Four Summers (4 page)

The next day, Sadie Ann doesn’t stay in the store. She’s outside with the rest of us, working in the sun. And when there isn’t work to do, she’s still out here, which I guess isn’t as unusual as her breaking a sweat for The Village. She suntans by the water, and again, that isn’t anything new. She does it every summer, but it feels different right now because I know she’s hoping to see Brandon. It shouldn’t bother me, but no matter how hard I try I can’t stop the anger from glaring daggers every time I look at my sister.

“What’d Sadie do? You’ve been giving her the evil eye all morning.” Alec says. Leave it to him to notice.

“Nothing.” I walk over to the dock, which isn’t too far from Sadie, and sit down. Alec sits beside me.

“What do you wanna do today?” he asks.

We spend a lot of time working, but it’s not like that’s all we do. Lots of the guests are pretty much on their own and don’t need us often. There are boat rentals and sometimes people want us to take them on a tour, but usually they’re good to go by themselves. It isn’t like I don’t have any free time here, even though it never really feels free. I’m still always inside the cage of this town. Of my life. “I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

Alec shrugs, pushing his blond hair out of his eyes. As he does, I see something in his expression change. He’s looking over my shoulder. While I turn to see what it is, he says, “Looks like Sadie found a way to keep herself busy this summer.”

My stomach sinks as I see her smiling up at Brandon. He’s standing beside her and she’s holding her hand over her eyes to block the sun, a huge smile on her face. Her red bikini looks perfect against her golden skin. Especially when you count the boobs she has holding them up. The bumps under my tank top aren’t even a quarter of hers and she’s only a year older than me. I dust off my shorts like it matters.

A movement behind Brandon catches my eye and I notice Nathaniel standing there. He has a Yankees hat on, that I watch him turn around and wear backward, with cargo shorts and a white t-shirt. He gives me that nod that boys do, slightly lifting his head and sends a partial smile in my direction.

“You know him?” Alec’s voice has a strange sound to it.

“No,” I shake my head, but I’m still looking at Nathaniel. “I ran into him, but I don’t know him.” Which I guess is really what Alec is asking. Nathaniel hasn’t been here long. It’s not like I can really know him.

Brandon sits down next to Sadie and Nathaniel nods his head again, this time calling me over. Well, me and Alec over, I mean.

My heart darts through my chest like a shooting star. He steps closer to his brother and Sadie before sitting down, too. His feet are flat on the ground, his knees up with his arms resting on them. He looks so relaxed. So comfortable. I find it hard to breathe.

Which makes no sense. I don’t know this boy. But he’s different. I see it and feel it and that calls to something deep inside me that I don’t understand. But I want to. Being here at The Village, I know everything. I always have. Nothing is ever new, no matter who comes and goes. Alec and I will probably always be best friends. We’ll probably grow up and get married like Mom and Dad because they were best friends.

Sadie will leave. Mom will wish she could. Dad will grow old and Alec and I will take over. It’s written in the stars. Probably our destiny and I suddenly want to cry.

I stumble forward at the nudge to my back.

“Oh crap. I’m sorry, Charlie. I didn’t realize you weren’t paying attention.” My eyes find Alec to see he’s not looking straight at me. He's glancing back and forth between the group of three sitting down and me.

“It’s fine.” I fight the embarrassed heat I feel pushing to the surface. Alec grabs hold of my arm, as though he’s trying to steady me, despite the fact that I’m not falling. I wait for him to let go, but he doesn’t.

It’s awkward having Alec hold me like this in front of the others. It’s not like he’s never touched me before, but part of me wants to slip out of his grasp. Then I feel like a horrible person for it, so I don’t.

We walk over to the group and Sadie looks up at me. “Hey, Charlie! Hey, Alec.” The fake sweetness in her voice makes me want to throw up.

“Hey.” When I sit down, Alec’s hand comes off my arm. I nod to Sadie Ann, then Alec, Brandon, and Nathaniel.

