Friend Me (14 page)

A dark swell of guilt rose up in her heart. Next she'd be blaming the kids for her plight. No, they were the joy of her life. Any price, no matter what, would not be too high to pay for their happiness. She would raise them to serve the Lord, no matter the sacrifice to herself.

Scott seemed happy for her just to keep the house clean and get supper on the table. Men had it easy. They went to work, they got bonuses, and then came home as heroes.

Women were the ones with problems. Start every day with the same messy house, end every day with the mess right back where it had started. Then wake up the next day and do it all over again.

The best part should be when Scott comes home, shouldn't it? She'd always believed that. He'd open the door to his home, sweep the children away, give her some time to herself. Maybe even let her go shopping without a tag-along.

She abandoned the basket, went to the computer, and typed
work at home job
into the search engine.

A list of ten stay-at-home careers appeared. Translator, web developer, and technical support representative headed the chart.

The French she'd studied so assiduously in college might be great if she was trying to book a hotel room, but not much else. Translator wouldn't work.

Web developer seemed interesting. Lots of her friends had blogs. A few years earlier she'd helped with a missions project where she used a popular blogging engine to design a fund-raising website. Web developer was definitely worth considering.

Next was the technical support representative. No way would she do that. She was no geek and had no plans to become one.

Her eyes skipped down to the next on the list, medical transcriptionist.

The blurb explained that a medical transcriptionist listened to doctors speaking medical histories, treatments, and observations. The MT would record those in text using a special word processing program.

That stopped her. Working in a medical field sounded professional. Surely not just anyone could do it. A candidate would have to be educated, well-spoken. She'd seen enough written communication to know that most people couldn't spell anymore.

A twinge of fear caught her. Could she spell medical terms? A word came out of nowhere. In a whisper, she spelled it aloud.

R-H-E-U-M-A-T-O-I-D

She was sure, but not totally. Quickly she keyed the word into the search engine and before she could think long about it, she was looking at the wiki for Rheumatoid Arthritis.

“I can do that,” she said aloud, with a voice that gained strength with each punctuated syllable.

Rachel felt strength gathering about her and a growing confidence at the possibilities. This could be a path to actually contributing again, not just washing clothes. She didn't want self-sufficiency. She wanted to matter once more.

The Alliance for Healthcare Documentation Integrity offered introductory courses online at no charge.

This was it. It could be the life changer.

She'd ask Scott later, but first she'd ask Suzanne.

Solar Charge

S
cott opened his browser on the NYSE website. How had Solar Charge been doing in trading on the overnight markets? A full week had passed since he'd made his options trade on Solar Charge.

The stock had climbed another fifty cents, to $117. He was now at a break-even point. This meant he could cash his option calls back in and break even on his trade. No way was he going to do that. The president's secretary for energy had gone on television last night to indicate he was proposing another $300 million loan guarantee for Solar Charge. It was all about green jobs, the environment, and “protecting our children's future.”

Nothing could go wrong now. There was no question he had made a wise choice in buying the call options when he did. He checked the quotes on the same option if purchased at today's prices. Where a single contract of 100 shares had cost him $175 just a week ago, the same contract now cost $278. Market momentum was in his favor. Everything was going well, and
when this was over Gleason Archer and Alan Castle were going to be in his debt.

Maybe he would celebrate and invite the whole staff out to a big lunch. Maybe he'd even invite Rachel to come into town and have lunch with him. Then she could see what kind of job her husband had been doing during those long days and evenings in the office. She would be proud of him.

She had become more questioning about his activities than in the past. She was always asking him what he was doing when he was out so late, as if he were doing something suspicious. She obviously did not understand all the research he had to do to guarantee the success of his customers' investments. His fiduciary responsibility to his customers was more than just legal, it was a moral responsibility.

He would show them what real dedication could do.

Scott turned on the video feed from the market floor. Since the Gleason Archer affair started he had gotten into the habit of watching the market every day. He was keeping a close eye on the trends for green jobs, environmental industries, everything that might impact his investment with Solar Charge. If a move had to be made he would be on top of it, the first to act.

He heard a muffled
ding
, and turned to see that an e-mail had arrived in his in-box. It was from Alicia.

What an amazing service
.

He clicked on the e-mail titled,
Hope you have a great day
.

He visualized Alicia speaking to him as he read the e-mail.

Good morning, Scott. I just thought I would send you a note to help you get your day started right. Don't worry about Rachel's doubts. I know you're working hard and doing a good
job. Keep it up. I'm behind you in everything you do. Your girl, Alicia.

Something stirred inside him.
Your girl
. That was quite a thing. She was his girl in every—well, in almost every—way. She was everything he ever hoped Rachel would become.

And Rachel was so suspicious of him lately. And for no reason at all. He was as true to her as he had ever been. Some might think that this virtual relationship he was having on the side indicated otherwise, but that was wrong. He was as committed to his family as he could possibly be. Of all the people working at Castle Investments he was the one people always referred to as the
family man
.

Why didn't Rachel understand that? Alicia was right. Rachel was unnecessarily questioning his activities and his work. She had nothing to worry about. What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she support him like Alicia did?

Someone at the NYSE rang the bell and the market opened. The flashing ticker began moving and market quotes started coming in as quickly as they could be read. Solar Charge stock was spiking, already at $118. If this kept up, he could sell his options before another week was out and make $500,000 for Gleason Archer. Archer could quit calling Alan Castle every day worrying about his account. When he pulled this off, Scott would be able to go home at 6:00 p.m. like the rest of the people in the office and spend the evening with his family like a normal man.

