Forgotten Memories (SWAT: Top Cops Book 4) (11 page)

Dear Lord, please heal Brandon’s injuries and keep me and Shane safe in Your care. Amen.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Shane squeezed her hand and she glanced at him in surprise.

“Gabby, would you please attend church with me today? There’s a ten o’clock service that we should be able to make in plenty of time.”

“I’d like that,” she agreed, touched by his offer. She tried to tell herself not to make a big deal out of his invitation, but it wasn’t easy. She knew Shane probably didn’t want to skip the service, so of course he’d ask her to go along rather than leave her alone in a motel room.

Still, the satisfied expression on his handsome face made her wonder if Shane might actually want her to be with him on a personal level. Oddly enough, she found she liked the idea of being more to him than just another responsibility.

He exited the freeway and then turned to head south. Soon he pulled into the driveway of a chain restaurant that specialized in making breakfast.

“I hope you’re hungry, because I guarantee Nate is going to order breakfast.”

Her stomach growled with anticipation. “I am,” she confessed.

They headed inside the restaurant and she easily caught sight of Nate seated in a booth along the north wall. He waved them over.

Gabby took the seat across from him, hyperaware of Shane as he slid in beside her. Their server hurried over holding a pot of black coffee.

“Yes, please,” Gabby said gratefully as she pushed her cup over.

Their server filled up their mugs and then handed out menus. “I’ll be back in a few minutes to take your order.”

Gabby added a liberal dose of cream to her mug before taking a sip.

“Did you bring me a different set of wheels?” Shane asked.

“Yep.” Nate slid a key fob across the table. “Don’t be upset, it’s a nine-year-old car that my aunt Margaret agreed to let me borrow for a few days.”

“Thanks,” Shane said, taking the keys. “Did you bring clothes for me, too?”

“In the car,” his buddy confirmed.

Gabby watched Nate warily, wondering if he still believed the worst about her. The way he’d interrogated her during that so-called interview still rankled.

She lowered her gaze to the menu, determined not to let Nate’s suspicions ruin her appetite.

“Thanks,” Shane said. “Be careful driving my car back to headquarters. I have to believe Creighton saw me outside Gabby’s call room, and if he knows who I am, then it’s highly likely he has the license plate number of my vehicle, too.”

“I can handle it,” Nate assured him. “I’ve convinced Griff to put your vehicle through its annual maintenance check a few months early. That way no one else will be driving it, either.”

“Good. That’s good.” Shane glanced down at his menu. “I’m hungry. I think I’ll have the full Irish breakfast.”

“Me, too,” Nate agreed. For the first time since she sat down, he looked at her directly. “Are you ready to order?”

“Yes. I’ll have the breakfast special.” She closed her menu just as their server returned.

When they were alone once again, Nate eyed her over the brim of his coffee mug. “I have some interesting information.”

Tiny alarm bells went off in the back of her mind.

“What?” Shane demanded, leaning across the table toward him. “Did you find Eric Ambrose?”

Nate grimaced. “Not yet. We’re still looking though. The information I have is on Gabby’s father, Travis Fielding.”

The knot in her stomach tightened and the headache that she’d pushed out of the way after her nightmare came back with a vengeance.

“Gabby, did you know your father was a certified public accountant?”

She frowned. “Yes, so what?”

“Apparently he worked for one of the largest casinos in Las Vegas before he allegedly died of a heart attack. But here’s the thing. Why would you and your mother be taken into witness protection after your father’s death if he only died of a heart attack? I’m not buying it. I think it’s more likely that your father was involved in something illegal.”

The pounding in her temples intensified, but since she was blocked in the booth by Shane, there was no way to flee.

To escape.

She knew Shane and Nate wanted to know what she remembered, but that was the problem. She didn’t remember anything related to her father’s death.

Obviously, Shane was right. She needed to find a way to get past the headaches to find the truth.

Before it was too late.

ELEVEN

S
hane glanced at Gabby, wishing there was something he could do to erase the pinched expression on her face.

To ease the shadow of pain in her luminous green eyes.

