Forsaking Truth (23 page)

Tristan
lifted his shoulder in a negligent shrug, telling Finn Luke would always be
Luke.

As
the night carried on, everyone got pla
stered. Luke
made an ass out of himself, but only to the three of them who were aware of the
man he really was. At the end of the night, Ryan called his mom to come pick
them up. Tristan was glad for the audience. It gave him an excuse to go back to
Ryan’s
alone.

He
couldn’t deal with Luke when he got like that. It was insulting on so many
levels, and set them back at start. Sometimes he wondered why he even put up
with his attitude. There were days he wanted to scream for the world to hear
that he was gay.
Not to expose Luke, but to see if
Luke would stop acting like they were just friends.

In
the end, he did nothing. He loved him. He loved a man who hated the fact that
he couldn’t help but love him back.

*
*

As
winter settled in, Luke realized somet
hing about
himself. He was a jealous person. Not in the territorial sense like he was with
Tristan. If anyone tried to touch his boy he’d go on a rampage. That was that.
But this sort of jealousy was different. This was envy.

Finn
and Erin had broken up
and this time it seemed to be
for good. Luke’s twin seemed incredibly happy with the turn his life had
suddenly taken and Mallory was a new important part of it. His brother was
going to marry the girl and made no effort to hide how hard he’d fallen.

Once
Luke realized this, something hollow and
uncomfortable took shape in him. He wanted what Finn had. He wanted a spouse.

It
took him a while to pinpoint exactly what was eating him, but when he did he
was sure of it. Samantha’s little girl, Tallulah, was ano
ther new and coveted thing in Luke’s life.

His
niece, Lula, was a handful, but all she had to do was look up at him with those
dark blue McCullough eyes and he’d give her the moon. He realized he wanted
children someday too.

All
of these things, marriage,
family, were part of the
normal procession of life. But his life with Tristan didn’t allow for those
gifts. They’d never have children together and with the back and forth way the
senate worked, they’d never have a marriage—at least not the way a man and
a woman could, unanimously accepted by the world.

He
wanted Tristan and he wanted those things, but he still didn’t want the world
to know he was gay. As time went on, it became less and less about his family’s
opinions. Tristan’s importance in his life la
psed
theirs sometime over the past two and a half years.

Still,
he had this instinctive feeling that so long as they lived in Center County
they had to keep their personal life private.

He
feared if they came out something bad would happen. The world was
a fucked up place and whenever there was news about hate
crimes on TV he mourned how horrible people could truly be.

Tristan
had picked up on his surly mood. Luke didn’t want to talk about what was
bothering him, because there was really nothing Tristan co
uld do. He could promise everything would be fine, but
there was no guarantee in that. It was all just words.

He
reached a point where he thought he might be fine with telling his family, but
what if word got around and someone started shit with Tristan a
nd he wasn’t there to protect him? His biggest fear was
seeing Tristan hurt for only being who he’d always been.

Tristan
accepted his excuses not to talk about what was bothering him and eventually
stopped asking. When Mallory gifted them with more little
McCulloughs the following year, all Luke’s feelings came
hurtling back.

He
couldn’t breathe in his own skin and he needed to escape. His breaking point
came when Kelly announced he was getting married. Fucking Kelly!

Of
all the McCulloughs everyone expecte
d Kelly to remain
single the longest. Luke knew his rogue brother was changing after he ended up
in jail one night. Kelly didn’t go into much detail about the situation, but it
all had to do with a girl that had wrapped herself up in Kelly’s head and now t
hey were getting married.

Everything
was happening around them and he and Tristan seemed stuck in the same place.
Birthdays passed, babies were born, and anniversaries accumulated. It was hard
seeing everyone get together to celebrate another year gone by
when he and Tristan never did more than share a toast in
the solitude that was their life.

He
was happy, but not. He was lonely, lonely for all the small joys the others got
to share along the way. It had been years since that first kiss. His home was
no
longer new. Tristan’s belongings mixed with his.
Everything was theirs. But it wasn’t.

On
their fifth anniversary Luke decided to do something different. He needed to
commemorate how far they’d come together. On a whim, he ordered tickets to
Ireland and to
ld Tristan to take the last week of
July off.

“Why?”

Luke
left the home office with their ticket vouchers, fresh from the printer, in his
hand. “I’m taking you away.”

Tristan
smiled. “Where?”

