Fragile Blossoms (44 page)

He’d been dreaming. It was an ancient dream, a nightmare really, a throw back to when he was a boy in Charlecourt. It’s always the same thing Papa abusing servant girls. This dream though was different. He knew the girl, could see her face.

‘Oh!’ Freddie tried to move but was overcome by pain. He groaned and Evie shifted in sleep, his pain her pain and his grimace reflected in her face.

‘Senor Carrington?’ The Nun hovered. ‘You are in pain?’

He nodded.

‘Is it bad?’

‘Awful bad.’

‘I can help you.’

‘Then please do.’

She opened a bag, took a syringe, and drew up liquid. She rubbed his arm preparing a vein. ‘You were sleeping.’

‘I was.’

‘And dreaming?’

‘Yes.’

‘Dreams can be helpful. They teach us things.’

‘This one certainly taught me.’

‘Was it a good learning?’

‘I’m not sure. I learned a secret. It hurt me to see it.’

‘This will help.’ The Nun shook the phial. ‘Morphine eases pain and softens memories, sometimes it removes that we have no wish to keep.’

Freddie looked at Evie, the fatigue and care worn face. So many years and so many nightmares! He knows now who suffered behind the smoke screen of a lie. He knows who started the lie. Sir George Carrington started it but it was his daughter, the beautiful and brilliant artist Evelyn Carrington that kept it.

And it’s she who has since fought long and hard to keep the wretched screen in place. Not for her good, for Freddie! She didn’t want him to share her pain.

Now he knows where his courage comes from as well as bloody-mindedness. He understands why they both suffer the Black Dog and knowing he will fight it alongside her. He sees where his talent is born as well as his failures. Year after year the good moments, and the bad, the laughter and the tears, have been shared with this one woman.

Evie is his mother, cranky, crazy and utterly wonderful, Evelyn Carrington. Through pain he was brought into a multi-coloured world, into paint and poetry, into music and Johnny Sargent, and shouting and screaming, and being alive and being loved!

Who cares from whose loins he sprang! Look where he landed! Grace and beauty was his beginning, not poor Lady Iphigenia’s grey misery! And Oh Dear God he is glad and grateful!

‘So my darling Mother,’ he whispered, the name so sweet on his lips. ‘Because I love you, and because I intend to stay with you and care for you until we are both old and decrepit and you are sick of the sight of me, I shall resurrect the damned screen and keep the beloved lie because you wanted it so. Your secret now, Mother, is mine.’

The needle plunged home.

‘Ouch!’ He winced.

Evie opened her eyes.

A tear slid down Freddie’s cheek. ‘Hello, Sis.’

Julia was clearing breakfast when the doorbell rang. It has been a busy week, letters and cards arriving. And flowers! So many flowers the back parlour is a steamy hothouse. Later this morning caterers arrive to ready the front parlour. Although Mrs Mac and Leah asked to arrange the wedding breakfast Julia gave the work, and the worry, to an outside concern. She wants the maids to celebrate as friends not workers. They are her friends, good and bad, faithful and fickle they have been with her and Matty every step of the way. On the happiest day of her life she will not be without them.

‘You have a visitor, madam, Mr Greville Masson.’

Julia got to her feet. ‘Thank you, Dorothy. Please show him in.’

Tall and sun beaten, and suddenly older, he ducked under the lintel. ‘Good morning, Julianna. I hope I don’t disturb you.’

‘Not at all, Daniel.’

‘I know it’s early. I needed to speak with you.’

‘That’s alright. Dorothy, take Mr Masson’s hat.’

‘No don’t bother! I shan’t stay. I have business in town. I heard of your news and wanted to offer my good wishes.’

‘Thank you.’

He hovered.

‘You are well, Daniel?’

He shrugged. ‘I could be better.’

‘I understand you were delivering food over Christmas to refugee centres, and badly needed I imagine. A camp in winter, I would’ve thought you...!’

