Freedom is Slavery (27 page)

He licked my fingers clean, like a good boy, and I gave him a wet rag to clean himself up with. I gave him ten minutes to get dressed and put his blindfold back on. Before we left I had him slide down his pants and panties to place a greased plug up his ass. It was small, about the size of my index finger, and I told him that he was taking his first step into a much larger world.

When Louis got home he wrote me a long letter describing all of his feelings and sensations that he experienced during our first time together. I literally laughed out loud when he wrote, "I feel like you’ve known me all my life." I wonder how he’ll handle it when he finds out who I am but I don’t really care. By then I’ll have quite a photo album that I can use to blackmail him, if need be.

My divorce had left me depressed to the point where I contemplated ending my life. Every day as I drove home from work tears would fill my eyes and I’d sob uncontrollably as I headed for my new, small one-room apartment.

After a month of this, I knew I had to get some help. I did the research and found a therapist who came highly recommended. I have to admit; I never put much stock into therapy. I probably got a negative impression of it courtesy of my ex-wife. She went twice a week and it never seemed to help her at all.

It took me a while to warm up to Dr. Caroline Herzog. She and her husband, Charles, ran a practice in a posh office in Birmingham. It was a bit of a hike from where I worked but it seemed to help once I got over my initial reticence to open up and share my problems. I had been shut down for so long by my ex- that sharing was scary.

One thing that helped immensely was Dr. Herzog’s calm, soothing voice and delicate manner. She kept her office dimly lit, making it easy for me to relax. It was my fourth or fifth session as I sat, reaching for words, that I tuned into the sound of her ticking grandfather clock.

"Wow," I said. "The ticking, the low lights, you could probably hypnotize me without much effort."

"Is that something that interests you?" she asked, with more interest in her voice than I thought she should have. Being the way I am, the idea that I might please her by being into hypnosis made me immediately ascent.

"Oh, yes, that might help me get over some of these barriers I have; let me open up easier."

"Interesting," she noted, "let’s discuss that more next week."

From then on, the last twenty minutes or more of each session were spent putting me under. It took a while the first few times but, after I got used to it, Dr. Herzog could put me into a hypnotic state with a word. Being under hypnosis reminded me quite a bit of being drunk. And, like drinking too much, there were times where I would awake with black holes in my memory. That is, twenty minutes would have passed but it felt like two.

My life really started to turn around. I felt so much better, having discussed things that I hadn’t ever talked about before. I made connections and started to figure out why I had allowed myself to get into such an awful relationship. Moreover, I actually felt physically better. I started losing weight and this helped improve my self-esteem. Then came the day I’ll never forget.

"Louis, you’ve been coming here for nearly a year now and you seem to be making great leaps in your progress. I want you to know exactly why that is," said Dr. Herzog as she sat down across from me. She crossed her shapely legs and I looked up quickly to her eyes, trying to not appear distracted. "Today is the day that we introduce you to yourself."

Puzzled, I let her words hang in the air.

"Yes," she said, "I know that sounds strange. But it’s been helpful for me to think of you as two people for the last few months. There’s Louis, who sits here before me, and there’s someone else that occupies this room when you’re here."

"Okay, now you’re starting to freak me out. This sounds like
The Exorcist
or something." I chuckled nervously.

"If you’ll allow me, I’m going to put you under hypnosis and take you to a state where you will see who I’m talking about." With a word, she put me under, but brought me out of it enough for me to see through the haze.

"Now, just be patient, Louis, and follow my lead." With that, she crossed the room to retrieve a full length mirror which she placed across from me. But, it couldn’t have been a mirror as it didn’t reflect my own image. Rather, it seemed to be a painting of a beautiful woman. But... did I see the painting move?

"Louis, meet Wendy. Wendy, this is Louis."

"Hello," I said, and heard my own voice twice. One was my normal tone and, above that, I heard a higher pitched feminine voice also saying "Hello."

