Frankenstein's Bride (35 page)

“‘I am about to undertake that task; and it is on that account that I feel so many overwhelming terrors. I tenderly love these
friends; I have, unknown to them, been for many months in the habits of daily kindness towards them; but they believe that
I wish to injure them, and it is that prejudice which I wish to overcome.'

“‘Where do these friends reside?'

“‘Near this spot.'

“The old man paused and then continued, ‘If you will unreservedly confide to me the particulars of your tale, I perhaps may
be of use in undeceiving them. I am blind and cannot judge of your countenance, but there is something in your words which
persuades me that you are sincere. I am poor and an exile, but it will afford me true pleasure to be in any way serviceable
to a human creature.'

“‘Excellent man! I thank you and accept your generous offer. You raise me from the dust by this kindness; and I trust that,
by your aid, I shall not be driven from the society and sympathy of your fellow creatures.'

“‘Heaven forbid! Even if you were really criminal, for that can only drive you to desperation, and not instigate you to virtue.
I also am unfortunate; I and my family have been condemned, although innocent; judge, therefore, if I do not feel for your
misfortunes.'

“‘How can I thank you, my best and only benefactor? From your lips first have I heard the voice of kindness directed towards
me; I shall be forever grateful; and your present humanity assures me of success with those friends whom I am on the point
of meeting.'

“‘May I know the names and residence of those friends?'

“I paused. This, I thought, was the moment of decision, which was to rob me of or bestow happiness on me forever. I struggled
vainly for firmness sufficient to answer him, but the effort destroyed all my remaining strength; I sank on the chair and
sobbed aloud. At that moment I heard the steps of my younger protectors. I had not a moment to lose, but seizing the hand
of the old man, I cried, ‘Now is the time! Save and protect me! You and your family are the friends whom I seek. Do not you
desert me in the hour of trial!'

“‘Great God!' exclaimed the old man. ‘Who are you?'

“At that instant the cottage door was opened, and Felix, Safie, and Agatha entered. Who can describe their horror and consternation
on beholding me? Agatha fainted, and Safie, unable to attend to her friend, rushed out of the cottage. Felix darted forward,
and with supernatural force tore me from his father, to whose knees I clung, in a transport of fury, he dashed me to the ground
and struck me violently with a stick. I could have torn him limb from limb, as the lion rends the antelope. But my heart sank
within me as with bitter sickness, and I refrained. I saw him on the point of repeating his blow, when, overcome by pain and
anguish, I quitted the cottage, and in the general tumult escaped unperceived to my hovel.”

C H A PT E R 1 6

CURSED, CURSED CREATOR! Why did I live? Why, in that instant, did I not extinguish the spark of existence which you had so
wantonly bestowed? I know not; despair had not yet taken possession of me; my feelings were those of rage and revenge. I could
with pleasure have destroyed the cottage and its inhabitants and have glutted myself with their shrieks and misery.

“When night came I quitted my retreat and wandered in the wood; and now, no longer restrained by the fear of discovery, I
gave vent to my anguish in fearful howlings. I was like a wild beast that had broken the toils, destroying the objects that
obstructed me and ranging through the wood with a stag-like swiftness. Oh! What a miserable night I passed! The cold stars
shone in mockery, and the bare trees waved their branches above me; now and then the sweet voice of a bird burst forth amidst
the universal stillness. All, save I, were at rest or in enjoyment; I, like the arch-fiend, bore a hell within me, and finding
myself unsympathized with, wished to tear up the trees, spread havoc and destruction around me, and then to have sat down
and enjoyed the ruin.

“But this was a luxury of sensation that could not endure; I became fatigued with excess of bodily exertion and sank on the
damp grass in the sick impotence of despair. There was none among the myriads of men that existed who would pity or assist
me; and should I feel kindness towards my enemies? No; from that moment I declared everlasting war against the species, and
more than all, against him who had formed me and sent me forth to this insupportable misery.

“The sun rose; I heard the voices of men and knew that it was impossible to return to my retreat during that day. Accordingly
I hid myself in some thick underwood, determining to devote the ensuing hours to reflection on my situation.

“The pleasant sunshine and the pure air of day restored me to some degree of tranquility; and when I considered what had passed
at the cottage, I could not help believing that I had been too hasty in my conclusions. I had certainly acted imprudently.
It was apparent that my conversation had interested the father in my behalf, and I was a fool in having exposed my person
to the horror of his children. I ought to have familiarized the old De Lacey to me, and by degrees to have discovered myself
to the rest of his family, when they should have been prepared for my approach. But I did not believe my errors to be irretrievable,
and after much consideration I resolved to return to the cottage, seek the old man, and by my representations win him to my
party.

