Fragile Blossoms (6 page)

The house lights were brightening. People were heading toward the bars and refreshment areas. Annoyed, Freddie shrugged. ‘Suit yourself. Coming, John?’

John Sargent hesitated as did Daniel Masson.

‘Please don’t wait for me,’ said Julia. ‘I am perfectly comfortable.’

The party hurrying away Julia turned back to the stage. Head filled with glorious sights and sounds how could she sit and chatter about nothing.

Stefan was smiling. ‘You feel it?’

‘How could I not?’

‘There are those who do not as I’m sure you’re aware.’

‘Yes but I don’t mind; the audience, the gossip and all the giddy moving to-and-fro adds to the atmosphere. I didn’t know such a world existed.’

Julia talked of her father who could read and translate Latin and Greek and converse in Italian and French, but whose world, he once said, shrank to the size of a matchbox. She described Bentham church choir and Father with one candle alight transcribing
Messiah
so the choir might be able to rehearse. ‘We weren’t terribly good but what we lacked in skill we made up for in heart.’ ‘

‘You think your father would’ve liked
Madama Butterfly
?’ said Stefan.

‘He would’ve loved it.’ Julia spoke of Evie and the difference she’d made to her life. ‘She brought me you, Stefan. You saved Matty’s life.’

He was silent.

‘I’m sorry.’ Julia was contrite. ‘All this chattering? I’m doing the very thing I didn’t want to do. I do apologise.’

‘Not at all! This evening and your delight in the music is a gift to me. Through your eyes I see again what I have lost.’

‘Lost?’

‘
Nein bitte!
’ he shook his head. ‘I’ll not dampen the day by talking sadness.’

‘Stefan, please! What is it?’

‘My beloved wife, my Karoline.’

‘Oh! When did she... what...?’

‘She is not dead!’ He held up his hand. ‘She is alive but ill and cannot appreciate music as she did. Karoline suffers a disease that strips her of all joy in life and for which there is no cure.’

‘I’m sorry, poor lady!’

‘
Ja
, poor indeed, her mind bedevilled with many anxieties.’

‘Can nothing be done? Might one visit perhaps?’

Stefan shrugged. ‘You could and who knows she might smile. She doesn’t know me. She thinks I am a doctor and begs release from this life. My only consolation is the care given at the sanatorium. The day I met your boy I had visited there. I left the bedside of one suffering child to find another.’

‘How long has she been ill? I mean, when did this start?’

‘Soon after the birth of our son.’

‘You have a son?’

Stefan shook his head. ‘He died before drawing breath.’

‘Oh!’ Julia took his hand. ‘I am so very sorry’

‘It is I who am sorry to have given you pain.’ He squeezed her hand, his fingers iron bars. ‘It is my pain to bear and not to share.’

‘I beg your pardon.’ Daniel Masson came through the curtain to the Box, saw the chairs pushed together, Julia holding Stefan’s hand and turned to go.

‘No!’ Stefan stood up. ‘Do not go,
Herr
Masson!’

‘Forgive the intrusion. I was bringing Mrs Dryden a glass of wine.’

‘Sir, your appearance is timely. I am making a burden of sorrow. It ought not to be. Give my apologies to the rest of the party. Say I am called away.’ He kissed Julia’s hand. ‘
Gute nacht, gnadige Frau
.’

‘Good night.’

Daniel Masson hung back. ‘I guess I barged in on something.’

‘Doctor Adelmann is a friend. He has been of great help to my son.’

‘Your boy is ill?’

Julia couldn’t speak of Matty, not after learning of Stefan’s life. ‘He is better now, thank you.’

‘May I sit?’ Daniel offered the glass. ‘I came to bring refreshment but also to say how unhappy I am with the way the sitting is thrust on you.’

‘Don’t be. Evelyn suffered a headache most of the day. It’s likely she forgot to tell me.’ She sipped the wine. ‘Are you in London long?’

‘When I came it was only for a month or two but an issue with property holds me. My mother likes England. She is looking to buy here.’

‘And you? Do you like England?’

‘I don’t care for your grey skies. I have a ranch in California where the sun always shines. My mother hails from Philadelphia. A Greville among the first settlers she is genetically inclined toward the British climate.’

‘Your mother returns to family roots and you to advise her in her quest.’

