Fraying at the Edge (25 page)

A
riana pulled up to the curb, looking at numerous unfinished homes. This section had dirt for yards, and the houses had no windows or doors. But the roofs, sheathing, and subflooring were in place. What little she knew about home construction she'd recently learned from Quill as they prepared for today.

“Are we there yet?” Cameron asked for the umpteenth time, teasing.

This spot fit the directions Quill had texted to her. The GPS got them to the subdivision, but these homes didn't have addresses, so the GPS was no help. She hoped she'd followed the directions correctly.

“Close enough. Come on.” She got out of her car and dialed Quill's cell. She immediately heard a phone ring. “This way.” She motioned for Cameron, and they headed for a doorless, windowless home.

When they were halfway up the sidewalk, Quill came out the front door. “You're early.”

“That's because she has a lead foot, driving like a bat out of—”

“Cameron…” Ariana pointed at her.

Cameron waggled her eyebrows, smiling.

“Quill, this is my sister, Cameron.”

He reached out his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Same here, and I was totally kidding about her driving fast.”

Ariana heard chatter coming from the house. “Is your family here?”

“Yeah.”

Without waiting for an invitation, she headed toward the house, drawn to the little ones inside like a Mamm to her cooing infant. The sight of them reminded her of how much she missed her nieces and nephews back home.

Cameron stayed beside her, and she leaned in toward Ariana. “I never say this about someone as old as he is, but wow,” she whispered. “He's like handsome times a hundred. Just wow.”

Ariana glanced behind her to see Quill, but she wasn't sure why. Was it to confirm what Cameron had said or to see if he'd overhead her? “What difference does it make how he looks?”

“Oh, it matters. You know it does.” Cameron grabbed her arm and whispered, “He's definitely in there with the best-looking
GQ
men, right?”

Ariana stopped just outside the doorway. “Children are, by far, more adorable than any adult.” She watched a little boy on the floor as he devoured a plate of fruit. She allowed the boy's preciousness to wash over her. Two girls were holding hands, dancing round and round as they sang. She and Susie used to do that for what seemed like hours.

She turned her head, speaking to Quill, who was right behind them. “I miss the little ones so painfully much. Katie Ann won't even remember me, but time will heal that…if Salome doesn't leave.”

Quill simply nodded. She'd wanted him to assure her that Salome would stay. But he couldn't. No one could.

She turned back and spotted the toddler again. She looked up and singled out Regina. “Is he yours?” It was a reasonable question since the little boy had been on Regina's hip when Ariana first saw her a week ago.

Regina nodded and came toward her. “Our youngest, Gavin.”

Ariana moved into the room and crouched, careful not to get too close and scare him. “He's entirely too cute.”

Gavin grabbed a piece of strawberry out of his mouth and offered it to her. Ariana was tempted to laugh, but she kept herself in check so she didn't startle him. “Is that for me?” She held out her hand.

Gavin gave it to her.

“Thank you.”

Gavin pushed his hand toward her again, palm up, wanting it back.

Ariana chuckled. She'd figured he would want it back, and she gave it to him. “I'm guessing you're somewhere between fifteen and eighteen months old.”

“Fifteen. He and Quill share a birthday.”

Ariana's heart felt lighter than it had since leaving Summer Grove. “So you were born on your uncle's twenty-fourth birthday. Fun stuff.” She rose. “He is so cute, Regina.”

Regina smiled broadly, looking as if she was just shy of grabbing Ariana around the neck and hugging her.

Ariana motioned to Cameron. “This is my sister, Cameron.”

The adults spoke and nodded, as did Cameron.

“Come.” Regina put her arm around Ariana's shoulders. “Let me introduce you to everyone.”

All the children except Gavin circled in closer to Regina, wanting to be introduced. Regina appeared to begin with the youngest and worked her way to the eldest. Ariana thought of something fun to say to each one, and the children responded well. She glanced at Quill, and he seemed to be enjoying this as much as she was.

“This”—Regina put her hands on a boy's shoulders—“is Logan. He's nine and the oldest of Berta's grandchildren.”

Logan glanced from Ariana to Quill. “I never knew Uncle Quill could string that many words together until I saw him talking to you.”

“Really?” Ariana raised a brow at Quill. “I knew that about him since I was your age. See, the trick is getting him started, which is easy if you make him angry.”

Quill rolled his eyes, but he was amused. She could see it in his eyes. It felt good to be doing well enough that she could interact in this way.

“You're an adult, Ari,” Quill said, “and there's a roomful of children. Try to be a good influence.”

“He's right.” She nodded. “It would be completely wrong to try to anger your uncle, mostly because who wants to hear him when he's angry?”

Logan laughed. “You should keep this one, Uncle Quill.”

“Life advice from a nine-year-old,” Regina said. “Ariana, this is Piper…”

Quill's brothers and sisters-in-law began stepping forward, and Ariana met each one. She greeted Dan even warmer than the others, hoping to convey that the baggage between them had been hauled off.

The children started to play games as Ariana continued to meet the adults.

