Found by Love (40 page)

"That feels really good. I guess they did hurt a little bit after all." He seemed to be in his own little world because he didn't say anything back to me. I noticed a tear fall from his eye onto his cheek. "What's wrong? Why are you crying? Caleb I meant what I said. I'm sorry and I'll never hurt you again. I promise." He shook his head at me and wiped the tear from his cheek.

"No, I'm the one that's sorry. I didn't mean to leave any marks on you but I used the only thing I could think of at the time. I wanted to humiliate you and make you feel vulnerable the same way that I felt on that highway all those years ago and I was mad that you thought it was funny but I didn't mean to leave any marks on you because of it. I also wanted you feeling a little helpless which was how I felt when you slammed the bathroom door in my face." Ouch! I guess I did deserve that! He pulled my other arm out of the blanket and I looked at the one that he put the salve on and the redness was already going away.

"Look Caleb. It's already going away and it's not tingling as bad. It's okay. I deserved it anyway so don't be upset alright." He didn't seem to hear me as he put the ointment on my other wrist. As soon as he rubbed it all in he put my arm back underneath the blanket and tucked the blanket around me as tightly as he could and leaned down and looked at me sadly as he caressed my cheek.

"Cru? How did we get here? I thought everything was going great. Why do you doubt everything I say all of the time?" I pulled one side of the blanket out and off of me and motioned for him to lay down with me under the covers. He skimmed my body with his eyes and the heat that I saw in them had me squeezing my thighs together. "You have the most beautiful body I've ever seen in my life. I wish I could paint a picture of how beautiful you are so that I could look at when we are apart."

"I could say the same thing about you, with or without clothes on. The way you fill out a suit makes me go weak in the knees every time you enter the room. The way you look in just a tee shirt and jeans shows me the rugged side of you that's playful and strong. And when you don't have any clothes on?" My face felt flush and I knew my whole body was turning red so I ducked my head under my arm to keep from finishing what I was about to say.

He grabbed a big pillow off of the couch and crawled in beside me and pulled me up the length of his body with my head cradled in his shoulder. He grabbed my jaw and held it in his hand and started drawing circles behind my ear with his finger sending a chill down my spine.

"I thought I already broke down all of your walls Cru? Please finish what you were about to say, we should be able to say anything to each other." I let out a big sigh and put my hand on his chest and started running my finger down the ridges of his bare stomach and going back up to his tattoo that professed his love for me.

"I can't take my eyes off of your body and I don't feel that I deserve you. You're the whole package and I'm a... Well. I'm a lunatic! You said it best and it's not that I doubt your love for me but I am constantly asking myself why me? You're intelligent, funny, HOT, sweet and adorable."

"You didn't think I was so hot in college. I would take offense to it if you were dating the hot muscular guys but you never went out with anyone. I couldn't ever figure out what your type was and honestly I thought you were gay. That first time that I saw you again, when we went out with Cash and Olivia and that ex client of yours said that you were into women it made sense to me." He chuckled at the memory of that night as did I. "That only lasted for about ten minutes though because Cash told me that you weren't and that it was just a ruse to avoid getting into a relationship with anyone."

Realizing that I looked like a complete idiot for a year had me a little mad at Cash but that's just typical of Cash to pay me back from our college days.

"Oh leave it to Cash to make me look like a fool. Did you agree to move in with me in the hopes that we would inevitably hook up?" He fell back onto his back and laughed.

"Of course I did! Did you think I couldn't tell how attracted you were to me? Anytime I got near you you’d flinch and act like I was going to seduce you at any moment."

"Ha! There were times to where I fantasized about you doing just that!" I leaned over and ran my finger down his jaw line giving him goose bumps. "All those times that you would walk into the living room in nothing but your towel looking for something... You were just trying to get me to check you out weren't you?"

"Of course! But don't you dare act like you weren't doing the same thing. 'Caleb? Will you come zip me up please?'; 'Caleb! Please come kill this spider!' While you were in the shower naked mind you."

"Hey! I don't like spiders."

"It was the size of a flea!"

"Well... Yeah. Those were all on purpose." Wow! We've both been so wrapped up with the whole Grayson situation that we haven't even really had a chance to talk about how we got here. Here as in crazy about each other. "How come you never said anything?" He leaned up and grabbed my chin tenderly and rubbed my bottom lip with his finger causing me to lean even closer into him.

"Why do you think I went to Africa Cru? You weren't ready and I had to get you to trust me first and I could tell that you wouldn't be ready for a while so I left. I had to because it was killing me to be around you every day and not BE with you." I reached up and put my hands on his shoulders and wrapped my fingers around his neck and gave him a seductive gentle kiss on his lips.

"It was killing me too. I realized while you were gone that I was in too deep with you but I was also stressing out over not knowing what was going on with Grayson. The the night that you held me? You impressed me by not taking advantage of the situation. I believe that has been my most vulnerable moment... Ever!"

"I built some trust that night with you didn't I by not ravishing you and taking advantage of your weakness." I don't know how he did it but somehow I was beneath him and he was slowly caressing my side making me shiver all over.

"Um…. yes you did." I looked into his smoldering eyes and felt my nipples harden at once and warmth between my legs. "How did I not notice you seemed to get me right where you wanted? I trust you Caleb. I know I went off on you but I was thinking-"

"You were thinking that if we had a kid together I would love it more than Grayson. I know what you were thinking and let's drop it okay because I don't want to get mad again. We still haven't played my little trust game and I think it's time that we started. Are you ready Cru?" He kissed me on the lips hard and then grazed his teeth down my neck and kissed me between my breasts.

"Yes. Whatever you want to do to me, I'm ready."

