Friendship According to Humphrey (11 page)

Wow, I never knew I was in a classroom full of scientists!

The recess bell rang. As they hurried to get their coats, my classmates thanked Aldo one by one. Finally no one was left except Aldo, Mrs. Brisbane and Principal Morales.

“Excellent job,” said Mrs. Brisbane. “I wish you’d come back and get them excited over math.”

“Now are you going to send in that application?” asked the principal.

Aldo nodded. “I’m going to do it.”

“I’d like to add something to that application. A letter of recommendation,” said Mrs. Brisbane.

I thought Aldo would faint. “Would you?”

“I’d be proud to write one, too,” said Principal Morales.

“I can’t thank you enough,” said Aldo.

“Do me one favor,” added the principal. “When you graduate and are ready to start teaching, you come to Longfellow School first.”

Aldo shook his hand. “I wouldn’t go anywhere else,” he said.

Whew! That was a relief. I was SAD-SAD-SAD when Ms. Mac left for Brazil. I’d be even sadder if Aldo left, too.

12

T
hat week, there was plenty of chatter about Richie’s upcoming birthday. All that excitement gave me a wiggle in my whiskers and a pounding in my heart.a What was this big surprise Richie talked about all the time?

On Friday, Mrs. Brisbane announced that Richie would be taking me home for the weekend.

“Yay! Humphrey’s coming to the party, too,” A.J. yelled.

I’d never been to a party outside of Room 26 before. Overjoyed, I jumped on my wheel and spun as fast as I could.

“BOING!” Og croaked.

Oops! I realized that Og had not been invited to the party.

“What about Og?” asked Richie. “Can he come, too?”

Mrs. Brisbane shook her head. “I think you have all you can handle. Besides, I’m taking Og home with me. My husband is working on a surprise for him.”

“Eeek!” I squeaked. It just slipped out. Mr. Brisbane, whom I hadn’t even seen since Christmas, was working on a surprise for the frog? I could feel that green-eyed monster inside me again. I was jealous of a large lump with a ghastly grin and I wasn’t proud of myself.

 

Richie was hopping from one foot to another, like a frog, by the time his mom came to pick us up after school. “We’re going to party hearty, Humphrey!” he shouted.

“Try to relax, Richie,” Mrs. Rinaldi told him as we got in the car. “If we’re going to have this party, you’ll have to calm down.”

The Rinaldi house was in quite an uproar that night. First of all, there were so many aunts, uncles, grandmas and grandpas there, I wasn’t sure which was which.

Everyone was hustling around, moving chairs and putting up decorations in the basement or bustling around the kitchen, cooking. As busy as they were, they all managed to stop and say, “Hi, Humphrey.” Or “Isn’t he a cutie?”

Uncle Aldo and his wife, Maria, stopped by to help. When Aldo announced he was starting college again, his relatives slapped him on the back and said, “Way to go!” They were as HAPPY-HAPPY-HAPPY about it as I was!

 

On Saturday morning, there was even more commotion as Richie’s family hurried up and down the stairs, preparing for the party. Aldo and Maria came back to help. Early in the afternoon, Aldo put on a top hat and picked up my cage.

“Okay, Humph. Time for us to party on!”

He carried my cage downstairs to the basement.

What sights I saw there! The ceiling was covered with balloons of every color. Along the walls were brightly colored booths made out of big cardboard boxes. A circle of chairs surrounded a large platform. Happy circus music was playing and I could smell popcorn and lemonade.

Aldo set my cage on a big table and said, “Welcome to Richie Rinaldi’s Crazy Carnival! Step right up, one and all!”

Soon my friends from Room 26 made their way down the stairs. Gail and Heidi (not together, of course), Kirk, Garth, Mandy, Sayeh, A.J. and Art, Seth and Tabitha.

As soon as Sayeh saw Tabitha arrive, she hurried over to greet her. “Oh, I’m glad you came!” she said.

Then, down the stairs came Marty. Marty? I blinked hard and looked again. Sure enough, Martin Bean, the guy who’s REALLY MEAN, was right there in Richie’s basement!

“My mom made me invite him,” I heard Richie tell Garth. “He’s in my Sunday school class.”

There’s school on Sunday, too? Gee, you learn something new every day.

The kids all put brightly wrapped presents on a table. Most of them said hello to me. Then Aldo said, “Step right up and play the most amazing games on earth!”