He cut across her. ‘Yes, about that and me not being here over Christmas? I’m afraid I rather left things hanging in the air. The truth is I made a mistake.’

‘A mistake?’

‘Yes, a bad one. I didn’t realise I loved you the way I do.’

‘Oh Daniel’

‘It’s alright!’ He held up his hand. ‘I’m not about to make a fool of myself, at least no bigger than already made. These things happen and we don’t know why. Ideas build up, stupid resentment and unanswered questions! We gamble with possibilities and lose the very thing we wanted to keep. Christmas is important. A man should be with his family not fighting impossible wars. Maybe it is the war, I’m getting cynical in my old age and don’t appreciate family as I used to. Whatever, I want to apologise to you and to Matthew.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Staying away helped no one, not me and certainly not my mother. I am deeply concerned about her, Julianna. I see how she has deteriorated. I fear for her sanity and physical wellbeing. I aim to get her away from Greenfields as soon as possible. The house is not good for her. It never was.’

‘I am sorry.’

‘Me too. I didn’t want to come here. It was never my plan to stay for more than a month but then I met you, and while I still didn’t care for England and that darned house, I cared for you. I still care, most passionately, dearest Julianna, and while I know I shouldn’t be talking this way, it hardly the behaviour of a gentleman, I can’t seem to stop. These are the words I should have said, words that filled my head day-after-day morning til noon but that for some dumb reason never got beyond my lips. We all make mistakes. Mine was in believing I had time on my hands and love to waste.’

At the door he paused. ‘One other thing, Callie has made some ridiculous plan regarding a meeting at the house this evening. She has invited one Madame Leonora, a so called medium to conduct a séance.’

‘I did hear about that.’

‘I can’t get her to cancel. She says she’s sent out invitations, and as it is her birthday she’ll not give way.’

‘I received an invitation in the morning post.’

‘And do you plan to attend?’

‘I’m sorry I can’t. You see I am rather busy tomorrow and had thought to have this evening to myself, just me and Matty.’

He smiled bitterly. ‘Of course you’re busy! Tomorrow is your wedding day. I had hoped you might attend as she specially asked of you.’

‘It is difficult.’

‘I don’t suppose you could spare an hour this evening? I’m pretty desperate.’

‘Well yes I could pop in for an hour.’

‘I would be grateful.’

‘Very well then.’ Julia walked him to the door. ‘Thank you for dropping by.

‘Thank you for listening. The pity of it all!’ Daniel shook his head. ‘Between us my mother and I have made a mess of things. My Strawberry Girl going one way and me another, this isn’t how I had my life planned.’

‘Things do change rather suddenly.’

‘So they do. And when I said pity I wasn’t referring to your wedding. I do most sincerely wish you well. There cannot be a more beautiful bride or a luckier groom. I just wish your wedding day could’ve been mine.’

*

Lunch time Julia was shepherded into the back parlour, the maids giggling.

‘You are not to come out yet!’ said Mrs Mac.

‘Alright.’ Julia sat with her back to the door.

‘You are to stay and not to peep until we collect you.’

Such a mystery! It’s been going on all week the whispering and secret meetings on the lower landing. Resigned, she gazed out of the window. Whatever they are up to she can’t sit for long, she’s things to do. As of tomorrow the maids are on a week’s leave. Tomorrow evening after the celebration meal they descend
en masse
to the Lord Nelson, a room each courtesy of Nan and Albert.

‘We’ll put ‘em up for the night then they can go their ways without worrying you. It’s Luke’s idea,’ said Nan. ‘He reckons they’ve looked after you and deserve a treat. I can’t see it myself. I think it’s you who’s looked after them.’

Luke is so considerate. After much discussion of where to live he suggested the cottage. ‘It makes sense. I’ve such business commitments I’m likely to be away from Norfolk at least two nights a week. I don’t want you alone in a house you don’t know. Stay put. Then if you’ve a mind we can go live on the moon.’ Hands clasped about her waist he drew her close. ‘Do you think you could be happy with me on the Moon?’

