Fractured Soul (14 page)

I scoffed. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“The Auras’ numbers are dwindling.”

“And from what you’ve told me, so are the Lizens’.”

“But we don’t affect the world like Auras do. Even if it’s from a distance, you guys do so much good.”

I stared at her, aghast. “Who’s teaching this crap? Any person can make a difference in the world.”

“But you have Light in you!”

“And you have the ability to breathe underwater and who knows what else. Everyone has something unique about them, but that doesn’t make them special. It’s what they do with their gifts that makes them special. Light means nothing if I don’t do something with it.” I swallowed. “The way I’ve been acting lately, maybe I’m turning into a Vyken.” I waited for her reaction.

Tessa laughed and kept walking. “Now that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Since Tessa seemed to know where she was going, I followed. After a few minutes of silence, I asked, “Do you think all Vykens are evil?”

Tessa thought a minute before saying. “Well, if I go off the same rationale you just gave me, it would depend upon the Vyken’s actions. Does a person just become an evil Vyken, or is it their actions that make them so? I’m sure somewhere along the line, though, there’s a point of no return.”

“I get where you’re going with this, but let’s say there’s a Vyken that hasn’t done anything wrong and is actually nice. How do I know he’s not tricking me, waiting for me to become vulnerable?”

“Are you talking about someone specific?”

“Maybe.” I snapped off a thin tree branch in passing and proceeded to break it into pieces.

“Spill.”

“I don’t know that much about him as I’ve only met him a couple of times. But he’s fast and does this cool thing with the wind—”

“Liam?”

I stopped her. “You know him?”

“I’ve met him a few times over the years, but lately he’s been coming around a lot more, asking me all sorts of questions about some of the Guardians and who else I’ve seen out here. But, wait. Liam isn’t a Vyken.”

“Um, yes, he is.”

“No he’s not. He’s an Enlil.”

“What’s an Enlil?”

“He controls wind. Liam’s a good guy, Llona. And he’s here trying to help the Auras, not harm them.” Tessa turned onto a worn trail. The dark silhouette of Lucent Academy came into view.

“I knew Lizens were simple, but I didn’t know they were naive.”

Tessa whirled around. “You’re doing it again.”

I closed my eyes tight. “Right. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

“What’s going on with you?”

The painful memory of the night’s events and what I’d almost done to the deer rushed back. “I’m not sure yet, but I’ll figure it out.”

She touched my arm. “Do you need help?”

“I don’t think anyone can help me.” I started walking again, picking up my pace.

“You’re not alone, you know,” Tessa said from behind me.

I reached the wall and looked up, pretending I hadn’t heard her. “So how do you get over?” I could easily jump it, but didn’t dare in front of her.

“Over here.” Tessa walked to the wall and, at eyelevel, lifted what looked like a stone. Beneath it was a keypad. She pushed a series of numbers, and a section of the wall opened like a door. If I wasn’t feeling so depressed, I would’ve commented how James Bond this all was, but instead I went quietly through the door.

Before we split ways, I said, “I’m sorry again, about before.”

“It’s okay.”

I nodded and walked away. “I’ll see you.”

“Liam’s a good person. So are you,” she called after me.

I raised my hand to signal good-bye, but kept walking forward.

Back in my room, I left the lights off, collapsed into bed, and touched the necklace Christian had given me last year, which I had worn ever since. “Endure to the end,” it said. Could I endure, and to what end?

I need Christian
, I thought and rolled onto my side. If it was possible for someone to be a half-Vyken, he was the only person at Lucent I dare ask, but his answer terrified me.

Because I’d barely slept, it took some convincing, but eventually I rolled out of bed and went into the closet to pick my clothes out for the day. This proved difficult. All I could think about was how my life might never be the same. If what Liam had said was true and I really was becoming a Vyken, then Christian had been trained to kill me. I sat down and kicked the closet door shut, trapping me in the small closet.

I stayed there, willing myself to get up, when I heard the chimes. I wiped at my eyes and stared at the back of the door.
Time to get up and pretend everything’s okay.

