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I try not to lose my temper but it’s hard. Etta and I will never get on, not really, but can’t she at least
try
.

‘Why didn’t he come with you?’

I can tell she couldn’t care less about my answer.

‘Because he’s too ill to fly home. He nearly died and he could die if he gets on a plane.’

I lay it on a bit thick, but I’m not having her think I’m trying to wriggle out of this. She has time to look into this, but I know she won’t. Her album may be finished but her attention is on the release of her first single a few months down the line.

‘Oh.’

Oh indeed. Thankfully Matt comes through with tea, and after a few minutes of answering Matt’s questions about Piers – because he’s polite enough to ask about his illness, like you do – Etta finally agrees to let my mum look into the art gallery.
Thank goodness
. As for Frocks and Socks, it’s going nowhere. That will have to wait until I’m back home.

‘Are you rich then?’ Ob calls out as I walk into the pub and start scanning the tables for my best friend. I glare at him as I catch his eye. He’s sitting at the table by the fireplace, which isn’t lit, but there is a pile of logs stacked up ready even though today we’ve finally got full-blown sunshine. I’ve changed from my dress to a pair of brightly patterned cigarette trousers and a loose, grey cami top, but I still feel sticky.

‘I know, I know,’ Ob says with a cheeky grin as I walk over to him. ‘You’d rather have Felicity back but inheriting all her money softens the blow of losing her.’

I smack him on the arm for that as I mutter “too soon” and then realise that the woman with the wavy dark brown hair sat next to him is more than likely Jade from what I recall from my Facebook stalking. Jade who might not appreciate me hitting Ob because her being here suggests that there has been some progress. Irgh, this is weird. He could have warned me.

‘Hi,’ I say somewhat awkwardly as I sit down opposite the two of them. ‘I’m Arielle.’

‘Jade.’

Mortifying
.

Yesterday Ob told me that Jade was keeping the baby – clarifying what Mum had already told me – and said he’d explain “developments” in the pub if I could squeeze him in. I expected him to be explaining sans Jade.

I arranged to meet Ob (and Jade) at The Cobbler, a cheery pub with yellow walls, flowery decor and good pub grub. It will never be The Guinea Inn, our old local, but since the owner gave it a trendy refurbishment and introduced karaoke nights, this is the next best pub in Brockenhurst. So, here we are. Me. Obélix.
And
Jade
.

She’s wearing a black-and-white striped vest top, a pair of skinny grey jeans and strappy silver sandals. I, begrudgingly, see why Ob fancies her. She’s all big boobs, wide eyes and a filthy grin – not that she’s offered me more than a half-hearted smile.

Ob looks the same as ever, though slightly happier, and his reddish-brown hair is a little neater. Actually, he looks a little cleaner, too, and there’s no faint whiff of cow. My gaze automatically drops to his hands – there’s usually a smear of something on them – and that’s when I see it.

‘Oh!’ I sound more confused than delighted as I look from their hands to their faces, then back down to their hands again as if I’m acting in some awful sitcom. Cue the canned laughter.

Ob’s hand is resting on the solid dark oak table; Jade’s left hand is on top of his. On her finger is a ring – a white gold band with an intricate leaf pattern. In the centre a rather unusual oblong green sapphire sits on the band. Small diamonds are clustered around the sapphire.

My mouth kicks in. ‘Congratulations!’ It’s not quite a squeal, but hopefully I sound happy enough. ‘When did this happen?’ I demand, shooting a look at Ob.

I hope I don’t sound too accusatory, but how on earth did Ob manage to pick out a ring without any help, especially one that matches Jade’s eyes perfectly?
How on earth did Ob manage to keep a proposal from me?
This is
huge
news. And slightly weird news, if I’m honest.

‘Yesterday,’ is Jade’s soft reply as she looks at me with her unusual sage-green eyes. Right now she looks demure, like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. She doesn’t look like someone who would exchange sex for a vet bill... I’m really going to have to get over that now that they’re getting hitched, aren’t I?

‘Well, wow!’ I trill. ‘Your parents must be thrilled.’