Julia thinks she could be happy in Hell if he were with her.

‘Come now, madam! We’re all done!’ Julia’s eyes covered they lead her up the stairs into her bedroom. They drew away the scarf. ‘You can look now.’ A nightgown of pale ecru silk and matching peignoir lay displayed on the bed. ‘Leah made it. She chose the material and did the cutting and sewing. We all embroidered a rose at the hem.’

The silk liquid in her hands Julia gathered it up. ‘It’s beautiful!’

‘We thought it a pity you changed your wedding dress for a darker colour,’ said Dorothy. ‘We wanted you to have something light and pretty.’

‘It’s lovely.’

‘All this heavy black,’ Mrs Mac sniffed. ‘It’s quite unnecessary.’

Leah nodded. ‘It’s not as though her death was unexpected.’

Maggie chimed in. ‘I heard the vicar’s wife wore her old grey coat to market and was spat on and called unpatriotic.’

‘Rubbish, Maggie!’ said Mrs Mac. ‘You heard no such thing.’

‘I did! I heard it.’

‘Well, nobody is able to see this nightgown and complain,’ said Dorothy.

‘Mr Luke will see it,’ said Maggie.

‘Oh Maggie!’ They fell into a quarrel, Maggie accused of being coarse and Mrs Mac challenged by Maggie as to why Ben Faulkner always gets the best slice of beef at supper and why the other night did he get off with half a leg of lamb under his coat when it should’ve been shared.

Julia left them to it. They are anxious about the future. She’d like to reassure them but can’t. It’s certain there will be changes. Nan suggested Julia move to Fairy Common, the cottage remain a business venture, and the maids paid a wage but then to pay board. Julia sees the sense of that but while she likes the house on the Common is not sure she wants to live there, or for that matter anywhere in Norfolk. It hasn’t been the easiest place. There are memories here that should stay here. Last week she received a letter from the American, Robert Scholtz, who in two or three sentences offered a way out. ‘
I and Mrs Scholtz admire what you have done. We think you a talented lady and not altogether appreciated. If you and Mr Roberts care to visit the States we would like to see you. We have a nice place here in Quincy and would make you comfortable should you choose to honour us with a visit
.’

When she mentioned it to Luke he smiled. ‘He said the same to me.’

‘America?’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘Would you consider it?’

‘I would if you would. It’s not as far as the moon and it seems we have friends there.’

Ten o clock Mrs Carmody was at the back door. Joe died in the early hours of Sunday morning. Now Bertha comes every day and sits in the kitchen.

‘I hope you don’t mind me comin’. I know you’re busy but you’re the only one I can talk to. I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t know where to go or what to say because there’s nothin’ to say and nobody to say it to. I miss his voice. I’m so used to him complainin’ about this and that. He was always complainin’ but then so was I. Fifty years of marriage what else is there.’

Julia mourned with Bertha. His step revered she’d loved Joe as a grandfather. So loyal! He braved the village to come to the opening of the Tea-Room. She misses him and believes his passing another reason to leave.

Bertha didn’t stay; she said she came to bring a bowl of hyacinths. ‘Joe meant them for you so I thought to bring them.’

Julia can’t bear to think of Joe or Stefan. Such friends are irreplaceable. The newspapers appear to have dropped the Adelman tragedy. And so they should! Stefan is no murderer, a post mortem revealed the poor darling died of a heart attack, and Karoline, as it is now believed, took her own life. No longer newsworthy the papers are silent though one did say ‘
the tragic pair was found in the snow, locked in a last embrace
.’

Reunited with their son they rest in the family vault. Julia grieves for them all. A lawyer in Dresden has written declaring Matty a benefactor in Stefan’s estate, Julia believes that like her Matty would sooner have the Bear.

Nan called at the cottage to look at the change of wedding gown. Grey silk and chiffon it hangs in the closet ready for tomorrow.

‘Is this it?’ said Nan, clearly unimpressed.