“Ireland.
I’ve always wanted to go and I want you to come with m
e.
We can get the hell out of here and be ourselves for a while.”

“I’m
always myself, Luke.”

“We
can be together. I rented a little cottage in a village. We can visit pubs and
not worry about others seeing us.”

Tristan
drew in a slow breath, his smile fadi
ng. “I see.”

“You
don’t seem excited.”

“It
sounds like a great trip. But you know we don’t need to travel halfway around
the world to enjoy all those things.”

Luke
dropped into the chair beside him. “I know. Just…will you do this for me? I
need to get away
from here for a while.”

Tristan’s
hand rubbed over his back. “Okay. But since we’re giving anniversary presents
early, I have one for you.”

Luke
turned and grinned. “You do?”

“Of
course. You’re my ball and chain. I would never forget an anniversary.” Tris
tan stood and went to their bedroom. He returned a moment
later with a small box.

“Here.
Open it.”

It
was little and the corners of the paper were taped tight. Luke fumbled with the
wrapping and unearthed a small satin box. He snapped it open and frowned.
“What is this?”

Tristan
removed the ring and lowered to the floor in front of him. He met his gaze and
smiled nervously. “They passed the vote in Delaware. Eventually it’ll come
here. I know it will. It has to.” He licked his lips and took Luke’s hand. “I
want to marry you, Luke. I know we can’t right now, but
some day we will. Even if the senate dicks around until we’re in our sixties, I
want to still be with you then. Whether it happens next year or when we’re two
old farts who can barely get it up anymor
e, you’re
who I want to marry.”

Luke’s
heart raced. Holy shit. He was proposing? That was his job. He was pissed off
he hadn’t had the brains—or the balls—to do it first. Why hadn’t he done that?

A
coldness settled in his stomach. Because proposing to Tris
tan would mean accepting he’d never have a family like his
siblings.

“Will
you marry me?”

Luke’s
brow puckered as he sadly accepted that this was the best option life could
give him at this time. Not that Tristan wasn’t an amazing partner. He was! But
tha
t their love would have to hold on until the world
became a more accepting place. Pushing aside the injustice of their limitations
and embracing his blessings, he said, “Fucking right I’ll marry you. You’re the
love of my life.”

Tristan
sucked in a breath
and Luke realized how unsure he’d
been of his answer. “You will?”

He
nodded. “Tristan, I don’t want to live if it isn’t with you. If Pennsylvania
recognized gay marriage I’d marry you tomorrow. I hope one day they do. For
right now, though, I’ll wear your
ring and the two of
us will know that means as much as any piece of paper.”

Tristan
shot up and kissed him hard. “I love you, Luke McCullough.”

The
ring slid onto his finger. It was pretty. Brushed steel, manly, but nice. He
smiled. It looked right on his
finger. “I’m getting
you one too.”

Tristan’s
face split with a wide grin. “All right.”

That
night when they made love it was earth shattering. Tristan covered Luke like a
blanket, filling him with such tenderness, such need. When Luke took Tristan,
he was
not as refined.

He
possessed him completely, for the first time knowing there would never again be
another. This was his soul mate, his partner. His everything.

Part
III

Us

Eight months later…

“Luke!”

Tristan
turned as Kelly
shouted across the bar. The easy
mannered guy looked frazzled as he said something to Sue, the barmaid. He
rushed to their table. “Come on, get in the car. We have to go.”

Luke
stood, his face hard. “What’s happening?”

“Just
come on. I’ll explain once we’r
e on our way. Tristan,
you come too.”

They
followed Kelly to the door of O’Malley’s and jumped in his SUV. Tristan took
the front and Luke climbed in the back. Their doors were barely closed when
Kelly spun the wheel and peeled out of the parking lot.

Tri
stan’s stomach tightened. Something was majorly wrong. Did
someone die? Fuck.

“What’s
happening?” Luke shouted over the seat.

“Fucking
Sheilagh is what’s happening!” Kelly stormed, as he barreled down Main Street.

Oh God
. His heart raced. Sheilagh had gone
a bit off the deep end in the past few years. She was
twenty-four and her own person, but that didn’t make it any easier to watch her
destroy her life. Every weekend he watched her go home with some piece of shit.
Fuck! Maybe someone hadn’t died, but if a
nyone hurt
her he’d kill them.

“What
do you mean Sheilagh? Is she hurt?”

“She’s
gonna be,” Kelly growled.