“What do you guys usually do for fun around here?” Brandon asks. His voice is totally different from Nathaniel’s. Not deeper, but maybe a little rougher. He almost sounds like my grandma who smoked sixty-five years of her eighty. Okay, maybe it’s not that bad. Maybe I just want to find something bad about him so Sadie won’t want to get close to Brandon or Nathaniel.

“What do you do?” Alec replies with a strange kind of tightness in his voice.

Brandon shrugs. “Whatever.”

Alec’s eyes dart down. I try to keep looking at him. Or to look at Sadie, or even Brandon, but I can’t stop from peeking over at Nathaniel. He smiles and shakes his head as though he thinks they’re all being ridiculous. It’s impossible not to smile back at him.

Sadie speaks up. “You should let me show you around Lakeland Village. There’s not a lot to do, but it would get us away from here for a little while.” The way she looks at Brandon, it’s as though the rest of us aren’t sitting there. She looks confident and beautiful and a mixture of jealousy and pride blends inside me. I never thought I would look at Sadie and feel pride like that, but I do. I wish I could look at a boy I liked and feel that confident.

“Sure. That would be cool. You guys wanna take off?” Brandon looks at Alec and I, then at Nathaniel. “I know you do.”

Sadie’s confidence looks a little dinged. “Charlie and Alec hardly leave The Village if they don’t have to. I’m sure they don’t want go.”

“I’ll go,” shoots out of my mouth, unplanned. “I mean…”

“You should go.” Nathaniel replies. “We’ll all go. But my douchebag brother failed his driver’s test, so hopefully one of you can drive.”

“Screw you. At least I’m old enough to take it.” At that both Brandon and Nathaniel push to their feet. They play around with each other; pushing and fake punching and I can’t help but watch them. Maybe boys are the same everywhere. Right now I don’t see anything different in the way they act and Alec. Except when it’s Alec, it’s me he’s goofing around with.

I fidget in the backseat, sandwiched between Alec and Nathaniel. Sadie Ann is driving and of course, Brandon is sitting in the front with her.

Dad about had a fit when we told him we were leaving. All it took was Sadie pouting out her bottom lip and he was a goner, though. He was happy the two of us are hanging out, apparently. I didn’t tell him Sadie would rather I stay home.

I shift again, uncomfortable in the too-tight shirt Sadie made me wear. I don’t know why she cares what I have on anyway.

“You okay over there?” Nathaniel asks. “You’re squirming around like you’re about to jump out of your skin. You’re not about to go all Incredible Hulk on me or anything, are you?”

His comment stings. “No!” leaps out of my mouth, with a harsh edge to it.

“She doesn’t usually dress like that. She’s uncomfortable,” Alec grits out. I want to thank him for sticking up for me and bury myself in a hole at the same time. Nice of him to out me like that.

“I was kidding, man.” Nathaniel leans closer to me. “You know I’m kidding right, Charlotte?”

The car goes deathly quiet at the name. No one calls me Charlotte. Sadie laughs while Alec gives me a strange look, but Nathaniel doesn’t seem to notice or care.

“Yeah. It’s cool,” I tell him. We pull into a parking lot in town. I’m thankful that we’re here so I can get out of the car. Alec gets out first and I stumble out behind him. It’s a bright, sunny day like it always is in the summer. Sadie is smiling as she slips on her sunglasses.

Alec cocks his head at me. I can see the wheels turning in his head as he tries to figure out what’s going on with me. The truth of the matter is, I don’t know. I wouldn’t even know what to tell him. It’s not just about the summer boy…it’s everything.

“There’s not a ton to do, but we can show you guys a few places,” Sadie tells Brandon.

“Sure. Sounds cool,” he replies.

“Charlie, if you guys wanna take off by yourselves and meet up with us later, that’s cool. I know you’re more comfortable around just Alec anyway.”

Dude. I’m going to kill her.

“If you wanted to get Brandon alone, you just had to ask,” I shoot right back at her. I’m used to taking crap from a lot of people, but most of the time, I don’t take it from my sister.

For the first time in forever, she blushes. Alec laughs and I hear Nathaniel mumble a “well played.”

“I have to keep this twerp with me anyway. My folks made me promise.” Brandon tries to flip Nathaniel’s hat off, but he dodges him.

