Four Week Fiance 2 (2 page)

“I was just curious.” She sighed too and looked away, her whole body suddenly seeming to fall as if she was accepting some sort of inevitable defeat.

“Nothing in my past matters,” I said honestly. “We shouldn’t dwell on it.”

“I’m not trying to dwell on anything. I just want to know. I just want to feel special,” she said softly, mumbling her words so that I could barely hear her. My ears strained as I tried to concentrate on her words and my heart felt a pang of guilt. I was being selfish with what I was doing. I had to let her down gently. She had to know that this wasn’t about her self-worth. I wanted more for her than this. More than
me
. Me and my fantasies and desires. She deserved better. Even though it killed me to think of her with someone else, smiling at someone else, touching someone else. No, I just couldn’t think of it. When our relationship was over, I’d have to banish her from my life.

“You are special, Mila. You’re the most special woman in the world.” I grabbed her arms and pulled her towards me, holding her so close to me that I could feel her heart beating next to mine.

All of a sudden the EE Cummings poem, “I Carry Your Heart with Me,” popped into my mind.
I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart
, I thought to myself as I closed my eyes and held her to me. I didn’t want to think about what that meant. It was most probably because we’d been friends for years. She’d almost been like my younger sister. Someone to protect from the harsh realities of the world and someone to tease mercilessly.

“Make love to me, TJ,” she whispered up at me urgently. “Make love to me so that we can fly.”

“You want to fly?” I asked her softly.

“If you’re the pilot, then yes.” She looked up at me with an impish smile that tugged on my heartstrings.

“I’ll be your pilot,” I growled and leaned down and kissed her hungrily. She kissed me back eagerly and laughed as I licked her lips. I laughed back at her and I could feel my mood relaxing as I realized our awkward moment was over. The tension was gone from the moment and I could feel the excitement burning through my body again.

“You’re so romantic, TJ, offering to fly me around the world,” she said, teasing me. “Where will you fly me to first? Australia, England, South Africa, or maybe some cute little island in the Maldives?”

“You’d like that too much.” I grinned down at her, feeling light-hearted. “I’ll take you somewhere over the rainbow.”

“Over the rainbow?”

“Yeah, somewhere no one else could ever take you.” I winked at her.

“In a helicopter or a plane?”

“The only aircraft you’ll be riding on is me.” My hands reached down and caressed her breasts. She murmured slightly as my fingers pinched her nipples and my body reacted instantly. “I want you, Mila,” I growled as my lips found her neck and bit down. “Oh, how I want you.”

“Then take me,” she breathed out, her eyelashes fluttering.

“Come,” I said, grabbing her hands and bringing her to the edge of the roof again. “Kneel down again,” I said and watched as she complied easily. I reached down and lifted her skirt up and touched her; she was already wet. Wet in anticipation for me. My body shuddered and I felt myself growing hard as I continued to touch her. “You want to feel me inside of you, don’t you?” I massaged her shivering bud and I felt like a king.
I
had done this to her.
I
had her looking at me like she would die if I stopped touching her.

“Yes,” she cried out as I pushed a finger inside of her. “Please, TJ, please.”

I pulled her back up then and pulled her into my arms, kissing her softly before pulling her chin up to look at me.

“Do everything I say,” I said steadily as she breathed heavily.

“Okay.” She nodded, gazing into my eyes.

“I want you to hold this against yourself,” I said as I handed her the vibrator. “I want you to hold it there and I want you to bring yourself pleasure, but you must not come.”

“Okay,” she said as she took the vibrator from me.

“I’ll be very upset if you come.”

“I mean, that’s not something I can help.” She giggled as she looked up at me.

“You only come for me,” I said. “Your orgasms are for me and my cock.”

“Jealous of a vibrator, TJ?” she said with a slight flush as she glanced at me.

“Jealous isn’t quite the right word.”

“What’s the right word, then?”

“On your knees, Mila,” I said gruffly. I placed my jacket and shirt down on the ground for her to rest on.

“So you just want me to hold it between my legs?” She looked up at me, clueless, and I couldn’t stop myself from laughing.

“Hand it to me,” I said and took the vibrator from her hand. I turned it on and then slapped it between her legs, holding it close to her bud. I moved it back and forth slightly, allowing my fingers to graze her gently.

