Fractured ( Fractured #1) (14 page)

“Hey, Mandy.
It’s Jennifer. Is Bryan there?”

“No, Jennifer. He went to work at Burger Hut today. Sorry.”

“I have the day off and thought he’d want to get together. I guess I’ll have lunch at Burger Hut today.” There was a pause. I thought I heard the gears of her mind churning through the phone. “Say, Mandy, would you like to go to the mall? The Clothing Corral is having an end-of-summer sale.”

“But it’s only the end of July,” I said.
Was she asking me to spend a girly day with her? No doubt to get some intel on Bryan.
Remembering my closet purge and the promise to buy prettier replacements, I agreed to go with her against my better judgment. Anything had to be better than staying home with my mother, now that she’d returned from the Twilight Zone. “Um, sure, Jennifer. Who couldn’t use more summer outfits?”

“Great! I’ll pick you up at eleven.” Then she hung up.

After collecting some of my birthday money from my secret hiding place, I noticed it was only 9 o’clock. The horn from Dillon’s bus honked, and he collected his lunch box and raced out the door. I waved to the matron before closing the door. Then I paced the living room trying to figure out where my mother got the booze. I couldn’t sit inside. Mom was in her alcoholic coma upstairs, and everyone else was out of the house, but I didn’t know where to go. Grabbing my sketchpad, I plopped down on the porch steps and began drawing the white daisies in the flowerbed next to me.

Nearing completion of the scene, I looked up to discover Rob standing at the foot of the walkway. His feet were spread apart
, and one hand was behind his back. I wanted his strong arms to embrace me and never let go. Even though I was disappointed that he hadn’t called the previous night, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling when I saw him. I tossed my art supplies to the side and jumped up from the step. He walked forward to meet me, but I beat him more than halfway. My body crashed into his. My arms found his neck. One of his arms curled around my waist. I didn’t wait for him to initiate. My lips pressed against his and I kissed him as if I hadn’t seen him in years.

“Wow! I guess that answers whether or not you’re angry that I didn’t call.” Both of his dimples were present. Being in the same air space with him melted me. From behind his back
, he brought his arm forward. I stepped back, and a beautiful bouquet of wild flowers filled the gap between us. “Matt never gave me a break last night, so I couldn’t call. I worked until seven this morning. I wanted to call when I got home, but I didn’t think your family would appreciate the phone ringing until a more decent hour.” He looked down at the space between his feet. I cradled the flowers in my hands. They smelled wonderful. “I haven’t even been to sleep yet. I counted every minute until I thought it would be all right to come over.” He looked at me. “The flowers were to help me earn your forgiveness.”

My hand reached up and touched his cheek. “There’s nothing to forgive. I knew there had to be a good reason why you didn’t call.” I took another deep whiff of the flowers. “Come inside. I have to put these in water.
I’ll make you breakfast.” Without waiting for an answer, I grabbed his hand, pulled him past the abandoned art supplies, and into the house. I walked straight to the kitchen, grabbed a crystal vase from the cabinet, and then carefully arranged the flowers in it. After another sniff, I moved the vase to the middle of the table. “Can I make you some pancakes or eggs or something?” I asked.

“No, thanks. I had some cereal before I left the supermarket.”

“I wan sur-al, too.” My heart stopped when I realized who was speaking. Standing in the kitchen archway was my mother. The neck of her thin pink nightgown hung off her shoulder low enough that, any further, and Rob would have known my mother very intimately. Her chocolate brown hair was wild and unkempt. The fragrance of the flowers mixed with the smell of Mom’s liquor. She clutched the bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand, and hung onto the wall with the other.

I lo
oked at Rob. My jaw dropped. I ran to her, trying desperately to turn her around and get her upstairs before Rob could figure out that she was drunk.

“
Wha-ar-yew-doin’?” she asked, in a barely comprehensive garble, as she tried to shoo me away.

“Come on, Mom. Let’s get you back to bed. You’re still not feeling well.” I looked over my shoulder. Rob’s
eyes were wide and his mouth agape. Using my body to block as much of the scene as possible, I ushered her out of the kitchen. It was one thing for Jimmy to see my mother like this—he had practically grown up in this house and knew all of our secrets—but it was mortifying to have Rob see it. Mom lowered her resistance and allowed me to help her up the stairs, back into her room. I laid her in bed and pulled the covers up to her shoulders. When I left the bedroom, I kept the door open a crack, just so that I could hear any future movement. Taking the bottle, I emptied the contents down the bathroom sink, and tossed it into the wastebasket.

