Forty Leap (31 page)

Livvie shook me gently awake, saying my name
quietly into my ear. I opened my eyes to a dark sky and stumbled
out of the car and into the warmth of the July night. I don’t know
the time exactly, but it was clearly the early morning. There was
no hint of a sunrise so I figured it was in the one or two o’clock
range. They led me into the house, which was dark and silent. It
still surprises me how incoherent and incapable I was of simple
tasks. Wyatt spoke to me, but I couldn’t understand what he was
saying. I remember a feeling of vague familiarity. It was the same
house and it smelled the same as it had when last I’d been there.
The room they gave me was the room I had used before. They sat me
on the bed and took off my shoes. I more fell than lay back and
then I was asleep once more.

When next I awakened there was light behind
the blinds. Two towels, a toothbrush, and a razor had been left on
the nightstand for me. I sat up slowly, still weak from my ordeal,
but I noted that I felt better than I had in days. I stepped out of
my room and crossed the hall to the bathroom, now acutely aware of
how much at home I felt in the house. I had only spent a short
amount of time there, but it was more than just the physical state
of the place. I had no home of my own at this point. My apartment
had been ruined and burned thirty years ago. But there was a
welcoming atmosphere, a sense of family and belonging. It was the
most pleasant feeling. I had encountered it before, when I had
stayed here. The reconciliation between my brothers and I had been
complete at that time. But now, with my marathon journey across the
states still fresh in my mind, I was more aware of it. The irony
was not lost on me. For all of my life I had remained alone.
Whether by design or by choice I had shunned and been shunned. My
relationships had all been of distance. Even my closeness to my
mother was a farce, born more of obligation than anything else. I
had loved her, loved her still, but she had never been my friend.
But those days were long behind me. This was the fruit I had
purchased by leaping through time. At that very moment, for the
very first time, I began to think it was all worth it.

From the emotional to the physical, a shower,
shave, and good tooth brushing were fantastic. I took my time,
feeling safe and warm under the water. When it was all over and I
looked at myself in the mirror I saw a shadow of a man. But the
shadow was clean, at least and if I could just find some time to
stay here and be with my family, the shadow would fill out and
become the man once again.

There was clothing in my closet and it was
clothing that not only fit me but suited me as well. My brothers
had been well prepared for this day. I suppose, as did they, that
it was inevitable that I would come back to them. I could not go to
Jennie. Without even knowing anything about her life I knew that an
interruption by me would be devastating to her. For one thing, she
was older than I was now. She was Livvie’s age. That wouldn’t have
bothered me. I would love her no matter how old she was and I felt
that when I was travelling centuries through time I would never
forget her. There would never be anyone to replace her. So there
would be nowhere else for me to go. I thought briefly about my next
leap and how far into the future it might take me. My brothers
might be gone then. Then I would be truly alone.

I heard them talking as I walked toward the
kitchen. I couldn’t make out what was being said because voices
were being kept intentionally low, but I could tell that Martie was
upset. That didn’t surprise me, really. Martie was always upset
about something. It was a testament to Jeremy’s patience that he
had lasted with her this long. It also said something about me that
I could even have these thoughts. Through all my years of having
known Martie and knowing just how much she disliked me, I had
always blamed myself. I
was
a creepy guy. But I thought all
of that had been put behind us during my last visit. Though she had
never explicitly welcomed me, there was always the feeling that she
had come to terms with my existence. I had believed in our silent
reconciliation.

I hesitated outside the kitchen for a couple
of minutes, just trying to get a piece of what was being said, but
I couldn’t. Finally, I just stepped inside. There were just the
three of them at the table. Wyatt, Jeremy, and Martie. They all
looked up and Jeremy stood up. The years had been less kind to him
than to Wyatt. Jeremy had always been tall but he was now stooped.
He had a gut bulging out of his pants and his hair was thinning.
This, by the way, is uncharacteristic of my family. He regarded me
with a warm smile and embrace. Martie remained where she was,
stonefaced.

“You look a damn sight better than you did
last night,” Wyatt said. “Care for some lunch?”