“These thoughts calmed me, and in the afternoon I sank into a profound sleep; but the fever of my blood did not allow me to
be visited by peaceful dreams. The horrible scene of the preceding day was forever acting before my eyes; the females were
flying and the enraged Felix tearing me from his father's feet. I awoke exhausted, and finding that it was already night,
I crept forth from my hiding-place, and went in search of food.

“When my hunger was appeased, I directed my steps towards the well-known path that conducted to the cottage. All there was
at peace. I crept into my hovel and remained in silent expectation of the accustomed hour when the family arose. That hour
passed, the sun mounted high in the heavens, but the cottagers did not appear. I trembled violently, apprehending some dreadful
misfortune. The inside of the cottage was dark, and I heard no motion; I cannot describe the agony of this suspense.

“Presently two countrymen passed by, but pausing near the cottage, they entered into conversation, using violent gesticulations;
but I did not understand what they said, as they spoke the language of the country, which differed from that of my protectors.
Soon after, however, Felix approached with another man; I was surprised, as I knew that he had not quitted the cottage that
morning, and waited anxiously to discover from his discourse the meaning of these unusual appearances.

“‘Do you consider,' said his companion to him, ‘that you will be obliged to pay three months' rent and to lose the produce
of your garden? I do not wish to take any unfair advantage, and I beg therefore that you will take some days to consider of
your determination.'

“‘It is utterly useless,' replied Felix; ‘we can never again inhabit your cottage. The life of my father is in the greatest
danger, owing to the dreadful circumstance that I have related. My wife and my sister will never recover from their horror.
I entreat you not to reason with me any more. Take possession of your tenement and let me fly from this place.'

“Felix trembled violently as he said this. He and his companion entered the cottage, in which they remained for a few minutes,
and then departed. I never saw any of the family of De Lacey more.

“I continued for the remainder of the day in my hovel in a state of utter and stupid despair. My protectors had departed and
had broken the only link that held me to the world. For the first time the feelings of revenge and hatred filled my bosom,
and I did not strive to control them, but allowing myself to be borne away by the stream, I bent my mind towards injury and
death. When I thought of my friends, of the mild voice of De Lacey, the gentle eyes of Agatha, and the exquisite beauty of
the Arabian, these thoughts vanished and a gush of tears somewhat soothed me. But again when I reflected that they had spurned
and deserted me, anger returned, a rage of anger, and unable to injure anything human, I turned my fury towards inanimate
objects. As night advanced I placed a variety of combustibles around the cottage, and after having destroyed every vestige
of cultivation in the garden, I waited with forced impatience until the moon had sunk to commence my operations.

“As the night advanced, a fierce wind arose from the woods and quickly dispersed the clouds that had loitered in the heavens;
the blast tore along like a mighty avalanche and produced a kind of insanity in my spirits that burst all bounds of reason
and reflection. I lighted the dry branch of a tree and danced with fury around the devoted cottage, my eyes still fixed on
the western horizon, the edge of which the moon nearly touched. A part of its orb was at length hid, and I waved my brand;
it sank, and with a loud scream I fired the straw, and heath, and bushes, which I had collected. The wind fanned the fire,
and the cottage was quickly enveloped by the flames, which clung to it and licked it with their forked and destroying tongues.

“As soon as I was convinced that no assistance could save any part of the habitation, I quitted the scene and sought for refuge
in the woods.

“And now, with the world before me, whither should I bend my steps? I resolved to fly far from the scene of my misfortunes;
but to me, hated and despised, every country must be equally horrible. At length the thought of you crossed my mind. I learned
from your papers that you were my father, my creator; and to whom could I apply with more fitness than to him who had given
me life? Among the lessons that Felix had bestowed upon Safie, geography had not been omitted; I had learned from these the
relative situations of the different countries of the earth. You had mentioned Geneva as the name of your native town, and
towards this place I resolved to proceed.

“But how was I to direct myself? I knew that I must travel in a southwesterly direction to reach my destination, but the sun
was my only guide. I did not know the names of the towns that I was to pass through, nor could I ask information from a single
human being; but I did not despair. From you only could I hope for succor, although towards you I felt no sentiment but that
of hatred. Unfeeling, heartless creator! You had endowed me with perceptions and passions and then cast me abroad an object
for the scorn and horror of mankind. But on you only had I any claim for pity and redress, and from you I determined to seek
that justice which I vainly attempted to gain from any other being that wore the human form.

