Free Agent (14 page)

I was going to lock up the office, set the alarm and met Ronnie at my place. I was just going to pick up the Rover and then maybe pick Deja up.

That’s exactly how it went. I came home and Ronnie was here waiting for me. I went into my moms place and played with my little cousins. Hannah looked sad but I’m sure she knows something’s going on with her parents. Hannah was smart. She was like a little version of my sister. Ronnie dropped me off at the gym and some muscular chick tried to pick me up. Deja had me all gone in the head and I didn’t even really notice other girls anymore.

I used Uncle’s Rover to pick up Deja. She looked good enough to eat. She was wearing a buttoned up shirt and sweats. Odd combination but everything looks good on her sexy body.

As soon as Deja entered my place she kicked her shoes off at the front door. I did the same.

“Are we staying in tonight?”

“Yeah, I’m tired.”

“Why did I come over if you’re tired?”

“I’m never tired of being around you. You can come over whenever you want.” I walked pass Deja and went into the kitchen. “You hungry?”

“No I had a Chicken Caesar salad after class.”

I went into the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of beer. Deja didn’t drink and I usually didn’t drink around her but today I was going to have a drink. I saw her judgmental eyes on me. “I’m only going to have one. It will wear off by the time I take you home.” I twisted the top off the beer.

“I didn’t say anything.” She was eyeing me cautiously. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m good.” I opened the drawer under the cabinet. I dug in the drawer and found a single key with a Las Vegas keychain attached to it. I placed the key in her hands.

“What’s this?” She asked.

“Key to my place. You can come over whenever you want.”

“You’re giving me a key?”

“Yeah.” I shrugged and took a swig of beer. “Let’s go to the bedroom.” Deja followed me to my bedroom.

Deja noticed the bag with the shoebox on top of my bed right away. “Can I see your shoes?”

“Yeah, they’re your shoes.”

“Mine?”

“Yeah.”

“You bought me gym shoes?”

“Yeah.” I shrugged.

“You don’t even know what size shoe I wear?”

“Babe, I know everything there is to know about you.”

Deja removed the bright orange Nike shoebox from the bag. She flipped the lid on the box. “RJ these are for me?” She was inspecting one of the sneakers. “I love them. They are what I would buy for myself. They’re my style. They’re my color. You pay attention to everything.”

“I have an eye for detail.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcomed.” I winked.

I removed my pants and my shirt and I crawled in bed under the sheets. Deja was trying on the shoe. I reached for the remote control and turned the TV on. 

“RJ, how long are you going to wait for me?”

I knew what she was getting at. “I don’t know. I could lie and say forever but I just don’t know. Right now I’m good.”

“So you’re not mad? I made you go get tested.”

“You can’t make me do anything I don’t want to do. You asked me to do it and I did because I want to make you feel comfortable.”

“I feel bad.”

“You feel bad because you lead me to believe that if I got tested you would sleep with me. Deja, it’s your body. You don’t have to ever have sex with me if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t know what I want to do. I thought I did. I thought it would be easy but it’s hard. I know, I think I have these intense feelings for you.”

“You think it or do you really believe it. I know for a fact that I’m falling hard for you. I’m not afraid to admit it. It is what it is. You can still hold on to your virginity and fall in love with me.”

“If I fall in love with you then I would want to give you my virginity.”

“That’s probably true. All I’m saying is you can love me.”

“I’m afraid to love you.”

“I promise if you love me I will love you back.”

“Why do you say things like that? Now what am I supposed to do.”

“Do what you feel. Tell me you love me. I know that you do.”

“No, you tell me you love me.”

I turned the TV off. “Deja, look at me.” Deja turned her smiling face to mine and suddenly the smile was gone. “I, love, you.” There I said it. She stopped breathing. I bridged the gap between us and my lips floated down for a kiss. It was soft and gentle. It was all I had to give; being in bed with her after I said those magical words were a prequel to a hard-on.

