Frognapped (8 page)

I
t is not easy getting an old ghost in a shark suit underneath the edge of a tent, but we did it.

We crept around the back of the mushroom sheds to get to the tent since I thought that people might notice a shark walking around. On the way I had told Sir Horace, “When someone with a really annoying squeaky voice calls you Dad, you have to pretend that is who
you are. You are Dad. Got that? And then you have to tell her that Wanda and I are running the show. Okay?”

Sir Horace did not say anything for a bit and then he said,
“Why?”

“Because that is a really important part of my plan. Trust me.”

Wanda snorted like a pig, but I ignored her as I was too busy pushing Sir Horace underneath the tent.

The tent was empty except for Nosy Nora, who was hanging around beside the big fish tank looking worried. Outside the crowd was getting impatient to come in—the Fish Frolics Show was already twenty minutes late. You could hear babies crying, children squealing, and people grumbling to each other. I gave Sir Horace a push and said, “Just
go and stand by the fish tank. Remember you are called Dad. Okay?”

I think Sir Horace nodded but it was hard to tell. But as he floated off toward the fish tank Nosy Nora yelled, “Hey, Dad! Where have you
been
?”

“Come on, Wanda,” I said. “Let's leave him to it. We've got to find Aunt Tabby and Brenda and sort
them
out now.” And I pushed her back outside.

We found Aunt Tabby and Brenda in Squid Café talking with Vera and Mabel. Aunt Tabby was holding our hats and she looked really irritated. Vera and Mabel did not look happy.

Brenda zoomed in on Wanda. “Where have you been? You're covered in mud and spiderwebs.” I could see a handkerchief moment coming on. Sure enough, Brenda fished out a
big pink hanky, spat on it, and started rubbing at Wanda's face.

“Mo-om,” said Wanda in a muffled way, and wriggled out of Brenda's grasp.
“Don't.”

Wanda did not tell Brenda where we had been, which was good. I thought Wanda's training was going quite well, as when she had first come to Spookie House she used to tell Brenda everything we did, which had led to a lot of Aunt Tabby trouble.

However, I could see we were heading straight for Aunt Tabby trouble here. “Araminta,” she said sternly. “I have bought your hats back. If you need extra spending money you should ask me. I can't believe how much you made Vera and Mabel pay for these.”

“Oh, but we wanted to,” said Vera—or was it Mabel?

“Oh yes, we really did,” said Mabel—or was it Vera?

I got out my detective notebook. “I can take an order for more,” I said.

“
No
, Araminta, you can't,” said Aunt Tabby.

“Oh please,” said Mabel—or was it Vera—“we would love to order some more.”

“How many would you like?” I asked before Aunt Tabby could say anything.

“We'll have two of each,” said Mabel/Vera.

“So that there's no fighting,” giggled Vera/Mabel.

“I will give your order to our resident knitter,” I told them. “It will be ready in two weeks.”

“Araminta, really…” Aunt Tabby said very faintly. But she didn't say anything else.

Suddenly Nosy Nora's squeaky voice came
over the loudspeakers. “Ladies and gentlemen, please make your way to the Water Wonderland tent where the world-famous Fish Frolics Show is about to begin!” The loudspeaker did a horrible high-pitched squeak and everyone winced. Then we all heard Nora say, “What was that, Dad? I can't hear what you're saying. What? Are you
sure
?” There was a silence, then the loudspeaker came on again. “Um. Would Wanda Wizzard and Araminta Spookie please make their way to the big tent as soon as possible. Dad—are you
sure
?” Then there was a crackle and the loudspeaker went dead.

“We've got to go,” I told Aunt Tabby. “They can't start without us. Come on, Wanda.”

“You are not going anywhere without your hats,” said Aunt Tabby. “At least then I can keep an eye on you. Put them on.”

There was no time to waste arguing over hats. I stuffed my squid hat on and Wanda crammed on her fish hat and we zoomed off into the crowd.

Nosy Nora was not pleased to see us. “You keep getting me into trouble,” she said. “Did you know there are two old ladies wearing hats just like yours? I chased them all the way to Squid Café and nearly got trapped by your creepy aunt.”

“Really?” I said. “What a coincidence.”

Nosy Nora looked at me like I was one of those horrible suckerfish stuck on the side of that tank. “Anyway,” she said, “I don't know why Dad wants you to help,” she said grumpily. “He's not thinking straight. He sounds like he's got a cold or something.”

“I expect he thinks you can't do it all
on your own,” I said.

“There's not exactly a lot to do anyway,” said Nora sulkily. “It's only the stupid frogs and then Dad does the shark thing and splashes everyone and then they all go home.”

“I'll do the frogs,” Wanda piped up.

“Oh all right,” said Nora. “They're nasty, slimy things anyway.” She picked up the red frog bucket and handed it to Wanda. Wanda grabbed the bucket. “I've got the fro-ogs, I've got the fro-ogs!” she sang and did a weird Wanda-dance around in circles.

That was a mistake. She blew our cover. One thing a detective should never do is blow her cover. It leads to trouble.

Nosy Nora looked suspicious—very suspicious. “What's going on?' she asked.

“Don't ask me,”
said the shark, peering out
from behind the big striped curtain at the back of the tank.

“
Shh
,” I told Sir Horace—but it was too late.

Nora stared at me. “I don't believe it
is
Dad under there,” she said. “I've heard all about you, Araminta Spookie, and I think you are fibbing.”

“But—” I said. I was going to tell her that I had never
said
it was Old Morris in the shark suit, but Nosy Nora wasn't listening.

“I think it's your creepy aunt in there. It's
just the kind of weird thing she'd do. I'm going to look!”

“No, its not Aunt—”

But it was too late. Nora unzipped the shark suit and went pale. “There's no one there!” she yelled. “It's haunted!”

