Fourth Down (27 page)

Mom

She didn’t specifically mention her
name, but she might as well have stamped Poppy in big red letters
across the paper. Why didn’t I read this letter months ago? Would
it have changed anything then?

This was one of those moments. Where a
split second decision could change the course of my life. Like when
I made the decision to keep running instead of sliding. I felt like
it was fourth down, only seconds left in the game, and I needed to
make the decision that could be my biggest accomplishment or my
greatest regret.

Ironically, the other thing I had
stuffed in my glove compartment months ago was my contract. Still
unsigned. Coach had asked me about it just last week, and I gave
him my standard reply that I would get it back to him soon. I
pulled it out.

My mom’s letter in my left hand, my
three year coaching contract in my right. Fourth down. What do I
do?

Chapter Nineteen

Poppy

I felt like I should be wearing a
disguise. Maybe a blond wig and big dark sunglasses. Anything to
hide the fact that I was walking into a liquor store on a Wednesday
morning. And I had every intention of buying enough alcohol to get
me through the next three days. Classes were over, and I had my
last final exam last week. My job at the hospital only took up
three to four days a week. I wasn’t on the schedule again until
Saturday, and the thought of having to fill three days was enough
to drive me to drink. Hence my weekday morning trip to the local
liquor store.

It had been three weeks since the
girls had dragged me out after the MCATS, and I had taken it upon
myself to get as drunk as possible. Never mind the fact that I had
barely ever had more than one drink at a time up to that point.
Five vodka and cranberry cocktails had seemed like a good idea. It
certainly did the trick with regards to keeping my mind off Ford.
Even the next day, I was so hungover I couldn’t dwell on anything
other than the fact that I could barely move.

Lindsay, Leah and Brooke had been so
great to me, even though I barely resembled a real person, at times
bordering on being an evil bitch. I still felt bad about the
comment I made to Brooke that night. She brushed off my apology
like it was no big deal, but I could see that it hurt
her.

Words, once spoken, couldn’t ever be
taken back. The same could be said for unspoken words. It had
become a daily obsession lately to wonder if things would be
different if I had told Ford that I loved him. Even if he didn’t
say it back, could I have changed our paths if I had said those
three little words?

I thought losing my dad had made me so
wise. Make sure you tell people how you feel, because you never
know when it will be your last chance. Or some shit like that. When
it came right down to it, standing in my driveway in the freezing
rain, I couldn’t tell Ford how I felt. How much he meant to me. How
absolutely ruined I would be if he left.

The bell over the door dinged as I
entered the store, slipping inside and looking behind me to make
sure nobody saw me. The creepy guy behind the counter had a huge
beer belly, probably an occupational hazard, barely covered by his
stained t-shirt. His hair was thinning and combed over his balding
head in greasy strings.

There were things I liked about living
in a small town, but the lack of liquor stores to choose from was
not one of them. Creepy guy looked up from his magazine, which
appeared to be all about boobs, and I again wished for a disguise.
This time a floor length shapeless mumu as his mud brown eyes
leered at my cleavage bared by the v-neck of my t-shirt and my legs
bared by my cutoff shorts.

“Can I help you find something, Miss?”
His eyes never left my chest while he spoke.

“Um, no thanks. I’m just…browsing,” I
said and quickly scurried down the aisle behind me. What I wanted
to do was run out the door, but I needed to keep my mission in
mind. Vodka. Vodka was my mission. The store was small, so it
didn’t take long to find the vodka section. Holy crap, there were a
lot of different kinds. All different brands and prices. Cheap was
good for my wallet, but did it have as much alcohol as the
expensive stuff? Because it would be a waste of money to buy
something that wouldn’t get me good and drunk.

The door dinged again as I realized
there were flavors too. Ooh, raspberry! Fruity vodka? What more
could I ask for? I picked up a bottle of lower priced raspberry
infused vodka to inspect the alcohol content.

