“Before you say it, I’m not going.”
“Come on, Becca, you have to go,” she says, tugging on my arm like a child.
“No.”
“But we can’t go if you don’t.”
“Yeah, you can. Katie’s nice, she won’t care.”
Erica glances over at Sam in despair who just shrugs. “She wants us to talk you into going. I kinda think we’re invited only if you show up,” Sam explains. I shake my head in annoyance. “Oh and Ryan also mentioned Jake’s party to us. He came over too. I think he’s invited most of our grade. Lunch was pretty eventful,” she says smiling as Erica positively beams.
“You should have seen everyone’s faces!” she tells me animatedly. “Katie and Ryan both came over at the same time. I thought Paige and Amy were gonna have heart attacks. Ryan is so hot.”
I start to laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Please, Becca,” Erica begs. “I cannot miss Katie’s party or Jake’s. I really need to go and I really want to see Mason.”
“Mason?” I ask in surprise. “I thought you were into Matthew Smithy?”
“Well, yeah, but Mason is like top five percent popular in this school.”
I grin. “You really are a social climbing whore bag, you know that?”
She smirks back. “I know.”
“Well, if you want to go popular, you might as well just go all out and go for Ryan.”
She snorts. “Oh come on, I’m ambitious, not delusional.” A sly look crosses her face. “Besides from what I’ve heard there’s only one person—”
“Stop!” I interrupt her. “I am so sick of hearing about Ryan Jackson! I don’t care who his latest hook up is.”
She shrugs. “Y’know, Becca, I don’t know what your problem is with him. He’s actually a really nice guy.”
I whirl on her. What is going on here? She’s my friend, not his. She’s probably only had two conversations with the guy her whole life. “You don’t know him, Erica. I do.” I pause, flustered. “I mean, I did.” I look over at Sam. “Look you didn’t go to our middle school. We were friends, okay? Best friends. We were always together, and then one day he just decided I was too much of a loser for him to be seen with and dropped me. That was it. He was this cool, popular guy now and was too good to be seen with me. Then when I was a freshman? He treated me like shit and let Billy Jameson bet on taking my virginity!”
I take a deep breath following my outburst. I can feel my neck getting warm and for some reason, I can feel tears building in my eyes. What is wrong with me? Thinking about that day back in middle school always riles me and makes me annoyed but never upset. I guess it’s because it feels like I constantly have to defend myself where Ryan’s concerned these days. I’m so over it.
“That’s right, isn’t it, Sam?” I say turning to her for clarification. She’s watching me carefully, like she thinks there’s more to what I’m saying.
She nods slightly in Erica’s direction. “Yeah, he was a jerk.”
“Still think he’s a nice guy?” I demand.
Erica is looking at me in sympathy now, which is annoying me even further. “Maybe he’s changed?”
“I don’t care,” I insist. “I’ve barely spoken to him in years, and now he’s everywhere I turn.”
“Okay, I’ll drop it. But think about this party, okay? I had no idea you were so in with that crowd. You are my key to popularity and you would be a very bad friend if you didn’t help me out.”
I roll my eyes in annoyance. How on earth am I her key to her popularity? I’m friends with Jake—that’s it. And she already knew that, but I don’t say anything else. I don’t want to set her off again.
“Becca!” I turn around and try to stop from sighing when I see Jake walking toward me. I really could do without this right now. “Hey, guys,” he says as he approaches.
Erica’s face lights up. “Hey, Jake!” she says enthusiastically. He frowns slightly at her, clearly surprised at how happy she looks.
I sigh. “She wants to hook up with Mason,” I explain. “Can you help?”
Erica looks mortified, but Jake just shrugs. “Sure, just come over next time I’m with him,” he says. Erica goes from mortified to delighted and opens her mouth to say something when Jake jumps in. “I need to talk to you,” he says directly to me.
Sam takes the hint and drags Erica away, leaving me with Jake.
“Unless this is about how you can help me get my grade up in Science, I don’t care,” I say, turning to face him.
