Fractured (11 page)

‘I woke up when the alarm went off at 6.30 a.m. I left Anna sleeping, fed Jack, made Anna some breakfast, then I went to work.’

‘Had you noticed any change in your wife recently?’

They already knew that she hadn’t been herself; he had to be consistent. ‘Well, she was a bit quieter than normal; she was
tired. Jack wasn’t sleeping much, and she was up every couple of hours to feed him. But she was breastfeeding, you see, so
there wasn’t much I could do to help her at night.’

Hill leaned forward and put his elbows on the table. ‘When you say “quieter than normal”, what do you mean?’

‘Nothing really, she just wasn’t as lively. She was tired. She had a new baby, you know?’

He saw Kaminsky glance at Hill, and felt a jolt of anger shoot through him. ‘What was that look for? Have you got kids? She
was just tired! She hasn’t done anything wrong.’ Tony swallowed hard as the tears started. He reached over and grabbed some
tissues from a cardboard box on the table and wiped his eyes. ‘I’m sorry.
I just don’t know why we’re sitting here talking rather than finding whoever did this.’

Hill nodded slightly. ‘Mr Patton —’

‘Tony.’ He wanted them to use his first name, to remember that he was a husband, a father, not a suspect. He screwed up the
tissue and stuffed it in his pocket.

‘Tony – our job is to gather as much information as possible. I can assure you that we’re doing everything we can to find
out what happened.’

Panic tightened in Tony’s chest and he began to hyperventilate. The police sounded so impassive, but they needed to listen
to him; he had to convince them. ‘I’m not stupid, I know you think it was her! Jesus, there’s no way she would have done this.
No way in the world. You don’t understand —’

Hill continued, unaffected. ‘We’re not making any assumptions, we’re just trying to find out what happened to your son. Was
there a reason you had asked your mum to go round to the house that day?’

Tony forced himself to exhale. ‘I asked her to go round to help out. As I’ve already said, Anna was exhausted. She wasn’t
getting any sleep. I thought Mum would be able to help her with the baby, make her some lunch, tidy up, just to give her a
break.’

‘And you called us that afternoon to report Anna missing.’

‘Yes.’

‘Can you tell us more about that, about when you realised she was missing?’

‘She wasn’t at home when Mum got there. She hadn’t told me she was going out, and she knew Mum was coming, so it was unusual.
I went looking for her, I called her friend, I did everything I could think of. I couldn’t find them.’

‘And why did you call the police?’

‘Because I was worried! I didn’t know what else to do.’

‘What were you worried about? What did you think might have happened?’

‘Not this!’ Tony slammed his hands down on the table. They were trying to make him say it, but he wasn’t going to. ‘I thought
she might have had an accident or something, that she had fallen asleep at the wheel and crashed the car, or got lost. Or
maybe she’d gone out because something was wrong with Jack.’

‘Tony, I have to ask you a difficult question. Had Anna said anything to you about hurting Jack, or herself?’

‘No! Of course not! Why does everyone keep asking me that?’ He folded his arms. ‘Jesus, she would never have done this. She
adored Jack, she wanted him so much. There’s just no way …’ Tony’s voice trailed off and he shook his head. ‘Look, Anna did
not do this to Jack. I can tell you that now. You’re missing something! Check her car, do some DNA tests or whatever. Something
happened to her, to make her like this. There’s more to this, there must be.’

‘Tony, we’re looking into every possibility at this stage,’ Hill said. ‘Forensics are involved, we’ve looked through the house
– I assure you that we’re not going to miss anything.’

The detective’s smug, patronising tone made Tony narrow his eyes. They were so sure of themselves, so convinced they knew
what had happened, but they didn’t. ‘And you didn’t find a note, did you?’

As soon as he’d said it, he regretted it. He kept his face neutral. Why had he brought that up?

Hill frowned and spun a pen between his thumb and fingers. ‘A note? No. But that doesn’t mean anything.’

‘And she left milk! Don’t you see – Jack was breastfed. I used the last of it from the freezer in the morning, so she must
have made up bottles of formula. That proves she didn’t … didn’t do this to him. Why would she bother doing that if she was
going to kill him, for God’s sake?’ Tony leaned back with his arms folded.

‘But what worries us, Tony, is that it suggests she wasn’t planning on coming back. It doesn’t make me think there’s been
an accident or a third party involved.’

