Forgotten (16 page)

“
You’re
what?”
Emily choked and
half-laughed through her tears.

Kate smiled. “It’s just a saying. But
really, I’m okay. And we’re going to get this whole mess
straightened out. Commander Sylvan is sending me and Rone to some
resort called Flame and Frost.”

“
Flame and Frost?”
Tragar’s black eyebrows shot up in apparent surprise. “He’s sending
you
there?”

“
Why? What have you heard
about it?” Kate frowned. “Commander Sylvan says it’s my only chance
to get back my memory.”

“
If he said it then I’m
sure it must be true,” Emily said reassuringly. “We haven’t known
him long but he has a sterling reputation as a doctor. I’m
so
glad he’s helping
you. So when are you going?”

“
Well…this afternoon, I
think.” Kate tried to smile. “Apparently it’s going to help us,
uh
reconnect.”

Emily gave her a worried frown.

“
You don’t sound very
happy about that. Want to talk about it?”

“
Uh…” It was strange—Kate
wasn’t normally one to open up to strangers. But somehow, even
though she didn’t remember Emily, she felt as though she knew
her.
You can trust her,
the Knowing whispered inside her head.
She’s all right.

“
Come on…” Emily was
already pulling her over to a couch in the corner of the large
conference room. “Let’s have some girl talk.”

“
I will go find Rone and
see if he needs help preparing his ship,” Tragar murmured
tactfully. “I will see you later in our guest suite, all right,
my
Khalla?”

“
Of course.” Emily gave
him a loving smile and then turned her focus back on Kate. “Okay
now, tell me what’s wrong. Why don’t you want to get back with
Rone?”

“
It’s not that I don’t
want to get back with him—it’s that I don’t
know
him.” Kate sighed and raked a
hand through her curly hair. “I feel like he just dropped into my
life with all these demands and expectations and he keeps talking
about this life we had and all the things we did together and I
can’t remember
any
of it. I feel like…like my former self was this impossibly
wonderful wife. How can I live up to that? How can I be the person
he wants me to be for him when I don’t even know him?”

“
Oh, sweetie…” Emily
grabbed both her hands and squeezed tight. “I understand
completely—it’s terrible when everyone expects you to be something
or someone you have no idea how to be.”

“
You understand? You’ve
had…a similar experience?”

Emily laughed. “Have I
ever! Look, it’s a long story but I didn’t always look like this.”
She gestured at herself. “I wasn’t too much taller than you and I
had pale blue eyes and dishwater blonde hair and then I
changed.”

“
Uh, you did? You grew a
foot and your eyes and hair changed color?” Kate couldn’t quite
keep the skepticism from her voice. It seemed impossible even
though the Knowing told her it was true. Also, she could feel the
truth of Emily’s words through their clasped hands. But still…it
was
weird.

Emily laughed. “You sound
like my older sister, Anna, when I had to convince her. But yes, I
changed that much. Because I’m a
Khalla—
a female Beast Kindred. We’re
really rare and if Tragar hadn’t found me and recognized what I
was, the change would have killed me. Anyway…” She sat up a little
straighter. “Everyone around me kept telling me I was this
marvelous, rare thing—this fabulous
Khalla
and they had all these
expectations of me that I didn’t know how to fulfill. It was making
me crazy for a while. So yes, I understand what you’re going
through—at least in part. It’s hard and confusing and really
upsetting.”

“
Yes, exactly!” Kate
nodded. “And it doesn’t help that every time I get too near Rone or
accidentally touch him I have a panic attack,” she
added.

“
You
do?
You can’t even
touch
him?” Emily’s eyes
filled with sorrow. “Oh Kate, I’m so sorry! Nobody told me that.
And after the way the two of you used to be together…”

“
How
did
we used to be together?” Kate
couldn’t help asking. “I mean, I know what Rone thinks but I’d
really like an outsider’s opinion.”

“
Honey, the two of you
were
so
in love,”
Emily said softly. “I mean, seriously, Tragar and I are newlyweds
but you guys really gave us a run for our money.”

“
You mean we were always…”
Kate’s throat felt tight and she couldn’t finish her
sentence.

“
Always sneaking off for
some ‘alone time’,” Emily finished for her. “And sometimes you
didn’t even make it to your rooms! I remember one time we caught
the two of you out under the full moon making love in the middle of
the temple gardens.”

“
Um…having sex in a public
place? That doesn’t sound like me at all.” Kate frowned.

“
Well, you said something
like that when you apologized for it the next day,” Emily remarked.
“But you told me it had to do with the moon and something Rone had
called the, uh, the
hunger
I think it was. Something about how he needed you
more at certain times or something.”

“
The
hunger?”
Kate frowned. “What is
that, anyway? I heard a little bit about it but I don’t understand
it at all.”

“
I don’t really understand
it either,” Emily confessed. “I think it might have something to do
with how Wulven Kindred have bonding sex with their
mates.”

“
Bonding sex? What’s
that?” Kate demanded.

“
It’s making love in a way
that ties the two of you together permanently and forms the mental
bond between you,” Emily said. “It’s different for every kind of
Kindred.”

“
Well what is it like for
Wulven Kindred?” Kate couldn’t help the uneasy feeling that rose in
her at the idea of making love with the big Kindred who was
supposed to be her husband.

“
I don’t honestly know.
All I know is that Wulvens are supposed to be incredibly dangerous
to everyone but their mate. Lots of the other Kindred won’t even
associate with them because of it.”

“
Really?” Kate was feeling
more and more uneasy. “And what happens when the bond between a
Wulven and his mate gets broken?”

“
Oh, it can’t get broken,”
Emily said confidently. “That’s impossible.”

