Forth into Light (The Peter & Charlie Trilogy) (25 page)

When they were alone, he stood in front of her and held out his hand with a smile, looking at her with the directness of established friendship, the way he had looked at her from the start. “So now do we beard Mike Cochran?”

She took his hand with an answering smile, accepting him as a friend. “I suppose we should. It’s been such a lovely evening. I don’t want him to spoil it.”

He led her down through the house, comfortable now about touching her, putting his arm lightly around her waist, taking her arm, holding her hand, accustoming himself to the slight, exquisite feel of her body. Not far along the rough road outside, there was a low wall where land fell away steeply to the sea. He stopped and turned her to him and bent and kissed her mouth. She seemed to expect it and responded easily, but she didn’t let her body go to him nor did he attempt to draw her to him. He pulled his head back after a moment and looked at her. Light from a street lamp fell on them. He put a hand on her waist and slipped the other into his pocket to arrange himself more comfortably. She had a very basic effect on him.

“I’ve been longing for that since noon,” he said. “Your mouth was made for me to kiss. You may not have realized it, but it’s a fact.”

“You’re such fun and so nice.” It was a simple statement without any embellishments or hidden meanings.

“Do you understand everything now?”

“Quite a lot, I think. Martha’s in love with Charlie.”

“Bang on.”

“And you and Charlie are beautifully in love with each other.”

“Thanks for putting it like that. We have no secrets from you.”

“Have I from you? Haven’t you guessed that I’ve been known to be attracted to girls?”

“Really? We’re a couple of queers?” He laughed, mostly at himself for resenting her admission. Here he was all steamed up and she might not be even faintly interested. At least she didn’t seem to mind being kissed. He put his arms around her and pulled her to him and indulged his passion for her mouth. He held her close this time, so that she was bound to feel his hard sex against her. He was careful not to move it suggestively so as not to give her the impression that he regarded it as something to make a fuss about. He would be quite content to do everything with his mouth if that was what she preferred. He caressed breasts that seemed to strain now against her shirt. Their kiss grew breathless and their mouths parted, but Peter still held her close against him. “Are you as broadminded about heterosexuality as I am?” he asked, his smile almost touching her lips.

She touched the side of his face with her fingers and the light caught the uncertainty in her eyes behind her smile. “I think that’s the part I don’t understand.”

“About us? About me? It’s simple. Believe it or not, this is the first time I’ve felt it, the whole breathless works with a girl, the hot pursuit, the way it used to be sometimes with a boy. If you were a boy, I’d have locked myself in the house and not come out until I was sure you were off the island. What about you? Do you like men at all, or am I an exception? I mean, something seems to be happening between us.”

She put a hand on his chest and moved her fingers slightly as if testing her reaction to him. “You’re certainly an exception. I can’t help thinking of them back there. Tell me a little more.”

“You don’t have to worry about the family. I’m in love with Charlie. You know that. Otherwise, it’s all wide open. He knows what I’m up to. He doesn’t mind about girls. As for Martha, I’m just a technical husband, as you can see. You make me feel as if I was made to make love to you. I’d like you to love it, too. I’ll certainly try if you’ll let me.”

She looked up at him thoughtfully but with a twinkle of humor. “I’ve tried with men often enough, God knows, but it’s never quite worked. I’m always thrilled when I think it might. With you, I’m more than just thrilled. Electrified, maybe.”

“That sounds good. Will we be all right on your yacht?”

“Oh, yes. The yacht. I’d forgotten all about it. Maybe being on a yacht will make all the difference.” A spurt of laughter burst from her. “The way I looked at you this afternoon seems to have been true, even if I didn’t know I was doing it. You
are
the most sensational man I’ve ever laid eyes on.” She lifted a hand and stroked the golden hair over his ears with her fingertips. She lowered her hand and laid her forefinger briefly on his lips. She pressed her open palm flat against his chest. She dropped her hand to his sex and let her fingers stray along it and looked into his eyes with a hint of mockery. “You men. My, my, my. Isn’t there rather a lot of it?”

“Whatever there is, that’s it. You make it work at full capacity. We can pretend it isn’t there if you want.”