Taken aback I looked at the scatterings on
the table before them. Sandwiches and soda. The clock on the oven
range read 1:11. I had slept a long time.

“Anything would be good,” I said, taking a
seat. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine,” Jeremy said, casting a
warning glance toward Martie.

“Where’s Livvie?”

“She went home last night,” Wyatt laughed.
“She said she’d come by this evening after everyone was home from
work and camp.”

I nodded. Jeremy put an egg salad sandwich in
front of me on a paper plate. I looked down at it, trying to
remember the last time I had had egg salad. It was one of my
favorites. It was gone in a hurry and Jeremy gave me another. I
took my time with this one, just savoring the flavor of clean
food.

We talked a bit during lunch, Martie keeping
well out of the conversation, but staring at me with awful eyes. I
felt my nerves begin to fray. In many ways, my experiences had made
a better person of me. I had gained a certain measure of self
assurance that had been missing in the past. But there was a cost
associated with that. No longer could I sit by and allow myself to
be victimized in even the smallest way when I was guilty of
nothing.

Finishing the last of my sandwich, I wiped my
mouth with a napkin and drank deeply from a glass of soda. It
tasted a bit like cola but there was something else to it. I
decided I liked it and finished the glass.

Then I looked at Martie directly.

She was visibly startled by this act. The
conversation had died to nothing but the easy atmosphere was
replaced by the anticipation of what was to come next. I stared at
her unashamed. I studied the lines on her face and the hollowness
to her eyes. They translated into years, hard years in which she
had lost a son and a sister-in-law. She looked away, her eyes
finding her own napkin sitting crumpled on the table in front of
her.

Finally, she said it, barely mumbling it
under her breath. “Why did you come here?”

“Martie!” Jeremy chided.

But the words had been spoken and their
sincerity was unchangeable. “Where was I to go, Martie?”

She looked up at me, engaged now, thirsting
for the confrontation. “Somewhere else. Does it matter? Do you
think I care?”

“That’s enough, Martie,” Jeremy interjected
through gritted teeth. “We’ve been through all this.”

But she ignored him. “What do you think will
happen when they come for you?” she asked me. “You’re a fugitive
and now we’re all criminals. Did you even stop to consider our
lives?”

“
Martie!
” Jeremy barked and she looked
away.

She was right, though. I hadn’t stopped to
consider it. I had been cautious, in my own amateurish way. But I
had been desperate and my brothers were the only people to whom I
knew I could turn.

“Maybe I should go,” I said, not really
wanting to. A good night’s sleep and a couple of good meals had
done wonders for my physical state, but I was still just shy of
exhausted.

“You won’t go,” Wyatt said.

Jeremy nodded. “If my wife is that concerned,
she
can go.”

The room fell silent after that. Martie said
nothing and no one wanted to look at each other. We spent the
remainder of the day in emotional discomfort, speaking sparsely. I
took a walk around their considerable property, noting that, even
in the year 2037, there was still room to breathe. After dinner,
Livvie came by with the entire family. Robert, her husband, was a
decent fellow. He was a big and serious man who was not aging
particularly well. His hair had all but gone and a growing paunch
had settled above his belt line. He greeted me with cautious
cordiality but warmed up over coffee and dessert. The kids were
great. They reflected all of the best of my niece. I felt none of
the distance that I had felt with Devin and Jack in their
youth.

Martie was quiet, and grew more so as I began
to bond with the family. My own personality was not what it had
been when she and I had been the same age. I was more comfortable
with myself and more comfortable talking to these perfect strangers
as if they were the close family they should have been. Perhaps I
had only lived a short time over the past thirty years, but I had
somehow absorbed thirty years of maturity. Eventually, Martie had
had enough and took off for bed. The children were playing computer
games and my brothers, Livvie, Robert, and I sat around the table
making small talk. As I looked at all of the faces of the people in
my family, my attention was drawn back the altercation of that
afternoon. I was placing them all in danger. If I left and the
police came, then they could just answer any questions truthfully
and go one with their lives. I went quiet, just listening to them
discuss the regular events of their lives. Who had what summer
class and all of the things that needed to be done tomorrow. It was
dull stuff, really, but the normalcy of it drew me in as if it were
the most exciting piece of fiction ever told.