“Oh my gosh, TJ.” She squealed as she moved forward.

“Yes?” I whispered as I felt her growing wetter and wetter.

“I think I’m going to come.”

“No, you’re not,” I said and held it there. “Not until I’m inside of you.”

“I don’t know what sort of self-restraint you think I have.” She cried out. “But I don’t think I’m going to be able to stop—oh, oh, TJ.” She shuddered suddenly and I froze, wondering if she was going to come. I felt slightly put out. I didn’t want her to come from a little plastic machine. I knew it was stupid of me, but I wanted to feel like only me being inside of her could make her come. I wanted to own her body. I wanted my cock to be her master. The secret to her pleasure.

“I want to feel you inside of me.” She cried out again and looked back at me. “Please, now.”

“Okay.” I grinned and looked down at the pure lust and want on her face. It was enough to make my heart thump harder for a few seconds. She looked beautiful with her hair flying in the wind and her cheeks blushed pink. Her eyes looked dazed and her lips were trembling as she waited for me to take her. I pulled the vibrator away from her and she moaned. “No, baby,” I said softly. “I want to make sure that when you come it’s all because of me.”

“Of course, it’s all because of you.” She cried out and I could hear the desire in her voice as she waited for her release.

“That’s right, baby,” I said, feeling cheesy as I said the words. I wasn’t sure who I was becoming. I wasn’t this man. I didn’t get caught up. I didn’t feel things when having sex. At least, not emotional things. I just fucked for a release. I didn’t need to look into the woman’s eyes, didn’t care about wanting to see that look of pleasure and devotion in her stare as she came crashing down from her high. In fact, I hated it when a woman looked at me with anything other than lust. I didn’t want her to feel that there was any sort of involvement aside from the sex. Because there wasn’t.

That was different with Mila, though. I didn’t know why. I didn’t want to think about it too hard. She was just someone who’d been in my life for a long time and that was why it affected me differently. She was an innocent, not used to the games of men. I was going slowly, treading carefully because I cared about her feelings. I was still a bastard, though. If I weren’t, I never would have taken her in the first place.

“Close your eyes,” I said as I dropped down to my knees and pulled my pants down. My hands slid up in front of her and grabbed her breasts and pinched her nipples as I positioned her in front of me. My right hand fell from her breast and I guided my hardness inside of her. I could feel her quivering on me and it only made me grow harder. To know I had this power over her . . . that I could make her body come for me . . . that I could make her want me more than she’d ever wanted anything before. This was power. This was greatness.

“TJ,” she screamed out as I pounded into her, hard, leaving nothing to chance. I slid in and out of her, guiding my cock as if commanding a great naval fleet. I stared out at the night sky as I felt her coming hard, screaming out my name, and as I felt myself withdraw from her and spurt onto the roof, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of guilt, with my pride. This wasn’t what it was about. This wasn’t a moment to be proud of, though I couldn’t stop myself from grinning down at her as she beamed up at me. My lips were smiling, but my eyes and heart felt dead. I had no idea what I was doing here, to her. All I knew was that I was in over my head.

“W
hich one?” I held up two dresses to Sally and frowned as she looked at them with an unimpressed expression on her face. “Too dowdy?”

“Not if you’re going to Sunday school,” she said, even-faced. “And you’re teaching it. And you’re the priest’s wife.”

“Ha ha, very funny.” I rolled my eyes at her. “I don’t know what to wear. This is the first time I’ll be meeting the board of directors and the major shareholders. I don’t want to let TJ down.”

“I thought you met them already?”

“I met the board of directors, but not the shareholders as well.” I sighed. “This is the first really, really important party. I’ll be left alone. People will be asking me questions, judging me.” I made a face. “I just don’t want to let TJ down.”

“Ask me if I care if you let TJ down.” She pursed her lips and then smiled, a slow, totally innocent-looking smile. “I will help you pick a dress though.”

“Hmm, what’s the catch?” I narrowed my eyes as I gazed at her devious-looking face.

“What catch?” She grinned.

“Well, why are you so eager to help if you think TJ is a douchebag?”

