Fragments of your Soul (The Mirror Worlds Book 1) (52 page)

For a brief moment Loke looked puzzled, then he pulled her into his arms and kissed her tenderly. With a comforting tingling in her belly Arvid snuggled against him and held him firmly.

“In how many places have there been breakthroughs?” Arvid heard Hel ask in the background.

“Only in two,” Byleist answered. “But it will take almost two days to seal the one above the fields. Four runemasters are working on it and I have posted forty soldiers to protect them. I can only hope that it’s enough.”

Loke gently let go of Arvid and rose. “It’s enough,” he said quietly. “You worry too much, Byleist.”

“It’s my job to worry,” replied Byleist tensely. “I can’t just leave the safety of my people to chance or hope for the best.”

“They’re also my people,” Loke said.

“But I’m in charge!” Byleist replied excitedly.

Suddenly a murmur went through the crowd of soldiers again. When they turned around, they saw a brown-clad figure who approached in a run. It was Hemett. He was completely out of breath and his graying hair stuck to his sweaty forehead.

He bowed deeply, caught his breath for a moment, then held up an envelope before Loke. “A messenger just arrived… with this letter,” he blurted out. “It is very important, Your Highness.”

“Save that damn ‘Highness’, Hemett,” growled Loke, as he took the letter and broke the red seal without even looking at it.

“I beg your pardon,” said Hemett, head bowed.

Loke stared at the paper in his hands. Then he raised his head and turned his gaze into the empty air, seemingly lost in thought. His face showed not the slightest emotion; nevertheless, Arvid felt that something was wrong.

“What is it about?” asked Byleist.

“Only of importance to me,” Loke muttered absently, then he folded the sheet again, put it in the envelope and held it out for Hemett. “Burn this letter,” he said. “Tell the messenger that no response will follow.“

“Very well,“ replied Hemett but looked clearly confused.

Arvid saw how Byleist and Hel exchanged glances. Loke’s reaction seemed strange to her, too, and an uneasy feeling crept over her.

”The letter was from Asgard, wasn’t it?“ she asked. Envelope and seal both looked exactly like the letters which she had received from there back then. “Can this really be that unimportant?“

”It wasn’t,“ Loke said. His voice suddenly sounded hard and dismissive. The gentle warmth which had been in his eyes a moment ago was gone. In its place Arvid saw something she couldn’t quite place, but it filled her with a creeping, strange kind of fear. In an instant Loke had completely changed and was emanating an icy cold. “But like I said, the message is only of importance to me alone. Something has happened. Maybe I’ll have to leave today.“

”What?“ Byleist exclaimed in disbelief. “You can’t just disappear now! The city is unprotected, and father could arrive any day.”

Even Arvid stared at Loke, shocked. She had clung to the meager consolation to at least be able to spend a few days with him before he left for Asgard, and now he wanted to leave all of a sudden? What could be so important that it couldn’t wait a day or two?

“The recent events in Asgard are more important,” Loke said.

“What can be more important than the safety of your own people and your family?” Byleist cried angrily. Arvid had never seen him so upset.

“Otherwise you do just fine without me, don’t you?” Loke said in an icy voice. “You need no god to take care of you, especially since I continually deny my true nature anyway. What am I, Byleist? Nothing but a murderer, whose power comes in handy now that he’s here. What does it matter whether I go or stay? I’m not a true giant, as Mother put it so beautifully, only a disappointment and a problem, which has to be taken care of.”

“You’re out of your mind!” shouted Byleist aghast. “Have we ever given you reason to believe that?”

He and Loke continued to argue vociferously. Although Arvid wanted to follow the exchange of words, a movement beside her suddenly caught her attention. It was Hemett, who looked extremely worried and had turned to leave.

In an instinctive movement Arvid reached out and grabbed his arm. The servant stopped. He seemed scared. Arvid gazed at the letter in his hands, then she firmly looked at him and almost imperceptibly shook her head. Arvid could see Hemett swallow and clutch the letter even tighter. When she finally let go of his arm again, he stormed off, almost as if in panic. For a moment Arvid looked after him, then turned back to the giants, her heart beating wildly.

Hel had interfered in the dispute between Byleist and Loke now.

“Why can’t you just tell us what happened?” she asked. “Then we could at least understand it.”

“Oh, put that right out of your mind!” hissed Byleist. “You know full well Loke never reveals a single word of his cursed plans. One day he’ll lure all of us to destruction with it!”