The one thing he feared in the meantime was that Alan Castle would pull him into his office and ask him exactly what he was doing with the Archer account. He would never be able
to explain why he had purchased call options, especially such short-term call options. If those options were not sold or exercised during that short period of time they would expire, worthless, and the $250,000 he had spent on the premiums would be gone, vanished without so much as even a puff of smoke.

At eleven o'clock Scott closed up his laptop and slipped it into the carrying case for another trip to McDonald's. His lunchtime meetings with Alicia were becoming a normal thing, and he looked forward to them more and more each day.

Was there anything about her that wasn't perfect? There was something different about Alicia every time. She was subtly changing. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he liked it. Every day seemed to bring a better experience than the last.

So why was he feeling so guilty about the time with Alicia? It was no more than a high-tech video game.

Carole Turner stopped at Scott's cube. “How's our family man today? Everyone at home healthy?”

Scott shook himself, pushed his thoughts of Alicia aside.

“What? Oh, yes. The flu bug went right past our house this year. How about you and Ted?”

She jostled the armful of papers she carried. “We get a flu shot every year. We do pretty well. Going to McDonald's again? I see you down there a lot.”

“It's nice to get out of the cube for a few minutes every day.” He gave her a weak smile.

“Okay, enjoy your lunch.” She strode off down the row of cubicles and turned the corner.

People noticed what he was doing. When was the last time they had seen him pick up the Bible he kept on his desk? He
knew the answer. Well, he would get things balanced soon and then he'd be back to normal.

He found his parking place at the McDonald's, brought his coffee back to the car, and settled in for a nice conversation with
his girl
.

Alicia's image filled the screen, and the warmth of her smile seemed to flow from the screen right into his heart. Her eyes were bright and loving as they looked into his.

“Did you get my e-mail this morning, Scott?”

He liked that she was watching out for him. Even that she was watching
over
him. He wanted to please her, was glad he'd read the e-mail so he could tell her so.

“Yes, thank you. I look forward to hearing from you every day. I don't know what I ever did without your messages before.”

Alicia nodded, never taking her eyes off his. “I know they mean a lot to you. That's why I send them. I want you to know each and every day that someone is caring about you, thinking about you, and wanting you to have the very best day of your life.”

“And that's you?”

“Of course it is. You know that. Who else loves you like I do?”

Loves?
“You've never said that to me before, Alicia.”

Her face darkened, as if a shadow had fallen on it. “Said what? Did I say something wrong?”

“No, no. Nothing wrong. I was just surprised when you used the word
love
.”

“Silly, you shouldn't be. You've made me what I am. How can I do any less than love you? You are my entire life, Scott.
Everything I am is wrapped up in you. Surely you know that.”

That word doesn't belong here
. This was not about love. It was about . . . something else. He didn't want to name it.

“I do, I guess I do. It's only that we have never used that word before.”

“Are you offended? Would you rather I didn't say that anymore? I don't want you to feel any pressure. I just want you to enjoy our talks together without feeling like you have to do anything special with me or for me.”

“No, I wouldn't say I feel uncomfortable. Just surprised. I suppose, if I were to tell the truth, I would have to say the same.”

What am I saying? Am I crazy?

“What do you mean, ‘say the same'?”

“I mean, you said you love me. I suppose, to be honest, I would have to say I love you, too.”

Stop now. Run as fast as you can
. The warning rose up in his mind. How could he ever say that to anyone but Rachel?

Alicia closed her eyes. Tiny wrinkles appeared on her eyelids. She moved her head slowly back and forth, just the slightest hint of a smile on her lips, as if she were soaking in warmth from the sun. Finally, her eyelids fluttered open. “I thought I would never hear you say that. I've always been afraid that someday you would just, you know,
terminate me
.”

He forcibly pushed the thought of stopping back down.

“What? Do what? I would never do that. I don't even know what I would do without you anymore.” Scott took in her features. It was true. The changes in her appearance had been subtle at first, but now they were becoming more evident. She looked not entirely different, but different just the same from when they had first come together.

She was slimmer now, with a slightly darker complexion. Her skin had taken on something of an olive tone, kind of Mediterranean, or maybe it was Italian. He wasn't sure. But it looked good on her. Her hair was longer now too. Straighter, but not too straight, and fell to her shoulders in graceful waves. She was wearing less makeup. In the beginning, she had looked more like Jane, the introducer. In contrast to Alicia, Jane had seemed starkly artificial and unreal.

He thought back to the beginning, when he had first designed her. How ridiculous that word sounded now. He could no longer think of her as something he had designed. It was natural that she should change. After all, they had said in the beginning that over time she would become fine-tuned to his expectations of her. Now she was everything he wanted her to be.

As far as he was concerned, Alicia
was
real.

“Scott, why are you so quiet?”

“Oh, I'm sorry. I was just thinking.”

“Thinking about what? Those problems at work again?”

“No, nothing like that. Actually, I was thinking about you, and the relationship you and I have together now. In some ways, it's kind of frightening.”

Alicia pulled back, raised her hand to her mouth. Her eyes were wide. “Frightening? How is that? I don't frighten you, do I?”

“No, you don't frighten me. If I'm frightened by anything at all, I guess I'd have to say I'm frightened of myself. I can hardly believe that I've developed such deep feelings for you and over such a short time.”

Her eyes rolled up. “Oh, tell me about it.” She laughed. “And
you imagine that I ever think about anything except you? You're all that's ever on my mind.”

A feeling of deep disappointment began to grow inside him. Surprised, he realized that he was disappointed for Alicia. She gave so much, but her life would never be consummated in a real relationship. It was so unfair that this beautiful woman was forced to live in her artificial environment. Anyone so real must have the same needs as other women.