As I was rising, I caught a glimmer of blue near the hinge of the door. A brick was dislodged just enough for me to notice. I reached for it and wiggled it around. With a little more effort, I removed it from the wall and peered inside. A book, no bigger than my hand, lay hidden inside. I took it out of its hiding spot and brushed the dust off its cover.

Opening to the first page, I read: “This diary belongs to Britt Myers.” I jumped when I heard a knock at my door.

“Llona? You in there?” May called.

I opened the closet door. “I’m just getting ready.”

“Are you coming to breakfast?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be right there.”

“Okay, see you.” I heard her footsteps move away from the door.

I stared down at the diary in shock, wishing I could skip classes, but that was a lot harder to do when you actually lived at school. Dressing quickly, I applied more makeup than usual to hide my red eyes and then stuffed the diary into my bag.

In the dining room, I dropped into a seat next to May and Kiera. “How’s it going?”

Kiera set down a glass of milk. “Good.”

“Did you have fun with your dad?” I asked her.

“Yeah, it was awesome. He took me to see a Broadway play. Have you guys ever been?”

“Once,” May said, “My mom took me . . .”

Just then Tessa reached over my shoulder and set down my breakfast plate and blue vitamin. “Get any sleep?” she asked quietly while Kiera and May continued to talk.

“Sort of.”

Tessa patted me on the back and walked away. I watched her and the other Lizens serve the rest of us while I rolled the pill between my fingers. So bizarre. I wondered when Auras first started having servants. I took a bite from a toasted bagel.

“Llona?” May asked.

I looked at her. “I’m here. Sorry. What’s up?”

“Kiera asked you what you did yesterday.”

Almost snapped a deer’s neck, ran from a water-freezing Vyken, and walked underwater without breathing.
“Nothing,” I said and popped the pill in my mouth.

Across the room I watched Tessa clear Ashlyn and clan’s table. They didn’t notice her efforts. Well, one girl did. She pointed at a glass that Tessa had forgotten to clear. I took another bite, my mind wandering to the diary inside the backpack at my feet.

“Did you get any studying done?” Kiera asked, but I didn’t answer. I wanted to do something else. Even though I wasn’t finished with my food, I stood up, threw the backpack over my shoulders, and began stacking my dishes.

“What are you doing?” Kiera asked.

“Clearing the table.” I gathered my silverware and put it onto my plate.

Kiera’s eyes widened. “That’s the Lizens’ job!”

“I can clean up my own crap.” I lifted my dishes. Several heads turned in my direction.

“Wait,” May said, quickly gathering her dishes too. “I’m coming.”

She stood and followed me toward the kitchen. The room was silent. I glanced at Tessa briefly; she was shaking her head at me in horror. At the same time Sophie stood up. She rushed over to me as if I had fire coming out of my head and blocked the way to the kitchen doors. Through a forced smile she said, “What are you doing, dear?”

“Cleaning up.”

“We have people for that.”

“Do you pay them?”

She laughed. “Of course not. They enjoy doing it.”

“Since when do others love picking up the half-eaten crumbs of spoiled brats?”

She gasped, along with all those within earshot.

I brushed past her into a hot kitchen. Two Lizen women were scrubbing a steaming grill. They looked up at me and froze.

“Where do we wash our dishes?” May asked before I could. I loved May.

The women continued to stare, but a familiar face rushed forward. “Llona?”

“Hi, Lilly. May, this is Tessa’s mom. Can we wash our dishes real quick?”

“No, no, no!” She took the dishes from our arms. “You mustn’t do things like this. It is the Lizens’ job.”

“Says who?” I asked.

“Please, Llona. We like to serve Auras.”

“Llona!” Sophie’s sharp voice made me spin around.

“What?”

“I want you in my office, now.” The several yards of shimmering material around her waist billowed outward as she spun quickly on her heel.

I took a deep breath and exhaled. “Fine.”

Sophie turned to May. “And I want to see you after.”

“Why?” I said. “She didn’t do anything but follow me.”

“Actually,” May interrupted, “Llona was copying me. She’s always doing that.” She looked over at me, and together we burst into giggles.

Sophie’s face burned red. “Both of you, follow me now.” She turned around and walked back through the dining room that was full of whispers and glares. May and I lagged behind her, while under my breath I hummed Darth Vader’s theme song.