‘Hah!’ Eyes mocking he laughed. ‘Callie Greville Masson doesn’t take advice. She lives and breathes by her own deliberations. A creature no bigger than my thumb and yet she has more energy than the whole of the South African Company and its war-mongering shysters!’

When Julia stared he spread his hands. ‘Excuse me, I’m just back from the Transvaal and saw too much. Mrs Dryden?’ He leaned forward. ‘I must speak with you. It concerns Norfolk and where you live.’

‘The cottage? Whatever can it be?’

‘Ah there you are?’ The door to the Box opened. ‘Beautiful Julianna, bird of Paradise, you haven’t flown away yet?’ Freddie was back with the rest of the party and all private conversation ceased.

The last curtain call echoing they fought to get out. It was madness out in the square people surging up and down waiting for their carriages.

‘Bit of a scrum here, John,’ said Daniel Masson.

‘It’s always the same after a concert good manners go down the plug-hole.’

‘Freddie!’ Mr and Mrs Scholtz were first to leave. ‘We can take you and Mrs Dryden! We’ve room and it wouldn’t be out of our way.’

‘We’re fine, thanks,’ Freddie grasped Julia’s elbow. ‘We’ll take a cab.’

Having suffered his fidgets throughout the opera Julia was determined not to be alone with him. ‘I’d like to go with Mr and Mrs Scholtz.’

‘You’re with me.’ Freddie pushed toward the kerb. ‘You’re delicious candy, Ju-ju, sugar frosting outside and hot spice beneath. I must open you up.’

Seeing him bent on making some kind of display Julia held back. She’d not be alone with him. Her feelings showed. A cab drew alongside and she was lifted inside. ‘See Mrs Dryden back to the Square, will you, Paul,’ said Daniel. ‘John and I will shuffle Carrington along.’ Paul Hellue climbed in. Daniel tapped the door, the cab chugged away Freddie left arguing on the path.

From one unhappy situation to another, Julia set foot in the door and Evie came at a run. With a grasp not unlike Freddie’s, hotly proprietary, she dragged Julia into the hall. ‘How dared you to do it,’ she spat.

‘What?’

‘How dared you lure Bella to your home?’

‘The maid?’

‘Yes the maid! How dared you interfere in the running of my house?’

‘I didn’t think I interfered. I offered a place to stay, that’s all.’

‘Well you’d no right to without talking to me.’

‘You’re right. I should’ve spoken to you but things strained between us there wasn’t the opportunity. I honestly I didn’t think you’d mind.’

‘You didn’t think I’d mind.’ Evelyn’s grip tightened. ‘How little you know of me and the workings of my house. I do mind, Julianna. I am offended and can’t think of any of my connections that wouldn’t feel the same. You have undermined my authority and exposed me to ridicule.’

‘How have I?’

‘Bella was a personal maid. She wasn’t out of sight scrubbing pans. She was intimate to me, helped me bathe and disrobe. She knew my ways and was privy to situations personal to me. How could I or any other sensitive woman be comfortable knowing her in the employ of an acquaintance?

‘I see. Put like that I understand your concern, though I assure you I’d never enquire of your doings as I’m certain Bella would never tell.’

‘How do you know she wouldn’t? These girls have eyes and ears. They see and hear things and can be induced to reveal much for money.’

‘Not Bella! She seems a nice girl.’

‘Pregnant at sixteen? Yes that is nice. Of course she’d tell. A personal maid to Lady Evelyn Carrington, she’d spill the beans to anyone willing to listen.’

‘I don’t know what to say to you, Evie, other than I wouldn’t pry into your life and I’m sorry you think I would.’

‘Don’t be naive, Julianna! You must see how awkward you’ve made things.’

‘But she was desperate! She had nowhere to go.’

‘Then she should have come to me instead of tattling behind my back. I would’ve found a place. Now she’s nowhere to go and is without character.’

‘Why without good character? She’s not to blame. I suggested Norfolk.’

‘And you shouldn’t as she shouldn’t have got herself pregnant. She should have known it was always going to be that way!’

Julia stared. Who is this? Where is the real Evelyn, has some white-faced fury had stolen her soul. ‘Then Bella mayn’t come to Bakers End?’