Finally the last brother stepped forward. “Elam.”

She shook his hand.

“So how are you adjusting?” Elam asked.

“To the news of being Englisch and my new temporary life?” Ariana asked. “Similar to a toddler during a transition—lots of tantrums and tears.” She smiled at Cameron. “But it has some unexpected perks.” She turned to watch the children play. Would life ever have that kind of joy again?

Piper poured water from a plastic jug into a cup. “You're in a room of people who, in one way or another, had a high-magnitude earthquake hit their lives, Ariana.” Piper gave the cup to her. “Quill had it the worst, but none of us did well at the start. Quill has said precious little about you, but from what I can see, I think you're doing great.”

“That's nice of you.” Ariana's eyes searched his, wanting to know.
The worst? Why the worst?

Regina offered Ariana and Cameron a sandwich, and they each took one. The brothers asked general questions about her car and driving and what grade Cameron was in. It seemed they wanted to keep the conversation light.

While Piper asked Cameron about her tennis shoes, Ariana overheard Dan talking to Quill. Dan said that Quill's sisters-in-law had turned his room in the trailer upside down and that Frieda had searched his home. Apparently a set of plans was missing, causing trouble on the job. Dan seemed to be assuring Quill it was okay that he hadn't been able to fix the issue.

Quill nodded and shrugged as if it wasn't important, but Ariana felt sure it was. She was bad at reading herself, so was she reading him right? She doubted it. If she didn't know herself, how could she know him?

When Quill finished talking to Dan, he made his way toward her. “You about ready to start work?”

She could be, but first she wanted to talk more about that night at the bar. If she thought it would do any good, she would ask about the missing plans. But his response would most likely be a polite refusal to answer. Still, it was possible the topic would come up as they worked and he'd open up a bit. That was about the most she could hope for.

She put her unfinished sandwich back on the paper plate and carried it to an opening where a window would be installed. Quill followed her.

Cameron remained near the table, talking with Quill's family. She seemed to be enjoying herself as she animatedly talked while others laughed and injected a few words here and there. Ariana hoped she wasn't regaling them with events of her life from the last two weeks.

Ariana fidgeted with the edge of the plate. “That night at the bar, what made you suspect my drink had alcohol? I was the one consuming it, and I didn't know.”

“That's out of the blue.”

“Was I slurring my words without realizing it?”

“No.” He propped his palm on a stud. “My gut said something was off.”

“It bothers me that I don't know myself better. I should've realized what was happening before you did. I want to change that, to know myself better, but I have no idea how.”

“When was the first time you thought something was amiss with Frieda and me?”

“I didn't.”

“You did. You had to. There had to be a moment, however quick, of thinking something was a little off.”

“I trusted you and her. I never—”

“And Brice wanted you to give him the benefit of the doubt, and you gave it to him. Nicholas wanted you to accept that he has full parental rights over you, and you gave that to him. I wanted you to stay oblivious to what I was planning with Frieda, and you gave that to me. If you're going to know and trust yourself, you can't willingly accept what's being fed to you. Don't lose yourself under the mounds of what others want of you.”

“So in your eyes I'm wrong all the time.”

“Not even close to true. You have the best heart of anyone I know. You're smart and kind and disciplined in your responses to others and in your efforts to obey and honor God. Few come close to those attributes, especially not me. But you're too giving when it comes to what others want of you, and because of that, you give up the ability to truly know yourself because you're so determined to make others happy. How can you do what's best for you when you're running in circles for others?”

“What about submission to authority, obedience to parents, sacrificing for others, and dying to self?”

“All good things in their place, but you need to decide what that place is. What about when Jesus and His disciples didn't submit to authority? What about when Jesus said, ‘Let the dead bury their dead,' talking about a man's father? What about living unto God and making sure what you're dying to is what God wants, not man?”

“You know that's not what we've been taught.”

“But it's not opposed to it. It's simply a wider, more encompassing view of God and the Word. Now think. When was the first time you knew something was going on with Frieda and me?”

She wrestled with the offense pumping through her. No one prodded her or got under her skin like Quill. Memories of him freeing a caged bobcat that had been illegally captured came to mind. He had been fearless in finding a way to rescue it and return it to the wild. Quill seemed to see her in a similar way, as being held captive in this area of her life, and he couldn't help but say what needed to be said to free her.

She studied the patch of woods outside the window, and after replaying dozens of memories of him and Frieda, one surfaced. “You and she were in the old shed when I came to your home one day and, by accident, realized where you were. I decided to sneak up on you and jump out, but when I did, you both seemed really worried about something.”

“Bingo. We tried to act as if our shock and fear were from you startling us, but we were trying to have a private conversation about leaving the Amish without Mamm or you overhearing us.”

Other memories started coming to her. “There were a few times that felt weird and off.”

“There were.”

“I just assumed I was reading things wrong.”

“Never discount anything your senses are telling you, not at first. Let the information sink in, and trust your ability to reason out the truth. If you're wrong, that will become evident soon enough. Usually when one part of us is telling another part of us what's going on, it's a gift from God. Use it.”