Fortified (16 page)

P
rom
. A night Orlando had been looking forward to, but instead dreaded. Dinner had gone well enough. It had been a group thing, so he didn't have to struggle with finding what to say to Tait when they were finally alone. He ate his food, made a couple of side comments, and did what he did best: be mysterious and nonchalant about everything.

Once at the fancy downtown hotel where the dance was being held, the girls all ran off to do whatever it was girls did in the bathroom together and he sat down on a bench in the lobby, away from the swarm of teenagers going in and out of the ballroom.
Why did I do this again?
Oh, right, because I wasn't thinking straight.
He'd let his unintentional game go on long enough and now it was time to pay the price.

Tait rejoined him after a rather long time passed. When her friends walked by, they whispered and giggled.
And by the end of the night they'll be on the attack.
He took in a deep breath, determined to have fun and not let his nerves get the better of him. Maybe they'd have a good, laid-back, friendly time. It didn't have to be a romantic adventure just because it was prom, right? People went as “just friends” all the time. They were even able to dance and not have it be a big thing. An hour and a half passed with no problems, leaving Orlando feeling confident in his decision.

Everything was going great until she leaned in to kiss his lips during a slow dance. The gesture turned his stomach in a knot, proof that he was indeed over his infatuation with her. He did not reciprocate it.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, looking down, obviously embarrassed. The tension in her jaw brought out the sadness in her eyes. “You let me kiss you at the mall a few weeks back. I assumed it'd be okay here too.”

“It was a fair assumption to make,” he said quietly. He could hardly hear himself over the loud music, let alone think.

Tait shook her head, a few of her blonde curls coming out of place from her fancy up-do. “You're confusing me. One day you're in, the other you're so far out the door I can't catch you. What's going on? Do you or don't you want this to work?”

How did he respond? “Yes” meant he'd only betray his heart to save her feelings. “No” would end in a tearful scene and possibly a bloody nose when Peyton caught up to him. Then the rest of the backlash would follow. Tait was popular. She'd end his social existence for good if he didn't tread carefully. Not like he wanted to be the social king of Lunar Falls, but he did want to survive high school in one piece. Even worse, the other single girls would see him as fair game and pounce him in other ways…or try to. Silence seemed safest.

“I'll take that as a no.” She pursed her lips, letting go of him to fold her arms across her chest. Not a great place to put them since it drew attention to the sweetheart neckline of her pale pink gown. “You sounded excited when I asked you to be my date. What's wrong? Why the sudden change of heart?”

“I'm not sure how to explain it,” he said.
Not tactfully, and not without giving myself away. I know who you are. I know what you've done. I can't forget it and let it go no matter how hard I've tried. I hate how you are still involved with the wrong side, and I'm positive now that you're doing it on your own accord and it disgusts me. I don't know how to say that there's someone better for me out there.
Ugh, what do I do?

She took in a deep breath. He'd clearly taken too long to answer. “Is there someone else?”

“When I said I'm not sure how to explain, that's all I have for you. It's complicated.”
Confusing. Messy.

Then she glared at him, and he caught a glimpse of the dangerous girl she kept hidden inside: Sprout. “I'm disappointed. You've always been bluntly honest with me in the past. Why not now?”

Again, he stayed silent. No words were better than lies.

Of course, she wasn't going to understand. “Why did you come then?” He opened his mouth to answer. She held up her hand, cutting him off. “Actually, I don't want to hear it.” Before he could reply with anything that might possibly diffuse the conversation, she stormed off.

“Well then…” The only thing he could think to do was leave. Staying would prove disastrous. Once all of her friends caught wind of their fight, the school would be against him. Better to get out while he could and let things cool off over the weekend.

He slipped out of the ballroom, walked casually through the hotel lobby, and then stepped outside into the cool night air. For a few blocks, he walked, enjoying the ambient sounds of the city. Cars passing by, people talking, laughing, the occasional honk of a car. It put him in a new place, one that was far from reality and the hole he'd dug himself into.

When did I become such an idiot?
Orlando always prided himself on being the guy who did the right thing, who vowed to not let his selfish desires take control of his life again. As it turned out, he hadn't changed as much as he thought. Deep down, he was still the spoiled brat desperate for attention.
At least I can psychoanalyze myself and figure it out now. No need for anyone else to do it anymore.

With a sigh, he pulled out his cellphone and dialed JD's number. He might never admit it in front of the rest of the group, but JD was fast becoming one of his best friends. Despite all of their differences, there was something refreshing about JD's attitude. The last place Orlando could go was home. His parents would ask too many questions or coddle his broken heart to the point of no return. Dallas would go on and on saying “I told you so.” No, Orlando needed a friend who would listen, give the advice he needed, keep quiet if he didn't need it, and move on. JD talked a lot—he also listened when it mattered most.

“Hey, ‘sup?” JD answered.

“I know it's late, but can I come over? Don't give me any attitude over what I'm about to say: I need a friend, clarity, and you're the only one who I know who will understand.”