He smiles at me. “You’ve been avoiding me,” he states matter-of-factly.
I sigh. “It’s not you,” I mutter.
“You’re avoiding Ryan.”
I look away before turning back to him and nodding in agreement. “I don’t know what it is lately, he just seems to be everywhere. I don’t know why we can’t go back to just not speaking like before.”
“Come on, Becca. You wouldn’t want that.”
“He can’t keep bitching about Charlie. It’s not fair. It’s got nothing to do with him.”
“I know. I’ve told him. It’s only because he cares.”
I scoff in disbelief.
“I know he hates fighting with you, Becca.”
“Well, he does a pretty good job of hiding it.”
“You guys need to talk.”
“No, we don’t! Honestly, I need to
not
talk to him, that’s what I need to do.”
“You guys were so close.”
“Oh for God’s sake, Jake. That was years ago and you know what he did! You were there! He became too good for me. I was too much of a loser and he ditched me and let Billy Jameson bet on me.”
“I’ve told you a million times that he had nothing to do with that.”
“He still ditched me because he was too good to be seen with me.”
“Tell me you don’t actually believe that, Becca. From what I can see, it’s always Ryan that’s trying to initiate conversation with you, and I know for a fact he couldn’t give a damn who sees you with him.” I’m about to retaliate but realize he’s actually right. Ryan is the one who talks to me lately and tries to draw me into conversation, regardless of who’s there. In fact, sometimes I’ve even got the impression that he’d rather be talking to me than some of his other friends.
No.
I’m not going to let myself become friends with him again. I have enough friends and God knows he does. Besides, our recent arguments only prove that a friendship between us wouldn’t work.
“I don’t care, it’s done,” I tell Jake.
He sighs, frustrated. I don’t mean to take it out on him, but he needs to stop acting like Ryan’s personal cheerleader.
“Are you still seeing Zara?” I ask suddenly, remembering the party where he hooked up with her and desperate to talk to him about something that doesn’t involve Ryan. Plus, if he’s hooking up with Zara, then he’s not getting with Bianca Gallagher.
He offers me a wry smile but shakes his head. “Nah. Don’t think it was me that she really wanted.”
I raise an eyebrow. “She hooked up with Ryan?”
“No! Becca, he’d never do that to me. I can’t believe you’d even think that.”
I scoff and his face goes hard. “He’s a good guy, Becca. The best. Just because you choose not to see it—which is what you’re doing, by the way—because you’re too pig-headed to see past what you think you know.”
My jaw falls open. Jake never talks to me like this.
“He’s my best friend, Becca. You can’t keep running him down and expect me not to say anything. I wouldn’t talk about Sam like that to you.” He has a point, but still, Sam’s not an idiot!
We stand looking at each other awkwardly; this is the closest thing we’ve ever had to a fight. Jake doesn’t fight with anyone.
“Zara’s an idiot,” I say. “And not because she likes Ryan or anything like that. Because she can’t see how great you are. Anyone would be lucky to have you,” I tell him. Quite the declaration at three in the afternoon, but I mean it, and it’s my way of apologizing.
He grins. “What are you doing now?” he asks and I know he forgives me.
“Uh, standing in the hallway talking to you?
“Smartass. I mean do you have any plans for the next couple of hours?”
“Why?” I ask cautiously.
“Let’s go to that new burger joint in town. It’s supposed to be good. Even if you’re pissed at my boy, you’re still my friend, right?”
“Um, okay.”
I’m not sure this is the best idea, but Jake and I have always been friends regardless of anyone else and he’s trying to make things right between us. Besides, I’m hungry and a burger sounds good. And Charlie has band practice…again!
“Let me just swing by my locker and dump my stuff,” I tell him.
“Sweet. We can see if Jackson’s there and if he wants to come.” This stops me in my tracks. I turn to face him. “Okay, okay I won’t ask him. But promise me you’ll talk to him? Clear the air?”
I’m about to reply when I look toward my locker and see Ryan standing there with some sophomore cheerleader. They’re kissing.
Eww, gross.
