Four Friends (38 page)

“God, oh, God,” she whispered hoarsely. She’d never been quiet—never quiet, not in general or during sex. It made him smile. “God,” she said again, her pelvis rocking toward him.

“You going to let me in?” he asked in a whisper.

“I don’t know,” she said. But she did know. She devoured his mouth wildly, hanging on to him as if she feared losing him.

With both hands on her butt, he lifted her just enough to make entry, slowly, carefully. They might as well have been back fifteen years in time. She guided him in easily and he pulled her other leg up. And then he rocked his hips against her, pushing her against the door, making her moan and grab him even more desperately. She held on around his neck while he held her clear of the floor. And with each thrust she moaned and clung to him.

Phil thought the beauty of a long marriage was knowing what your woman likes. He held her against him, legs around his hips, and backed toward the bed, falling with her onto the rumpled coverlet and scattered newspapers, leaving her on top. She liked being on top; she liked the control. Gerri immediately pushed him back onto the mess of papers and leaned down to his mouth, which he took hungrily, his hands all over her. “I love you,” he whispered. “I love you so much.”

“Sometimes you make me so mad,” she whispered back, kissing him deeply, passionately.

He laughed low in his throat, not giving up her lips. His hands ran down to her butt, grabbing her, hanging on while she moved on him. “Do your worst. You hate me as hard as you want,” he said. She moaned, grabbed his lower lip between hers and rocked on him with a vengeance. She held his head in both hands, holding his mouth against hers and then it happened fast. She felt as if she’d burst into flames, exploded from within, drowning him with wet spasms so hot and powerful he gasped and just held on for dear life. She put her hands on his shoulders and arched her back, making a noise that was at once sheer pleasure and profound relief.

Phil seized the moment, pumped his hips a few times and joined her, pulsing into physical exhaustion. And when she crumpled against him, he put his arms around her and held her close, tenderly, gratefully, waiting for their rapid breathing to slow, their heart rates to return to normal. Her head rested against his shoulder. His hands gently stroked her back. He had only one thought.
That was so sweet—please, God, no more fighting, please.

Gerri was spent. It was as though her bones had turned fluid. She was limp, satisfied, completely subdued. After a few moments of recovery, she gently rolled away from him, lying atop the collection of newspapers. She put the back of her hand against her forehead. “Phew. I wasn’t prepared for that! That was bizarre.”

“That’s not the word I would have used,” Phil said, his voice reflecting the weakness of postcoital bliss.

She laughed. “Just out of curiosity, give me a word.”

“How about
awesome?
Can we go with
awesome?
”

She turned onto her side, propped herself up on an elbow, and looked at him. “Did you have that kind of sex with
her?
”

“Gerri, I haven’t had that kind of sex with anyone. Including
you!
You bit me, you used me, you screwed my brains out. I was terrified of what you were going to do when you had your hand around me. You went completely wild. Out of your mind.”

“Aw,” she said, smiling at him. “I’m so sorry. I won’t let that happen again.”

He stroked her arm. “It’s okay, baby. You want to hate me some more? I can live with that.”

“You really screwed up, Phil. Even your mother thinks so.”

He shook his head. “My mother. Why did you have to tell her? I’ve never before wished for a fatal heart attack.”

“Do you really love me?”

“Baby, I love you so much. I’ve missed you so much. It’s been torture, having you hate me. Except of course, today.” He grinned at her. Then he became serious. “Gerri, I want to come home. I’ll do whatever you want. I won’t run for D.A. I’ll tell everyone it’s my decision and has nothing to do with you.”

“Of course you’ll run,” she said. “I’ve been working toward this for as long as you have. I’ve listened to a million closing arguments. We’ve worked for this together, we’ll run together.”

“I don’t want you to feel pushed into this.”

“Just how expensive is this guesthouse?” she asked.

“Too expensive. Why?”

She shrugged. “Maybe we should keep it.” Then she grinned. “Nice little hideaway for Sunday mornings. And other times.”

“We could get a sailboat for about the same price.”

“Can you do other things on a sailboat besides...sail?”

“Oh, yeah. Are you letting me come home?”

“I need time to think clearly. I think I should see my gynecologist. I think she might’ve given me an overdose.”