“I’m not one of your followers!” bellowed Loke. “I’ll do whatever I want and what I think is right! This isn’t your affair; it only concerns me and me alone!“

“But what you think is the right thing is not always right!“ shouted Byleist. “No—in fact, it is usually wrong! Can’t you see that your people need you and that your family only wants the best for you?“

Arvid stared at the two giants and felt stiff and numb with confusion and pain. Why did Loke do that? What had happened in Asgard? And why couldn’t Byleist see that he only made everything worse with his attacks? The brief illusion of happiness Arvid had been cherishing was falling to ashes right before her eyes. She didn’t know how she could live with the prospect of losing Loke again.

“I have no time for this nonsense!” Loke finally said coldly. In his eyes was such a dark, seething rage that he hardly resembled the creature Arvid had believed she knew.

“And what are you going to do now?” cried Byleist. “Just go and let down all those that care about you? Just leave them to their uncertainty and worry until you maybe someday show up again, out of the blue?”

“All those that care about me?” Loke sneered and let out a bitter laugh. “I don’t need such hypocritical feelings.”

“Just because you can’t understand what family and love mean, you trample on anyone who wants to be a part of your life!” thundered Byleist. “When will you finally look back at your life and see what a pile of shards you’re leaving everywhere?”

“I
am
a pile of shards!” Loke now shouted so loudly that all the soldiers around them winced in shock. For a moment he stared at Byleist with such burning wrath that Arvid could feel the crackling force of darkness around him almost physically. Then he suddenly jerked around and turned into to a huge, dark gray wolf, even bigger than some of the giants around him. The soldiers jumped aside in terror and slowly moved farther back, as it let out a deep, menacing growl, and then ran off.

Not only the soldiers, but also Hel and Byleist stared after him, but Arvid finally awoke from her stupor. She ran after Loke as fast as her legs could carry her, but knew at once that she had no chance of catching up to him.

“Loke!” she called out desperately. She stumbled and fell hard on her knees, but the pain in her heart was a thousand times worse. She pushed herself back up and saw through a blurred curtain of tears that the gray wolf had actually stopped.

“Where are you going?” she cried, sobbing. “You can’t leave me again! You have not even said goodbye.”

Loke turned his head and looked at her. His eyes were filled with infinite sadness. At the same time Arvid also saw a seething darkness, burning hatred and a determination no force on earth could stand up to. She couldn’t change his mind; she realized that even before Loke definitively turned around and ran away.

Arvid sat on the ground sobbing and shaken by crying fits, until Byleist finally lifted her up and carried her back into the fortress.

Helblindi cleaned her sore knees and spoke soothingly to her, but Arvid didn’t get a single one of his words. Even when her tears had dried and there was nothing but a dull, throbbing pain left in her head, she remained sitting in the chair in the hall of her quarters, staring blankly into the air in front of her.

It wasn’t just the fact that Loke had left so suddenly and far too early. What really hurt was the realization that he apparently still didn’t understand what he meant to her, that he still didn’t trust her and that he had left her behind without a single word of farewell. What could be so important that he just disappeared shortly before the return of his father? When would he come back? Would he come back at all? The thought of maybe never seeing him again, drove her to despair.

Eventually Hel brought her something to eat. She had stayed with her at first, but then left her alone at Arvid’s own request. Now, however, it was already evening, and Arvid had not even once left her place on the hard chair.

“I knew that he would hurt me again,” Arvid said softly, staring at the untouched bowl of grain soup Hel had brought her. These were the first words she spoke since she had come back to the fortress. “But I thought… not so soon.” Arvid swallowed. “We had one night… one wonderful night. Just one.”

“What are you going to do now?” asked Hel.

“Nothing,” whispered Arvid. “Absolutely nothing, Hel. There is nothing I can do. Just wait, hope… until… until…” she broke off and sobbed.

“It makes me sad,” Hel said flatly. “I was glad you still wanted to give my father another chance in spite of all the pain he had caused you. He has squandered it.”

For a long time they sat in silence. After a while Arvid halfheartedly took a few spoonfuls of her now-cold soup. After she had asked herself the same probing questions over and over again for hours, her head was now completely empty. Her insides felt like nothing but a large, hollow hole. The only thing left was the bottomless darkness that rested inside her like a pristine lake, smooth and quiet. She couldn’t feel anger. She felt like she was wrapped in a soft, thick layer of sadness that smothered every other feeling.

Suddenly there was a hesitant knock on the door. Shortly after it was opened, and Hemett entered. He was visibly startled when he saw Hel. At a stroke, Arvid remembered the letter.

“Hemett, did you destroy the letter?” she asked and jumped up from her chair, then she was overcome by a sudden dizziness. With a soft moan she sat down again. Hemett remained rigid and looked back and forth between them.

“You have nothing to fear,” promised Hel.

“I… I didn’t know… what I should do,” stammered Hemett. Sweat stood on his forehead. “I couldn’t… disregard Loke’s direct command.”

“So you’ve burned it,” muttered Arvid.