Each of the booths along the wall featured a different activity. Richie’s dad had a booth where the kids tossed rings at empty soda bottles. If three rings landed over the bottles, you got a pink ticket.

Cousin Mark’s booth featured a game where you threw a small basketball through a hoop. You got a pink ticket for each basket made.

In Grandpa Rinaldi’s booth, you had to knock little bowling pins down with a ball. If you knocked them all down, you got a pink ticket.

Closest to me was Maria’s booth. She had a flowered scarf on her head and a big glass ball in front of her. “Come, hear Madame Maria tell your fortune,” she called to the crowd.

Madame Maria told Mandy that in the future, she would eat “much popcorn.” (I think she already had.) Then Maria told Kirk that in the future, he would have a lot of fun. Kirk always does!

There was so much noise in Richie’s basement, I was tempted to go into my sleeping house for some peace and quiet. But I didn’t want to miss any of the fun.

Then—uh-oh—I noticed someone not having fun. Heidi Hopper was on her way to the basketball booth when Big Mean Bean stood in front of her, blocking her way. She moved to the right to go around him. Marty moved to the right and blocked her.

“What’s your hurry?” he asked in a nasty voice.

Heidi moved to the left to go around him. Marty moved to the left and blocked her.

“Say the magic word,” said Marty.

“Please,” Heidi said in a soft voice.

“Can’t hear you!”

“Please!” Heidi spoke much louder now.

Marty sneered. “That’s not the magic word. Guess again.”

Once more, Heidi tried to go around him and he stopped her. She was almost in tears. This was unsqueakable behavior!

“Let her go!” I yelled. Not that anyone could hear a small hamster over all the hubbub.

Suddenly, Gail appeared out of nowhere. “Stop it, Marty!” she said, and she pushed him out of the way. She grabbed Heidi’s hand and pulled her toward the fortune-telling booth. “Come on, Heidi.”

Marty stood there with his mouth wide open. I could hardly believe what I’d seen myself. First of all, I thought Gail was mad at Heidi. Second of all, no younger kid had ever dared to push Marty before. Especially not a girl. Gail’s a lot stronger than she looks.

“Yoo-hoo, ladies! Fortunes told! Let Madame Maria tell you what your future will bring!”

Heidi and Gail looked at one another.

“Step this way,” Maria called to them.

The two girls scurried over to her booth and sat down as Maria stared into the glass ball.

“You will be best friends forever,” Maria predicted. Hooray! Heidi and Gail looked happy with their fortunes. As they walked away, I heard Gail say, “I’m sorry I said you were a cheater. I was wrong.”

“I’m sorry I called you a crybaby,” said Heidi.

They didn’t seem to know what else to say, until Mandy raced up and asked if they’d tried the ring toss yet. The three of them hurried off to the booth. Those old, gold friends, Heidi and Gail, were back together at last.

Meanwhile, Marty seemed puzzled by the whole incident. He stood motionless, watching the other partygoers pairing off and having fun together. I guess Aldo was watching, because he marched over to him and said, “If you need something to do, I could use some help giving out prizes.”

Marty didn’t answer.

“Or would you rather be with your friends? You do have friends, don’t you, Marty?”

Marty stood like a statue, staring at Aldo.

“You know, Marty, if you stopped pushing everybody around, people might start liking you. So why don’t you come over and do something nice, like handing out prizes?”

Aldo didn’t wait for an answer. He put his hand on Marty’s shoulder and marched him to the Prize Booth.

Meanwhile, Richie and Seth cheered on Tabitha as she got three baskets in a row. Smiley the bear was nowhere in sight.

After Miranda and Sayeh had each earned a handful of pink tickets, they headed for the Prize Booth. But when they saw Marty there, they stopped in their tracks.

“I’m not going over there if
he’s
there,” said Miranda. “He’d probably steal my tickets.”

A.J. and Art were already at the Prize Booth, trying to choose from the assortment of little puzzles, paddles with balls attached, and funny cardboard glasses with eyeballs painted on them. Aldo and Marty stood behind the prize table.

“Hurry up and take something,” Marty said in a gruff voice. He tried to stuff the glasses in A.J.’s hand. “Move it along.”

Aldo nudged Marty. “Give them a chance to decide what they want, Marty,” he suggested. “How about a train whistle?” he asked, holding up a big wooden whistle in the shape of a train.