Seeing how confused I was, Dr. Herzog began to explain. "Louis, it was clear after just a few of our sessions that you are, and always have been, for lack of a better term, a sissy. I could tell by your mannerisms and, once I had you in a hypnotic state, I could dig deeper and find that my theory was valid. You have scores of repressed memories that have been gnawing at you for years. After consulting heavily with my husband, we decided that the best thing for you was to bring out your ‘sissy side’ and allow her to flourish. Her name is Wendy. That was her name, not one that we provided."

The whole while Dr. Herzog was talking, I watched Wendy. She smoothed down her short skirt, crossed and uncrossed her legs self-consciously, and adjusted her brunette locks. I felt very bad for Dr. Herzog, knowing that she must be having some kind of breakdown, thinking that this other woman in the room wasn’t real. Yet, every time Dr. Herzog said the name, "Wendy," I felt an electric charge run down my spine.

"She’s been inside of you since you were ten. It’s not as though you have multiple personality disorder—my husband and I have seen this kind of thing before with other patients. You simply have denied yourself and your needs for so long that Wendy grew apart from you. We’ve brought her out of the dark, shown her the light, and now it’s time to reconcile."

And, with that, the girl in the mirror was gone. She was replaced by my own image. I held up my hand to touch the surface of the glass and that was when I noticed that my fingernails were long and painted deep red. I looked down to see myself no longer in my khaki pants and oxford shirt but in a skirt and blouse. I reached down to make sure that this wasn’t some kind of optical illusion. But, no, I was now dressed exactly as Wendy.

I am Wendy
, I thought. With that, it felt like I had been dipped into a cool stream. My body relaxed, my posture changed, the world seemed a bit brighter. I felt wide awake, rather than in hypnosis. My body tingled everywhere.

"Welcome back, Wendy," said Dr. Herzog. "It’s always a pleasure to have you here."

"Oh, it’s your pleasure and everyone else’s, if I have my way!" I said, with Wendy’s voice and her words coming out of my mouth. My voice was high and girly.

Dr. Herzog tittered, nothing I have seen her do before.

"How do you think he’s handling it?" she asked, referring to Louis, the boy that lived with me.

"Oh, a bit shocked, but I’m sure he’ll survive. This next part will be the worst—or the best—for him, depending on how you look at it. He’ll probably feel a bit betrayed, finding out that I’ve been using up all of his precious therapy time!"

We laughed like old girlfriends. We got closer and Dr. Herzog put her hand on my elbow, like a sign of confidence.

"I’m going to say some things to you now that you and I both know, but he should hear these before we proceed. This is the first time he’s had any awareness while he was under since we began," she said.

I nodded and she continued, "Ever since you were a little boy, you’ve been a little girl. You’ve had urges to dress up in pretty things, to please women, and to please men. You’ve been unhappy for years because you’ve been denying what you are. But, for my husband and me, you’ve been what you need to be."

And, without warning, I said, "A cocksucker."

Dr. Herzog laughed aloud, "Yes! A little sissy cocksucker. But you do so much more than just that, don’t you, Wendy?"

"Oh yes, quite a bit. Shall we demonstrate for Louis?" I said, with a voice not my own.

"You know you want to, even if he’s not paying attention." With that, Dr. Herzog stood up and turned around, leaning over her desk. She lifted up the back of her skirt to reveal that she had nothing underneath save for garters and stockings. She was revealing her bare bottom and shaved pussy to Wendy/me.

I got behind her and could smell her sweet scent. I went to lick her pussy when I heard her say, "That’s Louis doing that. You know where to start, bitch."

Her small correction had me diving into her asshole, my tongue licking and probing into her tight rosebud. As myself, I had never done this, but Wendy seemed to have a knack. She had Dr. Herzog moaning and even stamping her feet at times. I kept on licking, furiously, my tongue sliding up and down the crack of her ass before sliding, once again, in and out of her. I wasn’t sure but it seemed that Dr. Herzog might have actually orgasmed while I tongued her tight asshole.

She pushed me away before turning over and resting her butt on the edge of her desk. She spread her legs for me and commanded, "Lick it, bitch."

I didn’t have to be told twice. Even when I wasn’t Wendy, I had wanted to do what I was doing now, finding the hard bud of her clit and bathing it with my tongue. Licking with abandon, tasting her, feeling her wetness all over my face as I brought her closer to (another?) orgasm.