“I was just being nice. I don’t mind if we all hang out.” Sadie’s smile is forced and I feel a little guilty for embarrassing her.

Brandon and Sadie walk in front of Nathaniel, Alec and I. One of the boys flanks either side of me and it’s impossible not to accidentally bump against them. Alec here, Nathaniel there. A brush of an arm, the touch of a hand.

We show them a few of the shops. There’s this ridiculous Lakeland Village Museum, which is really nothing more than an old, white house stuffed with Lakeland Village history. The boys walk through like they care and Alec and I pretend we haven’t seen it all a million times before. It was our first field trip in Kindergarten, then again in third grade.

We go to the ice cream shop where Brandon buys Sadie ice cream. Nathaniel turns to me and says, “What do you guys want?” And as stupid as it is, it makes me swoon a little. A boy has never offered to buy me ice cream before.

“It’s cool. You don’t have buy it,” Alec replies just as I opened my mouth to answer. “You want your usual, Charlie?”

Nathaniel shrugs like it isn’t a big deal and steps forward to order his ice cream. I try not to let it bother me, and nod at Alec.

We sit at the little tables with ice creams painted on them. One of the girls in Sadie’s grade did it. She’s planning on leaving Lakeland Village as soon as she graduates to pursue art school, and I envy her that.

Soon, we’re all piled in the car again and heading back home. I’m stuck between the two boys again and I’m kind of bummed I can’t make myself enjoy it. They’re both cute, super cute, but Alec is my best friend and Nathaniel’s only here for the summer.

“Anyone around here play ball?” Brandon looks toward the backseat. I actually feel Alec’s body go haywire.

“Football?” Alec asks, excitement in his voice. And I know, as much as he didn’t want to like these two boys, he’s just found a new best friend.

“Is there any other kind?” Brandon asks.

“Baseball. Anyone can tackle someone else,” Nathaniel says from beside me.

Brandon and Alec start rambling about teams and the next season and blah blah. It’s not that I don’t like to play around. We get together and have tons of games. It’s fun. Alec always picks me for his team and most of the other girls sit around watching, but I don’t care. I like being involved. But it’s different liking to play sometimes and being in love with it.

Alec is in love.

I wish he would try to leave this town one day to play somewhere.

“You want to get a game together when we get back?” Alec asks.

Brandon’s eyes glow with excitement. “Really?”

“Yeah. I’ll call a few people.”

Sadie Ann has a cell phone, but I don’t. “You’re only fifteen, Charlie Rae. You don’t need one,” Mom told me when Sadie got hers. I don’t really care. It’s not that I would call anyone but Alec anyway.

Alec pulls his out and starts texting a few people. Since he gets paid for helping out at The Village, he actually has money sometimes.

“You going to watch us play?” Brandon asks Sadie.

“Sure. I guess.” Even thought her words sound nonchalant, I can tell she’s happy he asked her.

“You’re down to play, right, Charlie?” This from Alec. He would never ask me to watch. He knows better than that.

“Yeah. Sounds cool.”

“You play?” Nathaniel asks, but it doesn’t sound like he’s making fun, just curious.

“Yeah, sometimes.”

“All the time is more like it,” Sadie says. “She likes playing with the boys.”

I hate it when she says things like that. It makes my gut twitch, but part of me doesn’t blame her. It’s true and I don’t think she’s always trying to be mean. She just doesn’t get me, and she likes to make sure everyone knows that.

“Cool,” Nathaniel replies.

“Her and I are awesome together. We kick ass out there,” Alec says.

No one replies to that. We pull up back at home and turn off the car. Everyone piles out. My insides don’t know if they’re excited to play, to hang out with Alec and the people we know. To do something comfortable, or if I’m freaked out because being around Nathaniel seems to make me that way.

“You ready?” Alec asks, but he’s not looking at me. He’s looking at Brandon.

“You know it.” Brandon grins.

“Charlie Rae! Thank God you’re back. I’m going to need your help a little bit, kiddo!” Dad calls from his perch by one of the boats.