“
It happened to us—to Rone
and me,” Kate said quietly. “Or if it’s not broken, it’s buried so
deep we can’t access it. That’s what Rone says, anyway.”

“
Oh, no…” Emily put a hand
to her mouth. “Oh, Kate, I’m so
sorry
. Tragar was afraid something
like that might happen—he said the two of you had an incomplete
bond.”

Kate frowned. Hadn’t the priestess in the
Sacred Grove said something like that as well to Rone the night
before? And she’d said that Kate would have to tame Rone’s Beast
too—an idea he had been adamantly opposed to. But what did it all
mean?

“
Well, I don’t know what
we can do about it now except try to get it fixed,” she said at
last. “Which we’re going to do, so…”

“
Still…I just…I still feel
terrible.” Emily sighed and pressed her hands. “About your
memory…your broken bond…and especially about the touching thing.
You say that just being near him freaks you out?”

“
Something like that.”
Kate shifted uncomfortably. “Commander Sylvan says it’s the fear
toxins in my system. “Were…” She cleared her throat. “Were Rone and
I really
that
close?”

“
You were all
over
each other. Not
just for sex though,” Emily told her. “It was more than that. It
was like you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Rone was
always holding you in his lap and carrying you around…”

“
Really?” Kate frowned.
“Now that
really
doesn’t sound like me. I mean, I know with my size a lot of
guys would like to pick me up like I’m a doll but I don’t go for
that. I’ve always been one to stand on my own two feet.”

“
I don’t know…” Emily
shrugged helplessly. “All I can tell you is what I saw before you
got snatched away. And you guys were literally
always
touching each
other.”

“
I see.” Kate bit her lip.
At least this explained some of why Rone was so upset that she
couldn’t touch him. Apparently they had been a very affectionate
couple. Actually, he was extremely handsome…so big and strong and
muscular with that thick, black hair and those piercing blue
eyes…she could see how touching him would be nice. If it didn’t
give her a panic attack, that was.

“
He loves you, Kate,”
Emily said earnestly. “And deep down, I believe you still love him
too. Maybe this resort—this Flame and Frost place—can help you
remember it.”

“
Maybe,” Kate murmured.
“It would be nice not to freak out every time I got near him. And
he seems really sweet and caring, I just…I don’t
know
him, Emily. And
it’s really hard to trust that—”

“
Kate?” Just then Rone and
Tragar came back into the conference room.

Kate jumped guiltily, wondering if the big
Kindred had heard her.

“
Right here,” she said, a
little too brightly. “What’s going on?”

“
We are ready to go.” Rone
nodded at her. “I have your bag packed and loaded in the
shuttle.”

“
Oh—okay. I thought we
weren’t leaving until this afternoon.”

“
We weren’t.” He sighed.
“But I thought, the sooner we get there…”

“
The sooner we can get
this whole mess cleared up. Right.” Kate nodded, feeling a flutter
in her stomach. She couldn’t believe she was really going to do
this—couldn’t believe she’d agreed to go to a couples resort in a
whole other solar system light years from Earth with a husband she
didn’t remember and was scared to death to touch.

But how else am I going to get my memory
back? How else am I going to get my life back on track?

There was no other way. She was going.

“
All right then. We’d
better go.” Rone reached out a hand to help her up, apparently by
reflex, and then drew back quickly. Emily saw his hand clench into
a fist at his side and a look of frustration passed over his face.
“Come on,” he said shortly.

“
Coming.” She got up on
her own, trying not to be too obvious about the fact that she was
keeping some distance between them. “Let’s go.”

“
Wait!” Emily jumped up as
well and pulled her into a tight hug. “You’re going to be okay, I
know you are,” she whispered in Kate’s ear. “And as soon as you get
your memory back, come visit me on Rageron—okay?”

“
I will,” Kate promised,
hugging her back. She still didn’t remember the girl but knowing
she had a friend who cared and who had known her back before her
memory wipe gave her a warm feeling inside. “Thanks, girlfriend.”
She pressed a quick kiss to the other girl’s high
cheekbones.

When they pulled apart, Emily had tears in
her eyes again.

“
Oh…that’s what you used
to call me back before…at the temple,” she sniffed, wiping moisture
from her golden eyes.

“
Aww…” Kate didn’t know
what to say. She pressed the other girl’s hand quickly and turned
to follow Rone out of the room. As she focused on his broad back,
she thought about the few crumbs of information Emily had dropped
for her. Who and
what
exactly was her husband? What was the
hunger
and why would it make him
‘need’ her more at certain times? Need her for
what
?
Did she
need to be wary of Rone, even after the toxins were removed from
her system in the bio-chelation pool?

Kate didn’t know but she was afraid that she
would find out in the very near future.

Chapter
Eleven

“
My
Khalla,
you have to let go of this
guilt—it is not your fault what happened to Kate.”

“
You don’t think so?
Because it sure
feels
like my fault. That trap was set for
me.”
Emily swiped at her eyes again.
She’d been crying since they got back to the guest suite they had
been assigned for their visit here aboard the Mother
Ship.

“
Emily…come here.” Tragar
was sitting on the couch, watching her pace. Now he beckoned to her
with one big hand.

Emily went to him reluctantly and sat beside
him.

“
No.” Tragar shook his
head and patted his lap. “Face me, Emily. I want you
close.”

Emily did as he said,
straddling his lean hips so that they were face to face. She wanted
the comfort of her man’s hands on her but in some ways she didn’t
feel like she deserved it.
Poor Kate!
Everything that happened to her was my fault. If only I hadn’t told
her to sniff that bouquet…