“Use
fucking words we can understand, Kelly. What the fuck happened to Sheilagh?”

Kelly
yanked the wheel and they all slid with the momentum of the sp
eeding car. “I was serving up drinks when I heard Tim say
to Russ he was heading over to Puss n’ Boots tonight.”

Tristan
frowned. “What’s Puss n’ Boots?”

Kelly
didn’t answer because Luke snapped, “Get to the point!”

“They
were all going to see the newest a
ct. Some hot number
with red hair. Then the fucker turned to me and said,
Yeah,
Kelly, you probably know her. Little devil named Sheilagh.”

Luke
shouted, “Are you fucking serious?”

“What
the fuck is Puss n’ Boots?” Tristan yelled.

Luke’s
expression was not
hing but hard lines. “A fucking
strip club!”

“What?”

“Exactly,”
Kelly growled. “I’m gonna kill her.”

Tristan’s
mind reeled as they peeled into the lot of Puss n’ Boots. The place looked
disgusting even from the outside. Jesus. This was what she’d turned to
? What was she thinking? She had everything and turned her
back on all of it.
For this?

He
fumed silently as they climbed out of the car. “Are you coming?” he asked Luke
as he opened his door.

“No.
I’ll go ballistic if I see her in there traipsing around n
aked.”

“Come
on!” Kelly snapped.

Tristan slammed the
door and followed Kelly. The place smelled dank, like old booze and perverts.
They went through the back and Kelly stopped dead in his tracks. “Jesus
motherfucking Christ. I’m going to kill you.”

Tristan
couldn’t see past the door Kelly was blocking, but maybe
that was a good thing. He heard Sheilagh’s startled voice.

“Kelly! What the hell
are you doing here?”

“Cover yourself.”

“You have to leave,”
she snapped.

Kelly covered his eyes
and growled, “When I
heard you were here, I nearly
maimed a guy for spreading rumors. Then we called around and no one knew where
the hell you were. Never in my life did I think you could be this stupid. Get
your shit and get in the fucking car. We’re leaving.”

“You’re not my
father, Kelly.”

Kelly’s shoulders
shook in front of him as he snarled, “Should I go get Dad? Will that make you
leave?”

Sheilagh’s voice was
suddenly small. “You wouldn’t.”

“Try me, Sheilagh. I
am this close to losing it. Get in the fucking car.”

“No. I’m next.”

Was she out of her God
damn mind? Before Tristan could say anything, Kelly stomped into the room.
“You’re not getting on a stage and jiggling your lady bits for every pervert in
Center County. Now move!”

“Get off me!” she
screamed and Tris
tan had heard enough.

He stepped into the
room. “Kelly.”

They both stilled and
looked toward the door. Sheilagh’s face turned deep crimson. He kept his
expression calm and looked only into her eyes. His jaw locked. He wasn’t
looking, but he was certain she had little covering her.

Kelly released his
hold on her
arm. “You try talking some sense into
her,” he snapped and marched to the door.

Sheilagh looked like a
frightened cat ready to bolt. Choosing his words carefully, he pronounced each
measured syllable with a calmness he didn’t feel. “You’re not doing this,
Shei.”

“You don’t get a say
in what I do, Tristan. My days of hero worship are over.” The venom of her
words could not disguise the hurt in her voice.

He was in front of her
in two strides. In a menacingly soft voice he said, “Don’t do this, Sheilagh.
We
won’t let you. You’re better than this. Your other
brother’s in the car. Don’t make him see you like this. Let’s go.”

Her body trembled. He
didn’t need to clarify that the other brother was Luke.

Gritting her teeth,
she met his cold stare and said, “Toug
h.”

He was done arguing
with her. He plucked her up off the ground, hoisted her over his shoulder, and
marched her little ass out to the car. The door slammed and she punched his
back. “Put me down! I’m up next!”

He opened the back
door of Kelly’s SUV and
tossed her inside. She
scrambled to an upright position and he slammed the door in her face. The
second he was in, Kelly threw the car into reverse and they took off.

Luke shouted a curse
and tossed a blanket at her.

Completely enraged,
Sheilagh sat up an
d shrieked, “You have no right!”

“Shut up!” the three
of them shouted at once.

Tristan had no idea
where Kelly was taking them. He was too pissed to ask. Sheilagh kicked the back
of his seat like a little brat and he’d about had it with her shit.

“Where ar
e we going?” she asked. No one answered.