At the bottom of the stairs, I took a deep breath and prepared myself with an excuse for my mother’s behavior. Rob
was near the refrigerator when I entered the kitchen. “Rob, I’m sorry you had to—“

His mouth was on mine, kissing me hard. I reciprocated, only gasping every once in a while for air. Our dance caused us to move until my back was up against the refrigerator.
His kisses fueled me. His lips moved to my neck, driving me to a place I’d never been before. The refrigerator door handle pushed into my back. I winced as I tried to shift my body.

“I’m sorry. I’m hurting you.” He backed off.

“Are you crazy? It was the handle of the door. I was enjoying every minute of that. You didn’t have to stop.” His body relaxed. He wore half a smile. The uneasiness didn’t give way. “I’m serious. You weren’t hurting me. But…”

“What?”

“What did I do to deserve being kissed like that? I need to know what to do next time.” I smiled.

He looked down. “I wanted to kiss the pain away.”

“The pain? I’m not in pain.”

“Aren’t you? Your mother…
”

I took a deep breath and
exhaled slowly. I pulled away from him and sat at the table. He took the seat next to me. “I was hoping you wouldn’t find out about her, at least not yet, but I can’t lie to you and pretend that I’m not embarrassed by my mother’s choices. She’s been like this for a long time. Yesterday was an anomaly. I’m glad that was the day you actually got to meet her.”

“Are you sorry that I know?”

I wanted to skip the whole conversation and just have him kiss me the way he had just done, but I knew I’d have to have this conversation sooner or later.

“Yes.” I hesitated and changed my answer. “No.” My eyes found his. “I think I would have tried to make excuses for her, but really there are none. It’s better if you know the truth.”
I wrestled with the right words. I waited for him to politely excuse himself from my life. I had his attention. “She went into a depression when Cassandra died. My grandmother had to move in to take care of Bryan and me so my dad could keep the garage going. Mom found that alcohol numbed the pain. She’s not a violent drunk, at least not all of the time, but she can say mean things. It progressed slowly. When Bryan and I were two, she went for counseling and attended AA meetings regularly, according to Dad. After six years, she regained herself. Then she and my dad found out that they were going to have another baby. Dillon was like the restart of her life.”

Sunlight came in from the window and
bounced off the table. I stared at it. It helped me focus. “Sometimes Bryan and I were jealous that Mom was spending more time with Dillon than with us. We used to complain to each other about it all the time.”

I looked at
Rob. He was absorbing every word. “When Dillon was four, Mom noticed he wasn’t hitting his toddler milestones. I think she felt guilty for not being there for Bryan and me, so she was very involved with every moment of Dillon’s life. She and Dad took him to a developmental pediatrician. Dillon was evaluated, and a pediatric neuropsychologist told them he is autistic.”

Rob interrupted. “Tha
t’s right. You told me that’s why you want to study neuroscience.”

I nodded. “Mom relapsed. At first, it was just wine with dinner. Then it was once in the morning to steady her nerves so she could get Dillon onto the bus.
He used to have bad meltdowns before school. Then it was another glass before he came home. She graduated to Jack Daniels and Smirnoff. Now, the glass is rarely empty. Sometimes it’s straight from the bottle. I do a regular sweep of the house to try to find all of her hiding places, but she always has new ones. I’ve begged her to go to counseling, or to talk to the doctor. Dad is no better; he buys it for her on a regular basis. I can’t walk past the liquor store without Mr. Villis looking at me, because he knows our family’s secret. I think Dad has just given up trying to get her to stop. Unfortunately, he’s enabling her.”

“I’m sorry.” His finger stroked my cheek. I closed my eyes, as if
his touch could erase the pain of my family.

“Yesterday,” I continued, “I actually got her to go most of the day without having anything to drink. We watched television and looked through old photo albums. It was so normal, but scary.”

He reached for my hand. His touch was warm and assuring. “I wish I could make it better.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I know what it feels like to lose someone you love. My parents were taken quickly, but it’s different for you. You’re watching your mother slowly kill herself. I don’t want you to hurt.”

“
I never had anyone else to talk to about any of this. Bryan is always running somewhere, and Dad is never home. Dillon is in his own world, and my only friend moved away years ago.” Part of the hole deep inside of me felt as if it were closing by sharing all this with Rob. “Can I tell you something without you thinking I’m strange?”

“Try me,” he said.

I looked into his eyes. “I never knew how unhappy I was until I met you. I mean, I don’t mind taking care of Dillon, or cooking and cleaning up after my Dad and Bryan. I don’t even mind mothering Bryan’s friend, Jimmy. But, it’s always been about what they needed. I never thought about what I needed, what I wanted. That day I saw you behind the deli counter was when I knew what I was missing. I knew what I wanted.”

The lines
of concern on his face softened. With my hand still in his, he stood up from the table. He tugged on my hand, and I did the same. Then he pulled me toward him. My heart rate quickened. I waited anxiously for his lips; instead, he held me in his arms. It was better than a kiss.