But he also couldn’t ignore the truth in Nate’s words. It was likely that Travis Fielding had been involved in something illegal, otherwise there would have been no reason to place Gabby and her mother in witness protection.

But why would anyone wait twenty-one years to come after her? It still didn’t make sense.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Gabby whispered, pressing her fingertips against the sides of her temples. “I don’t remember anything other than what I’ve already told you.”

“It’s okay,” Shane murmured, putting his arm protectively around her shoulders and ignoring Nate’s pointed gaze. He understood his buddy was suspicious, but there was no way Gabby was faking these headaches.

“I need to use the restroom,” she whispered again.

Shane didn’t want Gabby to be alone, but there wasn’t much he could do to stop her from leaving. And maybe she needed a few minutes to pull herself together. He slid out of the booth, allowing her room to get out. When Gabby headed toward the restrooms, he slid back in and glared at Nate.

“What’s your problem?” he demanded. “Why do you believe she’s involved in this?”

“
You’re
the problem,” Nate accused. “You’re too emotionally involved with her. She was kidnapped at gunpoint, wasn’t she? Therefore she’s involved.”

Shane suppressed a sigh. “Yeah, but she’s the victim. This isn’t like you, Nate. You’re normally a huge advocate for victims. What’s really going on?”

Nate paused for a moment and shrugged. “Okay, fine. You want to know what’s going on? I’m worried about you. Right from the beginning you’ve been on her side. You’re the new guy on the team and I want to be sure you’re looking at this investigation through impartial eyes.”

Shane conceded that Nate had a point. “All right, I can appreciate that. But you have to trust me on this. Gabby is a victim. She’s dedicated her life to saving trauma patients. Why would she throw all of that away on something illegal?”

“I don’t know,” Nate admitted.

“She wouldn’t,” Shane said firmly. “Gabby suffered through a difficult childhood and still managed to come out on top. She paid her stepfather’s mortgage because of a deathbed promise to her mother. I’m telling you, she has too much integrity to be involved in something illegal.”

A faint smile flashed across Nate’s features. “But you’re not too personally invested in her, right?”

Touché, Shane thought wryly. “I care about her as someone who needs protection, nothing more. I’m dedicated to keeping her safe until we get Creighton or whoever hired him behind bars.”

“So this isn’t the same way you were dedicated to helping your former fiancée, Linda? The same woman who later walked away, stating that she’d mistaken her tender feelings toward you for love, when in fact she was just grateful for your help.”

His mouth tightened. “She did more than walk away, she
cheated
on me.”

“Yeah, but that was only because she didn’t really love you. She appreciated your protection, but being grateful isn’t being in love.”

Shane dropped his gaze to stare into his coffee mug. “Linda was a cop, just like me. She didn’t need protection, not the same way Gabby does.”

“But she was in an abusive relationship, wasn’t she?” his friend pressed. “And you can’t deny you were helping to keep her safe from her ex-boyfriend.”

No, he couldn’t deny it. But no matter what Nate thought, he wasn’t making the same mistake with Gabby.

Deep down Shane knew that there couldn’t be anything more than friendship between them. Had been telling himself that from the beginning, the night she was kidnapped right before his eyes.

So why had he kissed her?

Shane shoved a hand through his hair. Truthfully? He had no idea. But as wonderful as it had been to feel his lips brush against hers, he absolutely couldn’t do that again. He needed to remember that as soon as they found Creighton, he and Gabby would go their separate ways.

Because Nate was right. Gratitude was a poor substitute for love.

* * *

Gabby walked back out to the table just as their server was bringing breakfast. The concerned expression in Shane’s intense blue eyes warmed her heart. At least he believed in her.

Shane scooted over to give her room. Then he bowed his head for a moment and silently prayed. She noticed Nate waited for him to finish, the same way she did, before digging into his food.

Her appetite had waned beneath the weight of her headache, but she forced herself to try to eat.

“I wish we could find Ambrose,” Shane muttered darkly. “The timing of Gabby’s kidnapping in conjunction with the lawsuit is suspicious. I can’t help thinking he might be the one behind all this.”