"Aww Sweetheart. That's exactly what I wanted to hear." He reached over and pulled something into his hands and I recognized them immediately. He had a few of my silk scarves that I had brought from the house. "I promise these won't hurt at all baby. Trust me." I winced at the scarves but I knew if I didn't play along with his little game this could be it for us and I wasn't about to take that chance.

"I trust you and I'll never doubt it again." I gulped and he looked into my eyes seductively and right then and there I didn't care what his game was going to be because I was ready for whatever he had planned.

"Are you sure? I'm not complaining about our sex life so far because I must say... It's been exemplary but I want to go a bit further if you are willing."

"What do you mean by…. further?'" He shook his head and leaned back with the scarves in his lap.

"Maybe this wasn't a good idea Cru. If you're going to ask me a bunch of questions then maybe you're not ready. This is a game that I would like to call… Trust. Do you think I have any intentions of hurting you? Please answer only yes or no and don't ask me another question to my question." It only took me a second to answer.

"No." I couldn't stop at just no though. "I can't imagine you hurting anyone. Well... Unless someone is hurting me or someone you love. Like Roger tried to hurt Grayson. Hey. You never did tell me what you went to jail for before. Remember? When you got arrested? You said it wasn't the first time you've ever been to jail." He sighed at me and raised his leg up and leaned his head to rest on his knee as he shook his head.

"I lied. I knew you were worried about me going to jail and I didn't want you feeling bad that the first time I went to jail had anything to do with you so I lied to make you feel better." He pulled three scarves out and started tying 2 of them on each leg of the table. "I need to tame you is what I need to do. You're like a lioness in the wild that refuses to let anyone help her protect her cub."

"You lied to me?" He clicked his tongue at me while he shook his head.

"Yes I did. I lied to protect your feelings. You lied to hurt mine when you were thankful that you weren't pregnant. Which lie was worse do you think?" Dammit! He got me there.

"But a lie is a lie." He cocked his eyes at me.

"Even if it's out of protection for someone's feelings? Protection to keep someone from thinking they should end a relationship because of the chaos in their life? Were you not thinking that you should end it with me in that moment that I was getting arrested?"

"Yes. You knew that's what I was thinking."

"Which was why I lied to you, to not make you feel bad and not do something stupid. That's what someone does when they love someone. Was I going to end up telling you the truth? Yes, but only when I knew you could handle the truth and not run from me like your mind was telling you to. Are you ready to talk about your lie?" No! That's the last thing I want to talk about because I know that I hurt him too bad. I shook my head slowly. "Why? Because it's too fresh on our minds? Because you're afraid that I'm going to tell you that the last thing I want right now is a baby? Because you would be right. We aren't ready for a baby if we can't deal with what's here and now and that is that you don't trust me. You don't trust me to love you unconditionally and you don't trust me to love Grayson as if he were my own flesh and blood. Do you love Eden and Gideon as if they were your own flesh and blood?" What? Why would he ask me that? I love them more than life itself.

"Of course I do! Why would you think I didn't?"

"That's my point Cru! Are you the only one that can love someone? Blood or no blood? Is blood thicker than water with you? Because if that is the case then Grayson is the only person in the world that shares your blood." He's not telling me anything I didn't know but the way that he's saying it has me really thinking.

"Do you have a point to all of this?" I raised my hands up or shall I say I tried to raise my hands up as each wrist had a scarf around them tied to each leg of the table. I could maneuver them more than I could with the string but there was no touching my face if I wanted to. Here I am, once again, tied up to the table. I knew he was going to tie me up but I was so distracted by the conversation that I wasn't paying attention to what he was doing.

"Yes. My point is that you have over a dozen people that love you almost as much as I do but you continue to second guess them. You don't seem to trust any of them and especially me. So, I'm going to have some fun with you to see how much you really trust me with your heart and especially that sexy beautiful body of yours. I promise I'm not going to hurt you but give you the most intense pleasure you've ever experienced in your whole entire life. And then we will see how much you trust me. Close your eyes so that I can blindfold you. Please." I looked at him petrified at the word blindfold but the intense pleasure comment didn't leave my thoughts and had me interested in what he was about to do to me so I closed my eyes and let him put the scarf around my head to cover my eyes. "Are you ready my love?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

A thought popped into my head. "Wait a minute. This isn't when you decide to tell me that you're into bondage and want me to be all submissive to you and all that are you?" I waited a few seconds for his reply and the idea didn't scare me as bad as it I thought it would. He chuckled though and I grinned.

"No Cru. I just want to be in control for once and really pleasure you. I promise I don't have any whips on me." I heard and felt him move away and then come back closer to me. "Tonight that is. I might have a paddle to spank you with for being naughty earlier though. From now on when I ask you a question you reply back to me 'Yes Nerd Boy' okay?" He started touching me with something foreign to me but it felt so good and was making my body burn with lust. He whispered in my ear. "I love the way you say it and it makes me go hard." I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat and answered as seductively as I could answer.

"Yes Nerd Boy." He moaned in my ear and I started feeling a light brush of something between my inner thigh that was getting me wet and I tried to squeeze my thighs together but he wouldn't let me.

"If you do that again I'm going to tie your feet up as well." He growled at me in such a way that I was getting turned on even more. "You like that don't you?" Oh do I! Whatever he's touching me with has me shivering all over. I know it's not his finger but it's very light and soft and arousing. I feel the softness go from my inner thigh up around my hair line and down the other thigh and I refrain from squeezing my legs to just enjoy the feelings that are taking over my body.

He continued to caress me with what I'm beginning to think could be a feather up my stomach and around my nipples. I breathe in when I feel him start rubbing between my legs gently with his finger. He stopped at my swollen nub and started rubbing gently in a circular motion and I'm already about to lose it I'm that close to coming. I feel his hot breathe at my breast.