Chapter Twenty-Five

He held me for
a long time. It was nice not to have to do anything. The rhythm of his heartbeat steadied my own. To think that I had only known him a few days and he was so supportive was nice. I didn’t even have that with my own family. Then again, it was because of my family that I needed the support. It wasn’t until Rob yawned that I realized he hadn’t slept yet.

“Oh my gosh, you need to go sleep.”

His eyes were glassy. “No, I don’t want to leave you.”

“
I’ll be fine. Really. I’m not staying in the house. Jennifer invited me to go to the mall. I think she wants to extract information for getting Bryan’s attention. She’s coming at eleven.” We both looked at the clock. “I thought you’d be sleeping, which you should be. You need to go home. I promise I’ll call you when I come back, okay?”

With a slight hesitation, he agreed
, and I walked him out to his car. He kissed me again before breaking away and getting into his car.

As I watched
the car roll away from the curb, my fingers brushed my lips. I wished I could still feel his pressed against mine
.
Another glance at the clock told me I had twenty minutes before Jennifer was due to pick me up. I was glad to have some time to think about Rob. After peeking in on Mom, who was snoring in her room, I left a note on the table. Then I grabbed my purse from my room and waited on the porch for Jennifer. Her expensive silver car pulled up to the curb. I reached for the handle and saw the rest of the Beauty Apocalypse–Tanya, Courtney, and Liz–were sitting in the back seat. I didn’t know they’d be coming, too. What had I gotten myself into?

“C’mon, sit in
the front.” With apprehension, I eased in and buckled up. She tore down the street doing twenty miles above the speed limit. “This is going to be fun. The girls and I have been looking forward to this make-over for a long time.”

“Make-over?”

“You didn’t think we would let you go out with a hottie like Rob Cooper and not have something to do with your fashion transformation, did you?” A smile appeared on Jennifer’s face.

“I don’t need a transformation,” I said.

“We’ll see,” Jennifer kept her eyes on the road.

“And how’d you know I
’m dating Rob?”

Liz pushed her face forward. “
Who do you think gossip central is? We know everything. Everyone talked about it for weeks when he moved in with the Bowmans.”

“
Plus, he’s been the hottie-blip on every girl’s radar. We’ve all tried to get him to notice us.” Courtney said, as the other two girls laughed at her comment.

I thought about her choice in words and what Rob told me at the restaurant, about how all the girls tried to collect him.

“Don’t think we haven’t all tried to get to know him,” Tanya said. I didn’t appreciate her sex-kitten tone.

Courtney added, “You’re the only one who managed to get more than a hello out of him.”

Was I just another one of the girls on the list who was smitten with Rob’s good looks? Maybe, but I was the one dating him.

Suddenly, I didn’t know if I wanted to go to the mall anymore. I retreated into my usual quiet self
, and let the other girls do all of the talking. Just get through today, Mandy. Then they’ll forget all about you and things will go back to the way it used to be, when you were just another geek they make fun of.

The mall wasn’t crowded. Aside from the usual bargain-hounds, we were the largest group wandering through the long building.
The girls went straight to the store with the nicest clothes. I followed. Jennifer and Courtney piled up outfits for me to try on, as Tanya and Liz quizzed me on what Rob was like.

“Is he a good kisser?” Liz asked.

“What’s he like behind those cool blue eyes?” Courtney inquired.

I didn’t answer any of the questions. It wasn’t their business.

“You know who’s kind of cute?” Courtney asked. “His cousin, Eric.”

“
Eric Bowman?” Tanya asked. “Court, he’ll only be a freshman.”

Courtney defended her opinion. “So? He’s still cute. Have you seen his sexy smile? I bet he’s a great kisser… and his eyes. I melt every time he looks my way.”

Jennifer rolled her eyes. “Here, try these on.” She handed me a pile of clothes and pushed me into a fitting room.

Through the curtain that separated us, I heard Jennifer whisper to the other girls. “Well, I think Bryan is super hot. I’m hoping he picks up on that I like him.”

“You mean Mandy’s brother?” Tanya asked.

“
Maybe if you tell Mandy, she could put in a good word for you,” I heard Liz whisper back. I knew it. I figured that was the reason Jennifer really wanted to hang out with me.

“Mandy’s not a dating service,” Jennifer said. That made me like Jennifer a little more.

I bought a couple of pairs of shorts, some new tops, and a skirt that stopped just above my knees. All in all, I felt good about my purchases. The other girls had several packages as well. We stopped for lunch at the food court. They included me in on their discussions, which ranged from what we bought, to the upcoming school year as seniors, to which boys they thought were worth a second look. They asked my opinion frequently, as if I were really part of their group. They seemed to be genuinely interested in what I thought. For the first time in a long time, I felt as if I had friends. But, I knew that it would probably end the minute they dropped me back home.