“The hormones? Could your health be compromised?” he asked.

“I think I should at least ask— I haven’t acted like that since I was thirty-five. God, how awful.” She flopped on her back.

“Not awful,” he said. “If there’s no danger to your health, don’t be hasty. We can work with this,” he said with a grin.

“Here I am, barely out of bed, looking like the wrath of God, and—”

“You’re beautiful.” He turned on his side and raised himself up, looking down at her. “You’ve never known that about yourself. You’re beautiful. And you weren’t wearing underwear.”

“Um...I was in a hurry. I read that op-ed piece and just saw red—it took me completely by surprise. How the heck did this happen?”

“Who cares?” Phil said. Then he sobered. “But I’m not having any more affairs. I hope to God that didn’t light a fire under you. Because I’m not...”

“Okay, give it a rest. I believe you. I’m going to watch you, though.”

“Fine. Watch.” He ran a finger around her hairline. “Your hair is all goofy.”

“That’s very complimentary, Phil.”

“I love it goofy.” His hand dropped and fell to her naked breast. “Let me come home. Please.”

Gerri took a deep breath. “It’s Sunday. How about Friday night? Then we’ll have the weekend to talk to the kids, give them a chance to absorb another change, let them ask questions, you know. We’re going to have to explain the election. Tell your committee that we’ll announce in a week, once your family is on board.”

“Are we back together? Are we okay now?” he asked.

“Almost, Phil,” she said, getting off the bed. “We’re going to have to make some adjustments—but I think we can work on things under the same roof. At least I believe we can make it now. And I started thinking that before this morning, but...” She stopped talking and started to laugh. She picked up a section of newspaper and showed it to him. “Oh, dear. Look at this. I left a little mess on Carter’s face. Do you think that’s an omen?”

fourteen

GERRI TOOK A sick day from work—something she did as rarely as possible. It was more than just her work ethic, though no one worked harder. It was about her clients, those she was charged to serve. If she was using a work day for her own personal needs, it could mean someone wasn’t getting all she had to give.

But today she had no choice. She couldn’t allow Phil to come back home until she took care of a few things. She knew she wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye and lie. She had to keep a secret from him, and she was achingly aware of the hypocrisy, since she’d been so angry that he’d withheld something important from her. But this was about saving her marriage and protecting her family. Elections were brutal. If her marriage was going to survive it, if her children were going to be safe through it, she had some behind-the-scenes work to do. Work that Phil wouldn’t approve of.

The first task involved Kelly, Phil’s administrative assistant and the woman who had delivered the news that had separated them for over three months.

When she entered Phil’s office building in San Francisco for the first time since that fateful day, she suddenly felt her chest swell with pride. She hadn’t expected that—but there it was. Her husband was going to be the new D.A. And she had helped him all along the way. Oh, she was hardly the woman behind the man—she was the woman beside the man. She had listened to almost every opening and closing argument he’d ever prepared. She critiqued him ruthlessly, and he listened raptly, taking her advice. She counseled him on dealing with juvenile victims and defendants, and he’d have been lost without her. She was as much his professional partner as his marital partner.

She rode the elevator up to the eleventh floor to Phil’s office, but she glanced at the button for the sixteenth. She knew it had a view of the bay, Alcatraz and the Golden Gate Bridge—it would be Phil’s office soon. She was certain.

When she got off the elevator, there was the usual bustle of people scurrying around. A young associate glanced up and recognized her. “Morning, Mrs. Gilbert,” he said very quickly before moving down the hall.

When she approached Phil’s office, the receptionist perked up. “Morning, Mrs. Gilbert. Mr. Gilbert is in court this morning.”

“I know, Cathy. I thought I’d say hello to Kelly since I’m in the building,” Gerri said with a smile.

“Oh. Sure,” Cathy said.

Gerri pushed open the door and entered an austere but elegant outer office. Kelly was facing her computer screen and glanced up at Gerri. She actually jumped in surprise. Then she quickly collected herself. “Gerri,” she said cheerfully. “What a surprise. Phil’s in court this morning...”

“I know,” Gerri said. “I thought maybe you and I could have a minute. Or ten,” she amended. Then she shrugged, smiled. “Maybe fifteen?”