Her laughter broke from her freely. “That would require a good deal of pretending. I’m suppressing a shameful urge to unfasten your fly. How’s that for heterosexuality? I want to see it, and all of you. Such a struggle not to keep my eyes glued to you all evening. I’ve never wanted so badly to see a man naked.”

Peter lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers as he spoke through them. “Well, that’s settled. I’m glad our minds are running along the same track. It saves so much time. Frankly, I can’t possibly keep my mind on Raoul’s pictures. I hope Cochran doesn’t keep us too long.”

It was an effort to break the intimacy their bodies were creating, but he took her arm and they found a rhythm that was a foretaste of physical union as they descended the rough steps down to town. They were silent, their bodies instinctively moving toward each other and finding excuses for contact. An uneven step brought their hands flying together. A rock in the path obliged Peter to put his arm around her. It was definitely cooler. For the first time that day, he wasn’t sweating.

They found the port swarming with life. A hum of talk and laughter rose from it. Peter waved to many people as they made their way along the front looking for George and Cochran. He spotted Sarah with Sid at Lambraiki’s, but Cochran wasn’t there and they went on. Peter’s eyes conscientiously searched the crowd, but his heart wasn’t set on finding the visiting celebrity; it seemed much more important to get Judy to the yacht. There was only one more place to look and then they would be free to concentrate on each other.

Rounding the bend in the
quai
and approaching the
Meltemi
, Peter saw him sitting out in front with the little Swiss faggot. Dimitri stood over him. As Peter watched Dimitri leaned closer, flirtatiously, and said something. He straightened and he and Cochran burst out laughing. Peter remembered something he had heard in New York. If that was the way the land lay, what about poor Jeff? When he was close enough to see the expression in Cochran’s eyes, he knew that Jeff was going to have some heavy competition. He smiled to himself. He rarely thought about it socially, but he always felt a small special confidence doing business with people who shared his sexual tastes. It shouldn’t be difficult to find out if Mike knew something about Raoul’s pictures.

He turned to Judy. “I’ve forgotten. Did you say you’d already met him?”

“Very casually at a party the other day.”

“Well, I think he knows me. He looks slightly occupied. Maybe we should leave serious talk till tomorrow. Do you mind?”

Judy laughed softly. “I told you what I’m thinking of. More and more. It’s quite indecent.”

Peter gave her hand a squeeze and nodded to Dimitri as they came to a halt in front of Mike’s table. Cochran glanced up and then sprang to his feet and greeted Peter with slightly self-conscious charm. Embarrassed at being caught at play? “I’ve been planning to look you up if I didn’t run into you,” he said. Peter pronounced Judy’s name and Mike took her hand and held it lingeringly. “Of course. We met in Athens. I’m not likely to forget a face like that.”

They exchanged additional pleasantries, but Mike didn’t invite them to sit nor did he introduce his little Swiss friend. They all obviously had their minds on other matters.

“We hoped you’d come up for dinner if you’re staying a day or two,” Peter said.

“It’s very kind of you. Actually, I’m a great fan of your friend or cousin or whatever he is—Charlie Mills-Martin. My ex-wife’s ex-husband. We have something in common. It would be an honor, but I’m afraid I’ll be going along tomorrow.”

“What a shame.”

“I’ve been hoping to take advantage of your being here to get some expert advice. I picked up a few pictures in Athens under rather odd circumstances. If it wouldn’t bore you, I’d like to know what you think of them.”

“You brought them out here with you?”

“Easier to travel with them than arrange some place to leave them. Besides, the whole deal has been like that—sort of——”

He was interrupted by Dimitri who moved in between them and put a hand on each of their shoulders. “Please, Peter. Why you don’t sit with your friend? I bring you drinks. The lady——”

Peter shrugged the hand off. “That’s all right, Dimitri,” he said pointedly. “We’ll let you know if we want anything.”

“But of course you must join me. By all means. Let me buy you a drink.” Mike was cordial, but it was clear he wouldn’t mind if they refused. He ducked down around Peter to pick up his drink. As he did so, he murmured close to Peter’s ear, “A very tasty piece.”

