Forgotten (39 page)

I welcomed unconsciousness.

I woke to the sound of Jace’s voice as
he sung a melody I barely remembered. The intense pressure and icy
pang from the fight subsided when Jace kissed my eyelids, awaking
me wholly. His kiss was the softest, smoothest feeling I dared to
imagine. I rubbed my arms; no wounds. My eyes didn’t sting, and I
could see like my usual self – but I wasn’t. I felt different – not
all powerful, but lost and scared. Just how many people would kill
me without a second thought?

Jace continued to rock me in a rhythm
that synced with the waves as they beat against the shoreline. I
could lie in his arms forever listening to his deep, alluring
voice.

“
You remember,” Jace said,
brushing my hair back. “When you touched dirt-crawler, as Marco
would phrase it, you saw me – you recognized me. You remembered
what I did to you. You know that I drove a knife through your
–”

“
The song you sing reminds
me of a life I don’t remember,” I interrupted, refusing to think
about the two different groups – enemies–hunting me for centuries,
but that Jace had given me my final blow. Jace killed me – Deino –
because of his love.

“
But you remember me,” he
insisted. “You are thinking too hard about it, Gwyneth. Just accept
it as the truth.”

I looked anywhere but his
brilliant white silhouette. There wasn’t a soul in sight. A tear
escaped my eye. “I don’t remember the life you do. I only have
snapshots of who I was. I’m not
her
anymore. I’m not the person you fell in love
with.”

I clenched my eyes shut, hoping to
gain control over myself again. I pressed my palms into my eyes,
not wanting to see him even with my eyes closed. Jace told me that
I had no reason to be ashamed of any tear I shed. Holding me, he
encouraged me to embrace the hurt of being separated from a lost
love and all that I’d forgotten. He never tried to rescue me. The
pain was mine to experience – I needed to feel it, instead of
hiding from it.

“
Sorrow amplifies bliss,”
he whispered, and gently placed his hands over mine. When my tears
slowed, he spoke. “You may not recall every moment we shared, but
you remember my voice.”

“
I’m obsessed with your
voice. That doesn’t mean I remember, Jace,” I said, trying to hold
my ground.

He said nothing for so long, the world
around us came back into my reality. The sound of the waves
crashing on the beach, the smell of salt, the warm breeze on my
skin comforted me. I imagined the burst of orange, red, and yellow
as they lit the sky the night I died so many years ago. The sound
of birds sang to us as he held me. Slowly he started rocking me to
the rhythm of the bird’s song, of his song. I turned his hand over
in mine. I couldn’t feel it, but knew it had to be there – the scar
that started at his thumb and wrapped up his arm. When I traced
over his wrist where it should have been, I felt his spirits
rise.

“
You sense the thread of my
life, don’t you?” Jace said. “You sensed Analee’s, too, which is
why you tried to rip it from her neck. You wanted her to die by
severing it like the Cutter would.”

“
I don’t want her to die. I
want her to suffer,” I muttered, as I traced his skin. The
Chronicler used their threads of life to manipulate their fate, but
I couldn’t recall how. “What happened to her?”

“
Suffering…but recovering,”
Jace said and left it at that.

Instead of pressing the issue, I
focused on us. He needed to live in the present, not the past. I
didn’t like that he was encouraged. I needed him to forget about
the person he once loved, not try to save her. I didn’t remember
being here – not really. Glimpses didn’t mean I remembered out
past; we needed a fresh start.

“
You used to say that I
hide golden slivers in my hair,” he said and brought my hand up to
his hair. “You said that it flickered in the sunlight when you
looked at me.”

I ran my fingers through his hair. It
was like silk in my hands. I loved it, but didn’t remember it. I
told him so. I told him over and over I didn’t remember her as I
ran my hands through his locks. His pulse jumped with mine when I
tugged gently on his hair. He liked it – so did I – but not because
I remembered it. I enjoyed his reaction.

