Forgiven (5 page)

“You haven’t even seen the best parts.” He takes my hand and walks in front of me, pulling me through to the kitchen.

“I don’t think you understand that it won’t matter where I am or what kind of house it is, just as long as we’re both in it.”

He turns and looks at me with hooded eyes. “Oh, I do understand that because I feel the same way. But I don’t think you understand how badly I want to give you the world, Gabby Girl.”

What is there to say to that? I just smile and look down at the beautiful hardwood floors beneath my feet. I am the absolute luckiest girl in the world.
Someone pinch me now
.

The rest of the house is incredible. Maggie, who we probably grossed out a few minutes ago with our cheesy romantic talk, has been talking about all the features the home has like a typical sales person. She points out that there is a study on the main floor that Bradley could use as a home office. The kitchen is a dream kitchen, and it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before. All of my friends had these beautiful gourmet kitchens with stainless steel near commercial quality appliances and granite countertops. They all had beautiful custom cabinetry. I don’t care about all the specifics. If I can cook in the small kitchen in the apartment or the cottage in Charleston, then I can cook anywhere.

The difference between this kitchen and those of my friends isn’t all the upgrades. It’s the thought of knowing it could be
my
kitchen. My mind flutters to thoughts of Bradley doing highly sexy things to me on those very countertops. It makes me blush to just think about it. I glance over at him, and I know that look on his face. I’m pretty sure he’s having those same exact thoughts at this moment. His thumb brushes up against the skin on my hand he’s holding. The slightest touch from him is like an electrifying shock through my body.

We make our way upstairs. The master bedroom exceeds my wildest expectations. Not only is it ginormous, but it has a formal sitting area with a stacked stone fireplace. I close my eyes and immediately see us cuddled up on a couch, Bradley spooning me while I read. I don’t need to see another thing in this house. I can already tell it feels like home.

“I want it,” I whisper as I tug his arm, causing him to glance back at me.

“Oh, what’s that? I can’t ever hear you when you mumble like that.”

I shyly whisper again, “I want it.” I love the house. It just feels weird to say this out-loud. It makes me feel like I must be some kind of greedy girl to want all this house, to want all this luxury. I’ve always prided myself on not needing or necessarily even wanting all of this.
Who was I kidding? Who wouldn’t want this?

Bradley’s eyes light up, and it takes me back to that day on the beach when I told him I’d go to dinner with him. It takes me back to the night at Steak and Shake when he nearly choked on his milkshake. All of our firsts flash before my eyes, and I realize this is one of them. We are about to make a home, a family, a life with each other. I can’t wait for all of the firsts that will be housed in this home.

“Then, it’s yours, Baby. But you have to see the bathroom, just because it’s awesome.”

How does he know what the bathroom looks like?
“Have you been here before?” I ponder out loud as I cock my head to the side.

“No, but I’ve seen pictures.” He leads me into the spacious master bath.

“Take off your shoes,” he commands.

“Um, okay?”

He flips a switch and gives me a nudge onto the ceramic tile. The floor feels delightful against my bare feet. It’s warm.
The floor is warm
. Unbelievable. This is how rich people live. I turn to him. “Heated floors?”

He nods.

“Well I was already sold, but this coupled with that shower and bathtub is just the icing on the cake.” I giggle. The shower, like everything else, is expansive. Tiles cover two of the walls and the other two walls are made of glass. The bathtub is more like a small Jacuzzi, outfitted with jets and large enough to easily accommodate the two of us. There is a chrome water fountain for the faucet. There are double vanities on separate walls. Most girls would be thankful for a separate space because I’ve heard most guys are slobs when it comes to bathrooms, but Bradley is the clean one, not me.

I let go of his hand and slowly spin myself. “I don’t know what else to say...when can we move in?” The house is vacant. Surely it won’t take that long. I look to Maggie.

She glances to Bradley. “Mr. Banks said he would be financing the home, so it will probably take about thirty days for the loan to close.”

I turn my head back to Bradley puzzled. “As opposed to what, paying cash?” Who pays cash for a house like this? Who pays cash for a house, period?

He nods. “I won’t finance it if you want to move in quicker than that. It’s just...”

I feel all the color drain from my face. I knew that he was loaded, but I don’t even think I realized just how loaded he apparently is. The thought of paying cash for a house like this overwhelms me. “Gabby, I have a trust fund. A very large trust fund. But I’ve spent my entire life working hard because I don’t want to be a trust fund brat.” He wraps his arm around me and pulls me close, lifting my chin. “I’ll use it if you want. I’ll do anything for you.”