When they hit the
highway just outside of town the SUV jerked as Kelly veered off the road.
Gravel spewed under the tires as the vehicle tore onto the shoulder and he
threw the SUV in park.

No one said a word for
a
bout a minute. Tristan flinched when Luke shouted,
“Are you out of your God damn mind?”

“Oh, shut up Luke!
You
have no right to pass judgment on me!”

Kelly swiveled in his
seat, his blue eyes shining in the dark. “What did you suspect people would do
aft
er you bared your titties for the town? Praise
you? Christ, Sheilagh, use your fucking head!”

“Like you have any
room to talk, Kelly! There isn’t a woman in Center County who hasn’t seen your
wank!”

“And do you think I
didn’t pay a price for my actions, Sh
eilagh?” Kelly
stormed. “It’s like the sheep
fucker!” her brother snarled and turned toward the windshield.

What? Who was fucking sheep?

Sheilagh’s voice
echoed his thoughts.
“What?”

“Shamus the sheep
fucker!” Kelly snapped. “The old Irishman in the bar t
hat
built the church and sailed the sea, but no one remembers that because he
fucked
one
sheep.”

“No one’s fucking a
sheep, you moron!” she growled and kicked the seat again.

“Well, what do you
think people would say if you started stripping? You wouldn’t
be Sheilagh the beautiful McCullough or Sheilagh the
genius. No, you’d only be Sheilagh the stripper. Do you want that kind of
reputation?”

That was enough.
Tristan turned. “Why would you do this, Shei?”

She blinked repeatedly
and he could tell by the
tight set of her jaw she was
ready to cry. He waited. Her stubborn chin jutted out and she snidely asked,
“Why not?”

He wasn’t going to let
her bait him. “You’re better than that. You know you are.”

Luke sat, seething, as
he glared out the window and grow
led, “This is
bullshit. When are you going to grow up?”

She pivoted and
shrilled at her brother, “Me? How about you,
Luke
? When are you going to grow up? You
have an awful lot to say about how everyone lives their life, when you don’t
have the balls to let
the world see who you really
are!”

Fuck.

The car grew deathly
silent. Kelly said her name in warning, “Sheilagh.”

“No! I’m sick of it!
Just say it! Say it!”

“What do you want me to say?”
Luke turned and roared.

Tristan’s stare cut to
her and it took
everything he had not to freak out
like the rest of them. This was about her, not them! With deadly calm he had no idea how he
was maintaining, he said, “This isn’t about Luke. It never was. I’m sorry,
Sheilagh. I know this isn’t what you asked for, but s
ometimes
life is unfair.”

She glared back at
him. “I wanna go home.”

No one said anything
for several seconds. “You’re going away,” Kelly finally announced.

“What?” she snapped,
panic in her voice.

They’d all sat by and
watched her blow her potential over
the last six
years. Kelly was right. It was time for her to leave.

“You’re going to
college. There’s nothing for you here and you know it. It’s time for you to get
on with your life and make something of yourself.”

“You don’t get to
decide for me, Kelly.”

Luke turned to her.
“Stop being a brat. Do you have any idea what kind of opportunities you have?
You don’t know what it’s like to have such potential snatched away.”

“I really don’t care what any of you
think. This is my life—”

“Then do something with it
!”
Luke snarled. “You haven’t done shit since you graduated.
What are you waiting for?”

Kelly stared out at
the road and quietly said, “Here’s how this is going to roll. You’re going to
get dressed and we’re going to take you home. Tomorrow, you’re going t
o fill out applications and this fall you
will
be enrolling in
college. You either agree to that, here and now, or we drive your ass right to
Dad.”

When she didn’t reply,
Kelly barked, “Do we have a deal?”

Tristan continued to
watch her. She was obviously
using all the strength
she had not to break in front of them. “Sheilagh, do this for yourself. You
deserve better than the life you’ve been leading. Go be something amazing,
because the rest of us don’t have the gifts you have.”

A tear tumbled past
her las
hes and she batted it away.

“We’re all scared,
Sheilagh,” Luke softly said and Tristan’s heart pinched. He hadn’t let her get
to him with head games and that was huge. “No one ever truly gets what they
want in life. You need to do this. You need to get ou
t
of here and make something of yourself.”

There was no more
talking after that. Sheilagh turned her stare out the window. Luke did the
same. Kelly drove. And Tristan wondered at the words his partner had just used.
No one ever truly gets what they want in
life.