“Just because I think he’s a douche, doesn’t mean you do.” She shrugged. “Plus, I want you to look so sexy tonight that he’s not going to want to keep his hands off of you, but he’ll have to because this is a party with business associates.”

“You’re totally devious.” I laughed at her. “But I like it. However, it can’t be too sexy. Nothing that says I’m a hooker or a high-class escort.”

“What about low-class escort?”

“Sally.” I glared at her.

“Just joking.” She giggled and headed to my closet. “Okay, let me see what you have in here.” She rifled through my dresses and then looked at me. “I don’t suppose he’ll give you a credit card for a new dress?”

“He already gave me one.” I made a face and sighed. “My wardrobe sucks, doesn’t it?”

“He offered you a credit card?” Sally’s eyes lit up. “To buy whatever you want?”

“I guess.” I shrugged. “I didn’t take it.”

“You didn’t take it?” Her eyes widened. “What are you? Dumb?”

“No, I already told you I don’t want to give anyone any reason to think I’m a paid escort or whore.”

“Who is ‘anyone’, Mila?” Sally shook her head. “Get that card and let’s go shopping.”

“Sally,” I groaned.

“What?” She pulled out a flowery sundress. “Do you want to wear this or your slutty black Lycra dress that you got for the clubs?”

“Neither,” I sighed.

“Exactly.” She hung the dress back up. “You don’t have a wardrobe for expensive dinners with millionaires. And tonight you need a dress that’s going to wow the socks off of him. Tonight you have to give TJ a taste of his own medicine.”

“Thanks.”

“I don’t have one either.” She shrugged and then looked away. “And I most probably will never need one, either.”

“Why not?” I said in my perfunctory way, though I already knew the answer would have something to do with her not having a boyfriend.

“Because I’ll never be invited to those dinners,” she said sorrowfully.

“Why not?” I asked and then continued. “Is it because you’re going to be single forever?”

“Mila!” She glared at me.

“What?” I reached over and touched her shoulder. “You’re not going to be single forever because my brother is a whore.”

“How is he, by the way?” she asked softly, her eyes searching mine. I wasn’t sure how to answer. Did I tell her that Cody had asked me about her twice now? Did I tell her that a part of me had a feeling that maybe Cody did like her, possibly? I didn’t know what to do. She was my best friend, and as much as I wanted to make this better, I didn’t know what to do or say. I loved her like a sister and I didn’t want my brother to be the one to ruin our friendship forever, if he turned out to not like her or to like her and then cheat on her or something else crazy like that.

“I’m not sure.” I shrugged and gave her a wry smile. “He’s not really talking to me.” I rolled my eyes.

“Why?” She looked at me with an expression of hope, as if she hoped that his reason for being so cold to me was due to the fact that she was my best friend and he wanted her.

“He said and I quote, ‘you scarred me by sleeping with TJ. I’m not sure how I didn’t lose it and rip you out of the bed, but I think shock stopped me. You should be thanking your lucky stars.’ Ugh.” I made a face at her. “He needs to just get over it.”

“That is a big thing for him to witness, though.” Sally laughed. “I mean, it’s not every day you see your little sister boinking your best friend.”

“True, ha-ha.” I sighed. “I sure don’t want to see
him
boinking anyone.”

“Not even your best friend?” Sally gave me a look and laughed slightly. She ran her hands through her hair and then sighed. “Why is this such a mess? I wish I could just not like him. I don’t want to feel this way.”

“I’m sorry.” I reached my arms out to her. “I hate that you’re feeling this way.”

“It’s fine.” She made a face as I gave her a quick hug. “It’s just what I get for falling for a guy who has never shown any interest in me.”

“He has shown an interest.” I stumbled over my words, trying to find a balance in telling my friend that she wasn’t a fool, but not wanting to lead her on to thinking that he was interested. “But he’s a player. I don’t know how he’s getting women because he sucks, but he’s just not the ‘settling down’ type.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” Sally’s voice caught and I leaned back and looked into her eyes.

“You okay?” I asked, concerned by the tone in her voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She gave me a big smile, but I could see her eyes were still sad and looked wet.

“Oh, Sally.” I stared at her. “You’re not okay.”

“I’m fine,” she said, her lips trembling as she looked at me. “I feel like a fool, Mila.”