I turn to Ob. He looks like the cat who’s got the cream, and I remember him saying he’d ask her to marry him if she was pregnant – I never expected her to say yes if Ob plucked up the courage to propose.

I hope she’s said yes for all the right reasons but, let’s face it, they were a one-night stand. I seriously doubt they love one another, although Obélix is certainly confusing lust with love right now... Yeah, I also need to dispel
those
thoughts as well.

‘They can’t wait to be grandparents,’ he tells me, which I know already. It’s telling that he focused on that rather than saying that they are excited about Jade joining the family. His mum, like me, has been wishing for Ob to get himself a serious girlfriend for a long, long time. ‘And they’re staying here, too,’ he adds.

Again, the last I knew, Ob’s parents were moving up to Edinburgh to be closer to his ageing, and ailing, grandparents. Ob used to tell me everything; now I’m completely out of the loop.

Part of me questions if there’s a reason Ob kept all this quiet, although another part of me understands that it will always be like this now – that someone like Jade will never allow Ob and I to have the same relationship we’ve had all of our lives.

Her hand possessively on top of his makes it abundantly clear that Jade will have the final say from this day forward and, oddly, I feel gutted. Everything is changing. I know I’m engaged, too, but
everything is changing
. We’re proper grown-ups now.
Fuck
.

‘Oh, wow,’ I trill again, sounding like a broken record as the two of them look at me expectantly. ‘This calls for bubbles!’ I stand up and grab my purse out of my bag. ‘Who wants what?’

Jade puts her hand up modestly, like she’s already Mother of the Year. ‘No, not for me. I couldn’t possibly. I’ll have an OJ though.’

She pats her tummy, somewhat smugly, but maybe that’s her eyes making me think that. They are shaped like a cat’s and make her look devious, especially when partnered with the half-smirk, half-smile that she’s flashing me now. I already know I have more chance of becoming best friends with Etta than I do Jade.

‘Ob? Bubbles?’

‘Just a beer for me, ta Fatty.’

A few minutes later I return from the bar with a local IPA for Ob and two orange juices. ‘Cheers!’ I say holding up my glass, and we all awkwardly toast this news.

‘Aren’t you drinking?’ Obélix asks after he downs half his pint in one go. I catch Jade’s disapproving frown and bet that he’ll be giving up the booze before he can say “nappies”.

I shake my head and take a sip of my drink. ‘The jet lag is killing me,’ I explain, ‘and I need a clear head to fly back tomorrow. Anyway, tell me all your news – you have a lot it seems!’ I laugh faintly, but I do feel slightly excluded. ‘What’s happening with your grandparents then?’

‘They’re moving here.’

‘Woah, really?’

This is huge. Ob’s grandparents are Scottish through and through. For them to move down to the New Forest... I really hope Jade is worth all the disruption she’s causing everyone.

I turn and smile at her, feeling slightly guilty at my negative thoughts.

To look at her you wouldn’t be able to tell she’s pregnant, but then she can only be a week or two gone since Ob only hooked up with her the other week.
Wow
. I didn’t know pregnancies could be confirmed that quickly. In no time at all she’s changed not only her life, but Ob’s life, his parents
and
his grandparents. That’s some turnaround. 

‘Yep, and it won’t be long before our baby will have a cousin, too,’ Ob says with a wink.

‘Oh!’ I turn back to Jade. ‘Is it your brother or your sister that’s expecting?’

She looks at me like I’ve just asked if she eats babies. ‘I’m an only child.’

I shoot Ob a look.

‘You and Piers. The pitter patter of tiny feet are coming for you two, right?’

I roll my eyes because that’s not how this works. Just because Ob is having a kid, it doesn’t mean I immediately have to. I try to remember what sorts of questions I should be asking. The only pregnant person I’ve ever met before is my hairdresser.

‘When are you due?’

She answers Christmas at the same time that Obélix answers February. I shoot a confused look between the two of them. How could she have got the date wrong?

Jade laughs, a very tinkling and annoying laugh. ‘Randolph is right, of course.’

Randolph
? Obélix will always be Ob to me. That’s another thing I’m going to have to get used to, I think, as I study Ob carefully. He still looks delighted.