“
My eyes,” he said just
above a moan. “Even in this life, you remember what they look
like.”

“
Only because of a few
quick glimpses I get with my visions.”

“
They’re
memories
, dearest, not
visions.”

I let my hand fall so I could trace
the scar under his eye. I wondered why he never healed it, why he
allowed his perfect body to be damaged. His hot breath hit my skin,
and I forgot how to breathe. His hand slid behind my
neck.

“
You remember the way I
feel next to you,” he said, as he slid one hand down my side. His
fingers touched the small of my back while his thumb gripped my
hip. Not trusting my voice, I shook my head. He grasped my side.
“Liar.”

I gasped and grabbed his hand. He used
my own fingers against me. Tracing them down my side, he brought my
hand down until I touched his leg. He guided my hand up his leg.
Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe, but it wasn’t because I was holding
my breath. He led my hands up his side, onto his stomach. As soon
as my fingers drifted over his skin, he let go of my hand,
encouraging me to explore. As my hand passed over his hard stomach,
he cupped my face. Tracing my fingers lightly up the side of his
torso, I got him to groan so deeply, that it shook every particle
in my body.

“
You find the only place
I’m ticklish. You used to spend hours trying to get a reaction out
of me, only because I adamantly insisted that I didn’t have a funny
bone.”

“
But I don’t remember doing
it,” I said.

“
Your fingers
do.”

He repositioned himself and lowered me
onto the sand. He gazed down at me, and my skin prickled. A
breathtaking, colorless fire that started from his knees sent
flames off his shoulders. I wanted to see it in color, but watching
the air reacting to his heat was enticing all in itself.

“
Breathe, Gwyneth,” he
moaned, struggling to take a breath.

I took a quick breath as he let
himself fall down onto me. His hands gripped the sand on both sides
of my face. Heat radiated from his body. It promised that I’d get
burned, but would love it. I reached back and grabbed each one of
his wrists, and I found the beginning of his scar with my pinky
finger.

A scarlet petal fell from
the sky like a feather. It drifted back and forth. Jace stood
behind me. He blew it lightly, making it twirl in the air. One
after another, petals rained around me. I laughed, loving the
shower.

“
Close your eyes,” Jace
whispered.

I obeyed and waited
eagerly. Using a single petal, he caressed my lips with it. It felt
as smooth as Jace’s lips on my hand.

“
You have a beautiful
spirit,” he said.

“
You put the flower in my
shoes, didn’t you?” I said, recalling the definition Martha gave
for the flower.

He chuckled. He lowered himself onto
me just enough for his knees to touch mine. “Larkspur – you still
have a beautiful spirit. I wanted you to see it.”

“
My point. I can’t see. My
eyes don’t work.” I released my grip to reach up for his hair. I
pulled it down, forcing our hips together. “Or did you forget about
that?”

“
I can heal those, dearest.
Just give me time, and I’ll give you back the Elysian I took from
you,” he said and reached back around to grab my hand.

His lips replaced the rose
petal. He didn’t so much kiss me as tease me with the possibility
of it. He spun me around in his arms. I opened my eyes to him
releasing more petals over my head.

His hands were calloused,
showing the signs of a rough life. A faint silver scar trailed up
the thumb and up his lean, muscular arm until hiding underneath his
short sleeved olive shirt.

“
Forget about
her
,” I said as I fought
his grip on me. “I don’t remember being her!”

“
Quit lying to yourself. I
know you’re dying to remember,” Jace said, and pressed his forehead
against mine. My rapid breath forced my chest into his. I wanted
him – needed him. I was scared. I wiggled my hand from his; he
tightened his grip, and the fire crawled over his skin.

I reached up and took his
hand in mine. My smallest finger brushed over the scar, and it
began to move like it was being blown off his skin. After
separating itself, the scar danced in the wind as if it were a
piece of thread. Jace sang softly in our dialect, as he spun me in
his arms. He pressed his chin gently against my head. The scar
wrapped around us as we danced. I closed my eyes as he lifted my
chin. His silk lips found mine.