"Oh, that’s right, you sissy bitch. You cock sucking faggot. You little slut, lick me. Make me cum. Oh, shit, I’m going to cum all over your face." She began shaking and almost convulsing under my tongue as she muttered more obscenities which soon turned into a small howl of pleasure. Again, she pushed my head back, and allowed herself to catch her breath while I lay my head on her thigh.

She got up and straightened her skirt. "That was probably the easy part. Now for the bit that might get Louis all upset. Just remember, Wendy, you’re in charge here. Well, actually, I’m in charge..."

I giggled. I actually giggled when she said that. It was a girly little giggle that felt as natural as the sun coming up in the morning.

She reached across her desk to an intercom. "Come." It seemed to only take a second before the door opened, revealing the other Dr. Herzog—my therapist’s handsome husband. "Charles, do come in and help this poor girl out," she said, indicating me.

Charles grinned. Though he was older than his wife by at least ten years, he was still in very good shape and had a rugged look about him. As Wendy, I licked my lips at the sight of him.

"Is tonight the night?" he asked expectantly. His deep voice thrilled me.

"Oh yes. We have Wendy here in front of us, with Louis in the background, seeing all of this."

"Excellent. It’s like having a virgin, in a way." They laughed at a private joke.

He stood in the middle of the room, waiting. "Wendy, come to me. Come to Daddy."

Without having to be told, I got down on my knees and crawled to him, with only the slightest fear that my stockings might run. I got up on my knees when I was close enough to him and began to undo his belt. I pulled down his trousers and boxer shorts to come face to face with his growing cock. Looking at it, I knew that I had been in this position before in this very office. I wondered how many times.

"Now, take it in your mouth, Wendy, and get it all the way hard," Dr. Herzog told me.

"It’s funny, look at the hesitation," Charles noted as I took the tip of his cock into my mouth. "Usually, you’ve got me down your throat before you even have my belt undone, little girl."

I found myself savoring this. Despite his words, there was no hesitation in my eyes. I was feeling a man’s cock in my mouth for the first time—the first time I had been aware of it, at any rate. I could feel my tongue pushing back his foreskin and feeling the soft flesh underneath. I felt the heat of his skin as blood rushed to make his member turgid and fill my mouth. I moved my tongue around and around his cock, enjoying every inch.

"Oh, that’s a good girl," he said, as he touched my cheek.

"I should have set up the video camera again," Dr. Herzog pouted. "This would have made such an interesting case study. Or at least a fun video for our next party. Oh well, we’ll just have to get her to perform in person."

"Her or him?" Charles asked.

"Patience, honey, patience. Let her get the whole thing in at least. I’m still debating if this is the best position to have her in."

Unconsciously, I found myself stroking the base of his cock with one hand while I reached behind him, grabbing his ass and pushing him deeper inside of my mouth with the other.

"Oh, look, she seems to remember how good it is," Dr. Herzog said. She still sat on the edge of her desk, one leg up now and her fingers inside of her.

I couldn’t help it but I moaned around his cock. I was enjoying this. I don’t even think it was Wendy enjoying it as much as it was me.

Could Dr. Herzog be right? Could this have been what was making my life so much better?

"Oh, shit, here we go. She’s getting the taste back for it. Oh yeah, this is the Wendy I can count on to suck my cock so well," he said. "Oh, hon, I’m going to need to fuck this bitch."

"All right, bring her up here. Put her up on my desk," said Dr. Herzog, moving off of her desk and sitting in her chair where she could get a good view. Charles had me stand up and he moved me to his wife’s desk. He kissed me on the mouth and then laid me back, pulling down my panties, lifting up my skirt, and laying me down.

Dr. Herzog looked down at me, patting my hand, "God, I love to watch you get fucked," she said with a wicked grin.

"You know I won’t fuck you, Wendy, until you ask for it," Charles said, his cock resting against my hard member. I was surprised to see how hard my own cock was and how good it looked with Charles’ right next to it.

I didn’t hesitate to say, "Please, Daddy, please fuck me. Please fuck me. I need it. Make me yours. Make me your bitch." I could see how this pleased him as he looked down and maneuvered his dick into position.