“Don’t get the cheap shit. It’ll make
your hangover even worse,” said a familiar voice from behind
me.

I squealed and bobbled the heavy glass
bottle before grasping it tightly in my hands and whirling around.
My back hit the shelves behind me and there was a moment there when
I thought I might be buying fifty broken bottles of
vodka.

“Easy, Poppy. I didn’t mean to scare
you.”

I managed to set the bottle
back on the shelf with shaky hands. “Aiden! What are you doing
here?” It came out sounding accusatory, like this was
my
liquor store. I mean
come on, it was Wednesday morning. Only creepy guys with greasy
hair and porn magazines or heartbroken young women should be in a
liquor store right now.

“Uh, I’m here to buy some
beer.”

“Oh, right. Sorry, I’m just a little
on edge.”

“Don’t worry about it. Honestly, I’m
surprised to see you here. You weren’t a big drinker in high
school.”

Turning my back on Aiden, I resumed my
vodka inspection. “Well, it was illegal then, Aiden,” I
snapped.

He chuckled behind me and reached
around me to pull a slim cobalt blue bottle from the shelf. “This
is the one.”

I raised my eyebrows at the hefty
price tag. “It is pretty, but I was hoping for something a little
less expensive.”

“Hmmm. Well, what kind of drinking are
you planning today? Girls gone wild? Or are you hanging out with
your boyfriend?”

It took me a minute to figure out he
must have been talking about Ford. Aiden took one look at my face
and back pedaled.

“Oh. Sorry, Poppy. I remember seeing
you with him before, and I just assumed…in that case, you
definitely need this one. My treat.”

“You don’t have to do that Aiden. I’ll
just get the cheap one. If I drink the whole bottle, maybe I won’t
notice it tastes like crap.”

“If you drink the whole bottle, you’ll
be dead.” Aiden slung his arm around my shoulder and steered me
toward the checkout counter. “Come on, I need protection from the
weird dude that works here,” he whispered. An actual giggle escaped
my mouth for the first time in a long time. A very long
time.

While Aiden was paying for the vodka,
my phone buzzed. I pulled it out of my back pocket and saw it was
Leah calling. Debating for a moment, I hit Ignore and put it
away.

“Hey, you didn’t get any beer,” I said
as Aiden handed me the bottle of vodka, which was his only
purchase.

He shrugged. “I thought you might want
some company at your pity party tonight. Or is it starting
earlier?”

Taking the brown paper bag containing
the vodka bottle from him, I said, “It’s starting as soon as I get
home.”

Of course, my piece of shit car was
not working again, so when Aiden noticed his was the only car in
the parking lot, he offered, “You need a ride?”

I took in Aiden standing by his shiny
red Mustang, wearing his polo shirt and cargo shorts. It wasn’t a
big black truck, and his hair was too light and his eyes not blue
enough. Not to mention the fact that the preppy clothes were all
wrong. But…if I was drunk enough, maybe…

Aiden raised an eyebrow, clearly
offering me more than a ride. My phone buzzed against my butt, and
I pulled it out with a sigh. Jeez, can’t I be left alone in peace
to do something that would likely be a huge mistake. It was a text
from Leah.

Leah: Answer your phone,
bitch.

Immediately after I read the lovely
message my phone rang.

“Hello?” I answered as politely as I
could manage.

“Where the hell are you? I know you’re
not working, and Brooke said you weren’t at home,” Leah
interrogated me.

“Um…I’m at the store. What’s your
problem and why are you stalking me?”

“I’m not stalking you. Lindsay’s in
labor.”

“What?!” I screamed, causing Aiden to
walk over with a concerned look on his face.

“They went to the hospital at 5:00
this morning, and she’s pretty close. I thought you might want to
know,” Leah said snottily.

Sighing, I pinched the bridge of my
nose. “I’m sorry, Leah. Of course I want to know. Are you at the
hospital now?”

