Forgiveness and Second Chances (5 page)

“I took the easier route. I joined the Navy.” He smiled. “My dad didn’t give me a choice. He said since I decided to be a father, I had to man up. He made me join the military.”

“I’m sorry.”

He squeezed her hand. “Don’t be. It was the best decision I ever made. I went to college and I’m an officer now. I love what I do, and it helped me become a better man and father.” He stared at her.

“I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me a thing. I’m so sorry for what I did to you.”

“Jeremy, look at me.”

He lifted his head and stared at her.

“I forgave you. You didn’t do it out of hatred. I should’ve told you that Carmen was the one who slept with that guy. He was pointing at her, not at me.”

“You knew what I assumed? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I heard them talking and I saw the expression on your face when he pointed toward me, but if you recall, I’d been talking to Carmen. I wasn’t going to tell you her business, and you never asked.”

“It doesn’t matter. What I did to you—”

She stopped him from talking. “It’s forgotten. I loved you, Jeremy.” She smiled. “I had already decided I was going to give you my precious gift, but you just rushed me before I could.” She looked down at Alanie. “I can’t regret what happened, because you wouldn’t have been blessed with her.”

“We were blessed with her.”

“Are you going to let me in her life?”

“Do you want to be?”

“I do. Oh Lord, I do. I know I have ten years to make up for, and it won’t be easy. She’s being kind to me because of the events.”

“Alanie has a forgiving soul. She will not hold anything we did in the past against us. I raised her to forgive.”

“I’ve searched for the two of you, but would always hit a dead end.”

“I searched for you too. I gave your mother my address when we moved.”

She looked at him, surprised. “You gave my mother your address?”

“Yes.”

“She never gave it to me. I came back home three months later, after entering a deep depression, but you were gone. My mom never said anything, never mentioned you. She kicked me out after a fight. I found out I was pregnant and I made her believe I moved to Canada with my dad, but I didn’t.” She looked away.

“Lanie, where did you go?”

“I was so afraid of my mom finding out, and beating me. I dropped out of school, and I ended up at a homeless shelter.”

“What?” He raised his voice, his eyes shining.

“I couldn’t keep her around a druggie. I had nothing to give her. ” Her lips quivered. “Those people at the center were nice to me, but they had planned to take her away from me the minute I gave birth. I couldn’t let them take her.”

“Why didn’t you come to me?”

“Because I was young, dumb, and mad at you, but I gave into you that night. I let you have sex with me. I know if I would’ve said no, you would’ve stopped.”

“Lanie.”

“I went back to school a year later and I graduated high school. Then I got a full scholarship to college, and while I was in college, I worked three jobs, and I hired a private investigator to search for you, but he always came up empty. He played me. I gave up too easily.”

“My dad and I went over to your mother’s house when we found Alanie, and she told us it was impossible for you to have had a baby, and she told us not to come back.”

“She didn’t know because she was always too busy getting high to notice.”

“You should’ve came to me. My dad would’ve helped you.”

“Jeremy, at that time in my life, I wasn’t thinking straight. I had nothing to offer a baby, but I knew you would and you have.”

Alanie started waking up, and stretched her arms out, the same way Malanie did. “I’m hungry.”

“You’re always hungry.” Jeremy smile
d, but it didn’t make it to his eyes, like usual.

“That’s not true,” she said, sitting up.

“Aunt Carolyn is on her way to pick you up.”

“Can I come back and visit tomorrow?” She stared at her Dad.

“Yes, if that’s okay.” He looked at Malanie.

“Of course,” she blurted out.

She leaned up and kissed Malanie on the cheek. “I hope you feel better.” Getting off the bed, she went to the bathroom.

There was a knock on the door, and Carolyn walked in. She was a tall, attractive woman, with long, brown hair and golden, hazel eyes.

“Carolyn, it’s been a long time. You look great.” Malanie said, looking at his sister.

“It has. How are you feeling?”

“Could be better.”

“I’m sorry to hear about the baby, but if you need someone to talk to, call me. I was in my last trimester when I lost my baby. I know how you feel.”

Malanie just stared at her.

Alanie came out of the bathroom. “I washed my hands, Daddy.” She started to giggle. “Bye, Ms. Malanie. See you tomorrow.” She waved as she left with her aunt.

“You don’t have to stay,” she said.

“I know.”

Malanie’s door swung open.

“Hey, baby, I got you some flowers,” Luis said, strolling into her room with a bouquet of wild flowers in his hands. He still had a black eye and busted lip from when Jeremy had beat him up, defending her.

Her heart raced. “Get out.” Her voice rattled with anger.

He set the flowers on the table next to her bed. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I lost it,” he said, walking to her side. “I just can’t lose you.”

“You’re sorry?” she yelled. “For what, for beating me or for killing my baby?”

“What?”

“You killed my baby!” she cried. “Get out!”

He just stood in shock, looking at her. “No, she can’t be dead. You’re supposed to protect her,” he said, staring angrily at her. “It’s your fault.”

She reached and grabbed the vase of flowers, throwing it at him, and he ducked out of the way. “Get out!” she yelled again, “and take your flowers with you!”

Jeremy heard her yelling from down the hall and ran into her room, pulling the door open. “You bastard, haven’t you hurt her enough?”

Luis glared back at him and she could tell he remembered him. “You again. What are you doing here?”

“Making sure no one—I mean no one—hurts her again.” He stalked up to him. “You will never lay another finger on her.”