‘Yes, it was the best I could do at short notice. I know it’s not nearly as nice as the other but it is dark.’

‘I think the nation in danger of overdoin’ it. Albert wanted to drape the Victory sign with a black shawl. I wouldn’t let him. I told him we’ve a Queen to mourn but a handsome and brave King to welcome. Ooh!’ Nan pushed out her toes. ‘I’ll never forget that day.’

‘It was a day to remember.’

‘You were often in His Majesty’s company last year. I seem to recall you dined at Sandringham more than once.’

‘Yes it was an interesting time.’

‘Do you think it likely you’ll dine at such places now?’

‘I imagine not.’

‘And why is that?’ Nan snapped. ‘Is it because you’re to wed an ordinary, decent hard-working chap and not some tight corseted fellow who dies his hair orange and lisps when he talks? Is that why you’re not welcome?’

There was anger in Nan’s face, real bitterness. Julianna let the moment pass. There’s nothing she can do other than see such anger as another reason to leave. She held the gown against her. ‘Do you think this right for tomorrow?’

Nan stroked the collar. ‘It’s not the brightest thing but it’s elegant, very Frenchified. What hat will you wear?’ Julia brought the grey velvet cloche out of tissue. ‘That’s a cracker! That’ll sit well on your hair. Where did you get it?’

‘I’ve had it a while.’

‘Put it on!’ Nan stepped back. ‘Oh yes! I like the way the feathers curl about your cheek. That’s a good hat, the sort of a hat your friend Eve Carrington would wear. She’s another you don’t see these days.’

‘Evie is always busy.’

There was a brief taut silence both ladies thinking their own thoughts.

‘I take it they’ll not be comin’ tomorrow.’

‘I wrote and told of our news but as yet haven’t had a reply.’

‘A strange woman,’ said Nan, ‘I could never pin her down.’

‘Incredibly kind.

‘I’m sure. Ah well people come and go in life.’ Nan dug down in her bag. ‘I’ve brought you a gift. I wanted you to have it now as there won’t be time tomorrow. It’s a little somethin’ to welcome you into the family. It’s a journal. I thought you might like to keep track of events. Time moves so fast, and folk always on the move, if you don’t have some way of remembrance of your weddin’ day you might think it never happened.’

‘So what do you think?’ Julia stepped back from the closet. ‘Is there enough room for more clothes?’

Matty shrugged. ‘A Wolf doesn’t have clothes. He has fur.’

All week Julia has been rearranging the first floor. She moved the bed three times and strained her shoulder trying to manoeuvre the chiffonier into a better position. ‘You don’t have to shove things around, ‘Luke had said. ‘I can do that when I’m here.’ She’d flapped her hands. ‘I want things to be right.’ ‘Right?’ he’d snatched her up and in a rare public show waltzed her from room to room the maids smiling. ‘If I’m with you how can anything be wrong?’

Now, her heart already full to bursting, she makes room for him in the closet.

‘Matty while we are here, and you in a relatively good mood, I want you to understand after tomorrow you may not refer to Mr Luke as Wolf.’

‘But he’s not my Papa yet.’

‘And when he is, which is tomorrow and you in your new suit with a lovely bright boutonnière, what will you call him then?’

‘My new Papa.’

‘Your new Papa?’

‘Yes. He said I may. What boutonnière will I be wearing?’

‘I’m not sure. White I think.’ She knelt before him. ‘Matty, you are happy about this? I mean us all being here together?’

‘I don’t like Kaiser being kept away. ’

‘Well he can come up the back stairs to your room but not to this.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because his fur makes a mess and while I don’t mind a mess in your room we don’t know your new Papa will mind it in his.’

‘Mister Wolf won’t mind. He sleeps with stars.’

‘Even so until we know how he feels keep Kaiser to your room. Now as I said I’m across the way this evening. I won’t be long. Mrs Mac and Leah are out at a meeting but Dorothy will be here, and Maggie, so you’re not to worry.’