“Looks like he’s busy.” I snicker. Jake looks to where I’m indicating and annoyance crosses his face. He must not be much of a fan of the girl. He strides toward them.
“Dude, what the fuck?”
They break apart and both turn to look at Jake, who is glaring at Ryan.
“Seriously! You’re making out on
her
locker. She’s not
not
going to see that!”
“Shut up.”
I start to laugh. “Jake, it’s fine. It’s not like it’s the first time.”
Jake continues to glare at Ryan, who stares at the floor. The cheerleader links her arm through Ryan’s and moves closer to him, watching me the whole time. I almost laugh out loud. Like seriously, Ryan’s such a catch any girl would find it hard not to launch themselves at him? Ryan looks distinctly uncomfortable and tries to move away, but she’s not having any of it. She stays latched on. I vaguely wonder what happened to Jessica Murphy, but then again Ryan’s never really stuck with one girl for too long, so that must be over.
I turn to my locker, open it, shove my books inside and turn back to Jake, who is still glaring at Ryan, who looks equally pissed. His jaw is clenched and everything.
Okay, there’s definitely something going on here. Maybe they had a fight over something.
“Ready?” I ask, already bored with the conversation. Jake nods.
Ryan looks between us. “What are you doing?”
“Going to that new burger joint in Henley. I was gonna see if you wanted to come. Wasn’t expecting you to be so busy,” Jake says, raising his eyebrows at Ryan, who just scowls back at him.
“Oh, he can’t. We’re actually just going to the mall. Right, Ryan?” The girl looks up at him, her grip tightens; there’s no way she’s letting him go.
Ah well, at least I won’t have to listen to his shit.
Jake is still glaring at him. “That’s a shame. Just thought you might like to come to a social engagement with me. And Becca.” Ryan looks like he’s ready to punch Jake.
I look between them both, getting confused. “You’re being weird. Come on, I’m hungry.” I turn and start walking to the nearest exit. He must still be bitching at Ryan because it’s a good couple of minutes before Jake catches up with me.
A couple of hours later, I’m lying on my bed obsessing over why Charlie still hasn’t gotten back to me even though his practice should have finished by now and wondering whether Sam will want to do something later when my phone finally beeps. It’s a number I don’t recognize.
Unknown: How was the burger?
Burger? What?
Me: Who is this?
Unknown: Ryan.
Me: Jackson?
Ryan: How many other Ryan’s do you know?
Dick.
Me: How’d you get this number?
Ryan: Does it matter?
Me: Are you stalking me?
Ryan: You wish.
God, he’s so freaking arrogant
.
Me: Seriously, how did you get this number?
Ryan: Guess.
He is so infuriating!
He doesn’t even need to be in my general vicinity anymore to piss me off.
Me: Did Jake give it you?
Ryan: Maybe. . .
I am going to kill Jake.
I have definitely told him before not to give Ryan my number.
A few minutes pass and he messages me again.
Ryan: Would it make you more or less mad to know I’ve had your number in my phone for years?
Fucking Jake!
I send Jake a quick message bitching at him for giving Ryan my number and then throw my phone down in irritation.
My phone beeps again.
Ryan: I can just imagine your face right now. You’ve probably gone all red and angry. Wish I was there to see it. . .bet you’ve already messaged Jake, right?
Despite myself, I let out a small smile at this.
Am I that predicable?
Me: Shut up.
Ryan: I’m right aren’t I? I know you too well, McKenzie.
I shake my head at my phone. I guess he does know me better than I thought that he did. I refuse to give him the satisfaction of agreeing, though.
Ryan: So was the burger place good?
I roll my eyes. What am I, a food blogger? If he cares that much, then he should go read a review online.
My phone beeps again. Seriously, I don’t care about the stupid burger. Oh wait, this time it’s Charlie.
Charlie: Wanna come over?
Hell yes, I do. I quickly sit up and get changed. It’s about time he got back to me. It’s only been two days since I saw him but I am definitely ready for my Charlie fix. I quickly check my reflection in the mirror and run outside to my car.