Freight Trained (14 page)

"This isn't how I envisioned spending the rest of my day."  He finally looked at her.  "The last thing I want to do right now is drive all the way up to Albuquerque and leave you here."

She squeezed his hand.  She could tell his words were sincere so meant it when she said, "It's okay, you don't need to explain yourself to me."

His features became tight again, his lips a hard line, and she guessed that hadn't been the response he wanted.  "Yes, I do," he said, squeezing her hand back.  "And I will.  Listen, there are some things you need to know before
–
" The ringing of his phone cut off what he was about to say.  "Fuck."  His frustration was evident as he answered, but he kept his tone calm as he spoke into the phone, "Yeah."  He listened for a few minutes.  "Okay, I'll be there soon."  After hanging up, he leaned over, giving her a light kiss on the lips.  "Let's get you inside."

Worry and impatience radiated off him, and she figured he needed to hit the road.  Whatever those phone calls had been about, it sounded like an emergency, and she didn't want to be the cause of any delays. 

Abby clicked off her e-reader and sat up from her lounging position on the couch disturbing Lucky, who lay at her feet.  "Shall we try to go potty then get in bed?"  She asked, giving him a scratch behind the ears.  She set her e-reader on the coffee table and stood with a stretch before making her way to the back door off the kitchen.  "Come on Lucky."  She grabbed the door handle and swung the door wide.  She wasn't expecting to be greeted with the bouquet of red roses that sat on her stoop.  She picked up the vase, smiling as she breathed in the flower's rich fragrance before setting them on her kitchen counter. 

"Come on, little guy."  She stepped out the back door, hoping Lucky would follow while pulling her cell from her back pocket and hitting Cole's number.  "Go potty," she encouraged as she listened to the line ring.

After three rings, he answered, "Hey."

"Hey, yourself."  She was sure the smile she still wore came through in her voice.  "Why didn't you knock when you stopped by?  It's not that late, I'm still up."

"What are you talking about?  I'm not home yet." 

"Then who... Oh, um..." she trailed off when realizing Cole hadn't given her the flowers.  The pang of disappointment was unexpected, and she felt her good mood drain away slowly replaced by confusion over who'd left them.

"What the hell is going on?  Why do you think I was there?"  His voice had grown lower and deeper, and she was coming to recognize it as the voice he used when he was not happy.

She felt embarrassed to say anything now, knowing he hadn't been the one to leave her the flowers and assuming he had.  "I ugh, went to take Lucky out before we turned in for the night and found a vase full of roses on my back porch."  She giggled nervously.  "I just assumed they were from you."  Silence descended after her announcement.  Gah, that sounded even more pathetic when said aloud.  Guess the old idiom was true about when you assume, it makes an
ass
of
u
and
me.

Abby looked around and spotted Lucky trying to crawl into one of the only three small bushes she had in the yard.  Worried it housed a snake or some other deadly varmint, she shouted, "Lucky come here.  Get out of that bush." 

To which she heard an instant reply growled in her ear.  "Please tell me you aren't still outside."

"I told you I was out walking the pup."

"I'm about thirty minutes away.  Get in the house and lock the doors, and don't unlock them until I get there."

"Cole, don't you think you're overreacting a little bit."

"Abby, I'm a half hour away from you, I'm totally powerless, and I can't tell you how much I fucking hate that.  Now, get in the fucking house and lock the fucking door.  Please."

She held the phone away from her ear when he started yelling and was currently scowling at it.  "Lucky, come on, boy."  She called out instead of answering Cole.  Once she was back in the house with the door locked, she put the phone to her ear.  "There, I'm in, and everything's locked up.  Guess you're not
totally
powerless."  Okay, that might of come out more sarcastic than she'd intended, but Cole really needed to learn to tone down his Mr. Bossy attitude.

His answering chuckle didn't help her pissed-off-ness.  "You can yell at me all you want when I get there.  Until then stay locked up." 

His sudden good mood pissed her off more.  "I'm in.  It's locked.  What more do you want?"

"Thank you, baby.  I'll see you in twenty."

Yeah, well, the baby was nice, but he was still getting an earful once he showed up.

Abby was pretty much over being mad by the time Cole called back to tell her he was at her front door.  Without the subject of her pique there to jab and poke at, a person could only sit and stew alone for so long and still keep their temper.

As soon as she unlocked the deadbolt, he pushed through the door.  His energy creating a living entity, filling her small space.  Lucky trotted up and sat at his boots, giving him a friendly yap, but Cole's eyes were fixed firmly on Abby, sweeping her from head to toe as if assessing she were in the same condition he'd left her in.  She was, not even her clothes had changed.

"Where are they?"

Abby blinked not understanding the question.  "Pardon?"

Cole ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, and she noticed how tired he looked.  "The flowers, Darlin', where are they at?"

"Oh, in the kitchen."  She pointed to the kitchen counter, and he turned to look that direction. 

He reached the kitchen in four of his long strides then inspected the flowers, moving roses around in the vase.  "There's no card.  I checked for one already."

His eyes shot up from the bouquet, spearing her with a look.  Oh, hell no.  Mr. Bossy attitude better not make a reappearance.  She placed her hands on her hips and gave him dagger eyes right back.  "What?" She threw out with attitude.  "I thought they were from you."

His eyes went from hard to soft in a blink.  He stepped around the kitchen counter and stalked over to her before capturing her hips in his hands.  "Something you should know up front.  I'm not a flowers and chocolate kind of guy.  I don't know dick about romance.  So if that's what you're expecting..." He trailed off like he wanted to say something then thought better of it.  "I just don't want you to be disappointed."