Nate nodded. “You could be right. And we
are
trying to find him. I’ve asked both the Illinois state troopers and the Chicago PD to be on alert, but so far we haven’t heard anything.”

“Gabby, would you mind sharing those notes you kept related to Ambrose and Chasco?” Shane asked.

“No, I don’t mind,” she agreed warily, even though she didn’t particularly want to read through them again. “But I don’t know that they’ll be any help since the events happened four years ago. Besides, the notes are in a safe-deposit box that we won’t be able to access until tomorrow.”

“All right, maybe we can do that in the morning, as soon as the banks open.” Shane reached over to pour ketchup on his hash browns. “Maybe they won’t help, but reviewing them might give us a better picture of Ambrose.”

She didn’t necessarily agree but wouldn’t stand in Shane’s way, either. Silence fell as the guys concentrated on their breakfast while she picked at her food.

Their server came back to refill their coffee mugs and to set the bill on the table. Nate picked it up and reached for his wallet.

“I can get it,” Shane protested.

“Nope. No paper trail with your name on it,” the other man said firmly. “I’ll give you whatever cash I have on hand, too.”

Gabby glanced up at Nate, who was regarding her steadily. “Thank you,” she said in a quiet tone. “I appreciate everything you’re doing for me.”

There was a pause before Nate inclined his head. “You’re welcome.”

“Are you finished?” Shane frowned at her half-eaten food.

“Almost.” She did her best to eat as much as possible before pushing her plate away.

Nate gave them the make and model of his aunt’s car before he walked over to the cashier to pay the bill. Shane rested his hand on the small of her back as they walked outside.

“That must be it,” he said, steering her toward an older-model sedan. Nate’s aunt must take good care of her cars, because there wasn’t a speck of rust on the body, despite the vehicle’s age.

Shane glanced at his watch. “We have about an hour and a half until church starts. How about we see if we can secure the motel rooms? I know it’s early, but it’s worth a shot.”

“All right,” she agreed. Gabby folded her hands in her lap, not sure what to expect from going to church services with Shane. Normally she avoided listening to people preaching at her. But then again, she found it difficult to believe Shane would like something like that, too.

She rested against the seat cushions as he drove. Closing her eyes and doing her deep-breathing exercises helped to ease her headache. When she opened her eyes, she was surprised to discover that thirty minutes had passed.

“This is it,” Shane said, gesturing to the motel on the left-hand side of the road.

Beyond the motel, she could see a white church steeple rising above the trees rippling with red, orange, yellow and green leaves. Autumn was her favorite time of year.

Shane pulled into the small carport in front of the hotel lobby. They walked inside, Shane an impressive sight in his black SWAT uniform.

“I need connecting rooms, please,” he told the woman behind the counter. “Preferably on the ground floor.”

The woman checked her computer. “I do have connecting rooms available but check-in time is normally at three o’clock in the afternoon.”

“I understand, but couldn’t you make an exception if the rooms are already vacant?” Shane pressed.

The woman glanced at his badge and then nodded. “Sure, I guess so.”

Shane smiled. “Thanks,” he said and she noticed he slipped her an extra twenty. “I’d also like to pay with cash, please.”

The woman insisted on checking his ID, but Gabby was surprised she’d agreed to his paying with cash. Amazing what a good-looking man in a cop uniform could get you.

Ten minutes later, she dropped her duffel bag on the bed and glanced curiously around the room. Nothing special, but it was clean, so she had no right to complain.

Gabby unpacked her bag, wondering if she should change for church or not. Her black stretch pants and green sweater were more casual, but surely better than jeans.

She drew the cedar box out of her bag. A light rap on the connecting door startled her enough that she almost dropped it. She carefully set the box on the bedside table before crossing over and opening the door.

Shane stood there, still wearing his uniform. “Hi. I’m going to take a quick shower, and then we can walk over to church, okay?”

“Sure,” she agreed. “Am I dressed all right?”

He smiled reassuringly. “You’re perfect. Nate provided me jeans and a sweater, so I’ll be more casual than you are. Just give me ten to fifteen minutes, all right?”