JD was quiet for a moment. “Anything, anytime, I'm here for ya dude. Just gotta head out for a study thing briefly later with my friend Miranda. Shouldn't take long, though. But come over and stay as long as you want.” He paused. “Aren't you supposed to be at prom?”

“Things kind of blew up,” Orlando said as he continued to walk outside in the cool spring air. “I severed things with Tait, for real. It was the right thing to do. I just don't understand why it hurts so much. I've…never had to do this before. My last relationship didn't exactly have substance to it.”

“It's normal. I promise. We'll talk about it when you get here, and then never speak of it again.”

He cracked a small smile. “Gotta protect that manly image.”

“Exactly.”

They hung up, and Orlando circled around the block back to the parking ramp where he'd left his car. Not going in the limo with the rest of Tait's friends was turning out to be a fantastic idea after all.

Music blasting, he drove to JD's. Through the window he saw Angela talking with her parents and he groaned.
Forgot she might be here. Just like I forget sometimes she and JD are related.
He took in a breath to collect himself, then made his way to the door. And of course, Angela had to answer.

“You're not pizza…” she said, her gaze roaming over him in his tux, a small blush spread across her cheeks.

I'm still gorgeous to her, that's good.
Orlando had several comments to retort with. He kept them to himself. “I'm here to see your brother.”

“R-right, duh,” she said, opening the door wider so he could go in. “I…are you…is everything okay?”

He continued walking, not wanting to dive into the story just to hear “I told you so.” The door to JD's room was wide open, ready to receive him. For the sake of being polite, he knocked on he doorframe before making a show of his fancy attire. “Ta-da.”

“Woah…” JD raised both of his eyebrows. “It's not international spy, but I'm amazed at how you actually look like…normal.”

“I'm assuming that's a compliment. I have a change of clothes in my car, so don't get attached to me being…normal.”
Like I'm not? What is normal, anyway?

JD ushered him in then shut the door. “Talking isn't normally your thing, but you kind of gave the impression you wanted to when you called.”

And without any further prompting, Orlando unloaded everything. His confusion over Tait, the mixed feelings going along with that, and how much he hated himself for wanting to believe the best in her despite everything she'd done. Angela was mentioned, briefly. He wasn't quite sure opening that can of worms was a good idea since he was talking about JD's sister. A vague version of the truth came out all the same: he cared about her—a lot. JD would have to be blind to not notice something happening between them by now. It seemed everyone had some kind of inkling of it.

When he finished, JD gazed at him for a long time. “I've been in your shoes. There was this one time I liked two girls at once. Ended badly. They're best friends now over their mutual dislike of me.”

Orlando pinched the bridge of his nose.
Of course that's what he gets out of my confession.
“Can't say I see that happening in my case.”

“Nope, so you're good!” JD clapped him on the shoulder. “In all seriousness, though, you see what your heart really wants. Take some time and…people…will come around. Look at Cadence and me! I messed that up royally and we're back to being able to hang out again.”

Time, Orlando knew that was the right answer. If there was one thing he had a hard time with, it was patience. Because he was spoiled. All of the things he'd wanted in life, he'd been able to buy or make happen on his own. It helped him cope with all of the things he couldn't change: his parents, Dallas's death. Anything he couldn't have right out, he pushed away so he didn't have to deal with the pain.
But if I want things to work out with Angela, I gotta start doing the right thing. She wanted space, so I'm going to give it to her, and then I'm going to earn back her trust.

“I suppose I'm intruding,” Orlando mumbled. “It's getting late.”

“You can stay,” JD insisted. “Did your parents expect you to come home tonight? For real?”

He shook his head. “They were reluctantly open to my staying at whatever after-party was happening so long as I sent them a text.”

“Then they'll be relieved to know you're here instead!”

Orlando peered at his friend. “Eager for another slumber party?”

“Just thinking about what'd be better for you, man. You don't have to accept my generous offer to give you an excuse to not go home. I know how much you hate it there. It's not a big secret,” JD countered.

“I don't hate being home,” Orlando mumbled. He appreciated the invite all the same. “Thanks, I'll take the floor.”

“We've got an air mattress around here somewhere. Like I said, got a study thing with my friend Miranda, but it shouldn't take long,” he said.

“Who's Miranda?” Orlando raised an eyebrow. A new name. He couldn't remember any Miranda's at Morningtide either. Had JD moved on from Cadence already? He swore he wouldn't, but the guy was known to be fickle with his emotions.

JD shrugged. “Some girl in my Lit class.”

“Some girl…” Orlando echoed. It didn't sit well with him. “Whatever, let me go get my stuff. So long as you're sure I'm not barging in. Your family did order pizza and everything.”

“The more the merrier. Dad picked the movie for the night, and he's got pretty good taste. You'll be well entertained while I do my thing. It'll be an hour at the most. Promise. I'd cancel, but I already had to do that once this week and she'll be pretty mad at me if I ditch her again. She needs the grade boost.” JD made some space on his floor.

Laughing, Orlando opened the door. “She must if she's asking
you
for help.”

JD only rolled his eyes.

Orlando went out to the car, making brief eye contact with Angela as he did so. He risked giving her a smile. A smile she reciprocated. It was a start. Perhaps it wouldn't take
too
long for him to win her over again.