‘Of course not! Why would you want her? She’ll be popping soon and you saddled with a squalling brat. What will you do then?’

‘Keep her and the baby.’

‘You shall not. ’ Evelyn’s face was set in stone. ‘You shall not keep that baby just as you shall not keep her. You must find a maid elsewhere.’

‘I don’t understand. You dislike me taking Bella and yet were happy to recommend Mrs McLaughlin. Where was your shared intimacy then?’

Evie laughed. ‘There was never intimacy there. She might’ve served the occasional coffee but that’s all. I couldn’t have borne her hands on my flesh. Bella’s young and fresh and clean. She smells of flowers not pissy drawers. The closest McLaughlin came to a secret of mine was via backstairs gossip.’

‘Then perhaps it is as well she is with me.’

‘You say so?’Evie’s eyes narrowed. ‘In point of interest how do you plan to support these waifs and strays when you can barely support yourself? Another mouth to feed, and the baby when it comes, I doubt an extra hundred or so will plug a hole that size in the housekeeping.’

’You think not?’

‘I do think so and I think the same about other dispensations.’

‘What are you saying?’

‘I am saying a stab in the back and the treasure chest is closed. You’ve cooked the Golden Goose, Ju-ju! Nothing left now but the bones. ’

‘I see. Well I’d better go. It’s best I withdraw for the night and catch an early train home tomorrow morning.’

‘As you wish.’

‘Will you allow me to apologise to you for hurt caused, and to Mr Masson for a broken engagement, and to Bella for disappointment incurred.’

Evie was stony-faced. ‘I may pass on your regret to Daniel but will say nothing to Bella. She and her tears left via the back door hours ago.’

‘Oh Evelyn!

‘Don’t you Oh Evelyn me! This morning you questioned my feelings for you. You suggested I sought a gift you were not willing to give. You hurt me when you did that. What have I ever asked of you other than friendship? It’s all I ever asked. Day after day, week after week I’ve given to you. What did you give in return, Julianna, other than middle-class suspicion and ingratitude?’

Julia locked the bedroom door and leant against it, an image burned into her brain, Evie’s mouth sucked in, a shell cracked open and another face peering through. More distress waited in the bedroom. The closet had been stripped of her belongings. Her bag, a railway ticket and the clothes she wore all that was left. The message was clear, leave as you stand.

Three o clock the bedroom door was tried. Julia heard the first fumble and saw the doorknob swivel. A brief cessation of movement and then the knob was turned again and furiously worked back and forth.

The twisting ceased. Footsteps padded away down the landing.

‘Oh!’ Julia leapt from the bed and dashing through the dressing room locked the outer door. A moment later that door was tried and with the same fury.

Horrible! The key heavy and cold in her hand she stood gazing at the door. She had never before thought to lock it. Maids needing access she’d always left the key in the lock. There were no maids tonight, Evelyn denying aid.

The rattling ceased. There was an odd hush and then a mouth was pressed to the outer lock and breath blown against the metal. No words, none that she could understand, only a soughing hiss. ‘Ju-ju......!’

All night Julia sat watching the hands of the clock crawl toward dawn. Eventually floorboards began to creak, the maids going about their business.

She unlocked the door. Jamieson, the butler, the chucker-outer, was at the bottom of the stairs. Face impassive he stepped forward. ‘Good morning, Madam.’

‘Good morning.’ She handed back the fur cape.

‘Pardon me.’ He hung it back about Julia’s shoulders. ‘It’s chilly out there first thing in the morning. Best you keep it.’

She didn’t argue. She could hardly walk the streets with bare shoulders.

‘Might I call you a cab?’

‘Thank you, I can walk. It’s not far to the station.’

Julia turned down the path. She’d walked about twenty paces when Jamieson came after her. ‘You dropped your handkerchief!’

‘My handkerchief?’

‘Yes.’

A handkerchief was proffered, a scrap of paper visible through the cloth.

She took it. ‘Thank you, Jamieson.’

He bowed. ‘No, madam, thank you.’

Julia didn’t read the note until she was inside the Cottage. Throughout the long train journey home, early morning travellers trying not to stare, the handkerchief remained clenched in her fist along with tears she could not shed. Once indoors and having waded through Mrs Mac’s grievances she went to bedroom and locking the door unfolded the cloth. Scrawled on the back of a laundry list was an address in London and the words ‘
she’s here
.’