“RJ.”

“Listen I know you think I said it so I could get inside you. Deja I have never told any girl that I love her.”

“I can’t believe that. You had Selena sending you naked pictures. She slashed your tire and she ran away crying her eyes out over you.”

“You should believe me. I never said I love you to any other girl but you. How can we be in a relationship when you can’t trust me or trust what I say? I think I’ve shown you that you can trust me. I give you a key to my place. You met my moms and pops. I never did that before. I told you I love you. You know I’m not with anybody else.”

“I know. I do trust you. I’m just so scared.”

“Scared of me?”

“I’m afraid you’re going to hurt me.”

“Deja, I’m afraid you’re going to hurt me.”

Deja was back to smiling. “If you promise not to hurt me then I promise not to hurt you.”

“I promise.”

“I promise. I hate being a virgin.”

“You don’t have to be. I can rectify this right now.”

“I’m so sure you can. Being a virgin feels like I’m the only person without a Facebook page.”

“That’s a terrible feeling. I could help you set up your profile.
I’m going to hate it when you graduate.”

“Why?”

“Why do you think? I know you’re going to be a doctor. There’s no way you’re going to stay my girlfriend.”

“But I want to. I want to stay together. I’m not going out of the state. I’m only going to U.I.C. It’s like forty minutes away.”

“I’m not even living on campus. I’m coming home every day.”

“Yeah I know but I’m going to miss you. I love you.” I said it again.

“I love you.”

“I have never felt like this. Sometimes when I touch you I feel like I can’t breathe. I may be just the first man you ever had feelings for or the first person you ever loved but to me, you are the only person I ever loved. The only person I ever want to love.”

“You are not the only,” Deja broke down in tears. What the fuck?

“What? Why are you crying?”

It took her two or three minutes to catch her breathe. She was scaring me. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t figure out what I said or where my words went wrong.

“I’m so afraid. If I have sex with you,” She gasped. “You will leave me. You want me because you never had me.”

“You are fucking stupid if you think that.” I jumped right off the bed. What am I doing in this relationship? “You are a child. Grow up, how can you say that?”

I went straight for the kitchen. I needed another beer. I changed who I am for some girl that thinks I’m some sex crazed asshole. I opened my beer and stormed back into the bedroom. She was standing on one side of the bed. I stood on the other side.

I glared at her. Christ! I was so mad. “All this time we’ve spent together and you think I’m going to dump you after we fuck. I would never fuck you. I would make love to you. You think my words are bullshit! So I’m lying when I say I love you?”

“I don’t know--”

“Shut the fuck up! If I didn’t love you I would have already had you. Do you really think I couldn’t have had you a long time ago? Do you know how easy it was to get in between your legs? Getting in between any woman’s legs is easy for me. I’m fucking better than good at that shit. You are no match for me. I didn’t take you because I care about you, because I love you. I let you think you had control over your own body.”

“You can’t control my body you asshole.” Deja jumped on top of my bed and she came at me with her fists balled. She swung on me and I leaned back and her swing missed me. Is she crazy?

“Look, I’m not Selena. You can’t hit me.”

Deja tried to punch me again. I grabbed her little fist in my hand and twisted it. I still had my beer in my other hand. This would have been funny as hell if it wasn’t friggin’ happening to me. I had her fist twisted in one hand and I put the beer on the nightstand with the other.

I think she tried to kick me but I had already taken her down on the bed and straddled her. I use to wrestle in high school. I guess I never told her that. She was breathing like she had run a marathon and I hadn’t did much to her at all.

“Pipe down, Deja.” She wasn’t moving. I weighed too much for her to go anywhere. She was calming herself down by the second. She was glaring at me like she could fuck me up. But of course she can’t so I kind of smirked in her face.

I pinned both her arms above her head with one of my hands. 

“RJ, get off me.”

