Forgotten (2 page)

“Yeah?”

“Will you need a ride home? I’m only in the office for a couple of hours; I can pick you up when I’ve finished.”

“No, I’ll be alright. I’ll get Sam or Madison to give me a ride – but thanks for asking, Mom.” With a wave, she made her way to the mall parking lot to meet her two friends that she could see were waiting for her by Sam’s neptune green metallic 1997 Mitsubishi Mirage DE coupe.

When Jessica was out of sight, Mrs. Sinclair pulled away from the traffic lights and headed for the office building where she worked as a lawyer and where Katrina’s psychiatrist practiced.

*

An hour later Katrina was sitting in Doctor Joanne Clairmont’s office, looking at all the diplomas that lined the walls. There came a noise; Katrina turned to the door, and Doctor Clairmont entered the room.

“I’m sorry I kept you waiting, Katrina, but I had to have a word with your guardian on a case we’re both working on,” Doctor Clairmont crossed to her desk and sat down.

Doctor Clairmont was in her early thirties, with short brown hair, kind brown eyes and a friendly smile that put her clients at ease.

“That’s okay. I was just looking at all your diplomas. It’s the first time I’ve really noticed them,” Katrina said, gesturing to the frames hanging in front of her.

“Please, call me Joanne; I think we know each other well enough to use our first names, don’t you?” Doctor Clairmont said, smiling.

Katrina smiled back.

“Is it true that you met my foster mother at Princeton?” Katrina asked, catching Doctor Clairmont by surprise.

“Yes, it’s true. I met her while I was studying for my degree in psychiatry. She had just finished her degree in law. Why do you ask?”

“No real reason, it’s just that Jess found some old photographs in the attic the other day, that’s all,” Katrina said, feeling a little guilty for prying.

“Katrina, while I was talking to your foster mother earlier she mentioned that you were nervous about something?” Doctor Clairmont asked.

“Just about the last session we had together,” Katrina said almost too low to hear, brushing her hair out of her eyes with her hand.

“And that was?” Doctor Clairmont asked, though the question was more to herself as she moved to the computer and brought up the case files. “Ah, yes,” She looked up at Katrina. “Hypnosis.”

I wish she would stop looking at me like that. It’s starting to make me nervous
. Katrina wiped her sweating palms on the legs of her jeans.

“We can discuss that in more detail in a little while. Is there anything else on your mind that’s been bothering you?”

“Not really. It’s just that I am still a bit confused about everything that has happened to me. Why hasn’t my memory returned yet?” Tears prickled Katrina’s eyes.

“Well, firstly, Katrina, you’ve got to be patient where your memory is concerned. Trying too hard could cause serious long-term damage. I know it’s hard, but you have to give it time.”

“All right. I’ll try.” Katrina sighed.

“That’s good. Now how about we clear up some of the confusion you’ve had recently. Okay?” Doctor Clairmont consulted Katrina’s case notes again.

“I guess so,” Katrina smiled weakly.

“All right then. First things first, some things I’m going to tell you might upset you so I apologize in advance.

“This is the information that I have from the police and the doctors that looked after you when you were in hospital: Last October you were found badly beaten on the grounds of Clayton Falls High, the football field to be exact, and you were then rushed to Clayton Falls General Hospital, where you slipped into a coma for over two months due to your head injuries and other complications.”

“Erm, what other complications?” Katrina asked, trying to hide the fear from her eyes or voice.

There was a pause. “It doesn’t really say other than that apart from you were referred to a specialist because of them.”

“I don’t understand. Is there something really wrong with me?”

“No, no. I am sorry if I alarmed you; it probably just means you had surgery. You shouldn’t worry; the Sinclairs will have been told about any problem that might arise. Any fears you have, you really ought to discuss with them. Like me, they’re here to help you.”

“Okay, but this is all so scary. I don’t even recognize my own face.”

“The only other piece of information I have is that all the police could find to identify you with was a silver heart-shaped locket with an inscription that read, ‘
To Katrina, Love Suzanne
’.

“When you regained consciousness you were suffering from amnesia and, when checked, no one matched your description in the Clayton High School students’ records,” Doctor Clairmont finished, looking up at Katrina.

Katrina sat in shocked silence, staring at the floor. After a couple of minutes that seemed like an eternity, Katrina glanced up to see Doctor Clairmont’s kind eyes gazing back at her.

“Are you all right, Katrina?” Doctor Clairmont stood up and walked around to the front of her desk.

“Yes,” Katrina said absently. “It’s just a shock, that’s all. I never knew what really happened while I was in hospital. It’s all a bit of a daze.” Pushing herself up from her seat, Katrina began to pace.

Abruptly Katrina stopped pacing and walked over to a leather couch situated under the window that overlooked Washington Drive. Before sitting down, Katrina looked out of the window to see mothers shopping while pushing baby strollers, and teenagers entering fast-food diners. Dropping into the seat, Katrina covered her face with her hands and started to cry again.

“I’m so sorry. I know this must be hard for you.”

Katrina slowly looked up and wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. “Really, I’m okay. Anyway, I thought therapy is there for me to get my there to get my feelings out into the open,” Katrina replied, with a little hiccup.

“It is, but I also have to remind you that it isn’t the only reason you come to see me, is it?” Doctor Clairmont walked over to the couch and sat next to Katrina.

“No it isn’t, but I’m sick of not having any memories about who I am.” Katrina paused and held her breath for a moment to stop herself from hiccupping again, before continuing. “I don’t even have an identity anymore.”

“I know it feels like that right now, but it won’t feel like that forever. You’re an attractive, intelligent young woman, and from my experience most teenagers have some problems figuring out who they are in one way or other. As for your memory, I hope hypnosis will remedy that,” Doctor Clairmont said soothingly. “I mentioned it at the end of our last session and you seemed positive about the possibilities, however, it seemed clear from the beginning of this session that, since then, you’ve begun to feel nervous at the prospect. What concerns you the most about it?”