He was wrong.  Some of his romantic gestures may have been unconventional, but they
were
romantic if you read between the lines.  The puppy sitting at their feet being the perfect example.  Not that she would tell him that.  She had a sneaky suspicion he would scoff at the very idea.  She placed her hands on his hips, interlocking the two of them together.  She looked up at his handsome face, absorbing each of his masculine features and said softly, "I don't think you could ever disappoint me."

"Then you're not as smart as I thought you were."

She let him see her flash of anger.  "Maybe, I just don't have high expectations."

He gave her a smirk, but his expression was far from humorous.  "Then you're even more foolish than I thought because a woman like you should expect the world."

His tone was cutting, but she felt her heart melt as his words penetrated.  She placed her hand on his chest.  "And I'm sure a man like you is quite capable of giving it."

He drew a feather-light line down her nose, over her lips, stopping with his fingertip resting on her chin before saying gruffly, "For you, I would try."

"Then that's all a girl could ask for."

Their "moment" didn't last long before Mr. Bossy was back on the scene.  "Go pack some shit, so we can get the hell out of here."

"What? I'm not going anywhere."

Cole had a hand on his hip the other he ran through his hair.  "Listen, I didn't like you staying here by yourself before, but I sure as hell won't allow it now."

Abby's spine stiffened in outrage.  "You won't
allow
it?"

"Yeah, I won't allow it.  Now go get your shit.  If you want to fight about this further, we'll do it at my house."

She gritted her teeth.  "If we fight about it at your house, that means I'm already there, and you'll have already gotten your way."

He gave her a wicked grin.  "Yeah, I know."

"You're unbelievable, did you know that?" 

He took her by the shoulders, turning her until she faced her bedroom door.  She felt his lips gently brush the back of her neck before he spoke low in her ear.  "Darlin', it's late, I drove over three hours today, and I'm tired.  If you're here alone, I'll worry, and I won't be able to sleep and that would mean another crap day tomorrow.  So please, pack some shit so I can take you home."  He gave her shoulders a light push in the direction of her bedroom.

With a resigned sigh, she kept walking.  She wasn't sure whether it was the way he said please or the fact that she didn't want him losing sleep over her that had her giving in.  She would pack some "shit" and go home with him.  But not wanting to seem a complete pushover, when she reached her bedroom door she turned her head to look back at him.  "The only reason I'm doing this without a fuss is because you said please.  Remember that, Mr. Bossy."  She disappeared into her room before he could reply.

Cole was silent the whole drive to his house, and it wasn't until he pulled into his garage and shut off the truck's engine that he turned to her and spoke.  "We need to talk."

Abby felt her heart flutter, and a sick feeling cramped her stomach at his ominous words.  She'd read way too many books and seen too many movies not to know those four little words never turned out well.  Did this have something to do with where he went this afternoon?  Did she give him one more chance only to have him back out again? 

When she didn't respond, he ran a hand through his hair and again, she noticed how tired he looked.  Without thinking she reached out, resting her hand on his thigh, trying to offer some form of comfort.  His gaze swung to hers, and their eyes locked before he placed his hand over hers, giving it a gentle squeeze.   

He got out of the truck, went around to her side, and opened her door, taking the squirming puppy from her lap before helping her out.  The house was dark, and Cole began flipping on lights as he made his way to the kitchen.  "You want something to drink?"  He asked, as he got a bowl from the cupboard and filled it with water before setting it on the floor for Lucky.

Abby had trailed slowly behind him, stopping at the breakfast bar as she watched him go into the fridge and pull out a beer.  "No, I'm good."

He took a long swig before taking her by the hand and leading her to the couch.  Bending, he set his beer on the coffee table before plopping down on the couch and grabbing Abby by her hips, pulling her down to straddle his lap.  Her hands automatically reached for his shoulders to steady herself.

"Before we take things any further, before I touch you, there's some things you need to know.  Things that might change your mind about me."

I'm not going to change my mind about you, Cole."

"Hear me out, baby, before you decide."  He let out a sigh.  "I'm not good at putting my feelings into words, but the first time I saw you, I knew there was something about you, something different from any other woman I've ever laid my eyes on, something that shouted to me you were special.

"In the time I've spent with you, I've discovered my instincts were right.  You are special.  You're one of a kind.  A beautiful package inside and out wrapped up in a fuck-me bow that's all mine to unravel.  But you're not mine, not yet, not until I tell you about the real me and hope like Christ it doesn't send you packing."

He leaned his head back against the couch, closing his eyes and Abby stayed quiet, waiting for him to continue not wanting to interrupt his thoughts.  His hands tightened on her hips as if trying to hold her in place, but there was nowhere she wanted to go, no place she would rather be than here with him.

He raised his head and slowly opened his eyes to look at her.  The hurt and uncertainty in their depths was almost her undoing.   She wanted nothing more than to wipe his fear away, wrap him in her arms, and tell him everything would be okay, but she knew he would never believe that, at least, not until he told her all that he thought needed saying.

"I've never been close to anyone, never shared my past, what I've done, the lives I've destroyed, but I know if there's going to be any hope of a you and me, I need to tell you everything.  All my faults, all my sins.  You'll be my confessor of sorts, which seems rather fitting seeing as the first time I kissed you, I thought you could be the one person to save me."

"Save you from what?" she asked barely above a whisper.

"From my guilt.  The guilt of killing three people."

Abby inhaled a shocked breath while shaking her head slowly in disbelief.  No, she refused to believe he killed three people.  "I don't believe you," she said, with conviction.

He shrugged a shoulder.  "I may not have pulled the proverbial trigger, but my selfishness killed them, all the same."

"For me to understand, you're going to have to explain better than that."