“That's right,” I told her since, whatever anyone may think, I do not tell fibs.

“Where's my dad?” she yelled. “What have you done with him?”

We didn't say anything.

“I'll find him! I'll find him and then you'll be sorry!” Nosy Nora raced over to the tent flaps and threw them open. An excited murmur went up from the people waiting to come in. “
You
do the show, you and your horrible spooky shark—since you're so
smart
!” Nora shouted and she disappeared into the crowd.

Before Wanda and I had time to think, everyone rushed in and started fighting over the best seats. Aunt Tabby and Brenda won, along with Mabel and Vera, who plonked themselves down right in front of the fish tank. That was bad enough, but I couldn't believe my eyes when right behind them I saw
Nurse Watkins and Uncle Drac
. How did they get there?

But I didn't have time to think about that for long. Soon everyone was sitting down and a horrible hush came over the tent. A whole forest of eyes stared at us like they expected us to do something.

“What are we going to
dooooo
?” wailed Wanda under her breath.

There was only one thing we could do—the all-new Spookie Shark Show.

T
he Spookie Shark Show was amazing. Everyone said that they had never seen anything like it.

Wanda got the spotlight working and the frogs opened the show. I could see why Barry was so upset about losing his frogs because they are very talented, particularly when you consider how stupid the average frog can be. Barry must have put in a lot of training
hours—almost as many as I had put in training Wanda to be a detective.

The frogs leapfrogged all the way around the fish tank as though they had been practicing for weeks. Wanda trained the spotlight on them and followed them perfectly. She even got clever and started changing the colors so that one minute the frogs were blue and the next they were bright red, then purple. I had watched Barry with his frogs tons of times so luckily I knew all the stuff they could do. They did:

• The Leaning Frog Tower
  
• The Triple-Frog Pogo Stick
  
• The Double-Frog Cartwheel
  
• The Four-Frog Catapult
  

It was just perfect—until they fell in the fish tank and Wanda had to go in and get them. But that was okay; everyone thought that that was part of the show. Wanda made a lot of fuss, but she caught all the frogs and threw them back into the bucket. Then, just to show that we had meant to do that, I held the bucket up and bowed. Everyone clapped so I bowed again.

Meanwhile Wanda was trying to get out of the fish tank, but she only has short little arms and she couldn't pull herself up. “Araminta,” she spluttered, “help me get out.” But I didn't think that was such a great idea as the crowd
was enjoying it and I could tell it would be a really dramatic moment for the shark to come in. I rushed over to the striped curtain at the end of the tank where Sir Horace was waiting.

“Sir Horace!” I whispered. “It's time for your shark thingy. Jump in.”

The shark didn't seem very keen.
“I'll get rusty,”
it said.

“No you won't. You're not wearing your armor—remember? And you've always wanted to learn to swim, haven't you?”

“Have I?”

“Yes, you have. Just think how useful it would have been. So now's your chance.” And before he had time to think about it, I pushed him in. There was a huge splash and the shark landed in the tank. The audience screamed so
loud that my ears rang. Wanda screamed too, which was great because it made the show very exciting.

It was fantastic. It really looked as though Wanda was being chased by a shark. The trouble was that I had forgotten about Brenda. As soon as Brenda saw the shark she raced up and fished Wanda out with the frog net. The audience loved it.

Wanda sat on the edge of the tank coughing and spluttering and looking grumpy, but Brenda was really getting into it. The audience cheered and whistled and Brenda did a curtsey. And then she did another one. And another. Since Brenda was stealing the show I told Sir Horace, “You can come out now.” He floated up out of the fish tank and stood on the ledge. Everyone screamed! Brenda's eyes
nearly popped out of her head and she keeled over with a great big
thump
.

I never thought I would say that Nurse Watkins was useful—but she was. She rushed onto the stage with her little black nurse's bag (the one she had stolen the frogs in) and lifted Brenda's feet up above her head. It was very dramatic, and when Brenda woke up the crowd gave a huge cheer and Nurse Watkins took a bow as if she did that kind of thing every day. I suppose it reminded her of all the wrestling matches she had won.

People say that you have to leave a crowd wanting more, so I grabbed hold of Nosy Nora's megaphone and announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, the Spookie Shark Show is over.”

A big disappointed “Aaaah” went up from the crowd, but I just kept going because that is what you do when you are running a really successful fish show.

“Please give a big hand for Barry Wizzard's frogs!” I said. Everyone clapped and whistled. “Also Wanda and Brenda Wizzard, Sir Horace the Shark, and last but not least, Nurse Watkins!”

Everyone cheered and cheered. I thought they would never stop. I waited for someone to thank me, which is what they should have done, but no one did, so I said, “And I am Araminta Spookie. This was the Spookie Shark Show. Thank you!”

People whistled and stamped and clapped and I took a bow. And then I took another.
And another. It was fantastic. I think I shall probably consider running fish shows as a serious career option from now on.

But the adulation of a crowd is a fickle thing. Soon everyone was trooping out of the tent, the adults moaning about the hard seats and the kids whining for ice cream.

And suddenly Aunt Tabby and Uncle Drac were looming over us.

Uncle Drac was smiling but Aunt Tabby was not. She had a big frown and her eyebrows met in the middle like two angry caterpillars. I could see a serious Aunt Tabby moment coming on so I got in first. “Aunt Tabby, you have to meet me and Wanda at the ticket office in ten minutes—it's
very
important,” I told her. “And bring Barry's van.”

“Araminta, you are
not
going anywhere—”
Aunt Tabby started, but we didn't hear the rest. I had the frog bucket in one hand and Wanda's wet paw in the other and we were off, heading for the ticket office.