“No, I… I decided to obey you, Your Highness. Especially since… well, see for yourself.” He reached under his coat and pulled out the envelope with the broken seal.

Arvid almost tore it out of his hands. Suddenly the numbing layer of grief fell off her and made room for a tingling excitement. This letter contained the solution. Whatever it said, it was the reason why Loke seemed to have turned into an entirely different person from one moment to the next. With unsteady movements Arvid pulled the folded paper out of the envelope and opened it. She was not even surprised to see a completely blank sheet.

She paused and looked at Hemett. “I owe you my deepest thanks, Hemett,” she said. “Please let us alone now and… you have nothing to fear. No one will ever know what you’ve done. You have my word.”

Hemett looked relieved. “Thank you, Your Highness,” he said, then turned around and disappeared hastily back through the door.

“The humans of Sölunnir are loyal to you,” determined Hel. “You better keep your word.”

“I will,” Arvid said. “I always keep my word.”

“What about the loyalty you’ve sworn to my father?”

“He still has it,” Arvid said firmly. “I stand by him no matter what he has done.”

Hel silently watched as Arvid picked up the empty sheet of paper again. She was very tense as she broke away from the flow of time and stared at the runes that flashed on the paper in front of her. This time she couldn’t destroy the illusion, because no one else was allowed to learn about this message. Every time the runes became visible, she read on a little further.

Loke,

Odin is still deeply concerned. He seems confused and unsettled. You asked me to report to you promptly, if he were to make a new consultation of the oracle. This has just happened, despite the protest of the Council. The timing is bad. Odin won’t be present at the feast of the union, which will cause uncertainty among the people and bring forth rumors.

Frigg, Ull and myself will be the only ones staying in the halls of Valas, apart from a dozen mercenaries who shall stand guard in Odin’s chambers. It was hard to persuade Odin to accept this at all. He feels safe in the heart of Asgard and the latest happenings and prophecies give him no rest. He hungers for answers. His concern makes him blind.

Today is the twenty-first day of the Month of Copiousness. When this message reaches you, Odin will already have begun his journey to the oracle.

Good Luck,

Vidar

As Arvid returned to the normal flow of time, she felt exhausted and dizzy. What she had just read awakened an inkling in her. The twenty-first day of the Month of Copiousness—it must not be forgotten. She took a deep breath, then she focused on the letter in front of her and let it go up in flames.

Hel hastily moved away from her, while tongues of fire devoured the paper and left nothing but a few black remnants behind. Arvid wondered frantically what she should do now.

“Who was the letter from?” asked Hel.

“From Vidar,” Arvid said. “I’ve never heard this name before.”

“He’s Odin’s son,” Hel said. “He lives in Asgard, but his mother was a giantess from Isvirndjellen. He is neither man nor giant.”

Arvid looked at her, dumbfounded. “I know him,” she whispered. “He was here in Sölunnir, along with Forseti and a goddess. He looked like a giant, but was shorter and wore neither hair nor clothing like a giant.”

“Maybe it was him. Half giants are very rare. What did he have to tell Loke?”

Arvid hesitated. “I… can’t tell you,” she said. “Forgive me, Hel. Only once Loke has entrusted something about his life to me. It was something very important, something personal. I can’t betray his trust.” She took a deep breath. “What I can tell you, however, is that Loke is about to do something stupid.”

“I understand. How bad is it?”

“Fatal. If I’m right, then… the exact consequences are uncertain. With any luck, it will only be a war, but… maybe his actions will wipe out thousands of lives. In worst case, it will mean that the world as we know it will no longer be.”

Hel took a sharp breath. “Then you have to stop him!” she said excitedly.

“Me?” Arvid laughed bitterly. “I don’t see how I could. Before he left, I looked in his eyes, Hel. He is blind and deaf with hatred. It is the darkness inside him that drives him and—”

Arvid faltered. Only now she understood the magnitude of what was happening here. For three centuries Loke had been waiting to take revenge on Odin, and all of a sudden this opportunity was there—because of her.

Because of her Odin was so confused that he was willing to leave his body unprotected, in order to find more answers. For three hundred years Loke’s anger had been able to grow. It was inconceivable how destructive and powerful these feelings must be by now. At this moment, all that mattered to Loke was his revenge, even if it meant his own death—and it probably would, sooner or later. Asgard’s gods wouldn’t forgive him this betrayal. If the world transitions were destroyed and Odin was dead, there was nothing left that protected Loke.

And then? What would happen to the world transitions, to this world itself? Would Arvid ever be able to return to the Light World, or would this path be closed forever? Did any of this even matter anymore?

“You have to at least try,” Hel said pleadingly. “No force we could gather could ever stand up to his power. You may be the only one that has a chance to get through to him.”