One flicker of uncertainty though, one miserable look, and I will tell him he doesn’t have to do this. He can be a part of the baby’s life without marrying Jade.

‘The baby is due in February, but I want a Christmas baby.’

Ob squeezes her hand.

‘I don’t know much about babies,’ I say with a chuckle, ‘but don’t they come when they’re ready?’

‘It’ll be Christmas. I’m very strong-willed like that,’ Jade says frostily.

What can I say to this? With the look Ob is giving Jade – utterly smitten – I’m not going to push this further, but something is not adding up here. Why would Jade want to risk her baby’s health by wishing it to be born premature? I know babies can pop out a few months early, but who would actually want their child to be
that
early?

‘Oh, but–’ I begin, keen to understand her thinking because it’s important I form a relationship with Obélix’s future wife.

She interrupts me. ‘Excuse me. The little one is pressing on me.’

She stands up and disappears to the loos, her phone clutched in her hand.

‘Ob,’ I hiss as soon as I see Jade disappear through the bathroom door. ‘Are you sure about this?’

Her baby must be a dot right now; I’m pretty sure it can’t be pushing on her bladder.

He sighs, like he expected this, and I wonder if Jade has been putting ideas in his head about me. ‘Can’t you be happy for me?’

‘But how can she have the baby at Christmas? In nine months time it will be February. She’s a few weeks gone, isn’t she?’

‘You heard what she said, Arielle. She wants a Christmas baby. You’re reading too much into this.’

I’m about to open my mouth to protest further, but I stop myself. Maybe Jade genuinely believes she can choose when she’s having the baby, but
Ob is a vet
. Surely he should know it’s not a sane idea... or maybe he does and he’s humouring his new fiancée? That must be it. Of course he knows Jade won’t be having a Christmas baby; he just doesn’t want to upset her.

‘Will she be OK to travel to New York?’ I ask.

‘New York?’

‘Oh! Ob,’ I say dramatically as Jade rejoins us. ‘And Jade.’ I flash her a quick smile, but she’s staring at me like she can’t believe I have the nerve to still be here. ‘I hope you both can come to New York this summer as Piers and I will be getting married there! It’ll be before the cut-off for the baby,’ I add, spotting Jade’s confused look.

‘Sorry?’

‘Don’t doctors recommend that you don’t travel after a certain point in pregnancy?’ I ask.

‘I have no idea,’ Jade laughs as Ob shrugs. ‘If we were talking about horses...’

Ah, yes, the whole reason why Ob got himself into this sorry mess. OK, sorry mess is a bit harsh – it’s pretty obvious he’s really excited about being a dad – but if I had a time machine I’d go back and make Jade settle her bill in a more appropriate manner... or I’d make him wear a condom. This is not a story of conception I hope they’ll ever share with their child.

‘Anyway,’ I say expectantly. ‘Are you in?’

Jade pouts. ‘I can’t afford it, and you’re not going without me,’ she tells Ob. She makes it sound almost like a threat.

‘Ob?’ Ob is my best friend.
He can’t miss my wedding.

‘I’ll pay,’ he says with an easy grin.

‘Ooh, in that case, count us in!’ Jade’s face goes from petulant and pouting to ecstatic within a second of Ob saying he’ll take care of the cost. Go figure.

‘Great,’ I chirp, but asking Ob has just lost some of its shine.

‘What about your other wedding?’ Ob asks, a glint in his eye.

‘At Tharnham?’

He nods, and I remember then that he is a big fan of Edynfed Brackenbury, the Tudor explorer whose childhood home was Tharnham Hall. Thank goodness we opted for insurance otherwise we would be losing the quite sizeable deposit we had put down to secure our booking.

‘On my to-do list to cancel at some point.’

‘Or maybe Jade and I could get married there?’ Ob asks, giving me the most hopeful look I’ve ever seen.

The squeals from Jade drown out my answer, and the expectant look on Ob’s face when she finally quietens down means I end up saying that if it’s OK with Piers, and they pay for it themselves, they can use our booking.

I don’t think either of them hear that last bit, but Jade is regarding me with a new look – one that implies I’m a lot more useful to her than she first thought.