I shake my head and swallow hard. “No, I’m good with financing.” I realize in that moment financing a home has never sounded so good. It’s the normal thing to do. The thought of him handing over that kind of money for me makes me want to vomit. Not only that, I would never want him to do something that his heart isn’t into.

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

He leans down and plants the gentlest, sweetest, lingering kiss onto my lips. When he’s done, all I can do is touch them. My entire body feels like Jello, and more than anything in the world, I wish I could fast forward six months and know that standing in this exact spot, that kiss would have come from my husband. I hear my mother’s voice in my mind telling me to not wish my life away. I smile. It’s not often that I can hear her so vividly, but when it does, it rocks me to the core. It’s like she knows that this is happening to me, and that she’s giving me her blessing. Tears begin to trickle down my cheek, and I quickly walk away to look out of the window, hoping to hide my moment from Bradley.

The thing about soul mates it seems, though, is that you can’t hide moments like that. He seems to have a radar for when I need a shoulder. Maybe it’s Maggie’s presence. I don’t know why I feel like I need to hide from this man. He’s my everything. I hear him say to Maggie, “Give us a minute, please.”

He closes the door to the bathroom and comes up to me from behind, wrapping his arms around my waist. He rests his chin on my shoulder and I assume he’s looking out of the window, too. I’m thankful he’s not turned me around. I hate crying in front of people, especially him.

“You wanna talk about it?” he asks.

I barely shake my head. “Just thinking about my mom again.”

“Ah.” He breathes onto the exposed skin on my neck sending shivers through my body. “What about her?”

“Nothing, kinda crazy. I hear her sometimes. It’s rare, but it happens.” My voice cracks, and I take a moment to try to fight back the tears before I continue. “I had been wishing it was six months down the road and that we were already married in this bathroom.”

He chuckles. “Well that sounds good to me.”

I elbow him, “I heard her say not to wish away my life. She always told us that as kids.”

“Yeah, I’ve been told that a time or two by my grandparents. I know we are both anxious to get married, but I think she’s right. We both need to enjoy every moment, every breath.”

I pivot on my heels and pull his head down so our lips are crushed together. “I love you,” I breathlessly murmur through our kiss.

“Whoa.” He grins and shakes his head. “Always so unexpected. I love you. What do you say we go buy this house before someone else does?”

We are in the car following Maggie back to her office to fill out the contract on the house. Gabby has broken out of her quiet, shy mood. She’s now become a little chatter box. I smile occasionally and nod when I think it seems appropriate. I’ve gotten good at tuning people out, but being able to detect those breaks when it is necessary for me to act like I’m paying attention. I’m not ignoring her to be rude. I hate that I am not more excited at this moment. It’s been hard for me to get the whole baby situation out of my head. Especially after looking at a house and envisioning my future children.

I’m not sure how she’s going to take what I have to tell her. I’ve been on the fence all day as to whether I should bring this up or not today of all days. Just like I had promised, I called our family attorney Monday about getting a paternity test. I knew he would know exactly what to do. He handles all kinds of scandals on a regular basis. He’s excellent at what he does, which is why he’s on retainer for our family. My father is very good at covering up all of his many indiscretions.

I had been waiting for him to get back to me. He had to do some research. Apparently, it’s not a popular decision to test paternity in the middle of a pregnancy. It’s usually done at the very beginning or at the very end. They don’t like doing them in the middle because it requires an amniocentesis, where they take fluid from the uterus, which can cause pre-term labor. So that means, unfortunately for us, we have to wait until the baby is born to determine paternity.

I know that despite my door being closed to my office earlier, my reaction was beyond out of control. I won’t blame Gabby if she flips out knowing we’ll have to wait on finding out. I realize that when I tell her this, I risk all the bliss we’ve had today gushing down the drain. We’ve both tried to act like it doesn’t exist to some degree, but I don’t know how much longer I can stand this. I just want to know, myself, so that I can plan my life and move forward, forward with her.

The thought of telling her while we’re out and I have the only mode of transportation brings a slight smile to my face. She’s a runner. She runs everytime something bad happens. I would like to think she’s not going to continue those sprints now that she has a ring on her finger. Maybe her not having the ability to go anywhere will help her realize she doesn’t have to do that anymore.

I glance over to her, and the excitement I see on her face takes my breath away. The thought of hurting her or spoiling that breaks my heart. As selfish as it may be, I want to watch her this animated a little while longer. I’ll tell her at dinner. But rather than trapping her into not running, I’ll have some faith in my girl. I’ll let her take her car, and if she runs, then I’ll deal with that. She’s got to learn to deal with things like an adult. You can’t run away when things get tough. I silently pray that she learned her lesson last weekend about doing that.