“Jeremy, it’s okay. Luis was just leaving,” Malanie said.

“Bitch, you fucking this white trash?”

Jeremy grabbed him by the arm, pushing him up on the wall. “I thought you were in jail?”

“Get your hands off me, or you’ll regret it. I can have you arrested for assault,” Luis said, trying to pry himself away from Jeremy’s grip.

“But you won’t,” Malanie said. “We have nothing holding us together anymore. I don’t want to see you again.” Malanie closed her eyes.

“Did you hear her? If I catch you bothering her again, I promise I’ll make you regret the day you were born.” Jeremy pushed him out of her room.

Her lips quivered as she cried. “I can’t believe my baby is dead, and he’s responsible. It’s my fault…I should’ve left him long time ago. Now my baby’s gone.”

He held her hand and squeezed it. He wanted to get into the bed with her and hold her, but he didn’t. “I won’t let him, or anyone, hurt you again,” he whispered in her ear.

Jeremy entered her room. “Ready to go home?” he asked, looking stunning in his khaki uniform. God, he was sexy. His face was more mature, but he was the same boy she’d fallen in love with, so many years ago.

“Yes, I’m ready.” She picked up her bag.

He moved closer and took the bag away from her. The nurse came in with a wheelchair. She sat, and the nurse pushed her to the exit of the hospital. Jeremy helped her up to his SUV, and closed her door before running to his side. “Where to?”

She gave him the address and he input it in his navigation system. “Lanie, are you sure you’ll be safe? You can stay with Alanie and me.”

She’d had her locks and alarm system changed at her condo.

“I’ll be okay. I have the best guards and a security system.” She looked out the window. “My mom insisted on staying with me for a couple of weeks. Can you believe it, after all these years? She’s trying to be a real mom.”

“Do you still want Alanie to come over next Friday?” he asked, peering over at her for a second, and returning to look at the road.

“I want to spend as much time with her. I’ve lost so much already. Did you change your mind?”

“No, she needs you. It’s just your mother, I don’t know how I feel about her spending time with Alanie.”

“I won’t let her hurt her. I found my daughter and I want a relationship with her. No one will keep her away from me.” She paused. “Only you have the power to,” she said with sadness in her voice.

He grabbed her hand without looking at her. “I will
not
keep her from you.”

He reached her building and she could tell he was in awe. “What do you do again?”

She laughed. “I’m an accountant.”

“You’ve always loved numbers.” He parked where she pointed, in the guest spot next to hers. Next to his SUV there was a navy blue C-Class Mercedes coupe. “Damn, you really did good for yourself.”

“I came from nothing, making awful decisions, but I believed in myself.” She gave a light chuckle.

“I always knew you could do any thing you put your mind to.” He got out of the car and walked over her side, helping her out. He grabbed her bag and followed her. She had to use her fingerprint to get into the building and elevator. “You’re right. Great security. Alanie will be safe.”

“I wouldn’t let anyone hurt her.”

The elevator opened and they walked into the hall. She opened her condo door with a special key. “Welcome to my home.” She gave him a tour.

Her condo was modern and huge. It had a beautiful view of the city, with an open floor plan. The living room was decorated in dark colors. Her kitchen had all stainless steel appliances, with a island in the middle and hanging pots. Her dining room, decorated in white and black, seated eight people. The master bedroom was simple, with a king size bed in the middle with white blankets and about ten pillows. Her bathroom was big with separate shower and bath tub and a walk-in closet. Her condo had two balconies.

“Only one bedroom?”

“No, I have one more.” He followed her.

She took a deep breath, placing her hand on the doorknob. Jeremy put his hands on hers. “I don’t need to see it.”

“I need to, but I don’t want to do it alone.” She opened the door.

“Nooo….”

Everything she had for the baby was gone. The crib, clothes, everything was gone. There was an envelope on the full-size bed. She picked it up, read it, and rushed out of the room, crying.

Jeremy picked it up, and read it.

Malanie,

I donated all of the baby’s things. I knew it would be hard coming home to be reminded of something you lost.

Love,

Mom

He closed the door and went searching for her, he found her in the living room looking out at the view, with her hands wrapped around her waist. He came up behind her and gently laid a hand on her shoulder. It startled her, making her jump.

“Lanie, she meant well.”

“I wanted to do it. That’s all I had left of her.” She wiped her tears.

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” he whispered in her ear. She turned in his arms and cried for the loss of her baby. “I’m here for you,” he said, rubbing her back. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“She was my second chance,” she said between sobs. “I’m missing something I never had.”

“Your first chance is still here, and she loves you.” He leaned back, wiping her tears. “I wish I could bring your baby back to you. She was beautiful. Small, button nose, and full lips, like you.” He touched her nose, and then he touched her hair. “She even had curly hair. She looked so peaceful, like an angel, sleeping….”

“She was perfect.” She turned back around and looked up to the sky. “My Angel’s in heaven with Jacky.”

They turned when they heard keys at her door. “It’s my mom. She’s the only one I gave the new combinations to,” she said, entering the kitchen.

“I should leave.” He walked to the door.

“No.”

“She hates me. I don’t think that’s changed.”

“That’s her problem, not mine. You’re my friend.” When she said that, she was surprised to see hurt in his eyes.

“Malanie, I’m here,” her mother called. With one look at Jeremy, the woman stopped short. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Before he could answer, Malanie did, stepping forward. “He’s here because I want him here.”