“Trouble,” Peter said as Mike straightened. The latter shot him an amused, worldly-wise look and touched Peter’s arm to acknowledge the warning. Peter liked him better than he had on previous meetings. He seemed more natural; perhaps he was glad of a chance to let his hair down. He was very good-looking in a hard masculine way. Peter’s smile was open and friendly. “It’s awfully crowded here. Why don’t I come by the hotel tomorrow—noon, say?—and have a look. They’re not antiquities, are they?”

“No. French Impressionists. That’s my line.”

“Good. You wouldn’t believe the things they palm off as antiquities here. Really scandalous.”

They exchanged a few more friendly words, including Judy in the date for tomorrow, and parted on the best of terms.

“He seems more than ready to show us what he’s bought,” Judy remarked as they strolled on. “They’re probably not the Bertin pictures at all.”

“At least, they’re French. Whatever they are, I’m afraid nobody’s particularly interested in them tonight.” Peter laughed. “We’re all so funny, smiling like mad and dying to get on with the action.”

“I didn’t realize about him,” Judy said.

“I’ve heard it.”

“And all those wives? You men do make life complicated for yourselves. Poor Mr. Thornton. I can’t help knowing a good deal about him.”

“Yeah. Poor Tim. He’s never been lucky. He’d had a rough time even before he met me.”

“You mean, you and he——”

“Oh, very much so. A big affair. The only one I thought might be for life. I never count Charlie. He
is
my life. That’s never changed even when Charlie was married, but it might’ve worked with Tim if Charlie hadn’t wanted me back.” Peter uttered a single note of rueful laughter. “The only way I could forgive myself for ditching him was to swear to make it perfect from then on with Charlie.”

“You’ve obviously succeeded.”

“We’ve come pretty damn close.” Thinking of Tim brought sober thoughts about Judy. Had he made it absolutely clear to her how things stood? It was all very well to talk about everything being “wide open,” but he didn’t like playing with people’s feelings. Judy seemed very self-possessed and level-headed. It wasn’t likely that she would suddenly fall in love with a man——Enough of that. The idea of her falling in love with him gave him an egotistical little thrill, but he would take care that she didn’t. It wouldn’t be any good for either of them.

As if sensing some withdrawal in him, she said, “If you’ve got perfection, what’s the point of anybody else? What’s the point of me?”

He looked at her. Her face was averted from him and light from somewhere picked out her exquisite profile from the dark. “Maybe you’re part of the perfection,” he said, seizing the opportunity to eliminate any possibility of ambiguity. “What do you think about fidelity? Do you think two people can be faithful to each other for life? I did but then I lost my head over a silly French boy so I don’t count. Charlie thought we’d be more and more unfaithful as time went by, but he helped me discover that I’m not all queer and the problem was solved. As far as I can see, infidelity is infidelity, whether it’s with a girl or a boy, but I don’t feel guilty with a girl because Charlie doesn’t care. He likes it. Don’t ask me why. Maybe he thinks it proves that he hasn’t perverted me. He’s never taken easily to being queer himself. I’m attracted to other people—he was right about that—but I don’t
need
anybody else. Not really. Not deep down. There are times, like today, like that French boy years ago, when it feels awfully like needing. I admit it’s surprising to feel it for a girl. I do, you know. I’d hate Charlie to know what I’m feeling right now. Not while it’s going on. I’ll tell him later, or course. Does all this sound too self-centered and impersonal? Do you want me to go away?”

She looked at him with a quick intake of breath. “No.” She exhaled with self-deprecating laughter. “How’s that for a straight answer? I’m a simple creature. You electrify me. I wouldn’t let you go even if I knew it was going to end with a broken heart. You’ve turned me into a helpless female. All I can think of is that you’re going to make it good for me for the first time. I knew you could almost from the minute I saw you.”

“I certainly want to. If the queers can’t teach the straights a thing or two, what are we good for?”

They laughed and their bodies moved close to each other again as they turned out onto the yacht mole. He was amazed at the pleasure he felt with her, the same pleasure he had felt years ago when he had found a new boy who was particularly congenial, the pleasure of establishing lines of communication that he had thought could be known and recognized only by someone of his own sex.

The gangplank was down at the big power cruiser she had indicated and the wide afterdeck was lighted. Peter saw a figure huddled in the dark bow. It stirred as they came aboard and Judy called out, “It’s all right. We don’t need anything.”