“Deja, make me.” I started unbuttoning her shirt. Her eyes were spitting fire at me. She couldn’t do anything about it. It’s not like she can stop me. When I opened her shirt I saw her shiny yellow bra. That yellow bra was the thumbs up I needed to keep going. Her bra’s clasp was in the front. It’s my lucky day. I reached for it.

“RJ, no don’t.” She was begging.

“I can’t hear you.” Pop! I undid her bra and both her tits popped right out.

“Get off me. I’m going to fuck you up.” She wiggled underneath me and her tits jiggled like Jell-O. Yum, yum!

“You’re not going to do a damn thing.” I just got my balls back. My balls were telling me to grab a tit, squeeze a nipple and mush one of those tits in my mouth. So that’s what I did. I moved right over to tit number two and I sucked it hard. I had stretched her nipples to the ceiling. They were standing tall and pointing right at me. Deja’s mouth was open and she was moaning well after I had disengaged. I popped them puppies’ right out my mouth. I could make her cum like this. I had done it before.

I reached down with my free hand and pulled her sweats and panties down just enough for me to push my hand in between her thighs. I opened her pussy lips and pushed two fingers inside her.

“RJ, I’m not ready.”

“I love you. You’re ready.”

“I--”

I fell down on her lips with my lips. I kissed her deeply and she moaned into my mouth as I pushed my fingers in and out her wet hole. There’s no way she can be this wet and not be ready.

I pulled back from the kiss and removed my fingers from her pussy. I let her wrist go also. I got off the bed and started removing all my clothing.

Deja sat up and started to pull her sweats up. As soon as she pulled her sweats up I pulled them down, all the way down and all the way off. I took her panties with them. I dove down on the bed as she tried to scoot away from me.

“RJ, RJ, I’m not ready.”

“Shhhhhh.” I had my body pressing into hers. My cock was hard. I was Army strong. I am so tired of these kids games. I used my knee to lift one of her legs and she started shaking. I chuckled out loud.

“I can’t stop shaking! I’m scared.”

I ran my fingers through her hair and buried them in her scalp. I held her face in my hands. I looked her right in her eyes. She was tearing up. “I’m going to make love to you. So you need to accept it. It’s going to happen, deal with it.” Her body shook real hard as my words seeped into her consciousness. Her beautiful chocolate breasts were heaving up and down. She was really afraid. I used my other knee to spread her other leg open and out. Her entire body shook again. She was having a full blown seizure underneath me. I started grinding my pelvis against her opening. I needed to loosen her up, calm her down, wet her up; get her ready for my full frontal assault.

“RJ, I’m scared.”

“Deja, I love you.”

“I, I love, love you.” My hip movements were fucking up her concentration. 

After all the fucked up things she said and how she made me wait this long when she knew she loved me back, I was pissed. So I wasn’t going to let her think this was some romantic movie. “Deja, babe, you should be scared. I’m going to hurt you.” I held back my smirk.

“RJ.”

I pressed my lips into hers and plunged my tongue down her throat. I was kissing her into submission and she responded just how I knew she would. She placed both her hand
s on my back. She was pulling me in and gripping the muscles of my back. She was trying to breathe through her nose because I refused to let go of her minty flavored mouth. I removed one hand from her face. My cock was pointed in the right direction but I had to place him precisely in the right place. I didn’t want my cock breaking down the door. My cock had to twist the doorknob and open the door slowly.

I’m horny, let’s do this. I led my free hand to my cock and I rubbed the head of my cock on her pussy lips. I rubbed my cock on her clit, back and forth and back and forth. Deja sighed inside my mouth. I spread her pussy lips with my dickhead. It’s wet, it’s ready. I was going to poke my way inside. Deja was open for me. She was pushing her pussy up and out. She wanted me to invade her. She was yearning for me. She was being bold because she just didn’t know how big I swell when I’m inside those wet walls. She didn’t know how bad it’s going to hurt. She’s never had my Italian sausage.