Tony uncrossed his arms and rubbed at the stubble on his chin. His hands shook. He didn’t know what to say, what to believe.
They were backing him into a corner, and he knew he was trapped, flailing. He glanced at Hill, then Kaminsky, who seemed to
be hiding a smirk.

‘We’re not criminals, you know. We’re just ordinary people.’ He tried not to start crying again. Anna couldn’t have done this.
He pleaded with himself to calm down, yet his mind was racing. He thought he knew Anna, but did he really? Everyone – the
police, even her mum – seemed to accept that she was so ill, so deranged, that she had killed her own baby. Was he the idiot?
Was he as bad as her?

‘I’m sorry, can we stop for now?’ Tony felt his mouth fill with saliva. He had to get out of here before he vomited.

Hill glanced at Kaminsky, who nodded. ‘Interview terminated at 12.45 p.m.,’ Hill said, then clicked off the tape recorder.

He stood up and held out his hand to Tony, who also stood and shook it without making eye contact. ‘Call us if you need to.
Otherwise we’ll be in touch soon.’

Hill paused then spoke more softly. ‘You know how to contact me if you need to, OK? Don’t hesitate.’

Hill was the last person he would call if he needed help. He followed the detectives out of the room and then made his way
out of the building. Standing in the middle of the car park, he breathed slowly, deeply, willing the nausea away. Life went
on around him: two teenage boys crossing the road; a truck reversing with shrill beeps; the wind tumbling rubbish in the gutter.
Then he slowly walked to his car and got in. He turned the radio on, found a station playing some pop song, turned up the
volume, and pretended it was the most normal thing in the world to drive away from a police station after your wife had been
implicated in murdering your child.

There was nothing normal about his life any more.

* * *

Ursula heard Jim’s ute pull into the driveway and jumped up from the bed, reaching onto the bedside table for her glasses.
She looked at the bright red numbers on the radio alarm clock. It was after 4 p.m.; she must have fallen asleep after all.
She hurried to the door and opened it as Jim walked up the path. He kissed her.

‘Come on, love, let’s get inside,’ he said.

‘Everything OK?’

‘Yeah. I told Wendy we’d call her later – she looked exhausted. I popped into work, just to check on everything. Did you manage
to have a nap?’

‘A little one.’ She pulled away from him and closed the door.

Jim sighed. ‘Any word from Tony?’

‘No. I don’t know if he’ll come back here or go home. I hate this, not knowing what’s going on, but I can’t keep calling him.’

‘He’ll call us when he’s good and ready. Give him some space to work it all out. Come and sit down, I’ll put the kettle on.’

She followed Jim into the kitchen and let him fill the kettle and put tea bags in the mugs. ‘I just hope he hasn’t gone off
drinking again.’

‘He’ll do the right thing. Give him time.’

‘I am!’ She slumped forward with her elbows on the kitchen bench. ‘I just want to help him, I can’t imagine what he’s going
through.’ She dropped her head into her hands.

Jim put a teaspoon of sugar into one of the mugs, and then slipped his arms around her from behind. He led her through to
the living room and onto the couch, and they held each other.

‘Why us, Jim?’

He shook his head, wiping his eyes. ‘It could have happened to anyone. It’s just bad, terrible luck.’

‘No, it’s not luck, it wasn’t an accident. What the hell happened?’

‘Don’t do this, love. We just have to wait and see. I’ve been going over it too, but it doesn’t help. Maybe she did, maybe
she didn’t. The police are looking into it, and Anna will tell us more when she’s better.’

Ursula sneered. ‘I doubt it!’

Jim pulled her head to his chest and they were both silent. She listened to his heartbeat through his chest. She could feel
the ridges of his ribs and she realised how old they were getting, how frail and fallible they really were. She clung tighter
to him.

After a while, Jim got up and finished making their tea, then brought it back into the living room. He switched on the television
to watch the five o’clock news, then lay down on the couch beside her.

Just as the weather forecast was starting, they heard a car outside. She sprang out of Jim’s arms and sat up straight. The
front door opened, then banged as it slammed shut. She and Jim looked at each other without saying anything. After a moment,
Ursula stood up and walked out into the hallway. Tony was leaning with his back against the door, staring at the ground.

‘Anthony?’ she said quietly.