“Yeah, Maddy and I are here in the
waiting room.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in a few
minutes.”

“Everything okay?” Aiden asked when I
ended the call.

“Oh, yeah. Lindsay is having her baby.
Do you mind giving me a ride to the hospital?”

“Sure, no problem.”

We rode in silence the few blocks to
the hospital. Aiden pulled up under the covered entrance and put
his car in park. Turning toward me, he draped his arm over the back
of my seat.

“Let me know if you need a ride home.
And the offer still stands,” he said, nodding toward the brown bag
in my hands.

Oh, shit. It wasn’t in my plans to
have to take my giant bottle of vodka into the hospital. I briefly
considered leaving it with Aiden, but I would need it later. And I
wasn’t sure yet whether I would be wanting company.

“Okay. Thanks, Aiden.”

Alcohol in hand, I made my way up to
the labor and delivery floor. I hadn’t worked on this floor yet,
but I recognized some of the nurses. I attempted to shove my bottle
in my small purse, but it just wasn’t working.

In the waiting room, I found Leah
sitting on the plastic loveseat with Maddy on the floor in front of
her. At nine months old she was already crawling and right now was
pulling herself up to standing with the help of Leah’s
fingers.

“She’s going to be walking soon,” I
said.

Leah smiled as she looked up at me.
Her smile turned to a smirk when she saw I was wearing the LSU
t-shirt with Ford’s number on it. I wore it every chance I got, but
usually not out in public.

“Nice shirt.”

I rolled my eyes and sank down into a
chair opposite Leah, crossing my arms over my chest. Leah eyed my
contraband.

“What’s in the bag?”

“Nothing,” I grumbled.

“Nothing? Really? Because it’s a brown
paper bag shaped like a giant bottle of some kind of alcohol. It’s
not even lunch time, Poppy.”

“Whatever, Leah. I’ve seen you pour
Bailey’s into your coffee a lot earlier than this.”

Leah laughed and pulled Maddy up onto
her lap. “Touche.”

“So, how’s Lindsay?”

“She’s doing great since she got an
epidural. Grady came out a few minutes ago and said she’s at nine
centimeters. It shouldn’t be long now.”

I smiled wistfully at the image of bad
boy Grady with his long hair and tattoos holding a tiny baby.
Lindsay and Grady had chosen not to find out the sex of the baby
ahead of time, which was driving Leah crazy. She complained all the
time about having to buy gifts in yellow or green.

“Do they want a boy or a girl?” I
asked.

Leah shrugged. “They say they don’t
care, of course. But I think they both secretly want a
girl.”

“Even Grady? Don’t all guys want
sons?”

“Maybe, but I think Grady would love
to have a mini Lindsay running around.”

I sighed and wondered if I would ever
have children. It had never really crossed my mind before. My plans
for medical school and then an internship and residency pushed
thoughts of having a family way far in the future. Would I be ready
by then to move on from Ford? Surely after seven or eight years I
wouldn’t still be buying vodka on Wednesday mornings, would
I?

“I guess today will be full of
surprises,” Leah said with another smirk.

Before I could ask what she meant by
that, I heard the sound of Josh’s voice coming down the hallway
behind the waiting area.

Then I heard it.

A sound I hadn’t heard in months, and
even then it was a rare occurrence.

Ford’s laugh.

I bolted upright and turned around in
my seat. I heard Leah laughing behind me, but nothing could break
my focus on the vacant hallway. Josh spoke again, and then I heard
Ford’s voice. I could hear him talking, but I couldn’t make out the
words.

Did he know I was here? Would he be
happy to see me? Or would it be awkward? My breath was coming in
fast pants, and my heart was threatening to pound out of my chest.
Was I having an anxiety attack? Oh, God. Don’t let me pass
out.

“Breathe, Poppy,” Leah whispered
behind me, putting her hands on my shoulders. “It’s going to be
okay.”