Friends Forever (13 page)

At the end of two days, Marilyn said she wanted to go home so she could get some rest, and Helen said it sounded like a good idea to her. She was very pleased with how all three of them were doing. And she discharged them at nine o’clock the next morning. Marilyn was going to try to nurse both of them, with some supplements, but her milk hadn’t come in yet. Helen thought it might be better for her if she were at home when that happened. There were too many people visiting her in the hospital for her to just calm down and get used to her babies. But Jack was being terrific, as always, and when they got home, he helped Marilyn get settled, and Brian wanted to do whatever he could with his sisters too.

Marilyn heaved a sigh of relief when she slipped into their familiar bed.

“Wow! Everything happened so fast, it doesn’t seem real yet.”

“It’s real,” Jack assured her, as both babies started crying at the same time, and they both laughed. It was going to be crazy for a while, and Marilyn’s mother had offered to come and help her. But she was in her seventies, not in good health, and she would just be one more person for Marilyn to take care of, so Marilyn had asked her to come later in the summer, and for now she and Jack were going to try to manage on their own, with a little assistance from Brian. She insisted that she didn’t want a baby nurse. Jack had offered and he could afford one, but Marilyn knew these would be her last babies, and she didn’t want to miss a minute of it, and she was determined to do it all herself, with Jack, and he had agreed. But she was surprised by how exhausted she felt. Just walking across the room, to where the babies were sleeping in their bassinets, seemed like a lot of effort, and she wasn’t even nursing yet. She and the twins were just getting used to each other.

Brian had gone out with friends, and she had just lain down for a nap that afternoon, after settling the babies in their bassinets, when the phone rang. Marilyn could tell from her caller ID that it was Connie, but there was no sound when she answered the phone. Marilyn thought the phone had been disconnected and was about to hang up when she heard a long, low howl that sounded more like an animal than a human. At first, she didn’t know what it was as she listened, and then she suddenly heard her friend’s voice and her blood ran cold.

“Kevin” was the only word Connie was able to say to her, and for the next many minutes all she could do was sob. Marilyn didn’t know if he’d been injured, had an accident, had a fight with them, or been arrested again. All she could do was wait until Connie caught her breath.

“Take it easy, I’m right here.… Do you want me to come over?” For an instant, she forgot that she’d given birth three days before, but she’d have gone over anyway. “Connie—tell me what happened.” She waited as Jack walked into the room, and he could see from his wife’s face that something terrible had occurred.

“Who is it?” he whispered, and she mouthed Connie’s name, as Connie continued to sob into the phone.

“I’m coming over,” Marilyn said, unable to stand it anymore. She knew she could get to her house faster than it was taking Connie to tell her over the phone what was wrong.

“He’s dead,” she said, and then howled the same agonizing sound Marilyn had heard when she answered the phone.

“Oh my God … oh my God … I’m coming over. Are you alone?” Connie was incoherent, and Marilyn leaped out of bed so fast that her head swam for an instant, and then she ran toward the bathroom, still holding the phone, as Jack watched her. “Where’s Mike?”

“He’s here. They just called us,” Connie managed to choke out between sobs.

“Just hang in there. I’ll be there in five minutes.” Marilyn disconnected the call with a shaking hand and stared at Jack in disbelief. “Kevin O’Hara just died. I don’t know how it happened. I have to go over there. You stay with the babies. If they wake up, give them one of the bottles of water they gave us at the hospital—they’ll be fine.”

“You can’t drive,” he said, looking frantic. “You just gave birth.” She was already calling Billy, and he answered right away.

“Where are you?” she said quickly.

“I’m at Gabby’s. What’s the big deal?” He could hear that his mother was wound up about something, but he didn’t know what it was.

“I need you to come home right away.”

“Why?” He sounded suspicious and annoyed.

“I need you to drive me to the O’Haras’. Something happened to Kevin.”

“I’ll be right there,” he said immediately, and hung up. He was at the house by the time she was dressed and downstairs. Jack kissed her goodbye and told her not to overdo it. She looked pale and upset, but she wanted to go to her friend. The unthinkable had happened.