A
lan sucked
in a deep breath and knocked on Cadence's door.
I shouldn't be doing this. It isn't right. Or is it? I don't know anymore. Keeping secrets from the rest of the group doesn't seem like a good idea. We just finally started connecting and trusting one another. Continuing to see Cadence on my own might change that.
By the time he'd thought about possibly going back to his ship, the door opened.

To make it worse, she was laughing. He loved her laugh. It was possibly his favorite thing about her. How could he leave when she did something so beautiful?

“You're kind of scaring me.” She folded her arms across her chest and leaned against her doorway, the smile never fading from her face.

He took in a deep breath. “I didn't realize I was being frightening by coming to your door. Is that because of those horror movies your people like to watch? Should I not come by?”

“No, what I'm trying to say is you're acting out of character. You've never been so respectful or traditional before. I'm not actually afraid of you, but it's a figure of speech we use sometimes when people aren't themselves. It could mean something is going on that I need to worry about,” she explained.

“Oh,” he said and chuckled, hoping his nerves didn't come through. It was more of an awkward laugh than anything else.
Just tell her and she'll understand.
“Because I…er…here.” He held out the flowers he'd been hiding behind his back and handed them to her, choosing to let the gesture do all of the talking for him.

Cadence lowered her gaze to the many different blooms in her hands. He had tried to find as many colors and types as possible, liking the contrast and variety of all the flowers put together. When she frowned, he worried.

“What…what's this?” she asked.

“Courting by means of a more normal method. Flowers.” He tried to not let her lack of reaction discourage him.
I have to try.
He bit his lip, and continued, searching for the right words and hoping if he just kept talking they'd find their way out. “I picked them myself.”
That sounds so juvenile, and I probably shouldn't add I teleported all over to get them. That'll sound desperate.
“I thought they suited you.”

She continued to gaze down at them, nodding slowly, clearly deep in thought. Alan wouldn't rush her into answering, either. Finally, she lifted her dark eyes to meet his gaze. “You're…courting me?”

“Perhaps you'll think it's stupid,” he said, trying to speak at an even pace so as not to bombard her with his word vomit of emotions. Once he started, he wasn't sure he'd be able to hold back.
And she needs a real explanation.
“The more time we spend together, the more I find I care for you. Not just as a part of my team or as a friend. As something deeper that I don't understand. When I think of Jaes coming to do the same thing, I find myself jealous. My feelings may be one-sided, and if they are, that is fine and I respect that. We can pretend I never came here, just like we pretend that you didn't kiss me.”

“We agreed it meant nothing,” she whispered. “That it was just a bad moment.”

“We did,” he said. “And then I wanted it to happen again. If you choose to not to accept my advancements, I hope you will at least take one thing from this experience. How captivating you are. Not just your physical beauty, but your kind soul and wisdom. I appreciate you and everything you do.” He paused. “You're an amazing young woman, and those are the things I am drawn to the most whenever we're together. I promise, if you reject my advancements, it won't impact what we do. Thank you for hearing me out and giving me the chance to say my piece.”

She gazed up at him for a long, agonizing, moment. Her expression was almost impossible to read. “I've been having a hard time ignoring all of those things about
you
. There's still so much I don't know about you, though. So much I want to learn. If this doesn't work…”

“If we take it slow enough, do it right, then if we get to that bridge, it will not be as devastating of a crossing. And if we never arrive to it, then we wouldn't have missed something good because of fear.” He couldn't believe he was trying to persuade her. All of her concerns were completely justified. Because if things didn't work, there might be the chance of awkward tension, regardless of how mature he claimed to attempt to be.
We do barely know one another. Well, I know more about her than she does about me. I'll have to fix that. I need to open up to her more or I'll risk losing her forever. Ignorance destroyed my relationship with Alona…

Cadence closed her eyes for a moment. “I'm crazy for saying this, but…yeah. I'll let you ‘court' me.” She giggled. “Sorry, we just don't do things so formally here.”

He couldn't help but smile. “Then I think I'm already on the right track.”

“We…can't say anything. Not until…” Her smile faded.

“I know, not until we're sure it's working. JD won't understand.”
And neither will Jaes.

She let out a soft sigh of relief. “Come in. I'm just about to watch some TV. Not exciting, but…you can join me.”

“TV is always exciting!” Back home, there were devices that did the same thing just through a different method of functionality. On the ship, there was only one screen to be shared with all of the juniors on board. Technically, he had a television in his apartment but he didn't feel like he earned the right to use it. Sometimes when he visited Earth, he sat down and watched a show, curious about what the people there thought interesting. Most of the content was the same. It was another small touch of home, and one he was happy to partake in with Cadence.

Alan sat down on her couch while she went to get beverages in the kitchen. When she returned to sit next to him, he tentatively put an arm around her, not sure how much he was allowed to touch her just yet. The distance between them was comfortable. And they both were allowed to just be themselves for once.

Nerves churned his stomach all the same. There was no going back. All he could hope was that going forward wouldn't ruin everything he'd been working so hard to build.