*  *  *  *  *

Sophie closed her office door behind me. “I’m getting tired of these visits, Llona.”

I dropped into my usual chair. “Me too.”

“Don’t get smart with me,” she snapped.

“Is being smart a crime too?”

Her shoulders sagged as she lowered herself into a chair. “I don’t know what to do with you,” she said more to herself than me.

“Can you tell me what I did wrong? I honestly thought I was being helpful.”

“It wasn’t necessarily wrong, it’s just that you’re taking away from others.”

“You mean the Lizens?”

“Of course. Serving us is their identity. It makes them feel important in the world. Before us their race had almost become extinct. We saved them.”

“So in return, they are in our servitude?”

“We didn’t ask them to do this; they chose it.”

“They may have centuries ago, but has anyone asked them lately if they enjoy waiting on us?”

“I haven’t heard any of them complain.”

“Why do they need to? Look at their faces! They look miserable.”

She shook her head. “I truly doubt that, Llona.”

“Seriously? Open your eyes. Or are you afraid that if you do, you and all your precious Auras might actually have to lift a finger around here?”

Sophie leaned back in her chair, looking amused. “So that’s why you think we’ve gathered every young Aura we can find—to pamper them? You are a naive, ignorant child.”

“And you are a stubborn, closed-minded adult.”

A tense few seconds passed. I was about to apologize, but my aunt smiled.

“You are so much like your mother,” she said. “I’m surprised how much I’ve missed this banter.” She stood up and came around in front of me. She leaned against her desk and said, “I really messed things up with your mother, and I don’t want to do that with you. How about a truce?”

“Like what?”

“How about I try to be more aware and open minded and you try to understand what we’re trying to do here. Our safety is everything.”

“Fine. I’ll try.”

“Good. Can I get a hug?”

I stood. “Of course.” Her arms came around me. I was surprised to discover how much her touch reminded me of my mother’s. I resisted the urge to cling to her.

Finally, Sophie let go and looked at me. “You have so much potential, Llona. I can’t wait to see what you do with your future.”

*  *  *  *  *

Feeling better about my relationship with Sophie, I crossed campus to return to class. We might not have had a lot in common, but we were family. With so few family members left, I resolved to try harder.

My etiquette class had already begun, so I slipped in quietly and took the nearest seat. I tried to pay attention to what Ms. Williams was saying, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Britt’s diary. I was itching to read it. I glanced around for a fire alarm but found none.

A girl next to me raised her hand in response to a question I hadn’t heard.

“Auras are always polite and kind,” she said and looked at me. I glared back.

“Exactly,” Ms. Williams said. “Well done, Kim. What about public outbursts? Is that an appropriate behavior for an Aura?”

I glanced around. What was this? A lesson directed at me?
I don’t think so.
I raised my hand.

Ms. Williams seemed surprised to see my arm occupying air space. “Llona?”

“I think there is a time and place to stand up for what you believe in, no matter who’s around or what’s going on.”

She pursed her lips. “Actually, Llona, an Aura should always be respectful, and if she has a disagreement with someone it should be handled in private.” Ms. Williams turned to pick up a lesson book, and even though the air was thick with tension, I raised my hand again.

Ms. Williams looked up; her right eye twitched. “Yes, Llona?”

“I disagree.” A couple of girls snickered, but I continued. “Sometimes it takes just one person to stand up and voice their opinion. Just one person to make a difference, to make things better.”

“What are you saying?” Kim asked. “You think you’re in an oppressed society?”

“Maybe I am.”

“That’s enough!” Ms. Williams said. “Llona, I think you’ve caused enough of a disruption for today. I’m excusing you for the rest of class.”

“Really?” I didn’t mean to sound so excited.

“Yes. I want you to go straight to the library and read over the lesson, and when class is over, you and I will have a little chat.”

I grabbed my backpack and stood up. “Deal.” To the rest of the class, I couldn’t help but say, “Have fun being brainwashed.”

I found a quiet spot in the back of the library and sat down. I placed the diary in front of me and stared at its worn blue cover. In a way I felt wrong about what I was doing. This journal didn’t belong to me. It belonged to Britt’s family. They should be the one to read her last words.