‘What, Mum?’

‘Are you all right? Can I get you anything?’

‘That’s not what you want to ask, is it?’ He lifted his head and stared at her, his eyes red.

‘What?’

‘You want to know where I’ve been, what I’ve been doing. Well, I’ve been interrogated by the police, who treated me like I’m
covering for a murderer.’

‘Oh, darling.’

Tony blinked and a tear fell down his cheek. ‘What if she did it? What if she killed Jack?’

‘Anthony …’ Ursula stepped forward, but he shook his head and stepped away.

‘Just leave me alone, OK?’ He walked past her, into his old bedroom, and closed the door behind him.

Ursula stayed where she was, with one hand on the wall to prevent herself from falling. She wanted to follow him, but she
couldn’t. She closed her eyes, and when she heard his sobs, quietly moved back to the living room where Jim waited for her.
She leaned into him, and let her own tears fall silently.

Wednesday, 5 August 2009

Later, Anna’s memories of the rest of her labour were hazy. She remembered her fear when the midwife said that her baby was
distressed. She remembered the obstetrician rushing into the room and saying that the child needed to be born straightaway.
She remembered her confusion when Tony disappeared as she was wheeled down the corridor into theatre. She remembered the terror
as they pulled at her abdomen to get the baby out, and how her skin had itched all over and her body had shaken uncontrollably.
And then she remembered the relief when her baby cried, and when they told her it was a boy, and he had all his fingers and
toes, and a face that was crinkled and swollen but sweet and hers.

They named him Jack.

And now she was stuck on the bed in the operating theatre, fighting wave after wave of nausea and terror. They whipped Jack
away from her and she couldn’t see what they were doing. She turned her head as far as she could to see bodies in green hunched
over a little trolley. A nurse came over and told her through a mask that the baby was fine, but he needed some oxygen to
help him breathe. She started to cry. Tony stroked her head but she could see the fear in his eyes too. ‘Go and see what they’re
doing,’ she said, her voice rising.

‘No, I’m staying with you.’

She began to sob. ‘Tony, go and see what’s happening with the baby, please.’

He shook his head and whispered, ‘I can’t. I’m too scared.’

She tried to calm her own tears so that she could listen for the baby’s cries, but all she could hear was the whirring and
pumping and hissing of the machines around her, and the murmurs of the doctors and nurses. Finally, she heard a whimper, a
baby’s whimper, and she started to cry again.

‘I want to see him,’ she said. ‘Let me see him!’ She jammed her arms into the mattress and tried to lift the dead weight of
her abdomen and heavy, anaesthetised legs.

‘Whoa, Anna,’ said the obstetrician. ‘Don’t try to move, I’m still sewing things up down here.’

‘Let me see my baby! What’s happening?’ she said, wrenching her neck to the side again, trying to see through the crowd of
green.

The nurse came back over. She was still wearing a cap and mask, and Anna could only see her brown eyes. She placed a hand
on Anna’s shoulder. ‘Your baby is OK, I promise you; he’s just a bit stunned. We’ll bring him to you as soon as we can.’

She looked up at Tony: he had tears streaming down his face. ‘Tony, for God’s sake, go over there and see him!’ she shouted.
She gnawed on her lip as Tony finally allowed the nurse to lead him over to the baby.

And then, at last, they wheeled the little trolley over to her bed, and she saw her son, all bundled up in a blue blanket.
She reached out and stroked his tiny head. ‘Thank God,’ she said. ‘Thank God.’

But they took Jack away from her again. He had to go to the nursery for monitoring. Tony stood between her and the baby and
hesitated.

‘Go,’ Anna said. ‘Go with him, see what they’re doing, please. Make sure they look after him. He needs one of us with him.’

Tony leaned down and kissed her. She heard him sniff. ‘I’ll go with him, I won’t leave him, I promise. I’ll be back as soon
as I can.’

‘Let me know if anything changes. Please, don’t keep things from me.’

‘I promise.’ He swallowed. ‘Well done – I love you.’ He walked out after the nurse with the baby.

She looked at the stool beside her bed where Tony had been sitting, and then at the table next to it. On it was his mobile
phone, ready to call their parents, and the camera, fully charged with an empty memory card. They hadn’t even taken a photo
of Jack.

Anna closed her eyes and sobbed.