“Of course.” She left the door ajar and then went back to unpacking. She needed to call her boss, Jonathan Murray, chief of trauma surgery, to let him know she needed some time off work. She picked up the motel phone but then replaced it.

Maybe it would be better to use Shane’s phone to make the call since she also needed to find out how Brandon was doing.

Remaining patient wasn’t easy, and soon she found herself pacing the width of the motel room. How was she going to manage being off work for any length of time? Would Shane allow her to go out for a run after church? Watching television was of no interest, and she hadn’t brought her latest murder mystery to read.

Shane knocked again on the connecting door and then pushed it open. He looked absolutely amazing in his cable-knit sweater and black jeans, his face freshly shaved and his dark hair still damp from his shower.

For a moment she stared at him, her tongue seemingly glued to the top of her mouth. What was wrong with her? She’d seen plenty of handsome men before. Several of the physicians she worked with were good-looking.

But there was only one Shane Hawkins.

“Ready to go?” he asked.

She managed to nod in agreement and hoped he didn’t notice her warm face. When they walked outside, Shane reached for her hand and she didn’t pull away, even though she knew she should.

The walk to church didn’t take long, and for some reason most of her anxiety about attending services seemed to vanish as they approached the pretty white church with the beautiful stained-glass windows. Everyone was so friendly, calling out greetings as they walked up to the door.

“Shane!” His sister, Leah, waved at them from a pew near the front of the church and Gabby could see that Isaac and Ben were there, too. Shane tugged her forward, obviously intending to join them.

“Gabby, it’s so good to see you!” Leah gave her a quick hug. “You remember my husband, Isaac? And my son, Ben?”

“Yes, of course.” She shook Isaac’s hand and smiled when Shane lifted Ben up to give him a hug. When he set Ben back down on his feet, he greeted Isaac like a brother. Of course, they were brothers by marriage, but there was obviously a deep friendship between the two men as well.

Somehow, she found herself sandwiched between Leah and Shane as the choir began to sing. Gabby let the music wash over her, filling her with a wonderful sense of peace. Listening to the words of the opening hymn, she couldn’t deny feeling a sense of belonging, and not just because she was standing here with friends. But because she was surrounded by people who believed in God.

She couldn’t help wondering what her childhood would have been like if she’d been exposed to church and faith. Granted, it wouldn’t have changed the way her stepfather had treated her, or the environment she’d lived in at boarding school, but she doubted she would have felt so alone.

With Mary Jane Pollard as her only ally.

The theme of the pastor’s sermon was faithfulness, and one particular passage from Psalms struck a chord, resonating deep within.

Do not withhold your mercy from me, Lord; may Your love and faithfulness always protect me
(Psalm 40:11).

The thought of having God’s love with her at all times was humbling. When it came time to recite the Lord’s Prayer, she was finally able to let go of the resentment she’d been holding against Richard. She found herself hoping that her stepfather would rest in peace.

She tried, really tried, to release the anger she harbored toward Damon, but couldn’t quite let it go. She felt bad about that, and hoped that over time she’d grow better at praying and following God’s word.

When the final hymn was over, she reluctantly followed Shane out of the church, knowing deep in her heart that she’d like nothing better than to return for services next Sunday.

“So how are things going, Gabby?” Leah asked when they made it outside. “I know it’s been crazy busy at work.”

For the first time in a long time, her job wasn’t in the forefront of her mind. “Yes, it’s been busy,” she agreed. “But I’m off for the next few days, so hopefully I’ll be refreshed by the time I go back.”

“Any big plans?” Shane’s sister asked, her curious gaze bouncing between Gabby and Shane.

“No special plans,” she assured her. And, thankfully, Leah didn’t ask anything more.

“Uncle Shane, don’t you want to come to Toyland with us?” Ben asked.

“Maybe next time, buddy,” Shane said, ruffling Ben’s hair. “Have fun with your mom and dad, okay?”

“Okay.” The little boy waved and then ran after Leah and Isaac as they walked back to their car.