“You’re quiet, Mathew,” Wyatt said.

I smiled at the group and fidgeted with the
spoon laying on my saucer. “I’m just…trying to remember what it was
like.”

“We should go,” Robert said, standing up and
leaving the room.

Livvie looked up after him, then nodded. “I
guess he’s right. We both have to be at work tomorrow.”

They got their things together and left with
hugs and kisses. The children politely told me how good it was to
meet me. I’m not sure if they quite understood who I was or even
believed it. How could I be Grandpa’s brother and yet be thirty
years younger? When they had finally gone, I said good night to my
brothers, suffering a queer look from Wyatt, and went to my room. I
paced for a bit, thinking hard about what I should do. I remembered
all of the violence from the Rocky Mountain facility. I thought of
Neville. I thought of the future, immediate and distant. This time
jumping thing had grown so much larger than I ever thought it
could. When it had started, my concern was for my job and my day to
day affairs. Now I was running for my life, worried about my
family. Day to day affairs had been left behind. They were concerns
for other people. But some of those other people were my
concern.

With a certain finality of decision making
that I had never known previously, I took some clothes out of the
drawers and closet, found a light duffel bag, and packed. I would
be without money and without transportation. There was no such
thing as cash anymore so I wouldn’t be able to find money without
an identity. My identity was tainted. I didn’t know what I would do
or how I would do it, but I couldn’t put my brothers at risk
anymore. On tip toes, I went to the kitchen. I felt dirty, like I
was stealing, but there was nothing for it. If they were willing to
put their lives and their freedom at risk for me, I guessed they
wouldn’t mind me taking a bit of food from the pantry.

I did not expect Wyatt to be waiting for
me.

“How did you know?”

He shrugged. “You had a look in your eye.
You’re different, Mathew. I should have seen it right away, but
I’ve been so enthralled by your youth that it wasn’t so
apparent.”

“Martie’s right, you know.”

He shrugged again. “You and I both know who
and what she is. Jeremy knows, too.” He stood. “Mathew, we have
been waiting for you for fifteen years. We knew you were going to
come and we knew it would be dangerous for us to hide you. This
debate is as old as all that. The decisions were made a long time
ago.”

I shook my head. “Not by me. I never got a
say.”

He chuckled knowingly.

“If they come for me I’ll probably leap. It
has something to do with, well, getting excited. But I’ll be gone
and you’ll be left here to deal with the consequences.”

“What consequences? You’re not officially a
criminal, Mathew. We know what’s happening and there are rumors
like there are rumors of aliens in Roswell, New Mexico. But no
one’s issued a warrant for your arrest. If they come for you, they
may be able to take you, but they won’t be able to prosecute
us.”

I was doubtful. “Are you sure?”

“Do you want to go?”

Of course I didn’t
want
to go. I told
him as much.

“Then don’t go. And don’t worry about a
thing. Like I said, this is an old debate. We’re well prepared for
their arrival.”

They came the next morning.

Jeremy came into my room while I was asleep
and quickly roused me. I pulled myself groggily to my feet, noting
the stack of clean bedding he deposited on the dresser. At first I
thought he was simply changing my linen and thought,
what an odd
time to change the linen
. But he hastily explained that there
was a police cruiser coming up the drive. Pulling the sheets off of
the bed, he threw them onto the floor. He left the pillows as they
were and grabbed me by the arm.

The doorbell rang as we hit the hallway. I
caught a glimpse of Wyatt passing from one room into the front,
going for the door. Jeremy took me in the other direction, saying
nothing. I followed, still trying to clear the sleep from my head.
He led me to the back of the house and down into the cellar. It was
half-finished, with a tile floor and stone walls. He walked to a
darkened corner and he felt around the floor for a moment. Finally,
he raised a two foot by four foot section of tile and slid it back
and over another portion of the floor on a thin track. Underneath
was a trap door. Below it was a small staircase leading down into
darkness. We went in together and he pulled the door closed.
Lighting a flashlight, he found the runners for the track and, I
assume, pulled the tile back into place.