“Sure,” Kelly said a little nervously. “Of course. How have you been?”

“Separated,” Gerri said. “And angry! Oh, you have no idea how angry I was with Phil. But I think I’ve moved past most of that now.”

“Gerri, I...”

“You and I—we might have one or two little shit piles to clean up. But let me start by saying you didn’t do anything wrong so I won’t accept your guilt or remorse. Are we clear on that?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Kelly nearly whimpered, dropping her gaze.

“Ma’am? Oh, Jesus, this might take longer than fifteen minutes if you’re going to play the subordinate here,” Gerri said. Kelly looked up and saw that Gerri had a smile on her face and looked at her with kind eyes.

“So,” Kelly said. “You’ve been angry, huh?”

“It’s been a rocky ride, Kelly. But we’re getting back together.”

Gerri watched as Kelly let out her breath in obvious relief. “I wanted to call you,” Kelly said. “I wanted to call you so badly to apologize. I feel like I did this to you! But Phil said it would be a mistake.”

“It would’ve been a mistake,” Gerri agreed with a nod. “There was a lot of information to process, and before you get all paranoid—it wasn’t information about your role. In fact, your part in all of it was minor and not even relevant in the big picture.”

“Still...I’m so sorry. I got all the wrong signals.”

“I can see how that could happen. I’m so flip sometimes. I make smart-ass comments, shoot for humor and miss, try to seem like one of the girls, a regular person with all the typical marital stuff going on—because I
am.
But you had no way to know what I really meant. You weren’t in a good spot to understand.”

“That’s really generous of you to say.”

“Kelly, are you and John okay? Did you get anything resolved?”

“Yes, ma—” She stopped herself. “Yes. He thought he was going to get laid off, but didn’t want to tell me. He was busy putting out feelers for jobs, thus the dressing up for work. When I pushed him to go to counseling, he told me everything. The layoff didn’t come—it was an unfortunate number of other people.”

“Phew,” Gerri said. “I’m sorry about the other people, glad John’s okay. Things are better now?”

“Well, it’s been stressful during the downsizing, but he’s talking to me again and relying on me like he used to. I’m not worried anymore, just sorry for him that he has to go through it. But—we have my job, my benefits. We sat down and figured out how things would be all right even in the worst case. And we don’t have to deal with the worst-case scenario right now, so we’re better than we were.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“So, you and Phil?” she asked.

“It’s been a revelation,” Gerri said. “Things have been coming out that we put on the back burner for years, thinking they were unimportant concerns or we’d figure them out later. We both had our issues. But there’s one thing that seems to supersede all the crap—we’re a very good team. In all ways. That’s very nice to know. Comforting.”

Kelly smiled. “You are a great team.”

“He’s going to move home this weekend. Has he said anything to you?”

She shook her head. “He’s very private. I didn’t know you were separated for about a month.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.” Gerri laughed. “Well, are we okay? You and me? Because I don’t want you worrying about it. And for God’s sake, I can’t have you calling me ma’am! I feel old enough!”

“You’re not old,” Kelly said. “You’re perfect. I think everyone wants to be like you.”

“Please,” Gerri said. “No sucking up. You’re completely free and clear.”

“I’m not sucking up! I’m telling the truth! You’re one of the most admired women I know!”

“Okay,” Gerri said, waving her off. “Thanks for that. But there’s one thing I need your help with. The future of my marriage depends on it. I’m counting on you, Kelly. As my friend, as a woman, as my husband’s closest confidant.”

Kelly leaned toward her. “What?” she asked with a posture and expression that said she’d do anything.

“I need to know who she is and where she is.”

Kelly sat back looking paralyzed with terror. It took her a long time to find her voice. Then she shook her head. “You realize that he never told anyone? That people suspected because they got along so well, but no one knew for sure? Even I didn’t know! I guessed!”

“Yes, you did
know,
” Gerri said with a smile. “Maybe you didn’t know because of Phil—but you knew because of her.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because I’m a genius.” Gerri laughed. “Because I read
Cosmopolitan
in the bathroom. She would need an ally. Who else would she choose? You take care of his professional life and she was a professional acquaintance. Oh, God,” Gerri said, feigning shock. “She wasn’t a hooker was she?”