What do I do now, thought Julia? I can’t go back neither can I abandon Bella. One person would help. She changed and went to the post-office where she wired Stefan saying she needed help and would he call at his earliest convenience. It seemed wrong to involve another but what else could she do.

Needing to see Matty she went to the Lord Nelson. ‘Is Matty well?’

‘He’s fine!’ Nan bundled her in through the door, ‘which is more than can be said for you! You look terrible!’

‘I didn’t sleep well last night.’ A lock grated in Julia’s ears and a door handle rattled. ‘It was rather noisy.’

Nan stared. ‘Is that what made you look like this, noise?

Mute, Julia could only shake her head. Nan questioned the trip, how was the opera, what was it like. Julia described the gowns and the jewels but after a while her account of the evening lacklustre to her own ears she was silent.

‘That don’t sound like much,’ said Nan. ‘I reckon I’d get more satisfaction from a brass band playin’ in the park. Will you be going again?’

‘I doubt it.’

‘Well that’s no bad thing. If you’re runnin’ about with your posh friends you’re not with your lad. You need to find a way to maintain yourself, Anna. Don’t want to lean on others especially if they’re going to let you down.’

Days passed and Julia began to wonder if offering Bella a home was a mistake. Evelyn Carrington feels things very deeply. She is many people, a woman who loves to give and make others happy, and another woman who drinks and takes pills and flies into a rage, and beats her brother about the head with whatever’s to hand, and threatens servants who displease with instant dismissal; so many people under one skin, which one was uppermost when breathing through keyholes.

Julia wrote thanking Evie for her many kindnesses. The letter posted she determined to put all thoughts of Russell Square to the past. It is as Nan said she must make her own way.

Sunday was a long day made longer by peevish servants. Julia could hear them in the kitchen, nothing specific, a general moaning long enough and loud enough to be one moan too many. She rang the bell. There was scuffling outside who should enter first. Caps askew they pushed through the door.

Julia regarded them. ‘I am presently rethinking my domestic arrangements. As yet my plans are unclear but since any change I make affects you I thought it only fair to warn you.’

‘
Warn you
!’ The words hung in the air. Neither woman spoke. Whatever they planned to say, a long list of petty annoyances, it shrivelled to nought.

Recognising a warning light Mrs Mac retreated. Maggie was less knowing. ‘Would madam like Master Matthew’s boots polished? They’re a bit scuffed. And did madam know Maggie takes Kaiser for his evening walk and gets him to do his business.’ After a while even Mrs Mac joined the clamour. ‘Had madam noticed the rearranging of the sitting-room, all getting along famously?’

Three or four similar visits were attempted until they grew weary and went to bed no doubt feeling they’d pleaded their case long enough. Julia doubts she’ll keep either, Bella, if found, must be given first choice.

Six am the bedroom door burst open and in bounced Matty and the dog. ‘Kaiser talks Mumma.’

‘Get him off the bed, dear heart. His paws are muddy.’

‘But he talks to me and I talk to him!’

‘I’m sure you do. Now remember Kaiser is to be your dog! You must take care of him and feed him and not let him dig the flower boarders.’

Matty ran off. ‘I’m going for my bath with Oldie Mother Hubbard.’

Mrs Mac is a seasoned warrior. Espying an opportunity she every morning prepares Matty’s bath and supervises his dressing. Matty likes it. Oldie Hubbard, as he calls her, reads him a fairy story. Maggie began to mend her ways. She is quiet in the kitchen, the board is scrubbed and the flag-stones polished. Breakfast is calm, a boiled egg and clean fingers of toast served with a napkin, Maggie’s cap a starched sunflower about her face.

Julia was in the garden pulling early broad beans when Luke came by.

‘Good day to you, Mrs Dryden.’

‘Good day to you.’

‘A grand day.’

‘Yes.’

‘Though it promises rain.’

‘So I believe.’

Arms folded he stood watching. The basket at her feet filling Julia carried on picking. ‘Everything alright?’ he said at length, ‘nothing wrong with Matty?’

‘He’s fine and with Mrs McLaughlin. I believe she intends giving him lessons.’

‘Does she? That’ll be good for him. He likes to learn.’