When Courtney, Liz
, and Tanya got up to throw away the garbage, I turned to Jennifer. “So, you like my brother?”

Her eyes widened and she nodded. “I know he’s more than just a pretty face. I’d like to get to know him. I just don’t know if he likes me.”

Is she serious? Every guy in town likes her.
“Do you want me to ask him?” I offered.

“I don’t want to put you in an awkward position.” She
smiled at me. “But if the topic happens to come up, I’d appreciate a positive thought in my direction.” Her face became more serious. “I know we used be friends in the first grade, Mandy. I didn’t know what I was doing back then. My parents pushed my sister and me to be friends with girls in certain social classes. I feel awful about how I treated you. Maybe we could try again. Do you think you can forgive me?”

Wow, I was impressed.
Her confession surprised me, but it seemed very sincere. “Sure, Jennifer.” I guess she wasn’t as shallow as I had thought
.
“And don’t worry, I’ll put in a good word for you with Bryan.”

She smiled,
but it wasn’t her usual fake one. “Thanks.”

The other girls came back. We walked to the car, each trying to balance our numerous packages.

I wanted to call Rob the minute I walked in the house, but didn’t know if he was still asleep. In order to distract my eagerness, I went upstairs to unpack what I had purchased.

At three o’clock
, my brother came home from working at Burger Hut. He smelled like pickles and onions. He stopped when he saw me sitting in the kitchen.

“What happened? Is Mom okay?” Panic edged his voice.
“I thought you’d call me.”

“
She’s back to ‘normal’.” He read the disappointment on my face. “Rob met the real Mom this morning.”

Bryan’s whole body deflated
, like a balloon with a large hole. “I guess it was just what you said, an anomaly, huh?” As he opened the refrigerator to grab a can of soda, I wondered when being drunk became normal. “What happened with Rob? Was he okay with it?”

“
He was very supportive. He wanted to fix it. He tried to make me feel better.”

Taking a sip directly from the can, he said, “
What do you mean, he tried to fix it?”

“
He hugged me and told me he understood. I guess since his parents are gone, he knows it sucks when things don’t go the way you want them to.”

It was quiet for several minutes.
Brian broke the silence. “You like him a lot, don’t you?”

“Yeah. I do
.”

“
Just promise me you’ll be careful, Mandy. He’s your first boyfriend, and you don’t really know him. I don’t want to have to kill him if he breaks your heart. That would ruin my chances at college and the ladies.” He smiled.

“I know, Bryan, but he makes me feel incredibly special. When he shares his feelings, I can see in his eyes that he means it. When he holds me, it’s
as if I can’t breathe without him. And when he kisses me… ”

He held up a hand. “That’s enough. I don’t need to know anymore. Don’t give me a reason to hate him.”

“Sorry.”

“Look, Mandy, you’ve been by yourself for a
long time. First, Jennifer dumped you. Then Meredith moved away. I know you’ve sacrificed a social life in order to take care of Dillon. It’s your time now. If this guy makes you happy, then I’m happy for you.” His smile was reassuring. “But if he ever lays an uninvited hand on you, I’ll break his legs.” He grinned.

“Thanks,
Bry. You’re a good brother.”

“I’m not just your brother.
I’m your triplet.”

“Yeah.” I reached over and hugged him. “By the way, I went shopping with Jennifer today.”

“So?”

“S
he’s nice. She said it was because of her parents that she couldn’t be friends with me before. We’re trying again.” He was silent. Then I thought I’d throw it out there. “You know, I think she likes you.”

“Yeah?” He sounded surprised.

“Yup.”

As he got up to leave the kitchen, I reminded him that Dillon would be home any minute. “Dinner will be ready at six.”

When I was sure I was alone in the kitchen, I dialed Rob’s number.

“Hello?” He sounded groggy.

“Did I wake you?”

“No, this call is just a continuation of my dream. Now I have the wonderful sound of your voice to match the images that are filling my head.”

Even though he couldn’t see me, I knew he could tell I was blushing.

“Did you sleep
well?” I asked.

“I crashed as soon as I got home. How was your day?”

“Nice. I bought some new things and actually had a nice day with Jennifer and the girls.”

“That’s great. You’ll have to model your new outfits for me.”

The heat returned to my face.

“I have the day off tomorrow. Can I spend it with you?” he asked.

Did he even have to ask?
“Of course. I would love that.”

“Is noon okay?” he asked. “We can be together without me having to leave you before dinner.”

“Perfect,” I said.

“I have to work tonight, but I promise to call you at nine.”

“Okay. I’ll be waiting. Tell Matt you need your dinner break.”

“I will.”
His voice softened. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too.
”
I hung up the phone and stared at it for a long time with my hand on the receiver.
I didn’t
want our connection to be broken, even for a little while.