Billy drove her to the O’Haras’ in less than five minutes, and Marilyn hurried to the front door as fast as she could with Billy right behind her. Sean was standing in the entrance hall, staring at them, and he dissolved in sobs in Billy’s arms, as Marilyn rushed upstairs to find Connie. She found her and Mike in their bedroom, holding each other and sobbing, and the moment she saw them Marilyn burst into tears, and sat down on the bed with them and put her arms around them.

“He was shot doing a drug deal in the Tenderloin,” Connie said in agony, as Mike just sat on the bed shaking and sobbing. “They said he was buying to sell, and he owed the dealer money. They got in an argument, and the dealer shot him.… My baby … my baby … they killed my baby.” She was inconsolable, and Mike was distraught, as Marilyn sat with them. She had no idea what to say or do for them, except be there, with her arms around her friends. She held Connie and rocked her in her arms, and then finally she got up and went downstairs to get water and tea. When she came back, she asked Connie if she wanted her to call their doctor, and she shook her head.

“We have to go and identify the body,” she said, dissolving in sobs again. “I’m afraid to see him.… I can’t.…” She was incoherent with grief, as Marilyn made her take a sip of water, and tightly squeezed Mike’s hand. Billy and Sean walked into the room then, and Marilyn was shocked to realize that Sean was now their only son. No matter how hard they had tried to save Kevin from himself, and how much they had loved him, he had outfoxed them in the end. They couldn’t stop him. Sean looked as heartbroken as his parents, and Billy was standing close to him, devastated for his friend. Kevin had been Sean’s hero as a little boy, and now he had been murdered in a drug deal, while buying drugs to sell them. Connie had been right when she’d thought he was slipping again. But he was elusive and never able to resist temptation for long, no matter how well he had appeared to be doing. It was frightening to realize how fast things could go wrong, and this was what it led to: grieving parents, and a child they had loved who was dead. Both parents and kids were so much more vulnerable than they knew.

Mike got up and shuffled aimlessly around the room as both women stared at him. They had to go to the morgue, and Marilyn couldn’t even imagine it.

“Do you want Jack to go with you?” Marilyn offered, and Mike shook his head and stared at her with eyes that looked like his soul was bleeding through them.

“No, I’ll do it,” he said softly, as Sean went and stood next to him.

“I’ll go with you, Dad,” he said bravely. He was shaking, and looked small next to Billy, although he wasn’t. And there was a shocking look of maturity in his eyes now. He wasn’t a boy, he was a man. Connie lay down on the bed and moaned softly, at the mention of identifying her son.

“I don’t want to see him that way,” Connie said, whimpering. “I can’t—it will kill me.” Mike picked up his car keys, and Sean followed his father out of the room, as Marilyn looked down at Connie.

“Why don’t you come home with me, until they get back?” Marilyn couldn’t bear to think of where they were going and what they’d be doing. “You can help me with the babies.” Connie nodded and got up. She moved like a robot when she did, as Marilyn led her out of the room and down the stairs. She was glad that Connie was willing to go with her. She seemed docile and broken. Marilyn helped her into the front seat, got in behind Billy, and he drove them back to their house, and as soon as Marilyn walked in, she heard both babies crying, and Jack appeared at the top of the stairs, holding one in each arm and looking frantic.

“They’ve been crying since you left,” he said, and then he saw Connie, and Marilyn hurried up the stairs, as she realized what had happened. Her milk had come in, and the whole front of her shirt was wet. Connie came up slowly behind her and followed them into the bedroom, while Billy went to call the others and tell them what had happened. It was the most shocking news any of them had ever heard. Marilyn was grateful that Brian was still out, and she asked Jack to call the parents of the boy he was with to keep him for a while, till dinnertime at least, until things settled down at the house, and Jack agreed. They wanted to do all they could to help Connie, Mike, and Sean.

Marilyn climbed into their bed, as Connie sat down in a rocking chair with a devastated expression. Marilyn opened her shirt, unhooked her nursing bra, and Jack handed both crying babies to her. She hadn’t gotten the hang of doing it with two of them yet, but she knew they needed to be fed, and she was the only one who had what they wanted. The babies’ timing was exactly what they had expected—they just hadn’t expected this tragedy to happen. Kevin O’Hara was dead at twenty-five.