Julia kept her glance down. ‘You think so?’

‘I do. He needs to be kept busy. There’s a decent school in Lower Bakers but then I expect you’ll be thinking of a private tutor.’

‘The thought had crossed my mind.’

‘I suppose one-to-one is better if the man is right.’

‘Yes, he’d have to be right.’

Luke was silent. ‘I finished the front parlour,’ then he said. ‘It needs to dry out and then it will look better stolen wallpaper and all.’

‘I have seen it.’ Julia knew he attempted to make her smile and was sorry she couldn’t oblige. ‘I am pleased with your work. I would recommend you to anyone. Perhaps you, or Albert, would let me have a final reckoning.’

‘There’s no rush.’ Again there was a long silence. ‘You’ll let me know if there is anything you want doing no matter how small.’

‘Thank you, I will.’

Still he looked and still he frowned. Then he gestured. ‘Pick from the top. If you don’t, you’ll be left with leathery beans.’ He was gone striding away.

His visit hurt but she didn’t know why.

Julia is going through the closet removing items given by Evie. It would be churlish to return them but neither can they in good conscience be worn. By midday the closet was thinned to Cambridge days. She kept the woollen coat because she needed it, the jacquard skirt because it was ripped, and two pairs of boots. Item after costly item was consigned to the loft. Many items familiar to her time in Russell Square Mrs Mac must have wondered what was happening. Julia didn’t explain. Other than to think she didn’t deserve them her reasons were unclear. Fine feathers depleted she was revealed as a modest house sparrow.

In the end Mrs Mac gave way to curiosity. ‘Are they all to go, madam?’

‘More or less.’

‘What the summer stuff as well and us just coming into it?’

‘I’m afraid so.’

‘What about the furs? You’re surely not bunging them up there.’

‘I am.’

‘But they’ll get the moth! Why don’t you put them into cold storage? Lady Carrington does with hers.’

‘That costs money.’

‘It does but you must do something. If not airtight you’ll lose them.

‘Then I shall have to lose them.’

Mrs Mac eyed Julia’s apron and worn frock and made a decision. ‘Perhaps we could do what others do wrap them in oilskin and box them clear of the rest.’

They crouched under beams. Side-by-side in confined space, Julia with bare arms and soot-marked cheeks, Mrs Mac became chatty. ‘It’s a bit cramped in here, isn’t it? We’d have more room if I shifted those wicker tables.’

‘Yes they could go. We shan’t need them.’

‘What are they exactly?’

‘I suspect they were used when the cottage was a tea-shop.’

‘A tea-shop? You mean this used to be like Lyons Corner House in Piccadilly?’

‘A more humble version I imagine.’

‘Well I never! You know it’s in all the newspapers, Joe Lyons opening these places. They have waitresses in dark frocks and white aprons. I did wonder back in Russell Square whether I might apply.’

‘It’s a thought. Can we put the shoes in that rack?’

‘Yes, madam. Though thinking about it, waitressing I mean, it’s young women they’re after and I’m not as young as I was.’

‘None of us are! Oh, Mrs Mac! I think I hear the doorbell!’

The horse on the cab steaming and Stefan perspiring; it was obvious he’d rushed to be here. His first concern was for Matty. ‘Is Matthew ill?’

‘I’m sorry, Stefan, I should’ve said it’s not about Matty.’

‘Thank God! I would’ve come sooner but I was away.’

‘Dear Stefan! How thoughtless of me. I have worried you.’

‘I am glad you called. That you felt able to turn to me is what I would want.’

Julia offered only brief details about Bella’s difficulties. That he didn’t enquire further suggested he’d already been apprised of the situation.

‘Can you help?’

He perused the address. ‘I know this area. It is no trouble to go there. What do you want for this girl when I find her?’

‘I thought she might come here.’

‘In what capacity?’

‘None particularly, to be here, I suppose, with the rest of us misfits.’

‘Misfits?’ He smiled. ‘Is that how you see yourself?’

‘Today I do.’

‘You are not happy. Something other than this has made you sad.’

‘I have offended Lady Carrington. I offered Bella a place without consulting her and now as I speak I realise I was wrong to involve you. You are friends. I’ve drawn you into a situation where you too may possibly offend.’