“My travels were long and the sufferings I endured intense. It was late in autumn when I quitted the district where I had
so long resided. I traveled only at night, fearful of encountering the visage of a human being. Nature decayed around me,
and the sun became heatless; rain and snow poured around me; mighty rivers were frozen; the surface of the earth was hard
and chill, and bare, and I found no shelter. Oh, earth! How often did I imprecate curses on the cause of my being! The mildness
of my nature had fled, and all within me was turned to gall and bitterness. The nearer I approached to your habitation, the
more deeply did I feel the spirit of revenge enkindled in my heart. Snow fell, and the waters were hardened, but I rested
not. A few incidents now and then directed me, and I possessed a map of the country; but I often wandered wide from my path.
The agony of my feelings allowed me no respite; no incident occurred from which my rage and misery could not extract its food;
but a circumstance that happened when I arrived on the confines of Switzerland, when the sun had recovered its warmth and
the earth again began to look green, confirmed in an especial manner the bitterness and horror of my feelings.

“I generally rested during the day and traveled only when I was secured by night from the view of man. One morning, however,
finding that my path lay through a deep wood, I ventured to continue my journey after the sun had risen; the day, which was
one of the first of spring, cheered even me by the loveliness of its sunshine and the balminess of the air. I felt emotions
of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, revive within me. Half surprised by the novelty of these sensations,
I allowed myself to be borne away by them, and forgetting my solitude and deformity, dared to be happy. Soft tears again bedewed
my cheeks, and I even raised my humid eyes with thankfulness towards the blessed sun, which bestowed such joy upon me.

“I continued to wind among the paths of the wood, until I came to its boundary, which was skirted by a deep and rapid river,
into which many of the trees bent their branches, now budding with the fresh spring. Here I paused, not exactly knowing what
path to pursue, when I heard the sound of voices, that induced me to conceal myself under the shade of a cypress. I was scarcely
hid when a young girl came running towards the spot where I was concealed, laughing, as if she ran from someone in sport.
She continued her course along the precipitous sides of the river, when suddenly her foot slipped, and she fell into the rapid
stream. I rushed from my hiding-place and with extreme labor, from the force of the current, saved her and dragged her to
shore. She was senseless, and I endeavored by every means in my power to restore animation, when I was suddenly interrupted
by the approach of a rustic, who was probably the person from whom she had playfully fled. On seeing me, he darted towards
me, and tearing the girl from my arms, hastened towards the deeper parts of the wood. I followed speedily, I hardly knew why;
but when the man saw me draw near, he aimed a gun, which he carried, at my body and fired. I sank to the ground, and my injurer,
with increased swiftness, escaped into the wood.

“This was then the reward of my benevolence! I had saved a human being from destruction, and as a recompense I now writhed
under the miserable pain of a wound which shattered the flesh and bone. The feelings of kindness and gentleness which I had
entertained but a few moments before gave place to hellish rage and gnashing of teeth. Inflamed by pain, I vowed eternal hatred
and vengeance to all mankind. But the agony of my wound overcame me; my pulses paused, and I fainted.

“For some weeks I led a miserable life in the woods, endeavoring to cure the wound which I had received. The ball had entered
my shoulder, and I knew not whether it had remained there or passed through; at any rate I had no means of extracting it.
My sufferings were augmented also by the oppressive sense of the injustice and ingratitude of their infliction. My daily vows
rose for revenge—a deep and deadly revenge, such as would alone compensate for the outrages and anguish I had endured.

“After some weeks my wound healed, and I continued my journey. The labors I endured were no longer to be alleviated by the
bright sun or gentle breezes of spring; all joy was but a mockery which insulted my desolate state and made me feel more painfully
that I was not made for the enjoyment of pleasure.

“But my toils now drew near a close, and in two months from this time I reached the environs of Geneva.

“It was evening when I arrived, and I retired to a hiding-place among the fields that surround it to meditate in what manner
I should apply to you. I was oppressed by fatigue and hunger and far too unhappy to enjoy the gentle breezes of evening or
the prospect of the sun setting behind the stupendous mountains of Jura.

“At this time a slight sleep relieved me from the pain of reflection, which was disturbed by the approach of a beautiful child,
who came running into the recess I had chosen, with all the sportiveness of infancy. Suddenly, as I gazed on him, an idea
seized me that this little creature was unprejudiced and had lived too short a time to have imbibed a horror of deformity.
If, therefore, I could seize him and educate him as my companion and friend, I should not be so desolate in this peopled earth.

“Urged by this impulse, I seized on the boy as he passed and drew him towards me. As soon as he beheld my form, he placed
his hands before his eyes and uttered a shrill scream; I drew his hand forcibly from his face and said, ‘Child, what is the
meaning of this? I do not intend to hurt you; listen to me.'

“He struggled violently. ‘Let me go,' he cried; ‘monster! Ugly wretch! You wish to eat me and tear me to pieces. You are an
ogre. Let me go, or I will tell my papa.'

“‘Boy, you will never see your father again; you must come with me.'

“‘Hideous monster! Let me go. My papa is a syndic—he is M. Frankenstein—he will punish you. You dare not keep me.'

“‘Frankenstein! you belong then to my enemy—to him towards whom I have sworn eternal revenge; you shall be my first victim.'