“Maybe,” said A.J.

“Paddleball is always good,” said Art. “I’ll take that.”

“Good choice,” Marty mumbled.

“I’ll take the whistle,” A.J. decided. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” It sounded strange to hear Mean Martin Bean say those words.

Kirk rushed to the Prize Booth with a handful of tickets.

“Well, if it isn’t Kirk the Jer—” Marty stopped himself before he finished.

“Kirk the Basketball King!” said Aldo. “Pick a prize.”

Kirk had enough tickets to get a flower with a bulb attached that could squirt water.

“Good choice,” said Marty. His voice sounded different. I guess he wasn’t used to saying nice things.

At last, Sayeh and Miranda, who had been watching Marty, finally came forward, clutching their prize tickets.

“Ladies, come get your prizes,” said Aldo. “Marty will help you. He likes to help. Right, Marty?”

“Here are some key chains,” Marty told the girls as they nervously stepped forward. “Or maybe you’d like this tic-tac-toe game.”

Miranda and Sayeh were obviously surprised that Marty was acting like a human being is supposed to act, but they handed over their tickets.

“Thanks, Marty,” said Miranda, taking the key chain.

Aldo grinned. So did Marty.

Everybody was having such a good time, I was tempted to open the lock-that-doesn’t-lock and join the fun.

While I was thinking it over, Aldo blew a whistle and asked everybody to come to the “center ring” for the big show.

As I watched my classmates rush for their chairs, I realized that I had an excellent hamster’s-eye view of the center of the ring. There was no need to plan an escape after all.

Once everyone settled down, Aldo took center stage and waved his top hat dramatically. “Ladiezzzz and gentlemen, get ready to be dazzled by the one, the only, the Amazing Magic Mitch!”

Amazing Magic Mitch turned out to be a tall, skinny man also wearing a top hat. His long blond hair touched his shoulders. He had on an oversized black jacket with a red-and-white striped T-shirt and wore huge red-rimmed glasses.

Aldo applauded and the rest of the audience joined in. Magic Mitch carried a table in one hand and a suitcase in the other. He put the suitcase on the table and pulled out a large black wand.

Now I understood. Amazing Magic Mitch was a magician! I’d heard about magic shows, but I’d never seen one before. My whiskers started to quiver as the act began.

He talked the whole time he performed his act. TALK-TALK-TALK! First, he started out with a card trick. He brought A.J. out of the audience and asked him to pick a card, memorize it and return it to the deck. The magician mixed up the cards and asked A.J. to pick another card. The card A.J. selected this time happened to be the EXACT card he had picked the first time!

“Think it’s a trick deck?” asked the magician.

“Yes,” A.J. answered.

So Magic Mitch called Tabitha out of the audience. He asked her and A.J. to check the deck of cards to see that everything was normal. It was! Then Tabitha had to pick a card and memorize it. Mitch shuffled the cards all around again. When Tabitha picked another card from the deck—you won’t believe it—it was the exact same card she had picked before!

Everybody applauded, except me. This guy seemed a little too crafty for me. I decided to keep a close eye on him.

Magic Mitch asked if he could borrow a coin from somebody. Marty volunteered with a quarter he had in his pocket. Imagine, a grown-up taking a coin from a kid!

Mitch rolled the coin up into a handkerchief and it disappeared completely, right before our eyes. He shook out the handkerchief, but the quarter was gone! Marty gasped. Somebody should have warned Magic Mitch not to make Mean Bean mad.

The magician leaned over and asked, “What’s that in your ear?” He reached out to touch Marty’s ear and produced a quarter: the same one Marty had given him!

Now, I ask you, how can a coin disappear into thin air and then turn up in somebody’s ear? This guy was CHEATING-CHEATING-CHEATING!

Next, Magic Mitch had the nerve to ask if the birthday boy had gotten any paper money for his birthday. Richie came up and gave the magician a brand-new dollar bill. You won’t believe what Magic Mitch did with that dollar bill. He folded it all up, took out a pair of scissors and cut it into small pieces! That’s the rudest thing I’ve ever seen. Even Og wouldn’t do something like that. Richie’s eyes were practically popping out of his head as Magic Mitch took the pieces of the dollar, put them in his fist and waved a magic wand. Nothing happened.