Stefan shrugged a Gallic gesture which sat strangely on stiff Germanic shoulders. ‘Friendship is important. One must value friends but one must value honesty above friendship. I shall bring you your Bella. However,’ he paused, ‘being aware of your straightened circumstances you’ll forgive me asking how you propose to support the new misfits.’

‘I don’t know.’ Julia gazed out of the window. Matty had grown tired of the schoolroom and was playing with the dog. As she watched he ran across the yard and fell Mrs Mac swooping to kiss his tears away. ‘Maybe I should do as the Newman sisters did, make the cottage into a tea-shop and serve my patrons all that is needed and necessary.’

‘
Bitte
?’ Stefan frowned. ‘Needed and necessary?’

‘The ladies sold tea and then by all accounts turned the place into a cafe and from a cafe to a shop selling all sorts of things. I could turn the cottage into a miniature Lyons Corner House and as well as doling out sugar buns offer tea and sympathy, a hug for a headache and a kiss for a bruised knee. In short everything needed and necessary to make a person feel better.’

‘I’m certain such a place would prove a success,’ said Stefan. ‘Like
Herr
Lyon you’d soon be opening a chain of tea-shops. One thought? Yesterday I paid sixpence for a helping of apple strudel. In offering love and kindness as dish of the day you’ll need to organise a different tariff. How would you do it?’

Julia smiled. ‘I’d have to make it up as I went along. Maybe introduce a swapping system, you know, a portion of strudel for an unblocked chimney.’

‘Ah yes, payment in kind. It is how people used to live.’

‘It was certainly how my father lived.’

Stefan nodded. ‘You must do this and make your tea-shop a loving thing. Times change, we grow old, and yet the need for love is ever with us.’ His smile faded. ‘One thing I wish to know, Julianna, what price for a broken heart? What on God’s good earth could you charge for that?’

She didn’t mean it to happen. Now sitting at the window staring out into the warm night Julia couldn’t believe she kissed Stefan. Truly, she couldn’t help it. His face was so bewildered and sad she couldn’t bear to see it. She kissed him, and he, gently and beseechingly, kissed her back. Does she regret the kiss? No, though she might regret accepting financial backing of the tea-shop.

‘Let me do this for you,’ he’d begged. ‘I have no one for whom I can care!
Bitte
, Julianna, let me help you and Matthew. It would give me such pleasure.’

How do you deny that? How do you look into suffering eyes and say ‘I’m sorry. Today I stored box-upon-box of obligation up in the loft. I don’t believe I should ever again attach my soul in that way ever again.’ How could she say that when the giver was anxious to give, his lips trembling and his arms a ring of suffering steel.

Julia accepted his backing but made no rules. That kiss broke the rules. It’s too late to close the door. The horse might not have bolted but the stable door is open and he cuts the air with flashing hooves.

Midnight and the moon huge in the sky she was woken by stones clicking against glass. Pulling on a robe she pushed the window wide and once again looked down at Luke Roberts.

He beckoned. ‘Come down, Julia,’ he whispered.

She shook her head.

‘Do come down,’ he said urgently. ‘I need to speak to you.’

Heart beating madly she clutched at the windowsill.

The night was so still and quiet. Nothing moved, not the trees rustling, nor the birds shifting under eaves, and not even the cloud back of the sky. All hung motionless and on tiptoe waiting to see what she would do.

‘You sent a telegram. You said it was an emergency and you needed help.’ He shrugged. ‘You can’t keep anything private in this place. Everyone knows you sent it. I need to know what help you need so please come down and tell me.’

Knuckles white she clung to the sill.

‘If you’re in trouble I can help, dearest dear,’ he said. ‘There’s nothing in the world I wouldn’t do for you. I love you, Anna. I love you like crazy! My heart beats for you and you alone. Please come down.’

Oh and she wanted to! She wanted to leap over the sill and fall down onto his arms! But she couldn’t. It is too late. He is too late!

‘Anna!’

‘Why?’ Shoulders naked and satiny breast resting on green laurel she leaned down. ‘Why now?’ she begged, the words hurting her mouth. ‘A little earlier, a minute or a second, and it would’ve been alright. Now it’s too late.’

‘What do you mean too late? What has happened to make it so?’ He pushed his fingers through his hair. ‘Anna! Julianna, please!’