when you are checking the bees. I have heard others refer to it as the 'beekeeper's friend' as you can't really do anything without it. I unravelled the tissue paper it was wrapped in and then all of the bubble wrap and out popped the brightest bit of kit I have ever seen in my life. It was bright orange and not only that, it was shiny as well. It is undoubtedly the brightest thing that I have ever owned. My thoughts, however, were then taken to a very different place when Jo mentioned what a lovely ice pick it would make. I am not sure if it is just me but a female voice uttering the words 'wonderful ice pick' transports me back to the film
Fatal Attraction
and instant nightmares. I quietly hid the hive tool in my jacket and moved quickly on.

  Finally the moment of truth: the bee suit. I had opted for something quite untraditional. Firstly I had gone for a jacket style rather than full body, and secondly I had opted for a khaki colour rather than white. I had settled for a jacket as when I tried one on it was very comfortable, and after all it is all about what you feel comfortable in. I remembered people saying that full suits could get hot in summer and the thought of wearing a rather fetching boiler suit in the height of summer didn't really appeal, so I thought this might be better for me. The colour was a more personal choice but hearing the theory behind it was quite interesting. Apparently some years ago the founder of the B. J. Sherriff Company went to New Zealand to observe beekeeping there. They would do a lot of their beekeeping at night time and often found that white bee suits made themselves very obvious to the bees. Wearing khaki toned down the brightness and made it easier for the beekeepers to work. So not only was it a nice colour it also meant it would be easier for me to keep bees in the dark. It seemed the perfect combination in my eyes.

  As I pulled it out, Jo peering over my shoulder, I was having second thoughts. Would the colour be OK? Did I pick the right size? Would Jo divorce me seeing what I was about to start wearing most weekends?

  Staring at it through the cellophane packet it came in, it actually looked great and Jo immediately agreed but stated she would have preferred it in white because she's a traditionalist. It did look slightly too big but then I did order XXL. I think I was overcompensating for my medium episode earlier in the year and afraid that I might again feel the little feet of a bee on the small of my back. Not again, thank you very much.

  I tried it on and looked in the mirror and felt pleased I had gone for the jacket style. Jo even tried it on as well though it looked more like a tent. Wearing this I don't think I could ever look like a traditional beekeeper; a fact I quite like to be honest.

  All in all, it was a big moment and I feel one step closer to that one pot of honey – though I am starting to slightly panic about building the hive as I am putting it off every day. I keep on finding a new excuse. Let's make that an aim for this week!

My local association holds practical sessions each week and I was fortunate to get to one last night. I think they are a fantastic incentive to join an association as it's a great way to (a) meet other beekeepers in a similar situation, and (b) learn the art of handling bees in a safe environment. I hate to think what mistakes I would make if I went at it on my own! This one was held at the local apiary, where the frame-building day was held earlier, and thankfully it wasn't raining, unbelievable given the last few weeks.

  I drove there feeling a little more confident than I did at the frame-building day, but purely as a result of having a correctly fitting bee suit. I also brought the free gift I received from the bee suit company, some nicely fitting though rather unattractive-looking leather gloves. It certainly didn't look as though a sting would penetrate these little beauties (it didn't look like anything would penetrate them if I am honest!).