“
Forget her,” I whispered,
but all my resistance was gone.

The image of a man’s full,
perfect lips bombarded my mind. I craved him, addicted to his
touch. Everywhere his hand caressed me, my body ignited in a fiery
passion I didn’t want escape. I leaned into him, begging for a kiss
that would never come.

“
Only you,” he
promised.

He was gorgeous, authoritative, and
devoted. A moan grew in his chest when I thought about what I
cherished about him. He clutched my hand like it was a lifeline.
His hot breath hit my lips. My lungs scorched with his adoration.
His other hand slid behind my neck and then his lips brushed mine.
He held me there, only a moment, with our lips skimming the
other.

“
Death will come for me,”
I said more seriously. “You must carry the Elysian in my blood so
both races survive my death. Without it, I fear chaos will destroy
their fate. Besides, the others will need someone to follow in my
absence.”

“
I’m a gladiator and a
Healer,” he said. “I’m not a ruler.”

“
Let your heart rule. If
you can’t find your way, trust your instincts,” I said and then
smirked. “It’s better than any compass. It brought me to
you.”

“
Our destinies have always
been intertwined,” he said, pulling slightly away from me. He
released his grip on my hand. “I promised to heal you – return the
very essence of your soul. Centuries have come and gone while I
searched for you. I want nothing more than to fulfill that promise,
when the time is right.”

I reached up to him. He turned his
face into my hand. A tear trickled down my finger; it wasn’t mine.
His warm lips pressed into mine; his tongue tickled mine; his lips
tasted like an angel’s kiss. His hands sifted through my hair, and
his lips were on mine again. His pulse rose. His breathing became
erratic as he tried to hold me gently but never let go of me. His
fingertips numbed me as they caressed my skin.

That I knew exactly what he was
physically experiencing only made me want him more. That I could
affect someone like him this way, that someone would want me this
much, was an impossibility that came true. I pulled at his hair,
keeping him close as his tongue rolled over mine.

I needed to stop hiding from him. He
had suffered, too. Our past had meant enough for him to spend
centuries searching for me. I couldn’t imagine killing anyone in
the name of love. My voice rose just above a whisper, “Help me
remember, Jace.”

“
I’ll do everything in my
power, my beloved.” Jace said it like it meant more than just a
promise; it was a vow.

We missed the sunrise as our passion
consumed us. I never wanted to forget the taste of his kiss.
Flashes of his memories flooded my mind whenever our scars brushed
each other. I wasn’t Deino anymore, but her memories would serve
me; I needed them to survive. I needed Jace, not only because he
lit my heart on fire, but because without him, I’d be
lost.

“
Kiss her much longer, and
she’ll become an Addict,” Marco said. “She’s still
human.”

Jace broke our kiss. Groaning, he
pulled away. I didn’t want to stop either. He pushed off the sand
and held himself in a push-up position above me.

“
So back to the original
plan – heal her, find her sisters, and save us from an eternal
visit to Hades?” Marco asked.

Jace pushed himself up but hesitated
to look away from me. His devotion burned, not just for me, but to
find the one who was hell bent on killing me for a wish. Jace
wanted the Butcher’s death, and he wanted to be the one to kill
him. I felt it burning in my soul just like it was evident as the
fire dancing over his skin. “Gwyneth has to give me permission to
heal her,” Jace said.

Marco scoffed, “You really believe
Analee will buy that?”

“
Analee can shove it,” I
said, and smiled vindictively as Jace helped me up. We walked up to
Marco and braced myself for the shift. “Why do you plot against
Analee if you used to be together?”

“
Used to be,”
Marco clarified. “She kicked me to the curb, just
like you predicted.”

“
Does Analee know that you
were the one who asked for the ability to speak soundlessly?” I
asked.