Jack gently covered Marilyn with a blanket in case Billy walked in, and Connie sat watching her, crying softly. She could still remember nursing Kevin as though it was yesterday, and now he was gone. She just sat there and sobbed, and then at Marilyn’s invitation, she climbed into bed with her and sat next to her while she nursed her babies. It was comforting to Connie just to be there, and she gently stroked Daphne’s head while she lay at her mother’s breast and finally fell asleep. Jack took them from her as she finished nursing them, burped them, and set them down in their bassinets, and then he came to sit on the foot of the bed with the two women.

“I’m so sorry, Connie,” he said, as she nodded and continued crying, and Marilyn hugged her again. They sat there until Mike and Sean came to the house. Mike looked ashen after identifying Kevin. Sean hadn’t seen him, but both father and son had sobbed all the way back to Marilyn and Jack’s house to pick up Connie. They sat talking for a while, and Sean went to find Billy and then they went home. Marilyn told them to call if they needed anything, and she promised to come over in the morning. She was going to help Connie make the funeral arrangements. She couldn’t imagine living through it, or how devastated Connie must feel, and for a shameful moment, which she admitted to Jack later as she nursed their babies again, she had been grateful that it wasn’t one of her children. She couldn’t imagine losing Billy or Brian.

Brian came home after dinner and was shocked when they told him about Kevin. Both boys were sad and silent that night. None of their friends could believe it, nor could Marilyn and Jack. She called Connie again that night to see how she was doing. She still couldn’t stop crying. She said she’d been in Kevin’s room trying to pick a suit for him to wear in his casket, and she dissolved in sobs again as she said it. Marilyn felt terrible that she couldn’t be at the house with them that night, but she couldn’t leave Jack alone with the twins when they needed to be nursed. In the few hours since her milk had come in, they were ravenous, and it wasn’t fair to leave him with starving babies who wouldn’t be satisfied with anything he had to give them. The timing was terrible, but Marilyn was determined to manage it somehow. She called Judy and asked her to come to Connie’s with her the next day. She had just heard from Gabby what had happened, and she couldn’t believe it. It was horrifying to think about and had shocked them all.

Billy’s phone had been ringing all night as friends called him, and a little while later he went back to the O’Haras’ to stay with Sean. Izzie came over and sat and cried with them, and then Andy came by, and drove her home.

Billy was still at the house when Marilyn got there in the morning. Judy had picked her up and helped her with the babies, and they took turns manning the phones and doing whatever they could for Connie. She and Mike had to go to the funeral parlor that morning to pick a casket and make the arrangements. But there was so much more to do, people to call, among them the florist, the priest, and the newspaper about the obit. Connie did what she could while they were out. There was going to be a rosary, they had to write a notice of the funeral, and Connie said it was going to be at St. Dominic’s, which was their parish and where Kevin had received his first Communion and been confirmed. It was unthinkable to any of them that they were talking about Kevin’s funeral, and when Marilyn glanced at Mike, he looked like a broken man.

Sean was sitting on the front steps with Billy, who wore a woebegone expression. Gabby had come over, and Izzie showed up a little while later, and Andy called several times. No one knew what to do to help the O’Haras. They couldn’t bring Kevin back, and all they could do was be there for their friends. Marilyn couldn’t imagine living through it, but Connie was a strong woman, and by the time they left for the funeral parlor, she was able to stop crying at least for a few minutes. She was carrying Kevin’s suit with her on a hanger, and a white shirt and a tie, and she had socks and his dress shoes in a shopping bag. She looked sadly at Marilyn as she got into the car with her husband and reached out to hug her friend. The two women stood embracing for a long moment.

“Thank you” was all she was able to say without sobbing again.

“I love you” was all Marilyn could say, and from the bottom of her heart she meant it. “I’m so sorry.” Connie nodded and looked at her.

“I know,” she said, and with that, Mike started the car and they drove away, to the funeral parlor where their beautiful older son would be washed and dressed and have his hair combed for the last time.

Chapter 9

K
evin O’Hara’s funeral was unbearable, unthinkable, intolerable for the entire group. The parents sat there listening to the eulogy, horrified, and at the same time grateful that it hadn’t happened to their own child. The friends he had grown up with came to mourn him and remember what a sweet kid he had once been. Connie, Mike, and Sean sat in the front pew, looking like they’d been struck by lightning, as the closed casket sat in front of them, like a warning to them all.