“I’m still interested in trying it if it will answer some questions about my past, but I’ve had time to think about it and I don’t like the thought of not being in control. My main worry is that I’ll lose some of the new memories I’ve made with the Sinclairs. So, erm, I guess what I want to know is … is it
dangerous
?”

“I would never let you come to any harm, and if by any chance you do get distressed then I’ll bring you back straight away. You have what is classed as retrograde amnesia which means that, due to your head trauma, you are unable to recall most of your past, but it should return given time. From our sessions though I also believe you may have dissociative amnesia that is caused because, subconsciously at least, you don’t want to remember the day of your accident and the events that led up to it. If I am right, hypnotherapy may help unlock significant memories so you can begin to form a clearer picture of who you were, and still are. If it doesn’t work you won’t lose any memories you already have, but it will at least relax you and you may be able to take away a few techniques to use on yourself when you’re feeling overly anxious.”

Reaching for a tissue, Katrina blew her nose, then stood and forced herself to smile at Doctor Clairmont.

“Do I take your response to mean that you would like to try hypnosis?” Doctor Clairmont asked from the couch.

“Yes,” Katrina agreed, nodding.

“That’s great!” Doctor Clairmont beamed. She climbed from her seat and returned to her desk, adding notes to Katrina’s file. “I really think it’ll help. Now, do you have any questions you’d like to ask about it before we begin?”

“Only whether I’ll remember anything I say during my trance.”

“I’m afraid not, Katrina,” Doctor Clairmont said, shaking her head. “But I could video you on my camcorder if that’s alright with you,” Doctor Clairmont continued.

Katrina gave a nod.

“Thank you,” Doctor Clairmont replied. “Can you please go and make yourself comfortable on the couch?”

I hope I’m doing the right thing
, Katrina thought as she lay down where Doctor Clairmont had directed her to.

“Comfortable?” Doctor Clairmont asked, picking her notepad and pen up from her desk.

Katrina nodded.

“Good, now can you close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths,” Doctor Clairmont said, her voice soothing.

Katrina started to follow the instructions that Doctor Clairmont was giving her, when suddenly a bright violet light invaded Katrina’s brain and began to pulsate to the beat of her heart. Katrina felt as though she was floating, but just as quickly as the light had started, it disappeared, and Katrina felt herself begin to fall.

When the feeling had stopped, she opened her eyes. What she saw surprised her, as she was still in Doctor Clairmont’s office and yet she was not. It was as though her mind had split into two; her body was still on the leather couch, her eyes closed and her chest rising and falling gently, while Doctor Clairmont sat making notes beside where she lay.

How can this be possible?
Katrina asked herself.

“Katrina?” a voice called through the veil of her thoughts.

“Yes,” the girl on the couch replied, her eyes still closed and her muscles relaxed.

“I’m going to ask you a couple of questions. Is that okay?” the voice came again.

“Yes,” the girl replied.

This is not happening. How can I speak to you when I am not there in my body?

“Katrina, relax. Let go of your conscious mind and let your subconscious wake.”

Katrina obeyed Doctor Clairmont’s instructions. Once again the feeling of falling swept over her, but when the feeling stopped this time Katrina was aware that a picture of her past was opening up in front of her. A meadow.

“I am now speaking to Katrina’s subconscious. Do you understand?” Doctor Clairmont asked.

“Yes.”

“Good. Now I would like you to go back to a time where you were happy.”

“I’ll try,” Katrina responded, and as she said the words, the picture of the meadow began to surround her.

“What do you see, Katrina?” Doctor Clairmont asked, her voice far away.

“A meadow,” Katrina answered simply, “and I can see myself sitting underneath a tree.”

“What do you see yourself doing?”

“I am looking at the clouds making shapes.”

“Okay, that’s good. Katrina, I want you to become the girl that is sitting under the tree. Don’t worry; once I count to five and clap, you’ll come straight back and wake up. Just embrace the scene before you,” Doctor Clairmont said, her voice still soothing and as quiet as a whisper.

“Wait!” Katrina screamed, shaking her head from side to side. “I’m not ready!”

“Yes, you are. Relax and let go of the fear, you’re in a safe place and nothing can hurt you here.”

Katrina took a couple of deep breaths, and looked at the girl who was still sitting underneath the tree. With one final look at the girl on the couch, she whispered, “I’m ready now.”

No sooner had the words escaped her lips than there was another flash of bright violet light and Katrina had merged with the girl who was sitting under the tree.

“Something’s wrong!” Katrina gasped. Her muscles tensed and her hands gripped the leather cushions on the couch, sweat beginning to plaster her hair to her forehead and face.

“Nothing is wrong,” the whisper continued, “you’re just scared, that’s all. It’s natural and it will fade soon.”

Katrina began to slowly relax and accept what was happening to her, but at a small corner in the back of her mind she still felt uneasy. She would be glad when all this would be over and she would be back in her bedroom, talking to Jessica about boys and starting school in a couple of weeks’ time.

As Katrina slowly began to fall back into her trance, she was aware of sights and sounds around the girl she was becoming. The meadow she was in was filled with sweet-smelling flowers such as bluebells and buttercups, and when Katrina looked down to see what she was wearing, she found that she was in a long old-fashioned dress with several petticoats under the skirt.

“Katrina, can you still hear me?” a ghost voice whispered.

Yes
, Katrina replied to herself.

“Can you tell me who you are?”

Before Katrina could register the question in her mind, her lips parted and she started to speak in a voice unlike her own. “My name is Katrina Elizabeth Harvey.”